Rumor has it

A/N: Clint Barton has a special way of being pissed (well…at least this older post-Avengers version of him – I think all his young boyish temper is burned out of him by the end of I dare you). Now he is older, more mature and understands reality a lot better.

And then he just breaks your heart.

MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER OF THIS STORY!

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Chapter 14

Natasha stiffly walked down the halls of SHIELD with her boots hitting the floor with a rhythmic sound as she clutched her cell phone in her hand. She knew she was walking towards her doom when she really should have been running in the opposite direction. But she wasn't a coward – at least not the type of coward that hid when she was challenged to a fight.

And he was definitely challenging her to win the biggest fight of their partnership. Natasha came to a slow stop in front of her own quarters on base and took a steady breath. She placed her hand on the scanner beside the entrance and watched as the screen steadily read her hand print. She couldn't see through the metal door – she wasn't a super.

But Clint Barton was sitting on her bed while burning a hole through her door with his 100 yard sniper gaze – she could feel it. When the green light on the pad flashed the door slid open and Natasha slipped into her quarters without a single glance back. The door shut behind her and they were basked in faint darkness save for the dull light coming in from her window. Natasha took a deep breath and finally looked up to lock eyes with the man who has been watching her back for over 10 years. He was silently sitting on the edge of her bed with his compacted bow resting in his hand and his mission duffle bag sitting on the ground beside his feet. He glanced down at his bow and gripped it tightly.

"Get your mission gear – we're leaving in a few minutes," he said quietly breaking the longstanding silence that permeated the room. Natasha shifted in place and unconsciously crossed her arms in a defensive manner.

"I thought you wanted to talk?" she asked carefully. Clint looked up and gave her an inscrutable look. Natasha tensed ever so slightly – he was righteously pissed at her. She could feel the cold supressed rage coming off of him in waves. Clint rarely got this angry at her.

Well she was screwed.

"Oh we're still going to talk," he said steadily. Even if his voice was deceptively calm his blue eyes stormed on and told a different story entirely. Natasha watched him with guarded eyes but he didn't say anything as he gestured towards her small SHIELD issued closet with her combat gear stored in it.

Natasha gave him one last searching look before she turned around and slowly crouched down on her knees to get her mission pack ready for departure. She had her back facing him – but that meant more in their world that a face to face to conversation ever would.

Because giving someone the opportunity to shoot you in the back but trusting them enough to believe that they never would was an honour very few ever received in their world. She packed her stuff as she waited for him to be the first to break the silence.

"We haven't been on the same page for the last few weeks Natasha," Clint started carefully. Natasha paused as she picked up her glock and stared at it intensely for a moment.

"I know," she said quietly as she placed the last weapon she planned on needing on this mission in her pack. She zipped the bag closed and slowly stood up without turning around.

"You want to tell me something?" he asked guardedly while burning a hole into her back. Natasha paused and then finally sighed.

"Not right this second Clint…," she said tiredly. However, when she turned around to face him she tensed when she found him standing no less than a foot behind her. When did he get that fast?

Clint stepped daringly into her personal space and Natasha inhaled a sharp breath as she stood still as a statue. She stared at him dead in the eye as he stopped an inch from her face and she felt strong archery enhanced arms snake around her waist and dragged her forward until she was pressed up against his strong frame. Natasha nearly laughed when she realized what he was doing.

He was hugging her. Natasha felt like laughing herself to tears. He still approached her like she was a dangerous wild animal that could never be tamed – not even after all these years.

Maybe she finally wanted to be tamed.

"Whatever is bothering you Natasha. Whatever is making you feel uncomfortable Tasha – you know you can tell me right? You know I'm your friend before anything else right?" Clint whispered earnestly as he held her tightly and buried his face her in her hair. Natasha paused as she felt her breath catch in her throat at the sincerity in his voice.

Barton was no innocent soldier who nearly died fighting for his country. He made mistakes and has a past that was nearly as dark as hers. His ledger was nearly as red as hers. His thoughts and nightmares were nearly as bad as hers. His sanity and humanity was nearly as torn and screwed up as hers.

