A/N: I find it odd that the first story I'm going to post about Thor and Loki is going to take place in Midgardian AU, since I'm a sucker for mythology and have some mythological stories about those two sketched out. But in this particular case it has to be an AU, because I have an intention to scare you a little. Things that can happen in the world where you live usually look much scarier than any fantasy world, at least that's how I imagine it.
Please, try to keep in mind that English is quite far from being my first language (to put it lightly), so you will, most likely, find some grammatical mistakes, because the story is not going to be betaed. I hope you're going to bear with me and enjoy reading it, anyway. And if the story is going to scare you at some point, just a little, it'll be my pleasure.
This is going to be a long story (about 12-15 chapters) and I'm planning to update at least once a week.
Now, it's time to begin:

Summary: Loki suffers from achluophobia, i.e. fear of the dark. Thor is very caring and protective of him, but no one can foresee everything that might happen, especially when someone behind your back plots against your brother and decides to 'fight fire with fire'. Things turn into an unimaginable nightmare and you start questioning your own sanity. But not your love.

Warnings: Non-con, Torture, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tragedy, Horror, Mystery. You've been warned.

Edit 29 Jan 2013: Apparently, not everyone is capable of taking my warnings seriously, the warnings that have been here from the start; both above this particular message and in the summary, because, it's incredible (!), but, despite all my warnings, some people, who have their own personal issues, stubbornly read this story anyway and then send me their shocked messages. I'm not going to apologise for anything; I have nothing to be sorry for, and I don't care about offended people who complain about their own problems and try to dictate me how to write my stories without violence in them.

Edit 29 Jan 2013: My dear reader Silver Jackie was so nice as to draw a great picture to this story! I'm very flattered and I think everyone should see it, at least after reading chapter-4, if you don't want any spoilers at all. :)

oh-sad-little-sparrow tumblr com /post/ 41212007874/ gift-for-evilconcubine-for-his-wonderful

You know what to do. If not, the link is in my profile, at the very end.

Something That Could Never Be Replaced

~oOo~

1. The Heart's Choice

~oOo~

"Happy birthday, Sif!" Hulda, Sif's cousin cheered. Everyone cheered after her and raised their glasses to Sif's nineteenth birthday. They were drinking champagne under the watchful eye of Sif's father. Most of the young guests were legally adults, but most of them also weren't twenty years old yet to drink without a trouble; and since Gunnar was not only a strict single father of his daughter, a young woman now, but also a zealous policeman, he maintained order even during the party, making sure the young people were behaving (which meant the smallest amount of drinking). As he was watching all of them, some already felt like they were criminals, without doing anything wrong. One of the guests decided to never mention the bottle of Brennivín* in his bag and leave it there for his own good. Sif was frowning at her strict parent now and then for making her guests feel uncomfortable, but there was also a strong affection in her eyes, at the same time, so the effect was ruined.

Thor wasn't interested in drinking, anyway. He was to drive home today and he was too much into sport; a lifestyle, which rarely went well with alcohol. But the food was amazing and he enjoyed the party and the company of friends. Suddenly his mobile phone started vibrating in his pocket and the loud piano classical music attracted everybody's attention. By this music Thor knew who exactly was ringing him, so he couldn't just shut the call down.

"Sorry, it's mine," Thor smiled and answered the call, getting out of the lavish table. Everybody returned to their conversations as Thor approached a window absentmindedly. It was getting late.

"Hi, Loki," Thor greeted his younger brother cheerfully.

"Thor... When are you going to get home?" the slightly nervous voice enquired.

"In a few hours. What is it?" the older brother asked suspiciously.

"N-nothing. See you then."

"What happened?" Thor asked insistently. Something wasn't right; it was obvious. He heard Loki sighing.

"The electricity has gone out. I'm outside right now," he answered after a short pause.

"I see... I'm on my way then."

"No! Don't. I can wait. I'll go for a walk."

"I'm pretty sure you're not wearing a coat right now and haven't got any money with you to go to a café. You're going to get cold. It's okay; you know I'm only thirty minutes away from you," Thor assured, imagining that Loki had run out of the house at breakneck speed, too panicked to get dressed or take his wallet. It was surprising enough that he had his phone with him, though he'd, most likely, had it with him when the light had gone off.

