Notes:Many, many thanks to Tina, makodreamafar, and fangirlwithak, my lovely and wonderful betas.

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, bits and pieces of sap slipped in

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing

Heero's mouth was hot, tongue demanding against Duo's, hands roaming over his skin. Duo arched, pressing closer, arms wrapping around the strong, scarred shoulders. Heero's hands were sliding in to his hair, hips moving steadily. Duo arched again, letting his head fall back. Baring his throat in offering to the body above his. The boy inside him moaned, leaning in to press hot, reverent kisses on the pale skin.

"Heero," The name left Duo's lips in a sigh

"Heero's gone, Duo. Stop this. Stop hurting yourself!" Hilde's cheeks were red, her eyes hard as Gundanium. Duo gave her a twisted, crooked grin, the fire of an autumn sky reflected in his eyes as he looked out the window.

"He came back before. He'll come back this time," he raised the bottle, wetting his lips. He was cold, so cold, and whiskey was warm, reminding him of dark hair and sullen eyes. Hilde's hand lashed out, knocking the bottle out of his hand. It shattered on the floor like a dream, whiskey staining the tile.

"He didn't love you," Hilde hissed, grabbing his wrists. Duo twisted, pulling way.

"Shut up!"

"Shut up, baka," it was an affectionate tease, Heero's lips skimming behind his ear. "They'll hear you." Heero's hands were on his nipples, teasing them, and Duo moaned, louder, before letting out a low, husky laugh.

"You love when I'm loud," Duo smirked, then gasped as Heero's teeth closed around his pulse. He laughed, mouth moving over Duo's skin, causing heat to pool in his stomach like brandy.

"The others have a mission in the morning..." Heero smiled, watching as Duo arched, pressing against his fingers.

"So find a way to shut me-" Duo cut off, Heero's mouth covering his, fingers rubbing slow circles around his entrance.

"Duo-" Heero whispered against his lips.

"Oh, Duo..." Quatre entered the hospital room with his coat folded over his arms. It was winter, the anniversary of the Eve War. The body on the hospital bed was battered, eyes bruised. Duo's hair was down, spread over the pillows. Wufei stood, sighing, hand moving away from the soft locks.

"He's been unconscious since they brought him in," The Chinese man closed his eyes, swallowing, face white. He crossed his arms over his chest, lips a thin line of disapproval. Quatre nodded, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Do you know what happened?" Quatre felt old, and tired. Torn between pain.

"He was drunk. Totaled his bike. No one else was hurt..." Wufei trailed off, eyes a dark abyss of nothing. "Quatre...I can't do this. With him. Anymore."

Quatre regarded Wufei with calm, knowing eyes. Finally, he nodded.

"It was nice to see you again, Wufei," he offered a smile. He knew. Wufei smiled back, the expression strained, then turned to talk to the door. The Chinese man paused, turning, eyes lingering over Duo's face, the hair spread out over the pillow.

"Heero?" Duo murmured, eyelids fluttering. Wufei left.

Heero ran his hands down Duo's sides, hips thrusting languidly. Duo's back was arched, head resting on his shoulder, hips moving in a slow, steady circle. The room was hot, full of the sounds of sweaty skin.

"Duo," Heero moaned, eyes hazy, lips moving over the exposed skin of Duo's neck, one hand wrapping around his cock.

"God, Heero, harder!" Duo cried out, eyes shut, bones melting in heat and pleasure.

The body behind his stopped, the hands on his hips tightening, then releasing. Trowa was backing away, pulling his pants up. Duo turned, reaching out. The hard look in green eyes stopped him. Duo let his hands drop, licking his lips, then looking down.

"Trowa I-" Duo stopped, flinching as Trowa punched the wall.

"Shut up! I am not a replacement! If you want Heero so bad, go find him." Trowa snarled, pulling on his shirt. Shaking his head, he turned, slipping in to the humid spring night.

"No! Please, don't go-" Duo slid down the wall, resting his face in his knees. "Please..."