But he was a good man. Maybe not a great one – but a good one.

"That's easy Barton. She makes me uncomfortable," she muttered darkly into the collar of his tactical suit. Clint pressed his forehead against her head and sighed.

"You and me both Tasha," he said quietly. Natasha stiffened and tightly gripped the edge of his uniform as she hid her eyes against his warm chest.

"We don't need her on this mission – we can do Intel ourselves Clint," she said angrily as she shook in his arms. Clint ran a soothing hand up and down her back and Natasha nearly melted on the spot. She missed him. She missed his hugs and his forever solid support. She missed her best friend in the middle of all the craziness of the past 2 weeks. She finally tore down some of the walls she felt she had to pull up between them since all this tension crap started and carefully wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged his back. She felt him catch his breath as he drew her closer and held her tighter against his solid frame.

"I know we can, but Fury put her on the team for a reason so we're going to have to deal with it. But cut the crap Tasha. That's not the only thing that is bothering you," he said carefully pulling back to be able to pin her with the full force of his stare.

"I...I'm just trying to fix some stuff right now...," she muttered hesitantly. Clint narrowed his eyes.

"Tasha…," he started sounding very seriously. Natasha breathed deeply and felt slightly lightheaded from being so close to him after so long. She never realized being infatuated with your partner would be this draining. It was exhausting to want someone but having to keep your distance even when you knew they wanted you back desperately.

Tell him or not to tell him?

Bang! Bang!

"Nat we're leaving in 5! Do you know where Barton is? He needs to start up the jet," a familiar voice shouted through the closed door. Clint felt her tense against him but she didn't pull away from his arms that were still tightly wrapped around her back and his fist buried in her shirt.

"Don't worry Steve I'll find him!" she called back without looking away from her partner's burning gaze. They both heard a noncommittal huff in response.

"Alright. Tell him to hurry up – before Fury kills Stark and Banner for the explosion they caused," Steve muttered before the two long term SHIELD agents both silently listened as the Cap's footsteps faded as he walked down the hall. Natasha tore her eyes away from his own and relocated her stare to his shoulder. She couldn't really look him in the eye right now. She felt him take a deep breath before he broke the silence again.

"You know you always had this rule of never mixing work and pleasure. You never gave any SHIELD agents a second glance. You have never been anything except professionally cold towards everyone you've ever worked with," Clint said quietly as he twirled her hair around his finger. Everyone except for me of course.

"Steve is not a SHIELD agent Clint," she mumbled halfheartedly – what was she supposed to say? Clint paused.

"Is that why you're dating him? Because he doesn't conflict with your rules?" he asked guardedly.

"There isn't always a reason for everything – at least not a good one," she muttered. Clint narrowed his eyes and firmly tilting her head up so that she was forced to look at him dead in the eye.

"I'm a lot more observant then you think Natasha. You're not madly in love with him nor do you look at him like he gets you hot under the collar. I even doubt if you're attracted to him at all. So now I'm left wondering what on earth you are doing with him Tasha," Clint said carefully. Natasha gave him a sharp look.

"You're not going to see anything while we're on base. I don't let feelings get in the way of my job Clint. I'm not going to treat him any differently while in the field. You're still my partner, he's still our team leader and we're going to do this mission flawlessly...or as flawlessly as all Avengers shit missions go," she muttered. Clint continued to stare at her with a hundred questions he would never ask swirling in his eyes.

"If you're dating him to make a statement Tasha - that's not fair to him," he said warningly. He knows she has broken a lot of hearts in the past and no matter what animosity he felt towards the Cap because of personal conflict of interest – he didn't want her to do that to him. Natasha had a rather terrible reputation with men.

"Steve knows exactly what type of relationship we have," Natasha grounded out. Clint paused.

"What type of relationship Natasha? What type of relationship?" Clint asked seriously. Natasha's eyes darkened.

"None of your business," she muttered as she finally pulled away from him. Clint had enough and his faster than possible hands shot out and wrapped around her wrists halting her attempt to walk away from him.

