A/N: Enjoy this was meant to be a one shot but will be several chapters instead (sighs) curse my overactive imagination. With that said enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, but I wish I did

It was Ethical/Psychology. The class a hodgepodge mixture of ethics and the psychology and morality behind it. In the academy, it was one of the most controversial classes, and the one that often led to fights both verbal and physical.

Kirk was currently locked in a debate with the instructor, a grizzled once-ambassador, now teacher called Relik.

"There's always another chance, another way. I don't believe in no-win scenarios"

"Sometimes you can't win Mr. Kirk and you have to make a hard choice for the greater good."

"No you don't. You just have to find another choice."

"Do you wish to be argumentative?"

"No, I'm saying there's another option. You have to find it"

Professor Relik pursed his lips and glared up at Kirk then said "Mr. Kirk consider this situation. What if you were on a life boat in the middle of the ocean and had to push two people overboard so six could live what would you do?"

"Wonder why I was in a life boat in the middle of the ocean and curse the idiot who overfilled it"

There was scattered laughter throughout the class. Professor Relik glared at the culprits. He turned back to Kirk and said "Take the question seriously."

"Take it seriously, hmmm-okay" Kirk appeared to think "Find a better life boat I guess" Professor Relik was about to speak, but Kirk continued "But hold on that's not an option right? So….I'd" He scratched his head, like he was thinking deeply. Snickers were heard. Kirk suddenly looked up and asked "We all have clothes on, right?"

Professor Relik said dangerously quiet "Of course you all do, though I fail to see what that has to do with this scenario"

Kirk answered promptly "It has a lot to do with the scenario. If we're in the middle of the ocean there's a lot of sun. I don't want sunburn…plus if females are on the boat and they don't have clothes things could get…interesting. I might be too distracted to think of the situation."

There was more laughter.

"If you're not taking this seriously. I'll—"

"Wait, wait…I was just asking for background. Okay seriously. I would take the clothes and unravel some string... Find two tin cans." McCoy, who was sitting next to Kirk, sighed. He recognized where Kirk's line of thinking was going.

"What—" Professor Relik began

"Not finished, yet" Kirk said neatly cutting him off. "Find two tin cans and… a bird. Poke a hole in the bottom of each can and string the make-shift cord through. Then have the bird fly one can to the nearest land and voila instant phone. We can call for help."

The whole class broke out laughing. Relik turned a bright shade of red and once the class had quieted several minutes later said "Mr Kirk at the end of classes today, you will meet me in Renfield's office."

Kirk wasn't discouraged "I'll be happy to, do you want me to bring some champagne or something?"

The class started laughing again.

Professor Relik waited until it was quiet then said "I suggest you shut up Mr. Kirk, the only reason you're still in class right now is because I'm a bigger person then you are."

Kirk didn't say anything at first. When Relik turned away he muttered under his breath "It's obvious you're bigger" Professor Relik was more than a little overweight.

Relik was speaking again "Now back to what we were talking about: hard decisions. What people do when they have no clear cut answer? Can any of you think of some prominent examples from history?"

A girl near the front answered, but Kirk didn't catch her comment.

Relik nodded and said "Correct, Mrs. Hillel, but another prime example is the one we will be using for the final paper."

There was a collective groan at the mention of an assignment. Relic continued "You all will be writing a 65 page paper on hard decisions, specifically an analysis of" He stopped talking and tapped the view screen in front of him a series of pictures flashed across the screen. Desolate landscapes, a pile of bodies, ransacked buildings and troops marching by in uniforms that were familiar were skimmed through..

Kirk stopped doodling on his data PADD and stared in horror.

No it couldn't be. He knew what Relik was about to say before he could speak, the pictures had said more than words ever could.

"Tarsus IV, was a colony that in 2246 was struck by famine. Kodos the executioner ordered the execution of roughly half the inhabitants of the colony when food was low so that the other half could live. After the massacre there were only 9 survivors of those slated to die. The identities of the Tarsus 9 as they are called isn't known, Starfleet wished to allow them to have as normal a life as possible."

