A new AkuRoku for you guys, this is the story of me and my ex, with a few embellishments. There is no happy ending to this story, so if you don't like that, don't read.

Here's a few chappies to hold you off until The Original can be updated.

Chapter 1: What Have I Done?

If there was one thing I could change, it would be how we ended. I was wrong. I was selfish. But now, worst of all, I am alone.

As I sit here and stare at the wall, I wonder what I could've done to make things end differently. The worst part is, I know exactly how. If I had truly loved you, I would've been there for you even when you broke my heart. It wasn't the first time it happened, but I abandoned you when you needed me most. God, I'm such a dick. I know it now and I knew it then. So why? Why did I let my life get this way?

I'll tell you why. I like the pain. That's why I cut, that's why I burn myself, that's why I tried to overdose, right? There's nothing wrong with that, right? I mean plenty of people do it. I just want the attention. I'm no masochist, but I know that somewhere deep in my mind, I love the torture I put myself through. Why else would I do it?

Ok, maybe I'm just going insane. I really don't know anymore. Maybe I'm just beating myself up for nothing. Maybe we just weren't meant to be. Maybe, just maybe, I really am sick in the head and this isn't just all coincidence.

I betrayed my best friend, the one I had claimed to love for over a year now.

*February*

I looked across the room, trying to determine what it was about the new kid that seemed...off. I leaned across and asked Demyx, "Is that a guy or a girl?" It was a mean thing to ask, but I really couldn't tell.

He laughed. "I really don't know," He, or she, was wearing a baggy shirt, and had a somewhat feminine face, so you couldn't really tell.

I sighed. I really shouldn't judge people. I mean, someone I knew to be a transgender ended up being a really good friend. Maybe I'll like her...or him.

One week later

"Hey, my name is Roxas," said the new kid, he was sitting next to me in music class. I had finally determined that it was a guy.

"Hi, umm...name's Axel. Got it memorized?" That was my signature catch phrase. I gave him an awkward sideways glance.

"Umm...sure." he scratched his head and kind of stared straight ahead.

I didn't know what else to say, so I just kind of ignored him. I felt rude, but I didn't want to be all awkward and stuff. I mean, not even a week ago I couldn't even tell he was a guy. I felt so bad for that.

We didn't talk for a while after that...

*April*

One night we were out late on a school field trip, and that was the first time I really talked to him.

I mean, it wasn't even really that we talked, but that was my first real memory. We were all sitting on a bean bag chair, talking and messing around and singing songs...horribly out of tune, might I add.

We were just laughing and hanging out, and I thought to myself, See, what were you thinking? Don't judge! He's perfectly fine. He's pretty cool and really funny and you know...kinda cute. But young...and probably straight. But that doesn't mean we can't be friends...right?

I just went on talking and laughing with our little group.

For the next few weeks, I sort of followed him around. I was liking him more and more each moment I spent with him. But the problem was...I didn't know anything about him. Favorite color, sexuality, if he was dating anyone...hell, I didn't even know his last name! But damn, he was cute.

He seemed kinda flirty with everyone...so maybe he is dating someone? I don't know. So what did I do? I hired my best friend to find out all the dirty details.

"Demyx, hey you know that kid Roxas, right?" It was a dumb question. Of course he knew him, we all sat next to each other.

"Yeah, the one in our music class. Of course," he said while giving me a dumbfounded look.

"Well, I," I scratched my head and shifted on my feet, "I kinda like him, and I was wondering if you could ask him a few questions."

"Oooh! Axy has a crush!" he sang out, clapping his hands and jumping up and down like a little kid hopped up on sugar.

"Shhh, shut up!" I looked around, making sure Roxas wasn't nearby. I think I'd die if he heard me.

Demyx suddenly got serious, "So, let's get down to business. What exactly do you want me to find out?"

"Well...first of all, I want to know if he's straight or not. Then we can dig a little deeper."

He pretended to scribble down the notes in his imaginary notebook. That kid sometimes, went a little overboard. "Aye aye, captain!"

He marched off to go talk to Roxas. I suddenly got really nervous, and then I sat down with my other friends with my back to him. I didn't want to catch any awkward eye contact and start blushing like a fool in front of everyone.

I couldn't concentrate on the conversation going on around me, I kept peeking over my shoulder every few seconds like I had a nervous tic or something.

Surprisingly, Roxas wasn't looking over here at all. He and Demyx were having a really animated conversation about God knows what. They both started laughing and I jumped when something hit me in the head.

I looked around in a panic, and saw the culprit laying on the ground. Someone had thrown a paper airplane at my head.

"Paranoid much?" Marluxia said as he sat down, backwards, on the empty chair next to mine.

"No, just...on a different planet." I said slowly, watching Roxas and Demyx converse in my peripheral vision.

"I can tell," he picked up the paper airplane and went back to sit with the rest of the group.

The bell rang and Demyx waited up for me.

"So...?" I asked.

"Nothing yet. These things take time. Don't worry, my friend. I won't let you down." he patted me on the shoulder and ran ahead to catch up with Zexion, who had the class next door. "Hey, Zex!"

I kept walking slowly, in my own world, when I ran into some little freshman standing in the hall. I normally would've screamed at him for getting in my way, but I absent-mindedly apologized and walked into my English class without any further distractions.