A Stranger

~Tactical Three~

A/N: You MUST have read Ghost of You for any of this to make sense. Enjoy!

So if you loved me,

Why'd you let me go?

-Violet Hill by Coldplay

As the polyjuice potion took effect he sat down on the bed watching his short, nail bitten fingers lengthen and marveled again at how quickly it had come to this. He was on track to be the youngest tactical leader in Auror history with this current case and was now booted back down to tactical three – where Auror's go to retire. Finesse had calmly told him it was for his own good. He had become "distracted and a danger to himself and those around him", but they were so desperately short it was better to bump him to three than to lose him altogether.

No matter how awful he felt it wasn't lost on Harry that even on his worst days he was still better than most of the Auror's in the field at the moment. He looked at his hands again the faint 'I must not tell lies' scar evaporating as he shifted into this new person. It was meant to be a demotion, a punishment for his sloppy loose cannon behavior but it was such a big relief he almost collapsed with gratitude when Finesse handed it down.

The rapid tapping of an owl at his window shook him from his contemplation and he stood to let the poor thing in. Amidst a flurry of snow and sleet the owl shook off the cold and held out her leg – another letter from Hermione. Harry sighed and paid the bird throwing the letter to the bed and sitting back down amidst the mess. His room was still a disaster from the last letter Hermione had sent over. They had been increasingly hostile toward his 'seemingly purposeful inability to pick up a pen to paper'.

He was so angry at that one he'd shattered another lamp and unwillingly caused a pillow to explode. The room was covered in a mess of clothes, candy wrappers, glass, and feathers, and, of course, letters. How Hermione could have so much time he would never understand. But, each letter from the night of Ginny's accident onward always contained three things: she still loved him; he needed to write to her; he was being an idiot.

He stretched out on the bed feeling his torso lengthen and contemplated for the thousandth time what he could possibly write back to either of them. He couldn't even think of her name without being filled with a swirling mess of emotions. Betrayal over what had happened between them. An all-consuming regret that it had caused a relapse for her. Hurt that Mrs. Weasley had told him he needed to stay away this time – that maybe it was better for both of them. Anger at Ron for being so hot-headed and single minded; but most of all he felt so desperately lonely. Ron hated him, Mrs. Weasley had made it clear some space was needed between him and possibly all the Weasley's, and Hermione was stuck in an impossible situation between the three of them. He hadn't even been able to tell Collette what had happened because thinking about it made his blood start to boil all over again. He was still constantly surrounded by people desperate to get on his good side and yet he had never felt more alone. Everyone close to him was out of reach.

With the polyjuice transformation complete he continued to lie on the bed waiting for his babysitter to come escort him to his sentry duty for the day. Apparently all it took for you to be humiliatingly demoted was to lose three tails, fall asleep during a stakeout, and accost a possible Muggle suspect in a pub. He put his unfamiliar hands over his unfamiliar face and let out a long groan. This was not how he wanted his Auror career to start out.

The door fired open and Collette leveled her livid eyes on him, "Tactical three?!"

"Collette," he started, then balked at the sound of his voice – high and whiny sounding. He wondered what kind of dodgy bloke he was forced to be for a moment before remembering the furious French woman steaming before him.

"Tell me." She demanded. "Zis must be zee reason you 'ave been demoted."

"I'm sorry." He automatically responded.

"Tell me what happened." She flicked her wand and the door slammed and popped with the sealing charm. "I am done playing zees games!"

"I can't." He looked away from her. "You have to stop asking me to tell you."

She had not let up for what felt like weeks. At first he was far too incensed to answer but as the hours had drug on he realized he was actually terrified to answer. If he was just angry everything still felt like it was in limbo, like he could apperate back to his room and she would still be standing there waiting for him. But then the days started to drag on with absolutely nothing from her and his limbo felt more like exile. Maybe he had waited too long and now he had lost his chance. It wasn't until he felt like he'd lost his chance that he realized why he was so terrified in the first place – despite everything, especially his lingering anger, he was still desperately in love with her.

"You will 'Arry Potter or I will extract it from you." She warned.

"You know I'm trained in Occlumency, right?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, the gesture feeling completely foreign on his new face.

"Oh I don't need that," she ominously warned, her wand sending off a shower of red sparks at the floor. His chest started to burn with the truth that longed to be set free. The truth that he still loved her, still wanted her, still needed her even though everything had gone so wrong. And the even harder truth that maybe Mrs. Weasley had been right – that maybe they were better off alone.

"There was a fight. Lots of yelling and glass." He exhaled.

"Glass?" Collette's eyebrows shot up into her hairline.

"I lost control, things started exploding." Harry mumbled and gestured to the ruined room.

"And then," Collette prompted, ignoring the mess.

"I left." He simply answered and looked her square in the face.

"But there is more isn't there? You've fought with Ginny before." Collette offered and he physically winced at the mention of her name. The window rattled and Collette crossed her arms over her chest giving him a defiant look.

"Don't make me do this." Harry warned.

"What did you do, 'Arry?" Collette's face dropped into shock and he stood from the bed.

"I accused her of so many things Collette. She'll never forgive me."

"You seem to somehow think she's innocent of her crimes. What changed your mind?" Her foot started tapping a fast rhythm against the worn carpet.

