Hey, everyone! Yes, I'm here. I'm not dead or anything :P I apologize for the long wait. Lots of things kept me from writing, mostly feeling uninspired. I'm back, though, feeling the exact opposite. Hope you like the chapter.

As always, I do not own Glee or any of its characters. What I do own is a increasing variety of shotglasses from places I've visited around the world.

Chapter 15 – How Does That Sound?

"I don't want you seeing other people. I want you seeing me. Only me. I-I can't do this. It's driving me crazy, imagining you with other people. I want you to be mine."

Rachel's ears were ringing. She could feel the blood haste to her head from where it just had been rushing a few seconds ago. Her mind was going through a myriad of thoughts and was completely blank at the same time. She couldn't hear anything but the blood pumping through her veins, pulsating, making her head feel twice its normal size and her otherwise finely tuned ears ring vigorously, drowning any other sound.

So this is what people call 'hysterical deafness' she thought for the briefest of seconds.

Quinn's eyes, wet and unblinking, looked expectant. She was unsure whether she should have said it. One part of her regretted it the moment the words came out of her mouth; the other part felt, truthfully, quite relieved. She hadn't talked to anyone about it but herself, but she had been on this extremely confusing emotional rollercoaster concerning the small brunette in front of her. She had been quite content with their arrangement, though lately the whole thing felt not enough. Afraid to think too much about it and lose the fun of their unorthodox relationship, she let it go.

Well, until now.

She couldn't think of anything to say to top what had just sprung out of her lips, so she waited almost patiently. Rachel looked dumbfounded, and with her not responding and all, Quinn's look turned from expectant to defeated. Disappointed. Embarrassed.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Rachel knew she had to say something at some point but no words came to mind. She literally, and quite shockingly, could not form a single sentence.

Say something. Come on! Just look at her!

She wanted to say something. She wanted to know if what she heard was true. She wanted to know if what she heard had actually been said. It would be embarrassing to say the least if she had imagined the whole thing. She wanted to make that horrible look on Quinn's face disappear. She wanted to, but she didn't know how. She didn't even know how she felt about it. She had faintly flirted with the idea of actually being with Quinn but, quickly enough, she had dismissed it, rendering the idea as ludicrous and simply impossible. The very thought of it was attributed to her nostalgia for being in a committed relationship. Although in retrospect she doubted she had ever been in one.

The air felt thick, lacking of oxygen, and Quinn felt more exposed by the second. With a pink hue on her cheeks, she slowly reached for her clothes, mentally damning her blubbering mouth. Apparently, it couldn't be trusted in times of extreme arousal. Perfectly aware of her and the small girl's nakedness, she put on her shirt and buttoned her jeans, bitterly laughing at how fast things change. Moments ago the same bareness of their bodies felt so natural. So needed.

Now it was just plain embarrassing.

Rachel stood, her legs feeling weak and wobbly, and covered herself with her dress.

"Quinn…"

Quinn felt physically sick at the sound of Rachel's voice. It was so small. She knew what was coming and, once again, she mentally chastised herself for expressing her deeper thoughts. She knew better than that. Yes, she wanted to be more honest with herself and everyone. Yes, she had finally found peace with herself. But the recent developments with Rachel had brought some kind of instability again. She got nervous around the girl. She got jealous and shy and anxious, and all that would cause a slight bit of panic. Hence the 'confession'.

"Don't…" said Quinn, her voice matching Rachel's. If only the earth would just open up already and swallow her whole. She couldn't bring herself to look at the girl.

Rachel got fully dressed and, finally, feeling a little braver, she ventured, "Quinn, please. I-It's okay."

The blonde wondered if her lover was kidding or not.

"I mean, don't do that. Just-Let's talk about this", Rachel tried again.

"There's no need, Rachel", answered Quinn, her eyes still finding everything else interesting. She started looking for her bag, her mind drawing a complete blank as to where she had put it. "Just, please, forget that I said anything."

Maybe she could take it back. Or not.

"What? Why?" Rachel wondered, her eyes following the blonde's back move from the kitchen to the living area and then the kitchen again. "What are you looking for?"