"Thank you, Thor," Loki said quietly after another pause, obviously ashamed

"It's all right, brother. I'll be there soon," the older of the two smiled and finished the call.

He approached Sif and excused himself quietly, promising to come back later. She asked if he needed any help, but he refused, and left as quickly as it was polite, but quickly enough to not make Loki wait for him longer than necessary.

"What is it? Where has Odinson gone?" one of the guests asked.

"Home. He'll be back soon. His brother rang and said that the light in their house had gone out," Sif shrugged.

"And?" the other young man lifted his eyebrow.

"I've heard Loki is afraid of the dark," one of Sif's classmates explained. "Some phobia... What does it call?" he frowned pensively.

"Achluophobia. It's called achluophobia," Hulda replied.

"Right..."

"But... How old is he? He's fifteen; almost sixteen, isn't he? Pfft... A little too old for imagining monsters in dark corners."

"Arnar, you're eighteen and you watch cartoons that my nine years old niece consider childish; and you also brag about your huge collection of dolls... oh, sorry, action figures," Sif pointed out. The young man rolled his eyes and the other guests either chuckled, or smiled at Sif's remark.

~oOo~

Loki slightly rubbed his own shoulders, feeling that he was really starting to get cold. He was barefoot and he was only wearing black trousers and two plain t-shirts: the dark-green, short-sleeved one over the black long-sleeved one. Not nearly enough for October, so his lean body was shaking slightly. But a severest cold wouldn't have made him return home right now. He looked at his family house, quite a decent one, both outside and inside, one of the most beautiful in this part of the town; but no warmth or comfort of home would've lured him inside, into the darkness. The windows looked back at him like ominous black holes, and Loki looked away from them in frustration.

When he saw the dark-red car from the corner of his eye, he sighed in relief. It had only taken Thor twenty minutes to get home, instead of promised thirty. He had obviously driven faster than traffic rules allowed.

Thor quickly got out of the car, as soon as it had stopped, and approached his younger brother, whose lips were already purplish from cold, his nose and cheeks slightly pink. He was breathing out steam, embracing his own shaking body with both arms. It was too cold even for someone like Loki, who mostly felt comfortable when the weather was colder than most people found pleasant. His feet were bare and his light clothes were not much better than having no clothes at all in such weather conditions. Thor pressed Loki's thin, shaking body against his own, warm and muscular one, wrapping his arms around the younger brother, who immediately started relaxing, feeling warmer and safer.

"Are you all right?" Thor asked. He felt a nod against his shoulder and let go of the smaller body. He took off his warm coat and wrapped it around Loki. "Get in the car. I'll see what I can do about electricity," he said thoughtfully, looking at their dark, powerless house.

"Fine," Loki nodded and headed to the car.

"Why are you limping? Are you hurt?" Thor asked with concern, noticing that his sibling was lame in the left leg. Loki stopped and sighed, turning to him.

"It's nothing. I hurt my ankle a little when I was getting out of the window," Loki replied and resumed limping to the car. 'Of course...' Thor thought sadly; Loki would've rather broken all his limbs, jumping out of the window of his room, than ran downstairs to the entrance door through the darkness that scared him so much.

The older brother used his keys to enter the house and went to the basement to fix the electrical failure if possible. He used the display of his mobile phone to illuminate his way, and, once he was down in the basement, he quickly located the electric torch hanging on the wall near the door.

The problem was trivial, caused by the overload, most definitely, which had tripped the master breaker. Thor reset it easily, and the lights in Loki's rooms were on once again, as well as everywhere where it had been turned on before the electricity had gone out.

~oOo~

Meanwhile, Loki was sitting in the driver's seat of Thor's car. The coat and the seat still kept Thor's warmth, and Loki was relaxing into it, not to mention the heater that was blowing out warm air. Feeling safe and getting warm, he thanked the heavens for having Thor as a brother and a closest friend he'd ever had (the warmth was making him a little too sentimental for his taste). Thor never shamed Loki for his embarrassing phobia, never made him feel like a coward and a freak, never made fun of him, never insisted on getting professional help when Loki had made it clear that he didn't want any after having two failed attempts to fix the problem with a help of doctors. No one understood Loki better than Thor, who was protective of him, even though they weren't blood brothers.