"She tried to…she took sleeping draughts…and they said that all she kept saying was my name before I got there."

"Oh my," Collette breathed, a hand flying to her cheek.

"And now I've been asked to stay away from her." Harry kicked a pile of clothes out his way as he attempted to pace the room

"By whom?" Collette's voice cut through his misery.

"Her mum, and her brother." He kicked his empty bag into the corner and let out a huff of frustration.

"Ron?" Collette started her tapping foot again as she contemplated.

Harry just nodded. He couldn't even bare to tell her about the infirmary and the yellow blanket. It was enough that he already regretted accusing her and thinking she was toying with him. She had obviously been distraught enough about it all to feel the need to almost harm herself. He let out a long, low groan and turned his back to Collette facing the window and the building storm outside.

"You must go to her. You must right this." Collette's voice seemed far away. He just nodded but knew there was nothing he could do. Even though everything within him knew he needed to find her, grab her, kiss and hold her until she loved him again - it was impossible. She was trapped at Hogwarts. He didn't ever want to see the inside of his flat again. And despite the building, burning need he had to right the situation he could never betray Mrs. Weasley like that.

"You must." Collette grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at her.

"And betray the only family I've ever known?" Harry snapped.

"Oh no…no my dear 'Arry – there are no rules when there is love involved." Collette squeezed his shoulder to accentuate the point.

"Easy for you to say." He grumbled and shook off her arm before attempting to leave.

"You know it's the truth." Collette retorted.

"What am I supposed to do Collette?" He turned toward her, "sneak into Hogwarts and find her? Kidnap her until she answers all my questions?"

"And beg. Lots of begging." Collette added with a nod.

"I will not beg." He growled. "There was fault on both sides. She betrayed me on so many different levels I'm still trying to figure it out."

"So it was Ginny that leaked the medical proxy news to zee media?" Collette raised an eyebrow.

"No." Harry pressed his lips tight across his face.

"Then she must 'ave betrayed you at zee hospital when you were bleeding all over your cot and withering in agony." Collette goaded, putting a hand on her hip.

"Stop." He warned, balling his fists.

"Or perhaps her betrayal of you came when she dropped everything she 'ad been working on at school and with her Quidditch to come to your aid." She took a purposeful step toward him, her boot crunching a piece of lamp.

"I'm warning you," he felt his blood start to heat.

"No – I know. How stupid of me. It must be zee confidentiality she's been keeping for you all term long – she 'as broken that somehow to zee press 'asn't she? I really thought zat story about you and zee Veela was pure speculation but…" Collette seethed and the glass of water on the bedside tables shook only for a moment before shattering into a wide spray of glass and droplets.

"How could she possibly still be in love with me after what happened between us?! I told her she was a stranger!" He yelled at her. Collette covered the space between them quickly and stopped inches in front of him to harshly whisper,

"Zat must be zee reason she was crying out your name even in her drug induced sleep." She gave him a hard look and then took a step back, "zey warned me about your temper. I wasn't prepared for your stupidity." With a turn on her heel she crunched out of the room.

Harry sank back down onto the bed and put his head in his hands willing the agony to stop washing over him in rippling, painful waves, but there was no release. He clawed at his hair, pulling at the unfamiliar curly roots and felt even more desperate. He couldn't even suffer through this punishment as himself. Everything started to build, ripple, crescendo in his skull like some awful orchestra of memory that he couldn't stop, deafening him to everything but his wildly beating heart in his chest until there was a loud SNAP. For a moment he thought it was his sanity, finally brought to its' breaking point and he opened his eyes and looked around to see what this new reality would bring but all that greeted him was a broken mirror and some other polyjuiced Auror standing dumbfounded in the doorway.

"Potter?"

"What?" His voice cracked as he barked it out.

"Time to go." The Auror quietly answered and quickly turned and left. He looked around the carnage of another room destroyed by his lack of control and took a long look at his fractured self in the mirror. A stranger. He was a stranger even to himself now. That was when his eyes fell on the letter still lying innocently on his hotel comforter. This letter – it was small, unlike the usual novels she forced the school birds to cart across England for her. Without even thinking about it he took the few steps over the crunching lamp pieces and grabbed the letter opening it with such force it fluttered out of the envelope and onto his unmade bed. It settled and he let his eyes look over the four sentences before they hit him square in the chest:

Harry – I'm making Ginny go with me to Muggle London today. I know you're there, and you better show up. She still loves you and I will never forgive you if you end it like this. 28117 Tenda, London – Spectacular Gowns.

-Hermione

He looked at his stranger self in the fractured mirror and then nodded. Hermione was right, one way or the other he needed to end this today. That way he and Ginny could both move on with their lives. If he was about to go on probation anyway for being such a loose cannon then he was going out with a bang. He wasn't doing his polyjuiced perimeter checking today – he was going to this Muggle dress store. He was going to talk to Ginny. He was going to break up with her. He was not going to be swayed by her tears, he was not going to allow anything Hermione was certainly going to berate into him sway his decision. He wasn't right for her, he kept hurting her, and because she was hurting it was destroying him. Mrs. Weasley was right – the only way to fix it all was to end it. If he loved her as much as he thought he did it was the right decision. He'd leave Ginny alone for the rest of her life…after today.