Quinn gave no answer but continued her epic search for the elusive baggage.

Rachel put her hands on her sides and lightly stomped her foot. " Quinn, what are you looking for?"

"My bag. I'm looking for my bag."

The brunette's mouth fell open once again. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, Rach. I'm seriously looking for my bag" came Quinn's snarky retort.

Rachel huffed. "Don't- Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" asked the blonde nonchalantly, mouthing 'finally' when she caught sight of her bag behind the couch.

"Get like that with me. You're being evasive and snarky, and, frankly, this passive-aggressive attitude isn't working for you. Or me, for that matter. So I think we sh-Quinn, would you just stop moving and look at me when I'm talking to you?!"

Quinn stopped in her tracks, the small girl's authoritative voice bringing her to a halt. She turned to look at the girl. God, she was beautiful. Hands clinging on her waist (oh, she had driven her mad), eyes bulging, lips still bruised, hair disheveled; all ingredients that managed to take Quinn's breath away.

Quinn slightly shook her head, successfully returning to the present.

"What is it, Rachel?" she asked, her voice flat.

The brunette opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Hmm?" Quinn urged.

"I just think that we ought to talk about what happened" offered the smaller girl, her voice not resembling at all the one from seconds ago.

"I really don't think we need to." Quinn felt a little calmer. "I mean, forget what I said." Quinn knew she would regret what followed. "It was, you know, the heat of the moment. I didn't mean it."

Now it was too late to take that back.

Rachel's facial features changed rapidly. She frowned and her eyes just looked sad. And then they changed again. And now they looked like they were on fire.

"You didn't mean it?" she asked incredulously. "You didn't mean it?" she repeated. She felt mad.

"I-I mean…Rachel, it's just…" Quinn was at a loss for words. She knew she had meant the whole thing. She just didn't mean to actually say it.

Rachel ran her hand through her hair in a desperate attempt to calm down. Her patience was wearing thin. She was confused and she couldn't make sense of what she was actually feeling. One minute she's flattered, the other she's angry. One minute she wants to jump Quinn and kiss her, the other she's too scared to actually think about it. She absolutely hated feeling this confused. She had been feeling confused since the first time she woke up in the same bed as the blonde, but now her confusion had reached a whole new level. So, in a very Rachel Berry way, she decided she could no longer stand feeling this way, so she flat out asked Quinn, "What is it you truly want?"

Quinn just stared for the first few seconds, taken aback. And although her nerves had taken the best of her through this whole fiasco, she now felt calm. Her mind was clear. Her courage was back and the words 'whatever happens, happens' left her lips.

The brunette raised an eyebrow, curious to see what that little phrase was for.

"Okay", said Quinn. "Let's just sit down for a second." She motioned for the girl to sit on the couch next to her. Rachel complied and carefully took a seat next to the blonde facing her.

Quinn let out a breath. It was obvious that she was a bit nervous.

"Remember when it all started?" she began. The brunette nodded. How could she forget? "I was so confused" she continued, "and quite frankly I still am. I had never thought that it could be this way between us. And here we are now. Who knew, right?" she asked letting out a nervous laugh. Rachel reached out and cupped her hand with hers to calm the blonde. "I know I didn't. But that doesn't matter to me, because I like how we are. I like being able to call you and talk to you when you're in bed. I like being able to kiss you. I like being able to…be with you that way." Her cheeks were turning red again. "When we said we'd be like friends with benefits, it sounded good. It sounded so good, because all I could think about was 'I'll be able to do those things with her'. And it was true. It is true! But it doesn't sound that good anymore."

Rachel kept listening intently, not to miss a single word. "Why?" she asked.

"Because, Rach, I like you" answered Quinn honestly. She smiled shyly and went on. There's no turning back now. "I like you. I want you. And, before you say anything, yes, I did like and want you before, but this is…different." Quinn looked at the girl in front of her and smiled. She knew losing what they had then was a possibility but she chose to be honest, whatever it was that ensued. "Do you know that I look forward to talking to you every day? That I can't wait to see you every time we make plans to meet? The truth is, I think about you. A lot. And I think that 'friends with benefits' aren't supposed to feel that way."