Frigga couldn't have any more children after Thor, but she desperately wanted to have one more child. When all other options had failed, they had nothing else left to do but adopt a child. Together with six years old Thor they came to the orphanage, already knowing whom they were going to adopt. There was a tiny baby girl, almost one year old, but they had never really seen her before, only had her photographs and information about her sent by post; and most details about her adoption had been discussed on the phone. Now they only needed to see her and make a final decision, though Frigga seemed to have already decided that she wanted this child to be a part of her family. Odin was only doing it for her, convinced that one child was quite enough for them; after all, they already hadn't been quite young when they'd had Thor.

While they were waiting for a nurse to come back and bring them the baby girl, Thor wasn't very interested in what was going on and couldn't sit still, so he went outside to the playground, full of little children. No one paid him much attention and he was trying to decide if he waned to join any game or just to watch. Suddenly he spotted the little boy trying to get on one of the swings, but was too small to do it without help. The adults who were looking after the children didn't seem to notice, so Thor decided to help and approached the smaller boy. He lifted the little one up and helped him to make himself comfortable on the swing. The dark-haired boy was looking back at him curiously with his green eyes and then gave him a tiny smile when Thor started swinging him back and forth gently, making sure the tiny hands of the smaller boy were holding fast onto the ropes.

"Just be careful," one of the adults smiled at the blond boy as she approached them to make sure the younger of the two wasn't going to fall.

"I'm careful," Thor assured her. The woman smiled again and left them alone. "I'm Thor. What's your name?" the older boy asked.

"Fow?" the smaller child asked quietly and uncertainly.

"Thor," the blond corrected, pronouncing his name distinctly.

"Fow," the smaller one nodded, making Thor laugh kind-heartedly.

"And you?"

"Loki," the dark-haired child replied.

"How old are you?" Thor enquired. The younger boy let go of one of the ropes, raised his hand and showed three little fingers.

Loki was too little to memorise this day vividly enough, but he would be able to remember how Thor, after swinging him some more, stopped and took him off the swing. When Loki was standing on his feet as firmly as his age allowed him to, Thor took his little hand in his and went to the building, making the smaller boy follow, which Loki did without any protests.

"Where are you taking him?" one of the adults on the playground asked, smiling at them.

"Home!" Thor replied cheekily and started walking even faster, as if expecting to be stopped from literally abducting the smaller child, who didn't seem to mind though.

When inside the building they reached Thor's parents that were busy, looking at the cooing baby girl in Frigga's arms, Loki suddenly became very shy, but Thor was pulling him forward persistently. When they were only a few steps away from Thor's parents, they stopped, and Frigga noticed them.

"Oh, Thor, look at her, she's so beautiful," his mother smiled, showing him the baby, whose little face was smiling happily after all Frigga's cooing and slight tickling of the girls little body, dressed in an orange, cotton sleepsuit.

"I don't like her," Thor frowned, hardly even casting a glance at the baby girl. "I want to take him home," he said, gently pushing Loki forward. The little boy was looking down shyly with his forefinger in his mouth, not daring to look up at the lady with such a kind voice and carefully arranged honey blond hair.

"Thor..." Odin started, obviously wanting to explain why it was a bad idea and talk Thor out of it, deciding that it was just another whim of his son, which it was. They already had most adoption papers signed, and they had originally planned to take a baby, not a child who wasn't even really a toddler any longer. Thor opened his mouth to interrupt, but Frigga stopped both of them with a gesture of her hand, seeing that they were making the dark-haired boy really uncomfortable. She slowly lowered herself onto one knee and tried to look at the face of the shy child, but he was still looking down.

"What's your name?" Frigga asked gently. He quietly answered her question, still with a finger in his mouth, so it was very hard to make out what he'd said, but she managed to do it. "Loki?" she asked. He nodded. For a couple of seconds he lifted his eyes and looked back at her before looking down again. "You have very beautiful eyes, Loki," she smiled, and he couldn't help but smile, too. She looked at her son and husband, making it clear that they needed to talk.