"So that's it huh? 10 years as partners and you won't even look at me in the eye anymore? You won't even acknowledge what we are Natasha? You won't even admit that we have more damn chemistry that half the agents in this base combined? That the way you look at me now is not the exact same way I've been looking at you for the last 10 years? Is this what you're trying to say Natasha?" Clint asked angrily. Natasha froze and felt her heart stop beating as his words hit her like a sucker punch in the gut.

"No! Clint I told you before-" she started to try and explain but he shook his head and cut her off.

"No. I understand why you turned me down all these years Natasha. I understand when we were younger and less skilled at our jobs that a relationship would have been a distraction that could have gotten us both killed. I understand you had a difficult time feeling anything and your head was filled with the desire to atone for your past. I understand Tasha," Clint said firmly as he held her arms tightly in his grasp. "But we're older now Tasha. We're stronger than we were before. We survived hundreds of missions together Tasha. We saved the world together Tasha. SHIELD regulations are a joke now. And the first thing you do after we get posted on a new team is start a relationship with a teammate you barely knew for 6 months," he said shaking his head tiredly. Natasha heard both their SHIELD phones ringing behind them and sighed. They couldn't do this right now.

"We're leaving on a mission in minutes Clint. Don't start this right now," Natasha said trying to pull away from him and lock down all her emotions to deal with later - but he didn't let go. He just gripped her arms tighter and stopped her dead in her place.

"Forget work for just a minute Natasha. Just a minute," he said firmly holding her prisoner in front of him even if he knew that if she had really wanted to leave he couldn't stop her. Natasha stared at him in a way that made him promptly continue.

"You told me a long time ago that I should stop waiting for something that is never going to happen – that's why I went for Bobbi. That was a disaster I'll admit, but I still tried to let you go and look where that landed me!" he said irritably. Natasha shook head as she felt her heart ache for his broken one.

"I'm sorry she broke your heart Clint. I didn't know. She was the last person you should have been in a relationship with," Natasha said rubbing her temples in frustration. She let it happen even when she had the worst feeling in the world about it – but she had thought it was because of her own stupid feelings she didn't want to think about back then. Clint took a steady breath as he watched her beat herself over about his own relationship failure.

"I don't think either of us knew how that one was going to end," he said with a dark chuckle. Natasha shook her head.

"We need to go," she muttered as she tried to pull away again but he just held on tighter. He had more to say. She needed to finally hear him say the things he wanted to say to her for years.

"But you know what Tasha? You told me to let you go. You told me to stop waiting - but I never stopped waiting. I never stopped waiting for the day when you would finally let yourself want me back Tasha," he said earnestly. Natasha froze.

"Clint-" Clint angrily shook his head - he wasn't done.

"You don't look at him like you look at me Natasha. You two look like awkward cousins trying to play house and it's driving me crazy Natasha! Why the hell are you messing around with him?" he shouted furiously. Natasha tensed.

"I'm not hurting him!" she growled. Clint stared at her in disbelief.

"Yea you are! Did you actually sleep with him Natasha? We all knew he was a virgin which meant he had no fucking clue what he was doing if you did. Did you?" he growled as he shook her back and forth. Natasha remained stubbornly silent - she refused to answer questions that were yelled at her. Clint narrowed his eyes.

"Did you kiss him Natasha? Have you actually done any of the shit Tony was spewing last week at all?" he demanded. Natasha gritted her teeth.

"Yes but-" she tried to tell him to shut up and let her explain some shit but he was too caught up with the things he hasn't been able to say before because she had never let him.

"Did you like it Tasha? Is an innocent inexperienced boy really what you want? Because I think that is bullshit. Was it the same as kissing me? Would he make you forgot you are on an assignment if he kissed you during a cover operation Tasha? Does he make you lose focus of the world around you Tasha? Does he leave you breathless like you know I do Tasha? Does he?" he growled with clear jealousy flashing in his eyes like he never let her see before. Natasha could barely breathe right now.

"That's not your-" she started to protest but his eyes flashed in rage.