Rachel was trying to let everything sink in. "Is that why you were so rude to Ashley?"

Quinn straightened her back at the sound of the girl's name. She mentally prayed that Rachel was nothing more than just friends with that girl.

"Rachel, I get jealous. I don't mean to, but I do get jealous. When I said I didn't want you seeing other people, I meant it. At first, I hadn't even thought about it. But the thing is, one way or the other, it dawned on me that you may be intimate with other people, and it made me mad."

"Okay" was all the brunette could say.

Quinn was getting frustrated. There she was, pouring her heart out and now Rachel had found the time to not talk incessantly.

"Please, say something."

Rachel drew a much needed breath, gathered what she could of her thoughts and tried "Quinn, in all honesty, I'm shocked. Not in a bad way necessarily, but nevertheless, I'm shocked. I mean, you said it yourself, the dynamics of our relationship have changed dramatically. And it all happened so fast it gave me whiplash! I've never thought about being with you that way but I like how we are, as well." That formed a smile on the blonde's face. "And quite frankly, you've been occupying my thoughts regularly to say the least", Rachel admitted shyly.

"I have?" asked Quinn in a husky voice as she leaned in to capture Rachel's lips.

Rachel could only nod before the blonde locked lips with her, their kiss ever so gentle but firm.

"Umpf…stop" exclaimed the diva pulling back against her will, "you're distracting me!"

Quinn smirked and licked her lips slowly tasting the girl. "Sorry."

Rachel pursed her lips and tilted her head. "No, you're not, but it's alright."

Quinn laughed and motioned for the singer to continue.

"Okay, where was I? Ah, yes. What I'm trying to say is that I like you, too, Quinn. But, forgive me, but I still don't know exactly what it is you want. Is it exclusivity you wish for?"

Quinn thought for a second. "It is." She felt like saying more but she didn't.

Rachel took another breath. "Okay" she said to herself mostly. She didn't really know what to say. She wanted to say that from her part she'd been exclusive the whole time, that she was so flattered by Quinn asking for it, but part of her was afraid. Unsure.

"Listen", said Quinn, "I know I have no right to ask you this. I do. But the truth is I can be quite a selfish person. It's no excuse. I'm just stating the facts here. I know I'm jeopardizing what we have, but hell, we threw our friendship out of the window the moment we lay next to each other, didn't we? And I'm not saying I don't value our friendship, 'cause I do. It's just that…Rach, I feel so good when I'm around you. I kept denying it but, to say the truth, I'm so tired of tiptoeing around the fact that I want you. I really, truly want you. And I want you all to myself. Call me selfish, I don't care. I really don't. I am selfish. And jealous. And territorial. And these are not even my worst qualities, but that just doesn't change the fact that I don't want to share you."

"You're not" came Rachel answer, her voice soft.

The blonde stared at her for a few moments. A smile crept up her mouth. "I'm not?"

"No, you aren't." The singer couldn't place her feelings right now. She could feel her heart expand at Quinn's confession, but she still felt unsure. "Why would you assume you were?"

The blonde opened and closed her mouth a few times, unable to think of a good retort. "I-I…because, Rach, it's you. You're beautiful, and talented and so…sexy! Who wouldn't hit on you?"

Rachel smiled, feeling shy and rather surprised. She knew Quinn liked her or she wouldn't have had sex with her, but she never thought she'd hear the girl say it out loud. She'd heard it before but at quite more intimate moments. It wasn't the same.

She cleared her throat. "That doesn't mean that I would do anything with whoever hit on me, Quinn. I mean, you're beautiful. Gorgeous. Do you go out or, I don't know, have sex with whoever hits on you?"

"God, no!" Quinn answered quickly.

"So you haven't been with anyone except for me since after Thanksgiving?" Rachel wanted to know. If Quinn wanted exclusivity, it was only fair it went both ways.

"I haven't", replied the blonde truthfully.

"Not even with Jamie?" Rachel didn't want to push, but there was something wrong with that girl. She could sense it. Her psychic skills had kicked in the moment she first saw her.

