Chapter 5: All or Nothing

Being back at school felt different to Ron, and not just because he and Hermione would probably never speak to each other again; the tension around campus was so thick it felt nearly like concrete. Classes had resumed as normal, yet everyone appeared to be terrified. People were startled at sudden noises, and no one lingered in open areas for too long anymore, nor did anyone appear to like walking about the corridors alone. Even though there had turned out to be no fatalities from the Death Eaters' attack, several students had been seriously injured. Several other students had been left with permanently disfigured faces, arms, or legs.

To help ease the constant feeling of fear that appeared to lurk in every corner of Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall had obtained from The Ministry constant supervision at school. Security was tight: an Identification Charm, which was updated every two weeks with a different code, had been inserted inside everyone's wand. No one could enter a classroom, their common room, the Great Hall, or even the library without signing in and out and having their wand scanned. This precaution was found to be most troublesome, for where it once would have taken seconds to enter the library or Great Hall, it now took - at times - half and hour of monotonous standing in line. In addition, there were now bizarre, hulking creatures patrolling the corridors and the grounds. Powerful, angry looking giants stood watch at the front gates day and night.

During his free time, Ron helped Harry prepare the search for the remaining Horcruxes. It sent his brain into a tailspin every time the two of them poured over all the information they could find in old codes and maps of the strangest places Ron had ever seen.

"There's a lot we've got to know, mate. Blimey, it's a lot," Ron would say wearily. He knew that Hermione had probably memorized every single word of the tomes that Harry spent so much time taking notes out of.

Ron knew that Hermione was also helping Harry, but doing so separately. Ron had taken great care to avoid her at all costs. It hurt his heart too much to be around her. He couldn't stop thinking about her, or about the wonderful time they'd spent together at The Burrow before she'd gotten her memory back: their shared kisses, the easiness around each other, their first time - it was all engraved in his memory.

Life went on. On more than one occasion, Ron found himself spending time studying with Lavender Brown.

"You're not thinking of getting that started back up again, I hope. I thought you were glad to be shot of her," Harry said.

"I don't know what I'll do. She's not that bad-"

"Are you mad? Don't you remember how you started hiding whenever a group of girls would walk by? How she was always clinging to you, like a giant squid, didn't you say?"

"I said that I don't know what I'll do. Besides, that was a long time ago," Ron snapped.

"Not that long," Harry muttered.

But a few days later, Seamus asked Lavender out, and the two became an inseparable pair soon after that.

One dreary Sunday afternoon, Ron found himself walking along the same corridor as Hermione, who was coming from the opposite direction. They were the only two people on the path. Ron's heart leapt at the unexpected meeting, but he set his mind quickly to walk by her without so much as a glance in her direction. He caught the look in her eyes before he was able to turn away, though. Feeling the same longing that her eyes seem to reflect, he felt compelled to say something to her, but he just couldn't… and she couldn't seem to speak to him either. So, with his hands habitually shoved in his pockets and her clutching her books tightly against her chest, they passed each other by without a word.

Yet, he heard it.

The sound of an unmistakable sob as he walked by, and he turned just in time to see her wipe angrily at her eyes. As she did, her bag slipped from her shoulder and fell to the ground, spilling most of the contents out. Books, rolls of parchment, quills and what looked to be a hair pin dropped to the ground noisily. Hermione stooped to pick up her things, crying, "Oh!" in frustration.

Ron felt glued to the spot, watching her scrambling to gather her things. He moved towards her, then paused, not sure what to do. There were now full blown tears sliding down her face.

What should I do? What the bloody hell should I do? Just walk away from her! But even as he told himself this, his feet were disobeying. Slowly, he went to her. He knelt quietly and picked up one of her quills, handing it to her. She's beautiful, even when she's crying, he thought.

Her hand shook as she accepted her quill from him. His emotions were whirling, but he didn't say anything. He looked at Hermione; she wouldn't catch his eye, but then she was speaking to him, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I said. For everything." She swallowed thickly, and looked up shyly for a brief second before continuing. "I know how it really was between us while we were at The Burrow. I had written it all down, everything. I know how you took care of me, and how close we were."

