Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or the Characters. If I did, I would be
so happy! But then I don't, so I guess that makes me not happy. But then,
why am I still happy? eh, it's me ^^
Warnings: I have no idea, there's some shounen-ai, but that's about it. Nothing too serious, just a VERY OOC Hee-chan, I'm afraid. I'm sorry all you die-hard Heero fans! there's obviously 1+2, some 5+2, hints towards 4+2... and I guess you can take some of the Trowa and Quatre scenes as 3+4... right then... let's see how I do, huh? Oh yeah... Trowa's part in this fic isn't really solid, more like quick appearances, since he doesn't seem to fit in here, for some odd reason... gomen all die-hard Trowa fans and 3+4 fans.
~*~*~*~
Duo Maxwell sighed as he strolled around the mansion, it was another 'ever- so exciting day' at their mansion(one of Quatre's of course). With a yawn, the American looked out a large picture window, and saw Heero Yuy and Relena Peacecraft.
The pacifist princess was hanging all over the Japanese pilot, trying to coo sweet nothings in his ear, but Heero would always just look in another direction, thus moving his ear away from her.
Duo was really bored at the moment. But he always running out of ways to traumatize Relena. Then he grinned, devillishly, Heero might wanna kill him later, but it would traumatize the little princess for a good 3 years, more or less. Or maybe Heero would just be relieved enough not to wanna kill Duo, once Relena would run away, screaming. Or sobbing.
With an affirming nod, Duo dashed out the door and up to the so-called young lovers.
"What do you think you're doin with my partner!?" he shouted.
Relena looked at Duo, indifferently, then she looked at Heero again, smiling, dreamily. Suddenly she was puckering up, bringing Heero down to her height, or at least trying, but Heero stood rigidly, refusing to budge. Then Relena was being shoved away, roughly.
"Shame on you! Touching my partner like he was just a piece of meat!" Duo scolded as he draped an arm over Heero's shoulders. The Japanese pilot looked at the American, wondering what he was up to.
"Duo Maxwell, get lost!" Relena screeched.
Duo cringed inwardly at the pitch in her voice, Heero shook his head, to clear the ringing in his ears.
Then Duo turned to Heero, "you okay, partner o' mine?" he asked, with a wide grin.
"And why do you keep calling him 'partner'... are you crazy?!" Relena screeched. Again Duo cringed, as did Heero.
Okay, time to traumatize the little princess, Duo thought, evilly.
"Easy, he's my partner", he responded.
"Whaat?!" Relena screeched. Duo never cringed that time, he was expecting it.
"See? Watch..." with that Duo kissed Heero right on the mouth!
Relena's jaw dropped, her eyes welled with tears, "omigod!" she gasped, then she ran away, part screaming, part sobbing.
Duo released Heero, and watched Relena, running away, waving her arms around over her head, screeching out, "HEERO! HOW COULD YOU!?" and all that.
Duo burst out laughing at such a spectical. Then he froze once he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, Duo swallowed nervously, then he turned to Heero.
"Thank you, Duo..." he said, softly.
Duo sighed in relief, "no problem... I know you don't like Relena... er, do you?" he asked, doubtfully.
Heero shook his head, and took a step closer to the American.
"Uh, what's up?" Duo asked, hesitantly, taking a step back.
"Thank you", Heero repeated.
"Oh, heh... yeah, I already said it was no problem, alright? Uhh, I'll see ya later," Duo said, slowly, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason. So he backed away from Heero and dashed back into the mansion.
***
"Hey Quatre, what's with Heero?" Duo asked once he got back inside.
Quatre Winner lowered his novel, "what?" he asked.
"What's with Heero, he's been actin kinda weird, lately," Duo told the younger boy.
"Weird..? Oh you mean... yeah, it'll go away soon," Quatre assured the braided boy, then started reading again.
"Huh?" Duo asked, confused. "Say what, Quatre?" he demanded, pulling the novel away from the Arabian's face, who looked surprised.
"Er, I mean... heh, what'd I say?" Quatre asked, sheepishly.
"What'll go away?" Duo asked, again.
"Quatre! C'mere!" Trowa called from the kitchen.
"Excuse me, Duo," Quatre said, politely, then the arabian got up from the sofa and walked briskly to the kitchen. Duo flopped down, and played with his braid.
"Don't say a word, okay?" he heard Trowa say quietly. Instantly curious, Duo sat up, and turned to the direction the voices were coming from.
"I think he should know," Quatre argued.
"So do I, but then me and Wufei think it should wait, until he's ready."
"Okay... until he's ready, then."
"Not a word."
