the

F A L L

- BlindManOnLadder -

~ :i: ~

"Two men look through the same bars: one sees mud and one the stars"

- Frederick Langbridge -

~ I ~

"Terra, I want to introduce you to Celes. Guess what, she can use magic like you."

The emerald haired girl gazed hesitantly at the figure in front of her. She was much taller, with blonde hair pulled back in a band, and large lucid blue eyes, altogether much more dignified. The young girl tried to stand up on tip toes to reach the same height but she was still several inches shorter than the other girl. Eventually she gave up and stuck out her hand hesitantly.

"Hi, I'm Terra," she told the older girl.

Celes frowned at her. "I know, Cid just introduced us," she said matter-of-factly.

Terra's eyes dropped and she hung her head. "Oh." There was a short silence during which the two girls said nothing and Cid looked on bewildered. Finally, Terra looked up curiously and said, "So can you really use magic? I've never met anyone else who could!"

Celes grinned and nodded. "Watch," she instructed the younger girl, and then turned her attention to the cup in Terra's hand. Then, in surprise, the younger girl dropped the cup and it clattered to the ground, contents frozen solid. Celes burst out laughing and Terra stood still for a few moments, not knowing whether to laugh or be angry. Eventually, the older girl noticed Terra wasn't amused and adopted a contrite look.

"Sorry," she said apologetically and picked up the cup. She held it for a few moments then handed it back to the girl, liquid contents now sloshing around again. Terra looked into the cup in amazement and poked one finger in cautiously. Then she looked up in awe at the older girl. "That was amazing," she told her.

Celes blushed and wrung her hands together. "Thanks," she mumbled. "I learned how to do it myself. Want me to teach you?" she asked suddenly.

Terra's eyes lit up and she nodded quickly and vigorously. Celes held out her hand to the younger girl and they skipped down the hallway and off into the garden. Watching them from behind, Cid shook his head in amusement.

~ II ~

"Celes?"

"Mhmm?" the girl said absentmindedly as she braided her hair in a mirror.

"Have you ever been outside?"

Celes turned around and looked at her. "Of course, silly. We were outside in the garden just last week, remember?" She shook her head and turned back to the mirror.

Terra frowned and sat back on the bed. "That's not what I meant," she said.

"Well what did you mean?" the other girl asked her in bewilderment.

"I meant have you ever been outside the castle? I asked Cid where people got enough wood to build the great big table in the dining hall and he said there were trees hundreds of feet tall and five men holding hands couldn't wrap around their trunks. The ones in the garden aren't very big or very tall. Have you ever seen a hundred-foot-tall tree?" she asked earnestly.

Celes scoffed as she turned around from the mirror for the third time. "There's no such trees that tall."

Terra looked at her doubtfully before returning to her inquiry, "Oh, well have you ever been outside the castle?"

This time Celes stayed turned around, her braid forgotten and half finished behind her head. "Of course I haven't been outside. You know that's not allowed."

Terra nodded and stood up from the bed.

"I know," she said. "I was just wondering."

~ III ~

"No, Terra. I'm not going to do it and neither are you."

They were sitting in Terra's room again and outside the window afternoon was turning into evening. The shadows began to lengthen and the big orange sun was sagging lower in the sky. Terra had a pout on her face as she nudged her friend and pointed at the window.

"Come on, can't you see how pretty it is," she said gesturing outside.

"Yes, that's the point. Why can't you watch it from in here?" the older girl shot back.

Terra rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Look at the window," she pointed out. "It's like one-and-a-half feet by one-and-a-half feet. And anyway," she continued logically, "you can't even see it from this angle."

Celes sighed and put down the book she had been reading. "Terra you are not going to escape outside to watch the sunset."

The emerald haired girl pouted. "Come on Celes, we don't even have to go all the way outside. We can just go out into the garden."

The palace in Vector formed a U-shape around the garden at the center, in the middle of the three walls. Terra had noticed that the one only wall that wasn't covered was the direction that the sun set in. She couldn't help wondering if it had been built that way on purpose.

Celes shook her head laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Even that's not allowed. You've heard what everyone says, we're not supposed to be out after dark."

"Okay, you win," she sighed and stood up walking towards the bed. Then in one quick motion, she pivoted and sprinted for the door, grabbing Celes' book on the way for good measure. Before the older girl could register what was going on the door was swinging freely on its hinges and Terra's emerald hair was fanning out behind her as she ran down the hall.

"Terra, oh no you...ARGH!" Celes let out an uncharacteristic yell of frustration and paced around the room several times. Then setting her shoulders she sprinted out the door after Terra, pausing only to grab a basket on the way out. She navigated the hallways with the ease of someone who has spent every waking hour wandering them and ended up out in the garden. Turning around Terra smiled and patted the ground next to her, "I knew you would come."

Celes made her way over to the girl in long strides and smacked her on the back of the head. Terra looked up at her scratching her head and said, "I guess I deserved that one." She handed Celes her book, and the girl sat down gracefully beside her.

