Hello again friends!

I come bearing more Rickyl/Caryl angst for you guys. Writing Rick is becoming a fun challenge. ^.^

This is my response to a prompt on Tumblr by our own Gone Random.

Enjoy, and remember that I own NOTHING! Trust me, I remind myself every day and it makes me a sad panda. :P

"Merle can't stay."

The words had near been choking him from the moment he began leading Daryl around the corner at the end of the cell block. Now, standing face-to-face with the man who Rick knew could only be living in a fog of confliction and confusion, his words felt far too harsh, too hurried.

But they were true.

Daryl blinked at him. His eyes narrowed and Rick saw the hurt flash across his face.

"What?"

He took a deep breath at the way Daryl's eyebrows crunched together in worry, the way the man's posture sagged and his head slowly began shaking. Rick dropped his voice along with his head, coming close to Daryl's own to catch and hold his attention.

"He hasn't stopped threatening people since he got here. He's already done damage; look at what he did to Glenn, he could have killed him!" He spoke the truth and he knew that Daryl knew it, but even still, the younger brother's head was already shaking more fervently….

Desperately.

"He's just upset, he'll calm down, you can't—"

"Daryl. Look at Glenn's face."

"I've seen it."

"Then you should know that I can't let him stay."

And just like that, Daryl's attitude completely shifted.

Rick watched as he took a long step back, his head freezing and his eyes relaxing into a cold, steely stare that was more troubling than intimidating. He waited while Daryl took a few heavy breaths, his own muscles tensing.

Over the many months he and Daryl had helped steer their little group along he had always asked the man for his thoughts. He always wanted to know what Daryl was thinking, because it was usually something he himself hadn't considered or noticed.

He was never afraid to ask Daryl's opinion.

Until this moment.

He would have been thankful that Daryl gave it to him anyway, except:

"Fine…Merle goes, I go…"

His stomach flipped. Rick reached out for Daryl's shoulder, only to have his hand knocked into the air beside them as Daryl suddenly advanced, leering.

"…Carol, too."

He blinked. Shook his head to himself, processing Daryl's words.

He could smell old meat on the other man's breath, hear the deep, shuddering inhalations as Daryl waited a moment for his response. Rick made the mistake of taking two seconds too long.

Even as he opened his mouth to say…something…Daryl shoved past him in a flurry of anger, heading up the metal steps to the second tier of cells where Merle had been locked away.

Rick watched him stomp on the catwalk over his head briefly before disappearing from his sight.

He leaned against the corner of the wall, hand coming up to press fingers into his eyes. His head was aching. It was just too much, too goddamn much….

Why was it that no matter what he did, how hard he tried to make things better for himself and his family, something always went wrong?

It was the world, his jaded brain told him. The world they lived in now. If life was unfair before, it was usually just plain against him now. The block had gone quiet, aside from the cooing of Judith in a cell around the corner. He wanted to throw his stress away and just curl into a chair with his little girl, hold her in the crook of his arm and pretend he had nothing else to worry about for the rest of his life….

But Judith, Carl….all of them….they needed Daryl.

He was part of them. He was family. Rick knew what losing him would mean. He'd learned much from his time with Daryl over the winter, but compared to the expert he couldn't hunt to save his life (or anyone else's), and Daryl was….

Daryl was his friend. His closest friend, second only to his son.

And he knew, he knew, that as much as Daryl felt the familial obligation to stand by his brother, it wasn't right for him. Daryl had found his place among them. He belonged with them.

Merle was nothing but trouble. To everyone, especially his brother.

Rick found his fingers had landed in his hair. It was oily, dirty…his scalp itched almost constantly nowadays. Absently he tugged at it in frustration, kicked at the wall behind him.

He couldn't afford to lose Daryl. He just couldn't. If something were to happen to him, Rick knew he could count on Daryl to take the reins and keep his family safe. He'd already proven that after Lori's death.

He had saved Judith's life.

And then there was Carol. It was one thing to threaten to leave himself…but to pull Carol into it? The very thought made his chest tighten. Carol was just as important. She had become so much stronger over the winter. She could shoot, she could fight, she had lost that fear that had seemed to cripple her on the farm. But she was still Carol…still gentle, kind, a mother at heart and the best person among them to keep Judith safe and healthy. And she was his friend…they didn't speak much alone, hadn't gotten to know each other as well as he would like…but they were friends.

She went from almost fearing him to trusting him to caring about him in the span of seven months, and that alone made Carol special to him.

For Daryl to threaten to take her away…

He heard her voice around the corner, softly singing to a fussing Judith.

His hand found its way to his mouth and he bit down into his fist.

Would she go?

That was the million dollar question, really.

Rick wasn't stupid. He wasn't blind, either. He saw it back on the farm, when Daryl began relentlessly searching for Sophia, how things were going to be between him and Carol. He saw it coming, and he probably saw it before either of them ever did.

The moment Daryl grabbed the woman and held her against him in front of that barn Rick knew they had something that no one else in their group did.

And over the winter, that bond had flourished.

Carol cared for all of them. It was in her nature. But she held a special place in her heart for Daryl. And although the man was currently using her as leverage to secure his brother's safety, Rick knew Daryl cared just as much for her.

He couldn't count the number of times he'd wanted to ask Daryl why they didn't share a bed. Something in him warned against it every time. And every time, he could only grin and hope Daryl didn't see it.

He shook his head to no one, sighing.

Carol loved Daryl. She did. But she loved the rest of them, too. She looked out for Carl and Beth. She had already attached herself to his baby. And although he really and truly couldn't say that she wouldn't leave with Daryl if he asked her, it was a risk he simply could not afford to take.

He could not lose them.

Either of them.

"Dammit."

He started up the stairs to find Daryl.

Rick's mind had already been made up from the moment he'd threatened to leave.

He ignored Merle's smartass grin as he led Daryl down the catwalk to the top of the stairwell. His breath felt trapped in his lungs but he steeled himself.

When he met Daryl's eyes, the gaze the man set on him was torn between hurt, rage, and hope.

Rick held on to that spark of hope like it was his last damn lifeline.

"Okay. Okay. He can stay…" Daryl's head rose slightly and his chest seemed to heave out a sigh of relief before Rick shook his head to catch the man's attention.

"But until he can carry on a decent conversation, until I am one hundred percent sure that he won't try to hurt someone the moment I let him out, he stays in that cell, Daryl. That's the way it's gotta be. I have to keep everyone safe. We have to keep everyone safe. Got it?" His head lowered to meet and hold Daryl's shifting eyes.

He could see the uncertainty, the simmering temper, just under the surface.

But their eyes met, and Daryl blinked and nodded, slowly.

"Yeah. Got it."

Rick nodded in turn, relieved in his own right.

Sliding past Daryl he clapped the man on the shoulder before heading down to see Carol and Judith.

He felt the tremor under his palm for that split-second in time, and frowned.

Daryl wasn't happy with his decision. But he understood it.

If nothing else, Rick knew that Daryl understood him.

And for now, that was enough.

The sound of Carol's humming brought a peace to his scrambled brain as he neared the cell she, Beth and the baby were huddled in. Rick smiled as he stepped inside.

He still couldn't say whether she would have left or not. But as he watched her smile down at his little girl like she was the greatest treasure any of them had ever seen, he knew the decision he'd made was the right one.

He just couldn't lose them.

They were family.

His family.