Chapter 1-what will never be again

Ten years. Ten years since Susannah died, ten years since Conrad dumped me, ten years since
I've seen Jeremiah, ten years since I've been myself. After Susannah's cancer came back she took a turn for the worst. My mother was basically living at her house and I was left alone most of the time while Steven was away at college. I started to date Conrad it was a dream come true. He drove up every Friday and stay till Saturday night those two days were just bliss as we were only together just me and my love. Conrad.

I remember one time he drove up just like he had done a million times before I looked forward to seeing him just like always.

"Hey" Conrad said as he drove up

"Hey yourself, stranger." I smirked back

He just smiled at me and in that smile he had me I was his and only his. It was hard for us to start dating again after he walked in on me and Jere kissing that day at the campus. But as much I loved Jere he was my friend and if I crossed that line who knows what would happen if we could always be friends so we agreed to not be together that way. I think it was for the best it brought us closer together we could be completely be honest and our friendship was even better. As for me and Conrad after that night in the motel and him telling me and Jere to go to each other I called him. It was a little ambitious for me but I stilled loved him and needed to know.

When I called it seemed like the phone rang forever but finally he picked up I didn't have to say anything he started the conversation "Belly why are you calling me is everything ok?" he questioned. "Hello to you too, Conrad. Yes everything's fine I just called because…" my voice stuttered off I don't even remember what I was blabbering about until he stopped me "Belly, stop blabbering I can't understand you." He said as his matter of fact Conrad way. I started talking again in a clear voice I sighed "Conrad, I called because I wanted to talk about that day. I know you know what I'm talking about. I am not going date Jeremiah he's my friend and that's it. And I know you told him he could have me and to go for it but that was a really assy thing to say!" my voice growing angrier! "I was not your property you can't just give me away! DO YOU HEAR ME? You can't just right me off I still love you Conrad despite the fact that you said terrible things to me!" I don't even remember starting to cry but I was. "Belly" Conrad Sighed "Stop crying I know you aren't my property I didn't mean it like that I just knew I can't love you the way deserve so I told Jere to go for it with my blessing so you both could be happy. Maybe I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry Belly. You know something I never stopped thinking about you." I stopped crying to find a huge smile on my face. "You haven't?" I said. "Every second was dedicated to you Belly…I-I love you too." That's all he needed to say and the rest was history. After that we started dating again.

We dated the rest of my senior year in high school up until the time Susannah died. Conrad didn't want to talk to me or open up about how he was doing he didn't even want to hug or kiss or anything. Until one day he came by my house unexpected. When I opened the door to see him standing there I was pissed! After Susannah's death my mom went into a depression and it was up to me to take care of her by myself. So when Conrad came I was a mess I hadn't slept in two days I was up with my mom she had had an episode and needed me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked while hugging him "I'm kind of a mess. I've been up with my mom." I said looking upset I could tell my face looked it but he didn't say anything like "oh I'm sorry" or "it doesn't matter your still beautiful".

"Sorry to drop by like this but I need to talk to you in person." He said looking somber. This was it I thought he's finally going to open up to me! "Belly" he looked down at his shoes. He wouldn't come into the house just stood there on the porch "I wanted to say this in person. After my mom's death I've been really messed up and I realized that…that I need to figure out who I am so I think it would be best if we broke up. I'm really sorry I know this is out of the blue." I started to cry, cursed him out and slammed the door in his face. How dare he I lost Susannah too and my mom is depressed and I'm all alone and he doesn't care! That was the last time I talked to Conrad Fisher. In ten years at least.

After Conrad dumped me I couldn't even cry my mom needed me and I had to step up and take care of her. I went to community college so I could live at home to watch over my mom. It was a hard time in my life Steven was having the time of his life at college, my dad had a new girlfriend and my mother was clinically depressed and I was about to join her.

"Belly we are going out and parting tonight whether you want to or not! You have to get out of the house your mom will be fine I promise my mom can watch her I if you want." Taylor demanded

"Ok, ok I'll go out" I put my hands up I defeat.

That night was the one of the best nights of my life I met a guy named Bobby he was rich, and single. He took an interest in me and I knew I could love this man if I wanted to.