"Jamie? No! God, no! We're friends, Rachel. She did tell me the other day that she had a crush on me when we first met, but that was it. And it's over now. We're just friends."

Rachel was convinced. She could feel Quinn was being honest and she felt relieved. Although, she still didn't like the girl. How dare she have a crush on Quinn?!

They looked at each other and smiled, their conversation bringing some kind of relief to both. Rachel looked down at Quinn's hands reaching for hers and sighed. "I get jealous, too, you know. I do. And this whole thing we have is causing me to go through a plethora of emotions, and if I'm being honest with myself, it scares me, Quinn."

Quinn squeezed the brunette's hands. "I'm scared, too, Rach." Rachel looked up, her eyes engaging the blonde's. "Let's be scared together?" proposed Quinn.

The brunette smiled sweetly. "Sounds good."

"How does a date with me sound?"

Rachel felt shocked once again. "What?"

Quinn laughed at how adorable Rachel looked, despite feeling herself grow rather nervous. She was asking a girl out. She was asking Rachel out.

"Go out with me."

"Go out with you?"

"That's what I said."

"On a date." Rachel wanted to clarify. This was not to be misinterpreted.

"On a date. With me."

Rachel was baffled. "This is all so overwhelming" she uttered.

"I sincerely hope you mean that in a good way."

Rachel smiled weakly, "I do."

"So…will you?" asked the blonde. "Go out with me? On a date?"

Rachel thought for a second or two. This was definitely not how she thought they would spend the weekend together. Putting all fears aside, she decided to give in the excitement and confidence Quinn's proposal made her feel.

"Okay. I will."

"Okay, so I hooked you up with the restaurant. The reservation's under the name 'Isabelle Wright'."

"Thanks, Kurt, I owe you one." Quinn was struggling to get in her heels while balancing her phone between her shoulder and ear.

"You owe me a lot more, Quinn. Do you know how hard it is to book a table at 'Candle 79' on a Saturday? At the last minute?" asked Kurt through the line.

"I can only imagine, Kurt. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much! You're a life-saver!" Quinn was really grateful. When Rachel agreed to go on a date with her, she began to panic. She had no idea where to go or what to do to entertain the girl. She was in a totally strange city and the only places she knew, Rachel had shown them to her. She had to impress her. So she turned to Kurt.

"Quinn?"

"I'm here, Kurt", answered the blonde. She was now looking at herself in the full-sized mirror in the boy's room. She couldn't use Rachel's room since the girl was there now, getting ready herself.

"Are you really going on a date with Rachel?" he asked.

Quinn let out a small laugh. "I am."

"I can't say I'm surprised – I had totally seen it coming", Quinn rolled her eyes, "nevertheless, my place as her best friend requires me to do something that you should definitely keep in mind."

The blonde knew exactly where this was going. She let him say what he wanted to anyway. She liked knowing Rachel had such a protective friend.

"If you do anything to hurt her, Quinn, I will renounce my beliefs as a pacifist and kick your ass. I swear! I'm warning you, Fabray."

Quinn stifled a laugh. "You know, Kurt. You threatening me would be a lot more intimidating if I wasn't looking at a picture of you in a Beyonce outfit right now." Quinn put the framed picture back, lightly laughing at Kurt's gasp over the phone.

"Quiiiinnn…" Kurt warned.

"Okay, okay, alright. Message received. You'll kick my ass. Although, I have no intention of hurting her, you know.I like her."

Kurt sighed. "I know, honey. Have fun tonight, okay?"

"We will. Thanks again, Kurt. You're the best."

"I know. Bye, Quinn."

The blonde bid the boy goodbye and hang up the phone, before she checked herself in the mirror for the millionth time.

Meanwhile, Rachel was getting more nervous with every minute that passed. The blonde had insisted to take care of everything, which made Rachel swoon. All she had to do was look pretty and go on a date with a girl she had been tormented by in high school, became friends later on and was having sex with for the past few weeks. The brunette took another deep breath, unable to feel the oxygen reach her lungs. She made for the window in her bedroom to crack it open and let the cold New York City air fill her lungs but a knock on the front door brought her to a halt. She wondered who it might be.

