Author's Note: For those of you who are not familiar with the Danish/English film "Help! I'm a Fish!" or "A Fish Tale"…you might want to watch one or two scenes from it. It'll make more sense as the story progresses. But even if you don't, you should be able to follow along okay. Also, for those of you who have read my Roger Rabbit story…yes, I will continue that in the future, don't worry. Now…on with this one! And have a happy 12/12/12!

Chapter One

The doorbell rang and Lulu opened the door. She was swept into a hug by one of her best friends, Alicia. "Oh, my God, I haven't seen you in FOREVER!" Lulu gushed.

"I know, right?" Alicia grinned. "I've missed you so much!" Lulu laughed.

"Come on, I've got the movie set up in the basement! We're gonna watch Finding Nemo after we watch A Fish Tale!" She pulled her friend through her house. The two almost looked like sisters: both had brown hair, brown eyes, and a love for animated movies. They walked down into the basement and sat down in front of the TV with bowls of popcorn and sugary drinks. This was Lulu's idea of Heaven.

"By the way, thanks again for introducing me to this movie," Lulu giggled as she popped in A Fish Tale. She had finally managed to convince her parents to buy her the Danish animated movie, and she couldn't stop watching it over and over again. She sighed dreamily a few minutes into the movie when a pilot fish and a shark appeared on screen. Alicia glanced at her.

"Who are you looking at?"

"Him," she replied, pointing at the pilot fish, Joe. "I love him." Alicia smirked.

"It sounds like Gill's got competition," she teased, referring to Lulu's fish crush from Finding Nemo, the Moorish idol that was the leader of the Tank Gang. Lulu blushed.

"Okay…number one…he's voiced by Wilhelm Dafoe," she swooned, launching into her typical fan-girl mode. Normally she didn't like the actor who had played the Green Goblin in the Spider-Man trilogy, but for Gill, she was willing to make an exception. "Number two…he's stoic, and I love stoic. Three…he'd be GREAT with kids!"

"Unlike Joe," Alicia muttered, and Lulu scowled mockingly at her.

"Hey…Joe had his moments. And he's voiced by Alan Rickman! Anyway, at least I'm not the one in love with icky, diseased birds!"

"Nigel is NOT diseased!" Alicia insisted, stiffening as Lulu mentioned the pelican that she was particularly fond of. "He is super cute and super nice…and funny and brave!"

"Yeah, you're right," Lulu admitted, then smiled. "I once read that pelicans have, like, three babies at a time. Nigel would be great with them."

"I know! You know, I always felt kind of bad for him at the end of the movie."

"Really, why?" Lulu asked, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Well, he returns Marlin and Dory to the ocean, and then flies away thinking that Nemo died…and he never really finds out that he survived, did he? Also, after the Tank Gang escaped to the ocean, he was all alone!" Alicia pointed out.

"He had the other pelicans," Lulu reminded her, but even she knew that this wasn't quite the same. Alicia shrugged.

"Anyway, would you want to have kids with Gill or Joe?"

"Totally," Lulu said at once. "And guess what? Apparently Moorish idols and pilot fish have the same breeding…style pattern thingies…and they reproduce the same way! Isn't that cool?"

"Depends on how they reproduce," Alicia yawned, unrolling her sleeping bag.

"They release their sperm and eggs into the water at the same time, and then the eggs drift away and if they aren't eaten by predators, they hatch and become baby fish!" Lulu explained in one breath. Alicia shot her a weird look, and Lulu huffed. "I think it's cool," she said haughtily, pretending to be offended. Alicia giggled.

"Anyway, you promised that we could go swimming tomorrow. Do you think we can do that?" Lulu lived across the street from the neighborhood pool, which was Olympic size, heated, and had two water slides.

"Sure," Lulu agreed. "I love the pool! But let's finish watching the movie first!"

They fell asleep after Joe died onscreen and his corpse drifted away in the water. For Lulu, the movie was boring without a hot villain.

"Behold the greatest pool ever!" Lulu bragged when they arrived at the vacant neighborhood club the next morning.

"Cool! Next I'll take a yacht, some helicopter lessons, a pet cheetah…you want me to be happy, don't you?" Alicia joked, quoting the Internet personality known as the Nostalgia Chick.

"Come on, let's get in!" Lulu said, pulling her friend towards the pool.

"Um, can I put on sunscreen first?" Alicia asked playfully. "You go ahead. I'll be in the pool in a second." Lulu had executed a perfect dive into the water before she had finished the sentence.

"Wow, this is a lot bigger than I remembered it!" Lulu thought to herself as she swam around. She had been practicing her breast stroke for a few minutes when she realized something was wrong. She had been holding in her breath for a really long time, but she didn't feel exhausted and her lungs weren't burning. Second of all, she couldn't see the bottom of the pool anymore! Had she wandered into the deep end by mistake? And third…the water tasted weird, and she didn't seem to mind it. She decided to swim to the surface for a closer look…Alicia would help her get a reality check, and maybe they'd just avoid the water and tan for a while before heading back to the house and watching episodes of Inuyasha. (Lulu made a mental note to stalk Netflix's employees until they added the complete series to Instant Watch.)

But when she reached the surface, only MORE things were wrong. First…she was by a fishing dock. There weren't any places like that by her house, and not any by the pool. Second, Alicia was missing. And third, she couldn't see the tops of her neighbors' houses! She glanced down at her reflection in the water, did a double-take, and flipped out.

"Holy cow, I'm a fish!"

Review, please! :)

And no, I don't live across the street from a heated swimming pool with two water slides…I wish I did. (And as long as I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony.)

I'll update tomorrow, I promise! And there will be better, longer chapters ahead! Get ready to be excited people, because I am on a roll!