"Oh trust me you're well past my business Natasha Romanoff. You ruined me for all other women and you know it Tasha. And something tells me I ruined you for all men too," Clint said daringly. Natasha's eyes flashed in anger even as her heart skipped a beat. It was like a war between the girl who grew up believing she needed no one and the girl who wanted to be needed by Clint Barton.

"That's not true!" she growled. She might accept that she wanted him but her feelings didn't control her. They didn't control who she was damn it. Clint furiously shook his head.

"You know the only reason you didn't let us be what we could have been was because you were scared Natasha! You're so fucking scared to feel anything too deep because then you lose your god damn control! It's always about control with you!" he said angrily griping her arms in his steel like grasp. Natasha's eyes hardened.

"What is wrong with wanting to control my lif-" she started to growl but the next thing she knew she was being dragged forward and had rough distantly familiar lips crashing down on hers and silencing her pathetic denial. Natasha froze as she instantly got overwhelmed by the sudden intense attack on her senses and her brain short circuited as she realized what was happening.

Holy shit she was kissing Clint Barton her partner of 10 god damn years.

Natasha tried to frantically mumble something against his heated lips but he just firmly wrapped his arms around her waist and did something unexpected with his tongue that had her go slack and melt into his kiss as he poured every pent up emotion he ever felt towards her into this one intense moment. Natasha couldn't even keep her eyes open as she involuntarily moaned in pleasure and felt him walk them backwards until her back hit the wall. She'd be lying if she said she didn't dream about him doing exactly what he was doing right now. She'd be lying if she didn't say she wanted him to do it again and again and again.

She was just one big damn liar at the end of the day.

Natasha heard their SHIELD phones ringing obnoxiously in the background hazy half aware part of her mind that wasn't caught up in the fact that she was pressed up against the cold wall of her own SHIELD assigned quarters with one of her partner's hands buried in her hair and the other hand dangerously inching up the back of her shirt. She unconsciously wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer and tilted his head to the side to deepen their kiss.

While Natasha was just coming along with the intense ride Clint was just honestly about to lose his mind as years and years of suppressed desire coursed through his veins as he roughly shoved her harder against the wall and felt her wrap her long deadly legs around his waist. He felt the heat of her body wrap about him as well and he nearly would have dropped her altogether if he didn't brace his arms against the wall on either side of her head and kiss her harder and with more intensity then he has ever kissed any other woman in his life.

Natasha wasn't a perfect woman – not by a long shot. She had scars all over her body from years of working the field doing just as many dangerous jobs as he has. She has major bad habits that sometimes granted on his nerves like no tomorrow. She was sarcastic to a fault and made horrible personal decisions - but she was exactly what he wanted.

She was the only thing he wanted. She had always been the one thing he wanted more than anything else and could just never have because she didn't want him back. He didn't know what changed her mind and in this particular moment he didn't care - but he would definitely care later.

Right now he was too busy trying to come to terms with the fact that he was kissing Natasha Romanoff - and she wasn't stopping him.

He wanted this for a damn long time. He wanted her for a damn long time. He was reeling from the feeling of having her in his arms and having her actually kissing him back. Natasha had never accepted his advances in the past. She always stopped things before they even got started. She has rebuked him again and again and again. She drove him crazy. Working with her as her partner, being her friend and nothing more, watching her seduce marks while he watched her back from the shadows - it was like his own personal torment in hell. The only times he has ever been allowed to kiss her was during missions when other people were watching them too carefully.

The sad truth was that he has never kissed her while it was just the two of them alone without a million important plays banking on their performance. Right now wasn't a mission necessitated performance. Right now wasn't an act. The way she desperately pulled him closer was definitely not an act and Clint felt like crying in relief because he was so damn glad he hadn't been completely wrong as to believe that his cold stubborn Russian partner actually felt something for him too.