Walking towards the door she glanced at Kurt's bedroom door where she knew Quinn was, but it was closed. Rachel slid the door open to find Quinn with a tight dark blue dress reaching mid-thigh, hugging her body perfectly, waiting on the other side of the door with a fresh bouquet of lilies in her hand.

"These are for you", the blonde said smiling. She was feeling quite silly doing this.

"Quinn, you didn't have to" offered the brunette, taking the bouquet of flowers from the taller girl. "These are so pretty. Let me put them in water."

Rachel walked to the kitchen to find a vase and Quinn followed. "You really shouldn't have", said Rachel again. "I must say, I didn't peg you as a romantic, Quinn."

Quinn's cheeks turned pink. "Nothing wrong with bringing a girl some flowers. Besides, we're on a date. I want to treat you. My mama raised me right, Rachel Berry." Quinn lay back on the kitchen counter watching Rachel arrange the flowers in the vase. After placing them in the center of the table, the brunette turned to look at Quinn. "Did your mama raise you to bring flowers to your female dates, Ms. Fabray?"

"Touché" said the blonde smiling.

"You ready?" asked Rachel.

"After you", offered Quinn, admiring the brunette's outfit.

After the hostess at 'Candle 79" showed them to their table, a waiter handed both girls menus.

"How did you manage to get a table here?" Rachel whispered harshly.

Quinn just looked through the menu nonchalantly. "I have my connections" she answered smugly.

Rachel pursed her lips trying not to smile. "Kurt?"

The blonde lowered the menu to look at her date. "Yeah", she admitted defeated. "Thank God for his connections."

"This place is amazing, Quinn. And I know for a fact there's a waiting list. You shouldn't have gone through all this trouble."

"Nonsense. We're on a date." Quinn smiled widely, mirroring the brunette's.

Rachel still couldn't believe this was actually happening. Everything was so surreal. She wondered if Quinn felt the same.

Entering a cocktail bar in the vicinity of the restaurant, both girls attracted a few glances from the rest of the customers. They moved through the people and found a spot at the end of the bar.

"Do you like it here?" asked Quinn louder than usual in an attempt to cover the music playing.

"I do. I've wanted to come here for quite a long time actually", answered Rachel, her voice matching Quinn's. The blonde smiled, feeling glad that the date was going well. They had had a fantastic meal at the restaurant, sharing light and fun conversation, and now they were getting drinks (thank God for fake IDs) not feeling at all as nervous as they did in the beginning.

"You look amazing, Quinn" offered Rachel leaning in close to the blonde's ear in order for her to hear her clearly.

Quinn looked at her, engaging chocolate orbs. "Thank you. You, Rach, look phenomenal", she said, her eyes never faltering.

They kept staring at each other, not saying a word, just looking at each other as if they were trying to communicate through their eyes.

"Here are your drinks, girls. Enjoy!" The barman snapped them out of their reverie. Quinn thanked him and took a sip from her Gin&Tonic. Rachel brought her lips to the wine glass, her eyes never leaving Quinn. This was turning out to be a lot more fun than she expected.

"So, did you have fun?" asked Quinn taking a step closer to the brunette.

"I did", answered Rachel softly biting her lip. "Did you?"

Quinn nodded slowly. "I did. Very much so", she admitted reducing the distance between their bodies a little more, Rachel's back against the wall outside her and Kurt's loft.

"We should do this again then", suggested the smaller girl, gently toying with the buttons of Quinn's coat.

The blonde placed a hand on Rachel's side, leaning in. "We definitely should." Her voice was barely over a whisper. She cupped the girl's cheek and just before their lips could touch, Rachel's forefinger stopped her mouth from moving any further.

"Thank you so much for this great night, Quinn. I'll see you in the morning." And with that she fished out her keys, opened the door and walked in the loft, leaving a very confused Quinn behind.

"Rach-" she started, "oh hey, Kurt." The boy had just emerged from the bathroom.

"Hey guys!" he drawled. "How did the date go?"

"I had a great time!" Rachel exclaimed, her smile as wide as ever.

Kurt turned to Quinn, expecting an answer from her as well.