"Yes, not a word, until he's ready," Quatre promised, then he returned, sat back down, opened his book and started merely reading again.
"Ready for what?" Duo asked.
"Hmm?" Quatre asked, not looking up from his novel.
"What can't you tell me, until I'm ready?"
Quatre nearly dropped his book, his eyes wide. "What?!" he choked out, "Duo! Eavesdropping is rude!"
"Don't give me that, Quatre... keeping secrets about someone who lives under the same roof as you isn't exactly polite, either," Duo pointed out. "Now what can't I know, until I'm ready?" he demanded.
Quatre blinked, "when you're ready for what?" he asked, innocently.
"Quatre!" Duo said, warningly.
"I really, honestly don't get what you mean, Duo," Quatre said, slowly.
Then Heero entered the living room. "Sorry... am I interrupting something?" he asked, eyeing Quatre, darkly.
Duo blinked at the dirty looks Quatre was getting from Heero. Heero treated Quatre almost like he was a little brother. Almost. Heero has a lotta mood swings though, Duo thought, so he decided to stay out of their little feud.
Quatre fidgeted, uncomfortably. "I think I'll go start dinner," he mumbled, then he closed his novel over the bookmark, as he got up, and walked rigidly towards the kitchen.
Duo glanced at Quatre making his hasty exit. And in the corner of his eye, Duo could have sworn he saw Heero smile... in thanks? uh-oh, what'd I do, now? Duo found himself wondering. That kiss, maybe? But that was just to get rid of Relena, Duo assured himself.
Heero sat on the sofa, next to Duo silently. It was very quiet in the livingroom, it almost scared the braided boy.
***
Wufei entered the kitchen through the sliding glass door. "What's going on?" he asked, once he saw both Pilots 03 and 04 working on dinner, already.
"Heero just chased me outta the living room, so I decided to start dinner," Quatre answered, with a shrug.
"Why?" Wufei asked. Trowa shrugged, not knowing the answer himself.
"I guess he has to have a talk with Duo," Quatre replied.
Wufei raised an eyebrow and looked at Trowa who glanced back at him. "Uh- oh," they both muttered in unison.
***
"Uhhhh, Heero, about earlier..." Duo started to say.
"What about it?" Heero asked, not looking at the American. Whom fidgeted slightly.
"It was just to get rid of Relena, you know that right?" Duo asked, hesitantly. "And you said thanks too, right? So you can't be angry, right?"
"Yes, I know it was to get rid of Relena, and yes, I did say 'thank you', and no, I'm not angry," Heero answered.
"Well... that's good," Duo said, with a sigh of relief.
"What I am angry at, is the fact that you haven't done it sooner."
"Huh? Oh, you mean to get rid of Relena..? Well the thought just sorta came to me once I saw you guys... I figure she'll be gone for a year... maybe three, ya think so?" Duo asked, somewhat cheerfully. "I figure three years, because she avoided us for almost a year when I just hugged you at the beach once, remember?" Duo laughed at the memory.
"Thank you for that, too, Duo." Heero said, softly.
"Hey no problem... what're friends for, right?" Duo asked, with a grin.
Suddenly, Heero was grabbing Duo's hand, leaning into him, making the American lean back so there would be at least a little space between themselves. "Duo, listen to me, I really should tell you this now..." Wing's pilot said, almost eagerly.
"Sure... go ahead, what's on your mind?" Duo asked, perplexed by Heero's odd behavior. Heero wasn't even talking his usual way, either.
"Heero! Duo! Dinner!" Quatre called, almost hastily.
Heero seemed to be frozen in time, he swallowed, then quickly dropped Duo's hand and hastily made his way to the dining room. Duo sat up, scratching the back of his head. What the heck was wrong with Heero?
***
"You called us for dinner, and the table's not even set?!" Heero said, in disbelief.
"I'm sorry Heero, but I need help with the table setting," the Arbian blurted out.
Heero glared at him, but Quatre merely smiled, innocently. Finally, he agreed to help with the preparations, or at least take over the job himself, because Quatre said he wanted to talk to Duo.
"Duo, I gotta talk to you about something..." he whispered.
"Huh? Oh, sure... what's up?" Duo asked as he was being lead a few feet away from Heero and Trowa, who were setting the table.
"Uhhh, about earlier... when you asked about Heero..." Quatre started to say.
Duo nodded, "yeah... you gonna tell me?"
Quatre fidgeted, "well..." he said, slowly, "Heero, kinda has a thing for... someone, under this roof, and, uhhh..."
Suddenly, everything became as clear as day! Duo's cobalt blue eyes widened, "Heero?!" he choked out, Quatre nodded.