There were warm fingers on his chin, tilting his face up. A hot mouth devoured his, and Duo slid his arms around the strong, broad shoulders he loved so much. Heero's hand slid in to the base of his braid, other arm sliding around his waist, wrapping tight. Duo could feel their hearts beating against each other through the layers of skin and muscle, in sync, chests pressed tight together

Panting, Heero pulls back, his rough palm cupping Duo's cheek. Duo kissed his palm, breath hitching, watching him with dark, fearful eyes.

"Duo...I'll come back. I'm not going to die on this mission." Heero whispered, their mouths meeting, pressing. Duo felt himself lifted, strong hands cupping the backs of his thighs. He wrapped his legs around Heero's waists, his arms around his neck, looking in to the eyes that reflected ice to everyone but him. "I'll come back."

"He's not coming back!" Quatre was raising his voice, eyes full of hurt. The air around them smelled of heat, of concrete in the rain, and summer storms. Duo leaned against the window sill, watching the midnight city traffic. He shrugged, finishing his bottle of whiskey, hair hanging limp in its braid.

"He said he would. He promised," Duo's voice was rough, torn by longing and too many nights drinking. Quatre clenched his fists.

"It's been almost five years. He's not coming back," Quatre clenched his jaw next, then his teeth. Duo was staring at him with empty violet eyes, lips curved in a smirk. The blonde shuddered with resolve and despair, the hopeless hope of someone who doesn't know how to do anything but wait.

"He's-He's not-He didn't love you, Duo," The whiskey bottle hit the wall, raining glass and liquor, Duo's voice rising on the tide of hurt. Quatre flinched, then turned, eyes lost and dark. He slammed the door behind himself.

"Fuck you!" Duo shouted after him.

"Just fuck you!" Duo glared, violet eyes wet, snapping shut. Heero stood stock still in the middle of the room, hands trembling. His eyes were blue and wide as the Mediterranean.

"I...Duo?" He didn't understand Duo's shoulders shook under the weight of Heero's emotion, head tilting to send his loose hair down over his face and naked chest.

"You can't-how could you-" Duo choked, hands clenching the blanket. It hit Heero like a beam cannon, like falling out of his Gundam, a sudden, hollow rush of understanding that Duo was scared, too. He sat, tentative, reaching to take the trembling boy in his arms.

"Duo. Duo..." He cradled him, stroking a hand through his hair. "Duo, even if I die, even if you die, even if war is no place for lovers...I love you." Duo choked again, the sobbed, clinging tightly to the warm, steady presence next to him.

"Sh, love, sh," Heero rocked him, trembling himself with the enormity of a vow he didn't know he could keep. He stroked the back of his hand over Duo's cheek. The braided pilot looked up, letting out a shaky breath. And then Duo's hands were in his hair, Duo's tongue was in his mouth, and Heero's breath caught, moaning in to the mouth on his.

The mouth on Duo's cock was hungry and fevered. He bucked, eyes closed, hands tight in nameless blond hair, lips caressing the name of someone he hadn't seen in years.

Heero, he moaned, head back against the cool metal of the ship's walls, hands tight against the steady movement of Heero's body.

Duo arched, thrusting back, moaning, eyes closed and focused on ice blue, on dark hair and the line of a slender neck, drugs fading the picture in his mind. He moans,

the sound was caught by Heero's mouth, bodies working in tandem. Duo let out a happy cry, hips tilted to meet Heero's thrust, giving in to the stead fiction on his cock. "Heero-"

"My name is Ryan," or, "George." Alex. Jason. Michael. They're faceless, just bodies providing momentary heat in a dark winter that's never ended. Duo flicked the ash of his cigarette out the window

"Heero..." an autumn breeze snatching the whisper off his lips, carrying it to ears he's not sure exist anymore. Duo sighs, turning away from the window. The apartment is dark, unkempt. His ribs stick out under his shirt, braid limp, eyes dark and fevered with withdrawal.

"Heero..." his voice breaks, body curling around a tattered green tank top. "You didn't come back..."