Because if she didn't feel something she wouldn't stare at him like he was the only man she could see even when they were in a crowd of people. If she didn't feel something she wouldn't jump in front of bullets for him in missions gone south all over the world. If she didn't feel something she wouldn't bring together a damn team of messed up superheroes to bring him back from the brick of insanity. If she didn't feel something she wouldn't throw herself into a world of magic, aliens, superheroes, or into a war that was not their fight. If Natasha Romanoff didn't feel something for him she wouldn't be here right now letting him kiss the breath right out of her lungs like he was burning to do for years.

When the need for oxygen reared its ugly head at the back of his mind Clint momentarily debated on ignoring it and just kissing her until he literally ran out of breath and passed out. But he didn't think she would appreciate having to explain why and how exactly she managed to make her partner fall unconscious so he reluctantly pulled away from her dangerously addicting lips and simply attacked the side of her neck with the same intensity he bestowed upon her lips.

If he felt some twisted dark male satisfaction when she gasped as he lightly bit her exposed part of her shoulder he would never tell her unless he wanted to be stabbed. He wanted to mark her. He wanted to tell the whole damn world that she was his. Since the day he lowered his bow and offered her the chance at redemption Clint Barton has always owned a part of Natasha Romanoff's soul.

But he was a selfish, selfish man and he wanted all of her. He had always wanted all of her. She just refused him over and over again. But he was rapidly starting to lose his legendry patience. How much patience did he need? How many more years did he have to wait? He was nearly bankrupt and fresh out of patience. He needed to know that she wanted him too – he needed to know soon. Because if he grabbed onto her now he was never going to let her go. Never. She would be stuck with him forever.

"Tasha," he whispered fervently against her neck as he held her tighter as he left a trail of hot wet kisses down her neck.

And that was like a bucket of cold ice water. Natasha instantly froze because she still hasn't told him Steve was a lie and that would piss him off all over again. Clint immediately misinterpreted her stiffening and promptly pulled away while inhaling a deep ragged breath.

They had just crossed a massive, massive line in their partnership and it wasn't without external complications.

"Shit! I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't kiss you while you're still with him," he muttered darkly while trying to catch his harsh breath. Natasha breathed heavily and shook her head. What the hell was he saying? She couldn't think straight with him doing things like that. He made her completely lose focus on what's going on around her.

"What? No Clint it's not-ugh!" she growled as she tried to get the words right in her head. Why couldn't she just play a character and say her lines flawlessly? Why couldn't she just use the Widow's confidence to get through this? She had her own answer.

Because anything fake would instantly shut him down - but Natasha Romanoff was just not good at this honesty crap.

Honestly - honesty was overrated.

Clint rubbed his hands over his face and took a tired breath.

"Do you like me Natasha? Or are you going to try and lie and tell me that kiss just now meant shit? Because I think we both know any crap you try to say after that is just pathetic lies," Clint said firmly. No one has ever kissed him like that. And he has seen her kiss hundreds of marks and she never kissed one like she just kissed him right now. That was not a petty kiss. That was her kissing him back with all she was worth. Natasha opened and closed her mouth trying to calm her racing thoughts and looking like a woman who has been through, through kissed.

"Clint. That was - this is- can we talk about this while I'm not shoved up against a wall with my legs wrapped around your damn waist please?" she asked irritably gesturing towards their highly provocative position. Clint narrowed his eyes.

"No. Because if I put you down you'll just run away," he said tightening his grip on her thighs and firmly pressing her into the wall. Natasha inhaled a sharp breath as she felt every part of his firm chest pressed up against her own and it was driving her hormones crazy.

"It's kind of impossible to hold a god damn conversation when your distracting chest in the way!" she growled without exactly thinking her words through first. Clint blinked.

"You think my chest is distracting?" he asked in amusement. Natasha sputtered in disbelief.

"Stop it! We need to deal with this crap and you need to put me down right now," she said threateningly. Clint watched her fume in place with a wary look. She honestly looked like she really didn't want to be here. Clint sighed.

