"So what's going to happen now? What about the victor's interview and the Victory Tour and all the money?"
The President paused, considering. "Naturally I have tried to compensate for the lack of victor this year. The Victory Tour can be replaced by a round robin television programme, visiting each District and learning about its culture and traditions- with all the uncomfortable things like poverty and hunger and unemployment edited out. The victor's interview wil be replaced with interviews with previous victors and Medusa if she behaves herself. As for the money, well I think it's time it went to someone who really deserved it. When a victor dies, the supply of money is cut off and many families are left homeless and without a breadwinner. I say that as my annual act of charity, we divide up all the winnings equally between the families of our dead victors."
"Wow. You had this all planned out?"
"Naturally."
"But why didn't you tell anyone?"
"There's an old saying; "Loose lips sink ships". Can you imagine what the District Nine rioters would be like if they knew the ending of the Games? The authorities and the elite of Nine would barely be able to cope. The Wisharts, the Greens, the Birstens, the Semores and the Halls all have their hands full as it is."
"What about the Capitol? What about their attachments and their reaction?"
"I estimate they were p****d off with me for about ten minutes before being distracted by something shiny in the advert break."
Medusa Tiofa tapped her high-heeled army boot impatiently.
The President folded his arms. "Nice dress." he snorted, gesturing at Medusa's cone-shaped black leather ballgown. "How many cows died to produce it?"
"You can talk much." She said sulkily. "How many bees starved to death to stop them cross-pollinating with that weed on your shoulder?"
"Now now," The President's tone was amused, but like that of a parent telling off a misbehaving child. "You've been so well-behaved, don't spoil it now."
"Here tonight, it's the princess of pessimism herself: Medusa Tiofa!"
Her skirts swayed as she stomped onstage, ignoring the cheers of the crowd.
"So, Medusa, you've come a long way, haven't you?"
"Tell me about it. Those stairs are a nightmare."
"No I mean, you've come all the way from a prison inmate doing time for uncivility and with an ASBO, and now you're a Gamemaker enjoying all that the Capitol has to offer."
"I miss having an ASBO. It was fun to scare little children with it."
"So you've accepted a job as Gamemaker, despite being one of those spoilsports that doesn't like the Games?"
"I don't like the Games. They're a waste of time and it's dull to watch, it's just all running and dying. But I like money and I like power and I like punch. And it's convinient not having to listen to screaming all the time. Or at least, having the option to turn the volume down. I am Ieci's replacement- as you remember from Chapter 2, he is over 90 and it's his last year as Gamemaker. It's the reward I got from Chapter 3."
"So is it true that, all along, you knew it would end like this?"
"Of course I knew. You think I would tolerate the company of those insufferable girls if I didn't have the comfort of knowing they'd all be dead in two weeks?"
"Fair enough. Do you have a message for any potential Suethors out there?"
"Yes I do. If I see any Sues, of any kind, I will pay a visit. At 3 am. Without warning and with something that will make me absolutely terrifying."
"A knife?"
"No, a hangover."
THE END
*Credits roll*
From the files of Seneca Crane, Head Gamemaker [annotated by peace and joyce, respectfully ripped off from androidilenya]
The Mary-Sue Hunger Games
Length: ten days
Winner: n/a
Arena Identification: Arena Code 547n5, Incarnations 37, 14, 2, 4. Mutts +[Piranhas]. Disasters +[Flood]+[Tornado]+[Blizzard]. Final Code +[Order 66] "kill dem bitchez".
TRIBUTES
Diamond Tyler- #17 (killed by Dawn) [created by androidilenya]
Arbella Start- #3 (killed by Dawn) [created by happiness and hamsters]
Katrue Foxclove- #18 (killed by gamemakers) [created by nb1998]
Lady Rihanna- #5 (killed by Saffron) [created by nb1998]
Crystal Proton- #13 (killed by gamemakers) [created by ellsweetella]
Melody Neutron- #23 (killed by gamemakers) [""]
Annabeth Havoiles- #7 (killed by Ash) [created by YOUCALLTHATAKIS5]
Ash Handsome- #6 (killed by self) [""]
Pollyanna Mills- #22 (killed by gamemakers) [created by Keb85]