There was a long silence as the sun made its way across the sky and the lip dipped below the mountains on the horizon, with Terra looking up at the sky and Celes with her nose in the book. The sky was painted in brilliant pinks and purples that formed a backdrop for the brilliant orange sun. Presently, Terra turned to her friend and asked, "Isn't it pretty? Admit it, it was worth it." Celes looked up grudgingly. She had to admit it was pretty, but she wasn't ready to sympathize with the girl yet. "I'm just here to do the talking if we get caught. If anyone asks, we're looking for the pieces of glass for Cid to melt down and use in his new machine."

Terra nodded and turned back to the horizon, noting the other girl's line of sight passing over the top of the pages and out at the horizon. She hid a smile. The two girls sat side by side as the sun dipped below the mountains and darkness descended on the landscape.

~ IV ~

"How hard do you think it would be?" Terra asked, as the two girls were tending to the garden. The sun was high in the sky and blazing hot so the two girls took shelter under a tree.

Celes rolled her eyes as she looked at the other girl. "When are you going to learn to ask a question clearly?"

Terra ignored her. "Living in the wild out there. You know, camping, fishing, hunting. It can't be hard, and I suppose magic would help," she mused, letting a flame flicker across her fingers and then snuffing it out in a fist.

"Why do you ask so many ridiculous questions," the older girl asked, shaking her head in dismay. Terra looked at her surprised. "Don't you ever wonder?"

Celes shook her head. "Of course not," she said. "I have a bed, and roof, and three meals a day right here. Why should I worry about having to live in the wild?"

Terra looked around, the dreary landscape and gray stone walls looked back. The garden was the only spot of color as far as she could see from inside the castle. "Don't you ever get tired of this place?" she asked.

The older girl looked puzzled. "What's there to get tired of?" she asked, seemingly genuinely curious.

"Everything around us," Terra announced in exasperation and Celes looked uncomfortably around. But the garden was empty save for them two. "It's a world of panels and gray scales. Imagine the whole world out there just like this garden only a hundred times bigger. We could come and go as we pleased, eat whenever we wanted, and not have to tell Cid every damn time we want to go get a breath of fresh air!" Terra had grown progressively louder during her rant, and she looked around as if realizing for the first time what she had said. Quietly, she said, "We're living in a cage, and don't tell me you don't see it."

There was an extended silence as Celes said nothing and Terra fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Well say something," Terra told her and the older girl sighed.

"Look, Terra. Maybe we are living in a cage, but who's to say what's out there is better. The grass is always greener, right? And maybe you're right this industrial landscape is nothing to live for, but do you know what I see when I look out my window every night? Dirt, dead grass, and a dying world. Whatever is wrong with the world in here, I can assure you out there-" she pointed to the opening on the walls, "it's much worse."

She looked over at Terra and was surprised to see her shoulders slumped and her eyes downcast. Frowning, she put her hand around Terra's shoulder and leaned back against the trunk. "Look, there are worse places to be."

The girl nodded, her emerald head bobbing glumly and shook off her friend's arm and walked inside. Celes sighed, and after a while she followed her in.

~ V ~

"Celes how come you never come to see me anymore?" Terra asked as she cornered the girl in a room. "It seems like you're always off on some official business somewhere or other. I didn't know being a general was such a big deal."

The general smiled her apology. "I know Terra, I'm really sorry. I promise I'll work something out soon."

"How about tomorrow?"

A shadow crossed Celes' face and her gaze fell guiltily. "I can't tomorrow, I've got a meeting with the king of Figaro. The treaty is not on very stable legs and the emperor needs someone to go work things out."

"Figures," Terra said sarcastically. "And how is the emperor faring these days?"

Celes adopted a puzzled look, "I assume he is well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," Terra told her, trying and failing to keep a cold edge out of her voice that Celes didn't fail to notice.

"Terra, is something wrong?" she asked calmly.

"No, no, nothing's wrong. Of course nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I'm sure tomorrow's negotiations will go just as well as Maranda's."

Guilt turned to pain, and Terra knew she was on dangerous ground but she didn't care. "Please Terra, don-"

"Oh, please Terra, don't worry Terra, let's not talk about it Terra, why don't you go talk about it with the emperor then."

A hard light formed behind the general's eyes, a glare that dared her to continue, and for a moment Terra felt apprehensive. But she swallowed it down. "Fourteen dead," she said, now a whisper. "How can you continue to serve him."

So very rarely did Celes lose her composure. And when she did show emotion it was usually of the barest variety, happiness, displeasure, anger. She took two steps forward until she was directly in front of Terra. "And you," she jabbed a finger at the younger girl, "All high and mighty. Making judgements while you sit alone in your room all day. I am serving my state and my emperor in the way I know how, more than I can say for you."

Astonished, Terra looked up at her friend. In some ways, very little had changed since they were kids. Terra was still much shorter than Celes and now she stood on her toes once more as she opened her mouth. "You serve a corrupt state and a corrupt emperor," she spat. "You think this position as general gives you freedom, but it does nothing to lift the cage around you. In fact, it tightens it, and the only difference now is instead of just being a prisoner you're a puppet as well!"