"Sometimes you really give me messed up mixed signals Natasha. You look at me sometimes like you want nothing more than to drag me in a closet and have your way with me - but then you went and did that with Rogers so I chalk it up to our normal chemistry that's always been there," Clint said tiredly running a hand through his messy brown hair. "And I lie to myself. I tell myself that there's no point in feeling something for your partner Clint - because she'll never want you back. But then your eyes soften Natasha and that's when I know it's not just physical attraction! I know it. You know it. We both know it damn it. You kiss me like you're echoing everything I have ever felt for you Natasha and yet you're still with him!" he shouted as he slammed both his hands against the wall on either side of her face - nearly causing her to have a heart attack as he pressed her harder against the wall. She was going to die from his proximity alone. Just mentally burst into flames.

"I know! I'm trying to fix this shit but we don't have time right now. It's stupid and complicated Clint," she said angrily. Clint firmly shook his head.

"No it's not Tasha. You just make your own life complicated," he said tiredly. She always makes her life more complicated than it has to be.

"I don't know what you want me to do damn it!" Natasha said angrily running her hand through her short hair. Clint gave her a wary look.

"Just... just figure out what you really want Natasha. You can lie to yourself about Steve all you want Tasha– but you don't want him. I'll back off it's not me either," he said softly brushing the back of his hand against her cheek. Natasha stared at him with a hundred things she wanted to say – but not enough courage to say them.

"Clint…," she said painfully. Clint gave her a weak smile that nearly broke her cold Russian heart.

"You're beautiful Natasha. You are an amazing fighter and an ingenious agent. You are one of the best assassins in the world. You've made hundreds of men fall for you in the past and I know a hundred more will fall for you in the future. I guess it's my fault for falling for a woman I know only leaves broken bones and broken hearts in her wake," he said softly rubbing his thumb against her cheek.

Natasha shook her head while staring at him with words she didn't have lodged in her throat. She has never felt closer to crying then she did right now. She thinks she finally understands what damn heart break feels like – she's seen in on enough faces to know it was on her face right now. She froze as he leaned forward and ran his rough hand through her short red hair. She involuntarily closed her eyes as she felt his warm lips brush against her cheek.

"See you on the jet Tasha – partners forever remember?" he whispered against her cheek before he finally pulled back away from the wall, dropped her to her feet and silently slipped out of her room.

Partners forever.

Natasha stood there for several minutes trying to understand what on earth she just let happen. She took two steps back and hit the wall again before she slid down to the floor while trying to keep breathing even when she felt like she forgot how.

She needed this mission to be over fast.

"I want you Clint. I've always wanted you," she whispered into her knees. She buried her head in her arms and took a shaky breath. She didn't want to be the damn heartbreaker anymore. She didn't want hundreds of men falling in love with her anymore. She didn't want to be a world class seductress anymore.

She wanted to be the girl he wanted. She wanted to be someone agent Barton actually deserved.

She wasn't that someone right now.

She's made a lot of mistakes in her life. She's has regretted a lot of things in her past. She wasn't going to make letting him go the biggest regret of her life.

Natasha banged her head back against the wall she just had her breath kissed right out of her against and stared at the ceiling in disbelief.

She needed to break up with Steve and she needed to tell Barton the damn truth - it was just humiliating to tell him it was all a ruse to begin with. Why did she even do it in the first place?

She needed to get a time machine and kick her own ass.

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A/N: Mission start time! Woo! OMG - finally a Clintasha kiss in this story eh?

Clintasha heartbreak!

He doesn't know Steve is a lie. He just knew she doesn't actually like Steve. Clint always knew Natasha had feelings for him – she just refused to act on them because of their jobs. This was their first non-mission related kiss.

Round 14

Clint knows she doesn't like Steve - Natasha 1: Evil 0

FIRST CLINTASHA KISS – Natasha 10 : Evil 0 (LOL BIG POINTS)

Natasha is finally got to fix this mess - Natasha 1: Evil 0

Total: Evil get out of here!

1st - Natasha - 27

2nd - Evil – 17

3rd - Steve – 14

A/N: Damn it took a long time in the story to have their "first kiss". The ANGST got in the way!

Exams are coming so my next update will be around the end of June.

Was this chapter worth the wait?