Ron wasn't sure if he had heard it right. Could it really be true? But she left him no chance to even attempt to question her. She spoke again quickly, as if afraid she'd lose courage if she didn't.

"It's just that when I read about the two of us… about the night that we…I was just so embarrassed. What I read… it just wasn't like me. Not that I haven't thought about being with you like that…but…I was so afraid that I had made a fool of myself that I accused you of something that I know you didn't do. I know the truth about you and me. I don't remember it, but from what I wrote, everything was like you said. Beautiful for us," her voice fell to an even softer tone, and she hung her head.

Ron didn't quite know what to say to her now. She seemed so vulnerable, so timid, so fragile. Part of him wanted to wrap her around his arms and hold her close, but he didn't want to get ahead of himself and do something that might upset her even more.

"And…and I wouldn't prefer being...being dead to being in love with you. I don't know why it was, but when I had the accident it was so much easier to admit that…to admit that…" Hermione broke off, sniffing. She wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve, looking utterly miserable.

"To admit what?" Ron asked her. He wanted to hear her say it first. He needed to hear the words from her. He would assume nothing.

Hermione was trembling all over. "To admit that I love you," she said in a hushed voice. She fidgeted with her hands nervously. "You hate me now, and I've ruined everything. I-"

"You haven't ruined anything," Ron said. "And I could never hate you." He stood up, and then helped her to her feet. He'd heard all he needed to hear. In the time it took for her to say those words, his broken heart came roaring back to life. Ginny had been right, gods love her.

Ron stood close to her, grabbing Hermione's hand. "I said some horrid things I didn't really mean before we left The Burrow, and for that I'm sorry, Hermione. I know my temper isn't the best-"

"No, it's okay. I was just as awful, with my accusations. I should never have said any of those things to you. I just felt so stupid at how I came on to you. I felt so foolish about the way I behaved. I'm just no good at telling you how I feel."

"I haven't been very good about showing you how I feel about you. If I had been better at showing you, maybe it wouldn't have taken me almost losing you for you to know how much I love you. And you didn't make a fool of yourself when you came into my room that night. It was wonderful, the most wonderful night of my life," Ron said.

Hermione blushed, giving him a small smile. "Now what?" she whispered.

Feeling bolder than ever, Ron went on, "I don't know about you, but if two people love each other like we do, they should be together."

Hermione looked up at him, and he grinned at her. "Do you mean it?" she asked.

"Bloody hell, I mean it. I want you to be my girl," Ron told her.

Now, Hermione laughed and jumped into his arms. "Yes, yes, yes, I will. I want to be with you," she said, as he held her tightly against him.

"Good," was all Ron said before kissing her hard. Thunder clapped in the distance, but there was only a sense of complete calm in Ron's heart.

"Ron, let's go somewhere we can be alone. I need that. I want that," Hermione said. He was loving the sound of her words. Loving her. Seizing her hand, he began to pull her in the direction he had been going.

"Come on, prefect's rooms are always empty-"

"Ron! Let's not break the rules, we can find somewhere to go outside!"

"Are you mad? Didn't you hear the thunder? It's about to rain. Come on, Grayson will let you up. He's a good bloke, despite being a troll. I've learned quite a lot about trolls, as a matter of fact. I've gotten to know him quite well. They're really just misunderstood creatures, sort of what you have always been saying about the house-elves. Anyway, have you updated your wand with the new password? "

"Yes, of course, Ron."

"Well, I've forgotten and Filch says he isn't doing any more updates until tomorrow morning. D'you know I couldn't get in the Great Hall earlier today? Would've starved if it hadn't been for Harry bringing me out some of that fried egg sandwich. I think I swallowed a bit of lint from his pockets."

Ron didn't even stop Hermione when she started to lecture him about keeping up with his security updates. He had missed the sound of her voice. He had missed everything, but he knew he would not miss it again. He was going to keep her forever.

THE END

Author's Note: This was actually the very first piece of fan fiction I ever wrote. Umm, one could say my writing has matured since 2007, lol. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Now, on to other stories I need to update ASAP. Thanks for reading!