When they were leaving, the brilliant green eyes were following them, and Thor was turning his face every now and then to look back at the smaller boy, obviously not wishing to leave Loki behind.

They came back less than one month later and Loki quickly recognised them, especially Thor, who was smiling at him happily all the time, his blue eyes were shining with joy, like clear blue diamonds, his freckles bright. He'd got his own way (as always).

The next thing Loki was aware of was Frigga picking him up, pressing him against her chest, and then he was put into the back seat of a car. Every time he looked at Thor uncertainly, he was getting a comforting glance of the blue eyes.

And so the orphanage was left behind forever. Loki had a family now.

Thor had chosen him. Thor.

When Frigga asked Thor why he had chosen Loki and not anyone else, he only shrugged and said that he liked Loki as soon as he had seen him for the first time, and wanted the little boy to be theirs; plain and simple. He said that Loki should be only his and no one else's; therefore he couldn't let anyone else take Loki home with them, in case there would be someone willing to do it. Frigga smiled, and would smile many more times, at Thor's possessiveness over his, now officially his, little brother. She had secretly hoped to hear that Thor had pitied the little boy and wanted that little boy to have a family, but, no, Thor's words had been much more selfish. It was both hilarious and, at the same time, indicated that Odin and she had spoilt their older son immensely. Since she had given birth to him when she already hadn't been quite young, and there had been so many futile attempts for her to get pregnant, so Thor was a long-awaited child, he was pampered, sometimes beyond reason, as she could honestly admit, and going shopping with him almost always got him what his index finger was pointing at. Both Frigga and Odin were guilty of that. So now she found it rather amusing that the way Thor had chosen Loki was pretty similar to that. But she knew that, despite being spoilt, Thor was a good boy, caring and protective, so she didn't worry about the new child in their family.

Very soon Loki's phobia revealed itself, but, he'd actually had it even before his adoption, he'd had it since before he could remember himself, or even longer. Doctors assured them that it would pass... But it wasn't even getting better. Darkness paralysed him with fear; he could never fall asleep without his night light on, at the very least. When he needed a glass of water or to use the toilet at nights, he could never even start considering going out of his room if his entire way wasn't illuminated. Mother had long made sure he had a switch in his room that allowed him to turn on the light in the corridor that he had to walk through to get to the bathroom. And the light was bright enough for him to feel comfortable. Loki was very grateful for her thoughtfulness and for being so supportive.

When one night when he was twelve he woke up in complete darkness, his night light wasn't working, as well as any light outside their house, he was so scared that he could hardly breathe. He was disoriented and didn't know what to do other than lie in his bed motionlessly and weep without making a sound. He couldn't think and when he tried to scream for help, no sound escaped him. He tried to call for his Mother, not even remembering that she and Father were away for a business trip, but he couldn't make even a small sound anyway; it couldn't go past the hot lump of terror in his throat. Very soon his panicked mind started playing tricks on him (those were just tricks, weren't they?), and he was sure he saw something moving in the darkness. He could even hear a very faint noise of something dragging itself along the carpet. At least, that was what his mind had come up with. He could feel his hair standing on end, especially the tiny hairs on the back of his neck; his back was covered with cold sweat and he knew he was losing his mind. He shut his eyes tight. What if it was standing at his bed now? What if it was looking down on him to torture him with fear before dragging him into its own world of eternal darkness or killing him right here in his bed. How much time had passed since the light had gone out? For how long it had been there, watching him as he slept, waiting for him to wake up in the darkness? It had been watching the way he slept; slept unaware that he was surrounded by the darkness, unaware that he was in danger. But now it knew that he was awake.

He wanted to get up and run, but his rigid body refused to move other than let him curl up into a tight ball and clench the blanket in his fist. He was helpless. It was there, at his bed, he knew it... It was there, looking at him, he knew it, he could feel it... So close. Itwasthere... It could attack any moment... The only question was whether it was going to attack right now or a second later; or several hours later when Loki would no longer be sane. His mind was dim with terror. And then he heard some noise, loud and quickly approaching footsteps, and now he was sure that he wasn't going to live through this night. He tried to brace himself for an attack, for pain, for something terrible that was surely about to happen to him...