"Heero?!" he yelped.
"uh-oh..." Quatre muttered and lead Duo down the hall, into the study.
"Heero?!" Duo yelped again, as Quatre closed the door.
Quatre nodded, "you got it," he responded, shortly.
"Heero?! And you?!" Duo gasped, the Arabian's eyes widened.
"No, Duo!" he said, exasperated.
Duo grinned, "gotcha..." then he went back to his panicked stage. "Heero?! And me?!" he choked out, Quatre sighed and nodded.
"When did all this happen?!" he cried, then he covered his mouth, hastily, in fear of attracting Heero's attention.
"A while ago... we didn't wanna tell you because you'd panic... and right now you are," Quatre said, with a shrug.
Duo paced back and forth. "Oh man! Oh man! Geezus!" he groaned in disbelief.
"It's not that big a deal, Duo..."
"It IS a big deal... I kissed him!"
"WHAAT?!" Quatre yelped, in disbelief.
Duo waved his hands around, hastily, "no! No! Nothin like that! I just wanted to get rid of Relena... and after I did, Heero only said thank you, so I assumed he wasn't... angry... oh my god..." Duo fell to the floor, trying to catch his breath.
"He wasn't thanking me for getting rid of Relena... he was... oh my god..." Duo gasped out, "I-I can't breathe!" he said, hoarsely, struggling to catch his breath.
Quatre quickly knelt beside him, and pounded on his back, "hey, calm down... it's no big deal," he reassured him, Duo shook his head, violently.
"It IS a big deal! Heero's... Heero's been after me, and I've been mocking him, just to get on Relena's nerves..."
"Duo..." Quatre shook his head, sighing.
Duo was now facedown in the carpet, muttering, "oh my god..." over and over.
"Heero's started developing a thing for you ever since you got him out of that OZ medical center... just thought you should know..." Quatre smiled, and patted Duo's back. "I think it's sweet... you charmed your way into the heart of the Perfect Soldier."
Duo sat up, and glared at him, "a Perfect GUY Soldier!" he pointed out, Quatre shrugged.
"Quatre, I'm not gay!" Duo yelled, then he covered his mouth again, in fear of calling someone's attention. The blonde boy sighed.
"Right, if you say so..." he mumbled, as he stood up.
Duo grabbed his wrist, "what..? What did you say?" he choked out.
"Duo, you must be gay, if Heero's attracted you."
Duo's jaw dropped, "but I prefer company of the female persuasion!" he yelled, not bothering to cover his mouth this time.
But then Duo did often catch himself staring at Heero from time to time. What if he was gay!? No! No, I'm not! Duo thought, firmly. Quatre decided to take the braided boy's silence as his cue to leave. So he did.
***
"Well? what'd he say?" Heero asked, quietly, Quatre stopped and looked at Heero, who was leaning against the wall. The Arabian shrugged.
"Quatre... what did he say?" Heero repeated
"He panicked..." Quatre answered, finally. Heero sighed and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.
"He's sure he's not... that way, Heero... he's positive... you can't convert a guy just by telling him you like him," Quatre went on, watching the pilot with concern and sympthy. Heero nodded. They both stood in the dark hallway, in silence.
* * * * *
Duo stalked up the long driveway, shuddering at the sight of the pink limo. He rung the doorbell, scratching the back of his head, feeling a bit awkward, but he really needed to talk to the resident of the large palace. Pagen, the butler/chauffeur/counsellor, opened the door, "yes?" he said, stiffly.
Duo blinked, what was holding this old geezer together? He shook his head, "uhhh, yeah... is Relena in?" he asked.
Pagen raised a bushy white eyebrow, "who's calling?" he asked.
Calling? Duo wondered, then he remembered that meant who's asking, but in a more polite way.
"Duo Maxwell..."
"A suitor?" Pagen asked.
Duo blinked, suitor? What the heck was that again? Oh yeah, a guy who wants to marry someone. So Pagen was asking if Duo wanted to marry the little pacifist prin...
"Oh, hell no!" Duo spat.
Pagen's other bushy eyebrow was raised. "Only suitors may see Relena as soon as possible... you must set an appointment if you are not a suitor."
Duo sighed, "look, just tell her Duo Maxwell wants to talk to her, okay?" he said, exasperated.
"Set an appointment," was all Pagen said, as he started to close the door. Duo immediately stuck his foot in the doorframe, keeping the old butler from closing the door.
"Fine, fine! I'm a suitor! One of the best... and, I wanna marry Relena, okay?!" he said, impatiently, almost wanting to shoot himself for saying such a thing.
