~if~

A young girl was walking alone through a hallway at the Shin'ō Academy. She wasn't a student, she had graduated sometime ago. So, what was she doing there? Her lieutenant had asked her to deliver some documents about new recruits. As a dutiful person, she accepted the task without complaining at all. Insignificant duties were what she always got since she became a shinigami, although actually she was capable enough to do the more dangerous and important ones. For her, it was just another dull day like any other day since she was adopted by a great noble family. She was aware that her adopted brother's influence prevented her from doing real duties as a shinigami, but she never blamed him. She really respected him, even though he rarely paid attention to her.

The petite shinigami girl had completed her task and she was heading back to her division. But she still didn't look happy because there was nothing to look forward for her. Her noble surname secluded her from normal life, including her only childhood friend. But again, she never blamed anyone or anything for her rather sad fate. She always tried to find the bright side of everything, but still… sometimes she felt that her life was meaningless. She couldn't deny the fact that she was just a normal girl who could feel lonely and sad. Maybe if she could find another person who felt similar things with her, she would be able to realize the meaning of her life. This was when she met him.

"Huh, is someone there?" She whispered to herself when she suddenly heard a silent sob.

She focused her sight to the source of the voice and the first thing that caught her attention was something white. There standing in a corner, the one who owned the white fluffy thing as hair was a little boy. She couldn't believe a kid as young as him could be accepted here. What made her really curious and also sad was that he was crying alone, but no one even cared to approach him. Yes, she was fully aware that he was unusual, but he was just a little boy, not different from any other kids who normally have fragile feelings, right? She didn't know anything about him, but somehow she could feel his pain. Her heart was telling her to do something, so she decided to approach him. She didn't know that this small decision would hugely change her fate…

"Hello, uh… why are you crying?" The pretty girl asked him softly.

The little boy gasped in surprise and then slowly looked up at the one who dared to approach him. He had not expected at all that someone would be kind enough to even pay him attention. The only ones who ever did that are just his grandmother who lived in Rukongai, his 'sister' who was too obsessed with her captain since she joined Gotei 13, an annoying shinigami woman who told him to enter this place, and… his only friend who just died. He felt really sad and guilty from his friend's dead because it was his entire fault, because his very own existence. Why was he born in the first place if his life only caused bad things? Why did the fate hate him so much?

The girl was drawn into a pair of brilliant turquoise orbs when their gazes met. They were beautiful… but held deep sorrow inside. She felt very sympathy for him, what had made such a cute little boy felt that much pains? She doubted it was just because of one reason. Maybe it was because of bottled up sadness from many unfortunate events that had happened in his life? She really wanted to help him but she didn't know what to do because he didn't even say anything. She began to feel awkward.

"Um… there's nothing wrong with crying. Sometimes we need to just let it out, but we also need to do something, so we don't have to cry again in the future." She was trying her best to comfort him.

The white-haired little boy looked at her in amazement. He had stopped crying, but his chubby cheeks were still wet from the tears. The black-haired girl noticed this, so she took her handkerchief from her pocket and then offered it to him. She felt more awkward when he just kept staring at her and didn't do anything else. Being the mature one, she took the next move. She gently brushed his cheeks with the handkerchief. The boy was like being paralyzed, he had never gotten this kind of attention from anyone other than his grandmother. After she finished, she took his right hand and then put her handkerchief in his palm. Somehow she hoped that he would keep it and remember her…

"I wish you good luck, bye!" She smiled at him before she left. Maybe for her it was just a sincere smile, but for him it was a beautiful miracle.

He would always remember the time when an angel came to save him from the deep of sorrow. That day was the day when he realized that there's something precious, something heavenly for him to live for. His heart would be forever frozen if he didn't let it burst and show his pain to the light. And for her, her heart would never find its guardian if she didn't decide to follow it...

That dream again… or maybe I should call it a memory. I always dream about it every night for the past few days. Actually, I'm somewhat enjoying it, it's a nice thing reminiscing about that treasured memory. But it also makes me even more miss you, it hurts. Five years, seven months, and twenty four days, that's how long time has passed since our farewell. I know you will keep your promise and I will also keep waiting for you even until eternity, but still… I really miss you.

It hurts even more because I've realized that I have been in love with you. Yes, I love you… so much. I'm not sure since when I posses this precious feelings inside my heart. Is it since the night you left me? Is it since I discovered your truth? Is it since you taught me how to draw? Is it since you saved me from broken heart? Is it since you forgave my horrible faults? Is it since you came to save us? Is it since I realized that I've badly misjudged you? Is it since I cried for you the first time you left? Is it since you fulfilled my silly wish? Or is it since… the start? The time I've been dreaming of recently. I'm the one to blame here, how could I not realize such strong feelings sooner…?

I know it's too late, but sometimes I imagine. What if I wasn't late to realize my own feelings? What if I confessed to you before you left me? Would you return my feelings? Would you decide to stay? I'm sure you wouldn't ignore me because you are a really good man, and somehow I got the feeling that you too feel the same about me... I know that would be too good to be true. I also understand if I really love you, I must let you fly high to pursue your destiny, because you are destined to be the brightest star. But I still want to know, wherever you are now… can you feel my heart?

I wish you would be back soon, not just because of my feelings. The situation is getting worrying since our worst enemy escaped from the prison yesterday. It was so sudden and mysterious, we didn't even notice it happening until he disappeared. We haven't decided the next move because somehow we can sense something really wrong and dangerous behind it. A new crisis will be unavoidable for sure, but I hope it wouldn't make our story even harder than what we've been already through…

I feel so awful and the hot summer weather makes it even worse. I left the window opened, so the night winds can come into my room, but it almost doesn't help at all. At least, there's a piece of you hanging on my chest, maybe I would pass out by now without it. Eh, why is it suddenly becomes so cold? It feels like winter now... I'll take a look outside. Impossible, there's no way it's happening! It's snowing… and now my tears are falling freely, just like those snows…

"You're back…"

Yes, The DiamondDust Revolution is complete, technically. I decided to end it here because, you know, it cannot be called a success. I understand there are not many people who like my story since it's not well written and not easy to accept. But it's also not easy to write, it's really hard for me to do something that is not worth my effort. I guess I'm not supposed to be an author after all, I'm not lucky enough, but it's okay. I'm a freak dreamer, so I'm just going to continue this story in my dream because I still love it and have a big vision for it.

Finally, thank you so much to you guys who like my story and have been following it till this far. I really appreciate it and I'm sorry if somehow I've disappointed you. And I also want to give very special thanks to Midori no yume, you have no idea how grateful and happy I am of your amazing support, but… sorry, I'm really sorry. Even though it'd be so unlikely… maybe if I could find new reasons and motivation, I would share my dreams with you again. Good bye!