Relik paused and flashed through a few more pictures. Then he continued "The Tarsus IV massacre will be the focus of your assignment. A justification for Kodo's decision and viewpoint against should be included. Also there should be a perspective of the Tarsus 9. Extrapolate how they might feel about the event? What are the effects on them now? What was their perception during the massacre? "

Kirk was hyperventilating. His hands had started to shake. He couldn't take hearing the massacre he had witnessed talked about so casually. McCoy was looking at him oddly.

Relik walked back and forth in front of the grizzly images he was showing. "Kodos killed a lot of people and people think of him as a monster. But we all have to ask ourselves was he really so wrong? I personally think Kodos was trying to help and saw the option he took as the only way. Throughout history there have been many people who did the wrong thing for the right reasons. Perhaps Kodos believed he was helping? That is –"

"That's a DAMN LIE!"Kirk shouted .He had stood up and was shaking. Everybody was staring at him, but he didn't care.

"Excuse me, Mr. Kirk. If you have opinions then raise your hand and ask for permission to speak. Don't stand up and shout. Your antics are not funny." Kirk ignored him

"It's a damn lie" Kirk repeated. "It's bullsh—that Kodos thought he was helping anybody, that f—king bastard knew what he was doing when he murdered 4000 goddamn people in f—king cold blood! He didn't give a sh—about the colonists he saw the famine as an opportunity to start his eugenics program. That f-ker was waiting for an excuse to cull the useless"

Kirk finally paused for breath. There was complete silence; everybody's eyes were on him. McCoy was staring at him. Kirk was bright red in the face and breathing hard.

Relik finally spoke "Mr. Kirk get out of this class and do not come back until you have some self-control and have stopped being an attention seeking idiot. Which I suspect will never happen."

Kirk didn't care what Relik said. He had to leave anyway. Kirk grabbed his bag and shoved his data PADD in. He avoided McCoy's inquiring gaze. He had to get out of class. McCoy was staring at him and others were whispering about him. Kirk's face was turning pale, his hands still trembled and he felt sick. He slipped through the nearest exit doors, ran to the closet bathroom and threw up.

When he finished, he sat down on the cold tile and thought of what professor Relik had said. The man hadn't understood what he was talking about. Relik could talk about the massacre with clinical detachment because he wasn't one of the people who had witnessed it. He had never roamed streets slick with blood. He had never seen bodies piled higher than a horse's brow. He hadn't had over twenty children relying on him when he was only a child himself. He hadn't been tortured for hours to give up the locations of others and had to hold out to give them enough time to get away. He didn't have scars crisscrossing his body, from the time spent with Kodos' skilled interrogators, which he had to lie to people about.

He hadn't had to watch as the children he had sworn he would protect had died one by one.

Kirk sat on the bathroom floor for over two hours, missing his next class. Finally he heard the door open and a familiar voice say "Jim you in here?"

Kirk didn't answer. He hoped Bones would leave. But McCoy didn't instead he said "Jim, I know you're in here. One of the cadets saw you come in here and your boots are poking out from under a stall door." Kirk glanced at his feet and saw that was true.

Before Kirk could move, the stall door opened and McCoy looked in with a worried expression on his face. "You okay?"

Kirk gave a weak smile "I'm fine. I think I've got some of that stomach flu that's going around.

McCoy continued to stare at him. Kirk looked away. "What was that back there Jim?"

"Nothing, I just got tired of Relik talking like he knew everything"

McCoy didn't say anything

Kirk looked up and tried to put his old grin on as he said "did you see that old bastard's face?"

McCoy wasn't smiling instead he said "Yeah I saw. But there was more to what you said then trying to tick Relik off. What's going on?"

"Nothing"

"It can't be nothing; you pretty much had a panic attack at the mention of Tarsus IV."

Kirk stood up and brushed his clothes off. "It's nothing. I just wanted to piss Relik off."

"Jim, I—"

"Drop it Bones! Stop psychoanalysing me. You don't have a goddamn idea what the hell you're talking about!" Kirk glared at him.

McCoy narrowed his eyes, then said "Fine, keep whatever it is too yourself."

"I will"

McCoy turned and walked out. After a moment Kirk followed.

For those of you who read my profile (if any). This story will not contain Sulu's worst memory you'll have to wait for part three. I appreciate any and all reviews, especially concrit.