Celes took another step forward and her extended finger now poked Terra in the chest. "The empire is not corrupt, you're just jealous I got the position instead of you. You witch."

"Take your hand off me," came the voice, low and cold. A fire burned behind Terra's eyes and Celes could feel the energy swirling just underneath the surface, but now it was directed at her. Celes backed away, and facing the emerald hair billowing around her face, she circled the girl and retreated out the door. It swung shut as she left as the light behind Terra's eyes as she felt the magic and adrenaline leave her. Then, as she slowly came to her senses, she fell to the floor shaking and a single tear fell down her cheek and onto the cold stone.

~ VI ~

"Get out of my way," the general roared as she shoved a sentry aside and barreled down a hallway.

Celes had been gone all day on a mission to Figaro and was tired and ready to sleep when she had returned to Vector. But as soon as she had come within sight of the castle she had sensed something was wrong. And then she saw the smoke. The envoy raced towards the huge stone walls of the city. A company split off to go identify the source of the fire, and the rest escorted General Celes into the castle.

She had been met by Cid at the steps of the entrance who had pulled her into a rough embrace. "Thank god you are alright."

She nodded and then pulled back. "What happened here?"

Suddenly, the man grew grim. Hesitating, he told her, "...Somebody...put fire to the soldier's barracks. The whole damn building went up in flames. Fifty of them killed in the blink of an eye."

"Who?"

The old man simply shook his head.

"Who was it?"

His eyes downcast, he muttered into the dark stone floors, "Kefka and Gestahl pushed her too far. They, they-"

"Cid, who burned the barracks."

He just looked on sadly, lost in the terror of the event.

She sprinted down the hallways and skidded to a stop in front of Terra's room, kicking open the door. The room was empty. Turning in her tracks, she ran blindly until she encountered a servant. "Where's Terra?"she asked urgently, fear rising in her voice.

The servant frowned. "That green-haired witch who burned the barracks? She was taken to the dungeons," she said contemptuously.

Celes left the servant behind before she was done speaking, sprinting for the stairs. As she reached the rickety tunnel that descended into the dungeon she heard an odd cackle. "Why General Celes, what brings you down here?"

From the darkness, stepped a flamboyant figure with a painted face, dressed in reds, yellows, and vibrant greens. He was smiling an inhuman smile as he slowly approached Celes. "Kefka, tell me where Terra is," she said softly.

The clown's smile grew even bigger, if possible. "Why I'm afraid she's...occupied at the moment, but you can go and see her tomorrow, I assure you," he said, giving her a little bow.

"I'm in no mood for your jokes, Kefka. Move out of the way or-"

Suddenly, his joking manner dropped and the temperature in the room seemed to plummet. "Or what, may I ask?" the clown asked, still smiling, eyes twinkling dangerously.

"Just move!"

"Well there's no need to be rude," Kefka assured her. "There'll be plenty of time to visit your little pet tomorrow." And he started up the stairway, leading Celes firmly, with an iron hand on her neck, back into the main castle.

He led her to her room, prodded her in and shut the door with a slam. She stood there for a moment before she sank to the floor slowly, and then General Celes cried. She cried for her imprisonment and for her blindness. She cried for stone walls and damp floors that now encased her friend. She cried for all that she had lost and all that she would lose. And she cried for Terra's ability to see through the bars and out into a lush, green world; and her inability to do the same.

~ VII ~

Celes returned to the dungeons the next day to find Terra gone. Cid told her that she had been assigned a mission to go to Narshe and retrieve an esper that had been uncovered in the mines.

"Terra? Cooperating with the empire?" she had asked him incredulously.

Cid had shook his head in sorrow. "I doubt she had much of a choice," he confessed. "She did kill fifty soldiers after all."

Celes had left after that, unable to hear anymore. She locked herself in her room for three days, leaving food that was pushed under the door untouched, watching as the plates piled up, rotted, and were set on by insects. She tried to cry, but she found she had no tears left. She spent the time looking out her tiny one-and-a-half foot by one-and-a-half foot window and trying to see things through Terra's eyes. But to her, the whole landscape, as far as she could see through her little window, was barren and dry and dead.

When General Celes emerged from her room after the third day she was a different person. To those with relations before, she had been gentle and kind, but slightly reserved. Now she was ice cold. She received the news of Bicks, Wedge, and Terra's death without flinching. She returned to her post as general and completed missions with ruthless efficiency, not balking at inhumanity and torture to achieve her goals.

One day, as she left the throne room after being debriefed, Emperor Gestahl smiled to himself. He was quite impressed with what they had created. He would need to congratulate Kefka on how expertly the whole situation had been orchestrated.

~ :i: ~

The caged bird sings
A fearful trill
Of things unknown
But longed for still
And his tune is heard
On the distant hill

For the caged bird sings of freedom