Tallyu Nive- #14 (killed by Rihanna) [""]
Magenta Fireheart- #16 (killed by Tallyu) [created by quiet-little-wallflower]
Chase Marlow- #10 (killed by gamemakers) [""]
Saffron Salmenasen- #4 (killed by Dawn) [created by SassySunshine]
Lindley Jonerstone- #15 (killed by Saffron) [""]
Nicola Anesthatia- #8 (killed by Rihanna) [created by hufflepuffluv]
Amelia-Jane McIntosh- #2 (killed by gamemakers) [""]
Rose W.L.F. Blossom- #9 (killed by gamemakers) [created by FreeInk]
Maya Lullia- #24 (killed by self) [""]
Mary-Sue Perfect- #19 (killed by gamemakers) [created by LadyDunla]
Belle Beautiful- #11 (killed by Arbella) [""]
Dawn René- #2 (killed by gamemakers) [created by androidilenya]
Fabbie Glorious- #21 (killed by Delia) [created by bloodredfirefly]
Delia Greenwald- #20 (killed by gamemakers) [created by DutchWritersofDisney2]
Damien Courtwell- #12 (killed by gamemakers) [""]
KILLS:
Gamemakers: Melody, Pollyanna, Delia, Mary-Sue, Katrue, Crystal, Damien, Chase, Rose, Dawn, Amelia-Jane (11)
Dawn- Diamond, Saffron, Arbella (3)
Rihanna- Tallyu, Nicola (2)
Saffron- Lindley, Rihanna (2)
Ash- Annabeth, Ash (2)
Arbella- Belle (1)
Tallyu- Magenta (1)
Delia- Fabbie (1)
Maya- Maya (1)
TRIBUTE AGE DATA
Average age: 15.79 (approximately 16)
12: Rihanna, Amelia, Rose, Mary-Sue
13: Diamond
14: Tallyu, Dawn
15: Maya
16: Crystal, Melody,Magenta, Saffron, Lindley, Nicola, Delia
17: Arbella, Ash, Pollyanna
18: Annabeth, Chase, Belle, Fabbie, Damien
22: Katrue
REAPING STATS
Volunteers: Diamond, Arbella, Rihanna, Melody, Ash, Tallyu, Chase, Saffron, Lindley, Rose, Maya, Belle, Damien (13)
Reaped: Katrue, Crystal, Annabeth, Pollyanna, Magenta, Nicola, Amelia, Mary-Sue, Dawn, Fabbie, Delia. (11)
DAYS/DEATHS (note, a "day" begins at 10:00 AM Capitol time, because that marks a full 24 hours since the Games began. If they died at night they are credited as the day before)
Arena One:
Day One: Maya, Melody, Pollyanna, Fabbie, Delia, Mary-Sue Perfect
Day Two: Katrue, Diamond
Day Three: [none]
Day Four: TRAVELLING
Arena Two:
Day Five: Magenta, Lindley, Tallyu
Day Six: Crystal, Damien
Day Seven: TRAVELLING
Arena Three:
Day Eight: Belle
Day Nine: Chase, Rose /TRAVELLING
Arena Four:
Day Ten: Nicola, Annabeth, Ash
Arena Five:
Day Ten: Rihanna, Saffron, Arbella, Amelia-Jane/Dawn
HIGHEST TWELVE (ODDS)
Katrue (placed 18th)
Arbella (placed 3rd)
Rihanna (placed 5th)
Saffron (placed 4th)
Dawn (placed tied 2nd)
Chase (placed 10th)
Ash (placed 6th)
Melody (placed 23rd)
Maya (placed 24th)
Rose Windgarden Lullia Flower Blossom (placed 9th)
Nicky (placed 8th)
Damien (placed 12th)
TRAINING SCORES:
Maximum: 12 (Melody, Rose, Maya)
Minimum: 0 (Amelia-Jane)
5: Pollyanna, Belle
6: Magenta, Fabbie
7: Mary-Sue, Delia
8: Rihanna, Tallyu, Chase
9: Diamond, Arbella, Lindley, Damien
11: Katrue
Average: 8.45
Mode: 10 (Crystal, Annabeth, Ash, Saffron, Nicky, Dawn)
Range: 12
TRIBUTE FAMILIES: SIBLINGS
0: Arbella, Katrue, Rihanna, Crystal, Melody, Annabeth, Polly, Tallyu, Rose, Damien
1: Ash (little sister Britney Lee) Magenta (older brother) Amelia-Jane (older brother James) Maya (younger sister Moira) Mary-Sue (older brother Nick)
2: Diamond (younger sisters Sapphire and Topaz) Chase (younger brothers Bill and Ben) Lindley (younger brother Kyle, younger sister Ebony)
4: Dawn (younger sisters Marian, Lyanna and Catlyn, younger brother Tyrion)
6: Saffron (sisters Rosalia, Hayley and Briley, brothers Buckley, Dewley and Spreckley)
It's over! Oh well, it was really fun. And now I shall proceed to kill off your other submitted tributes :) all part of the SYOT service :)
If you could take the time to answer a short questionnaire, I would be really grateful, just to let me know what you thought.
I loved all the Sues, but I didn't like them. Does that make sense? I personally would say that my favourite Sues were Maya, Dawn, Amelia, Rihanna, Belle and Nicola. and maybe also Saffron. But they were all awesome characters. So pat on the back for you! I didn't really have a favourite death scene, they were all fun, but Rose's, Melody's, Diamond's, Delia's and Crystal's were the hardest to write.
Which Sues did you create, if any?
Were you happy with the way I wrote your Sues?
Favourite Sue/s? (not your own)
Why?
Least favourite Sue/s?
Why?
Best line?
Best last line?
Best death?
Best couple?
Favourite chapter?
Opinion on the ending?
Ever consider submitting again?
Overall score out of 12?