"Loki! Loki, look at me. Look at me, brother!" the worried and very familiar voice was calling for him. "Come on, Loki. Open your eyes. Breathe. Look at me!" the voice kept calling.

Thor had never seen his brother this scared before. His normally pale face was now a white mask of pure terror, wet with tears. Thor was rubbing the stiff, shivering body gently to make it relax and to attract the attention of the unresponsive boy. Then he slightly shook Loki out of his stupor as he kept calling his name and asking him to look at him. When the green, red-rimmed eyes finally looked back and Loki emitted a muffled cry, Thor sighed in relief, lifted his brother's upper body and embraced it tightly.

"It's all right," he murmured. Now he was so thankful that he had woken up in the middle of the night and, as he had gone to the bathroom, he'd discovered that the electricity didn't work. He had quickly taken the antique candelabrum from the living room downstairs and decided to check if Loki was all right, only to find his little brother paralysed with terror.

Only when Loki saw that there was a candelabrum with three lit candles on his bedside table, he started to calm down slowly. He was watching the candle light, holding onto Thor.

"It's all right now," Thor said again quietly. "I'm going to leave you now for a few minutes," he warned. Loki started to shake his head, wordlessly begging him not to leave. "I'll leave the candles with you, don't worry. I only want to try to fix the light. I'll be back soon, I promise. Okay?" Thor kept coaxing Loki softly. The younger youth nodded fervently, but his hands kept holding onto Thor's t-shirt and it took another minute to make him let go.

Three candles weren't giving enough light to make Loki feel really comfortable, but it was much better than nothing. Unfortunately, Thor had left the door of Loki's bedroom open and the gaping darkness threatened to cross the threshold of the room and flow inside, as if waiting for the candles to go out any moment. And something else that was shrouded in that darkness would enter with it. 'Stop it! There's no one and nothing out there!' Loki scolded himself.

Thor was away for only about twenty minutes, but for Loki those twenty minutes felt like hours. The younger boy flinched when from the corner of his eye he saw someone entering, but immediately relaxed when he saw Thor with some plastic bag in his hand.

"I wouldn't be able to fix it, because the most part of our street has lost power. I saw one of our neighbours outside. He said they've already rung the electric company. They said there was some accident and they would be able to restore power in the morning," the blond youth said. Loki sighed in defeat. "But don't worry about it," the older of the two added. He opened the plastic bag, which was full of candles of different shapes, sizes and colours, though most of them were white or blue. There were also candle sticks, candelabra or transparent glasses for thicker candles.

Sitting on his bed Loki was enchanted by the sight of Thor lighting the candles one by one, without fussing, placing them so that each dark corner was illuminated. For Loki it looked like a magical ritual of casting out the darkness and his fears together with it. And his older brother was doing it for him, making the fear retreat with each new lit candle. Thor even used the expensive scented candles that had been a gift to their Mother from Father's business partner from India. They knew that Frigga wouldn't be angry, knowing the reason why Thor had taken them.

When the room was beautifully illuminated by about thirty candles, Thor sat down onto Loki's bed, admiring his work, and smiled. Loki smiled back when their eyes met; he was no longer scared and troubled. Thor lay down and held him in his arms.

"Sleep. I'll stay here with you," he promised. Only an hour or so later Loki fell asleep in the arms of his older brother.

The next day Loki was very quiet, embarrassed by what had happened last night and his childish behaviour. It was always embarrassing, even though people assured him that it wasn't his fault.

And now, a few years later he felt the same. He wasn't five, he wasn't twelve; he was fifteen, but nothing had changed, despite what doctors kept telling him, assuring him that the phobia would stay in his childhood. It hadn't, so he felt betrayed and deceived...

Already warm in Thor's car and in Thor's coat, Loki sighed. He was so tired of being afraid of something non-existent. He was a rational person; he was rational at just about everything. But when it was about darkness, he turned into a pathetic coward that accepted no rational, logical and sensible arguments: neither his own, nor anybody else's at all.

*Brennivín is an Icelandic native liquor. It's quite strong (almost 40%).