I am so sorry it's been so long without an update. A busy work schedule plus an uncooperative muse meant I wasn't writing much of anything. I'm going to try very hard to write more and update more often.

IMPORTANT NOTE: In case you didn't notice, I changed the rating of this story to M. That's there for a reason people, so pay attention to it!

Beginning | Accusation | Flame | Companion | Move | Silver | Prepared | Knowledge | Denial | Wind | Order | Look | Summer | Transformation | Tremble | Sunset | Mad | Thousand | Outside | Winter | Diamond | Letters | Promise | Simple | Future

They practically fell into the empty room. An old recruit room, she noticed dimly. That meant a bed. Alex wasn't sure it would matter if there weren't one.

Sean pushed her against the wall and his hands cupped her face again, lips sliding against hers. She shoved his shirt down his shoulders, practically ripping the buttons off in her haste. It wasn't graceful. It wasn't sensual. It was fast and frantic. She was desperate to slide skin against skin, to feel the heat of his body.

He fell back on the bed, taking her with him, so that she straddled his hips. He dragged her shirt off roughly and his lips found her breasts. She tried to reach him with her mouth, to kiss, to bite, anything, but she couldn't get a good angle with his face buried against her. So she pushed him away, pushed him down, until she could lay her body across his. She kissed him again as she tangled her hands in his hair while he fumbled with the clasp of her bra. It finally came free and then there was nothing between them as Sean wrapped his arms around her tightly.

She'd been angry at him when he first left. She'd been furious that he put her in that position, tried to make her chose, tried to force her into a corner where it was his way or no way. But the truth was it was herself she was most angry at. She'd lost count of the number of times she'd run through it in her head. All the different ways she could have handled things. Not just that day, when he left, but before that. If she'd just let him in maybe it never would have gotten to that point. In the end she couldn't really blame him for going. She was damaged. She was defective. She wouldn't let herself freely feel for him because every event in her life had taught her that would only lead to more pain.

So she kept him at a distance, and she brushed aside his fear when she was hurt because it was better for her to stay focused, and finally he just left. And all the pain she'd been trying to avoid had come crashing down anyway. So she'd put her walls back up, and tried to put him from her mind for good. Then he'd come back. She'd wanted so badly to be mad at him again, to make it about his problems, his failures, and his alone. They'd fought some more, yelled some more, said more unkind things to each other. And in the minutes after the landmine exploded, as she waited in Ops, useless, desperate for news of his status, none of it had mattered. Maybe she still hadn't completely opened up to him, maybe he still wasn't entirely ready to accept that she would never be OK with a white picket fence and a life of peace and quiet. But they'd made a start, towards understanding each other, towards finding a compromise they could both live with. They had hurt each other enough. They were done hurting.

Sean flipped them quickly so that she lay under him. It was an impressive feat on such a narrow bed. He trailed kisses down her stomach, giving her small little love bites as he went. Alex smiled down at him and laughed as he inadvertently tickled her. The laugh turned to a moan as he slid her pants down her hips and his lips moved lower, kissing and licking and sucking.

There was a moment, just a split second, when she felt the weight of what had once been done to her. A moment when she felt the familiar tightness in her chest, and a feeling of panic in the back of her head.

And then the moment passed.

Their movements weren't so frantic anymore. Sean took his time. He stripped her bare and covered her body in slow, lingering kisses. His hands stroked and caressed, tickled and pinched until she was laughing and moaning in equal measure. He looked at her as if hearing her laugh and seeing her smile was all he wanted from life. He showed with his actions what he has already said out loud – he loved her, completely.

Alex kissed him deeply as he finally slid into her. His breathing was fast and ragged as he stared down at her with something like wonder. She felt unbelievably cherished and safe in his arms. It was as he looked down at her with such love and desire that Alex felt a transformation begin within her.

Sean knew her. He knew her past. He'd seen her in a dark place, hell-bent on revenge. He'd watched her bleed and cry and fight. And he loved every part of her. She was not damaged. She was not defective. Not in his eyes. And if he believed it, maybe she could believe it too. For the first time in too many years to count, Alex could imagine a future where she wasn't haunted every day by her past.

"I love you," he whispered hoarsely as they came.

She wasn't ready to say it yet. It was still too big, and she still had work to do tearing down her walls. But as they curled up together, Sean pressed against her back, holding her tightly as he kissed her neck, she knew she felt the same. She was in love with Sean Pierce. He'd come back, and he was hers, and she would not let him go again.

With thoughts of a future not spent alone floating through her head, Alex drifted gently to sleep in Sean's arms.