"It was Catwoman," said Harley, firmly. "Well, Catwoman and Robin and Batgirl, actually. Bats was innocent this time, although he did throw me to the ground."

The psychiatrist looked at her. "Harley, I think we've been over this. I know you may blame others for your injuries, but the truth is they were inflicted by the man you love…"

"They sure as hell weren't!" shouted Harley. "Stop saying that! I'd love it if they were from Mr. J! I'd think of each bruise as a diamond! These are from freaks who had no right to touch me! Don't I get any kinda compensation from being randomly beaten up by weirdos? Because it ain't right! The world's a pretty messed up place if people just let crap like this go on and don't do nothing about it!"

"You're the only one who can stop this cycle of violence, Harley," replied the psychiatrist. "You have to stand up to your abuser and say you're not taking it anymore, and then be firm. Don't go back to him."

"It…wasn't…Mr…J!" hissed Harley, enunciating every word.

"You may not see it as him," she agreed, nodding. "But as I've explained, your subconscious mind is so enslaved to him that it manifests a delusion…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, whatever," interrupted Harley. "Can I go now?"

"Our time is almost up, but I'd like to check up on you again next week…"

"Yep, sure, Doc, see you then," said Harley, standing up and striding from the room. She made her way back to her cell, wincing, and was surprised to find a bouquet of flowers there, with a note attached reading Feel better soon – Batman.

"The dumb jerk," snapped Harley. "He thinks flowers are just gonna forgive everything, does he?"

She went over to the mirror and angrily began brushing her hair, but her eyes slid back over to the flowers. "Still, it's a pretty bouquet," she murmured to herself. "Nice of him to take the trouble, really."

"Harley!" shouted a voice. The door to the cell opened and Joker entered. He too was covered in casts and bandages, and winced as he walked. "I've been calling you for the past ten minutes, you dumb…"

He paused, eyes narrowing when he noticed the flowers. "What the hell are those?" he demanded.

"Flowers," she replied. "From Bats."

"What's Bats doing sending my girlfriend flowers?" demanded Joker. "I don't send flowers to his Kitty."

"Aw, puddin', don't be jealous," said Harley, hugging him gently. "Anyway, maybe you should send Selina some flowers. You did beat her and try to kill her, after all, and the tasering can't have been pleasant."

"It sure as hell wasn't," muttered Joker. "But you're right, pooh, maybe I'll send her a nice bouquet scented with Joker toxin. Just as soon as we bust outta this dump."

"Might be a good idea to wait until we're healed," replied Harley. "I'm not sure I could take the guards in this condition."

"Yeah, you and me both, baby," he sighed, sitting down on her bed. "Well, as temporary arrangements go, it's not so bad. And tonight's taco night in the cafeteria."

"Aw, you just love your Mexican food, don't ya, puddin'?" sighed Harley, sitting down next to him and snuggling against his shoulder.

"Oh, sure, it tastes fine," he replied. "I mostly like the way you can snap off bits of the taco so the edges are serrated and then use it as a weapon, though. Might try to give Pammie a few cuts – should be a laugh."

Harley beamed at him. Using food as a weapon – only her special puddin' would think of that. She kissed him tenderly and then cuddled him gently. "Y'know, puddin', I know being stuck in this joint ain't ideal, but I sure as heck don't mind being here when you are. As long as we're together, anywhere is perfect, even this dump. I just need my bad guy with me, and I'm in heaven."

Joker grinned at her, then knocked the vase of flowers on the ground, shattering it. He held out his arms. Harley squeaked in happiness and buried herself in them. "There's only one bad guy for you, baby," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "I guess Bats will just have to stay a hero."

The End