"Oh yeah, it was great. It was really amazing", she offered truthfully, but still very much confused by Rachel's unwillingness to kiss her.

Kurt applied some kind of lotion on his face, knitting his eyebrows together. "So why do you look like that?" he asked the taller girl.

"I-I.."

"Quinn is puzzled because she tried to kiss me just before we came in here and I refused."

The blonde looked back and forth between the two roommates. Kurt seemed not surprised.

"Well-" Quinn started but was cut off.

"She doesn't seem to know that I don't kiss on the first date" the diva explained.

Quinn let out a laugh. She turned to Kurt who was standing by the bathroom door rubbing circles on his cheeks with a white cream, watching the girls' interaction amused. The blonde took a step toward Rachel. "You're kidding."

Rachel took a sip from a water bottle she had just taken out of the fridge. "I assure you I'm not. Sharing something as intimate as a kiss so soon leaves very little to the imagination, which is rather needed for the second, third or fourth date and so on."

"I don't need to imagine anyth-"

"Goodnight, Quinn. Goodnight, Kurt." And with that she closed the door to her bedroom behind her.

Quinn was dumbfounded. She couldn't believe Rachel. They had kissed and they had sex many times before. Did they have to start from the beginning just because they went on a date?

"I'm guessing you'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. No worries. It's pretty comfortable", said Kurt. He went in his bedroom and gave her a pillow and some sheets. "Goodnight, Quinn" he bid cheerfully, patting her shoulder.

Quinn placed the sheets and pillow on an armchair and slumped on the couch. This was not how she thought the night would end. Disappointed, she got out of her dress and into an oversized Yale T-shirt. She lay down on the couch and covered herself with the sheet Kurt had given her. She looked at Rachel's bedroom door. She could be in there right now kissing the hell out of the girl. She wanted to so much. She wanted to undress her, look at her amazing body, touch her warm, tan skin…

"Ugh!" the blonde let out frustrated. The diva was killing her.

Just as was about to get up and grab a bottle of water, Rachel's bedroom door opened slowly, the singer's head popping out of the opening.

"Hey", greeted Rachel.

"Hey."

The brunette walked slowly and quietly towards the couch. Quinn took in the girl's attire; a tight fitting white tank top and a pair of black boy shorts. The blonde let out a sigh and averted her eyes. "Ugh, you're killing me, Rach."

"Is that true?" asked the small brunette seductively as she straddled Quinn's thighs. Quinn's blood left her head and travelled south.

"If this is your idea of teasing, I must tell you it is absolutely cruel" the blonde let her know.

Rachel laughed lightly and leaned down to capture Quinn's lips. The blonde moaned in the taste of the girl's tongue as soon as it entered her mouth, earning another, deeper moan from Rachel. Her hands moved to the brunette's buttocks, grabbing them with force. Rachel let out another moan inside the blonde's mouth, making the latter squirm underneath the singer's slender body. Quinn kept kissing her feverishly, licking the brunette's lips, biting. She captured Rachel's bottom lip between her teeth, and when their eyes locked, she whispered "I want you so much". Rachel wasted no second and attacked the blonde's mouth, pinning her down. She started laying open-mouthed kisses along Quinn's jawline and neck, until she reached what she had grown to learn that was Quinn's sensitive spot. Her teeth sank in the blonde's pulse point, making her automatically arch her back. Rachel licked the reddened area to alleviate the pain, causing a wave of arousal to crush inside Quinn's core and a deep, throaty moan to leave her lips.

"RACHEEELLL! YOU'D BETTER NOT BE HAVING SEX IN THERE! I'D LIKE TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON MY COUCH AGAIN, PLEASE!" Kurt's voice echoed putting a stop to the girls.

Rachel snickered, despite her frustration. "OUR COUCH!" she yelled.

Quinn rolled her eyes and lightly pinched Rachel's buttock to get her attention back. Rachel leaned in and kissed her firmly. "Come on", she ordered and grabbed Quinn's hand.

"I guess we shouldn't tell him about the kitchen table, should we?" whispered Quinn as she was being dragged to the bedroom by a very eager Rachel.

Thanks for reading!