Written for: The Loved and Hated ships competition & The Random Song Challenge.

Song: I'll Be Waiting by Adele.

Pairing: Snape/Lily - Hated ship.

Prompts used: 'In the end the only thing he had left was him/Her'; Nail polish; 'Life is never easy'; Roses

Thanks to Being A Wallflower for beta-ing.

He was always watching her, loving her from afar. The corners of his mouth twisted up as he stared at the picture of him and a pretty redhead girl. She was laughing in the picture, her mane of fire igniting in the glinting sunlight as she turned to the sulky boy next to her. She was truly breath-taking, he thought, like a rose – beautiful but deadly if not handled with care.

Emphasis on was.

His mouth twisted into a sardonic almost-smile.

He still remembered the moment over fourteen years ago, when he had held the love of his life body in his arms for the last time.

'Lily,' he choked, completely ignoring the body of her husband, choosing instead to step over it as he made his way to the nursery.

Time stood still as he stood in the doorway, unashamed tears streaming down his pale face as he looked at the once vibrant splash of red splayed across the dark wooden floors of the room. He couldn't bring himself to look at her face.

Unconsciously he had walked forwards, dragging his heavy heart with him. He crashed to his knees feeling the tell tale prick behind his eyes as he cradled her beautiful lifeless body in his arms like he had longed to do since the day he first met her.

Black eyes, dead eyes, sad eyes. Snape's eyes.

Green eyes, emerald eyes, laughing eyes. Lily's eyes.

He could feel the pain in his chest swelling and swelling and swelling until it burst, like a balloon.

No. Not a balloon. Balloons were for parties: for happy times.

Snape let out a howl of anguish as he looked down and gently pressed his warm lips that were known for their sneer onto her pale ones, known for the smile that always graced them.

He had wanted to do that for so many years, so many painful years of watching her from afar; of watching her sad smile as they went their separate ways after being sorted in first year, he into the House of Snakes and her into the Den of Lions; of the tears that streamed down his pathetic face when she ended their friendship. The worst was when he watched her kiss Potter for the first time in their seventh year. Oh, he thought that pain would never fade.

His tears dripped onto her face as he repeatedly said over and over again, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

He watched her face, desperately hoping that this was some kind of sick joke, that she would wake up and throw her arms around his neck and kiss him the way she used to kiss Potty, that she would marry him and that he would be the one whom she directed 'I love you' to, and he would be the one on the receiving end of her 'Goodnight's'

He looked up to the shattered ceiling, a pale face streaked with tears, a chest heaving from his soul wracking sobs.

"Why her?" he whispered to the moon, "Why Lily?"

His cries got louder as his grief turned to anger. Abruptly he stood up, not being able to look into the face of Lily Potter, because that's who she would always belong to – Potter.

He howled with a deep anguish that would make a phoenix cry, an irreparable hurt, an inconsolable grief. He cried like a broken man.

He was broken out of his reverie by the sound of somebody knocking on his office door. It was Potter, here for his Occlumency lessons.

He couldn't look him in the eyes without seeing Lily. His ice cold shield would crack. His eyes was all he had left of Lily and it was too much, he would never forget the years he had spent waiting for her to return his love, he would never forget the pain she caused him, but most of all he would never forget how much he loved her.