***
Relena combed her already smooth, shining hair, humming to herself, yet another suitor has arrived, to ask for her hand. Then a knock at the door, "come in", she called, melodiously. The door opened, Relena kept her back at the door, trying to appear coy... or was it shy? She couldn't remember, but then what difference did it make?
"Hey!" a vulgar voice said, impatiently.
Relena froze, then she slowly turned around, seeing a boy with a long chestnut braid, and a crude expression on his slightly handsome face.
"DUO MAXWELL?!" she screeched.
Duo covered his ears. "Geez! Can you ever talk, normally?" he muttered, in disgust.
"You are not my type, Duo! Get out! I am not marrying you, of all people!" she stomped her foot.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Gee, how will I ever live on, without the love of a pacifist princess," he said, with so much sarcasm it nearly flooded the room.
"Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"
"Will you shut up!?" Duo snapped.
"PAGEN!" Relena shouted.
"SHUT UP!" Duo shouted, luckily his voice was much louder then Relena's, so she had no choice but to be quiet.
"Now, obviously I don't wanna marry you... your voice would make me wanna jump off the Empire State building... er, if it were still around..." Duo said, with a shrug. "And you'd be a widow, heaven forbid... it's about Heero, alright?" he said, a bit more calmly.
Relena frowned, "your partner?" she said, with as much sarcasm as she could muster, but Duo barely heard her tone. The American flopped down in a leather armchair, and helped himself to some of the chocolates that sat in a bowl on the coffeetable.
Relena glared at him, but she sat across from him, waiting to hear him out. "Name all the things I did to Heero, that bugged you the most," Duo commanded.
Relena sniffed, "everything."
"Anything more specific?" Duo asked, with a roll of his cobalt blue eyes.
"When you hugged him and you were only wearing swimming trunks at the beach."
"What else can a person wear at the beach?" Duo asked, sarcastically.
Relena ignored him, "and 2 days ago, when you had the GALL TO KISS HIM!!!" she screeched.
Duo cringed again, and tossed the chocolate wrapper on the floor, as he sat up, eyeing the princess, darkly. "He likes me, Relena."
Relena rolled her sea green eyes, "puh-lease... spare me the made-up, yet grisly details!" she scoffed.
"I'm serious, Relena... he likes me, in that way... and I'm wondering if you had anything to do with it."
Relena looked at Duo in surprise, "excuse me?" she asked, confused. "How would I have anything to do with it?!" she demanded.
Duo shrugged, "let's be honest, little princess, you're not exactly the hottest little tamale on Earth, you have no figure... your voice is a combination of fingernails on a chalkboard and tires squealing against the pavement... you stalked Heero everywhere, from Siberia, to outer space... I'm pretty sure you have obssessive compulsive behavior... your barbie pink limo... the way you always expect to have your way... Heero told me about the way people acted when he had the 'honor' of getting an invitation to your little sweet fifteen party... " Duo droned on, dully, as he ticked them off on his fingers.
Relena gritted her teeth, and clenched her tiny hands into fists, "GET TO THE POINT, DUO!" she shrieked.
Duo shrugged, "my point is... you converted Heero's sexuality, now he's gay, and he thinks of me as dating material."
Relena screamed, and started throwing things at the american, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" she screamed.
Duo easily dodged the lamps, china plates, china cups, candy bowls, vases, and the phone. "I'll call on you some other time then, little princess!" he called over the screaming and crashing, then he left, two more vases crashing into the doorframe.
Relena stood there, panting, a plate raised over her head, in case she had to throw it, then Duo popped back in.
"Converter!" he said, loudly.
Relena screeched some incomprehensible curse words at Duo, and hurled the plate at him, but Duo was already closing the door, and then he left the premises.
***
"Quatre!" Duo called.
Quatre looked up from his novel, "in here!" he called back. The American peered into the library.
"Where's Heero?"
Quatre blinked, "Heero?" then the Arabian smiled and jumped to his feet. "So you're willing to give him a chance! Duo, that's great! I'll go get him!" he offered, and started for the door.
Duo grabbed Quatre's collar and pulled him back into the den, pushing the younger boy against the wall. "You'll do no such a thing! I'm trying to avoid him, not trying to find him!" he hissed.
Quatre raised an eyebrow, "Duo... even if it's kind of awkward, it's still love," he told him, gently.
Duo's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, "are you listening to yourself, Quatre!? Heero has the hots for me! Heero?! The Perfect Soldier who wouldn't hesitate to kill a 9 year old..." he cried.
Quatre rolled his blue-green eyes. "Now you're exaggerating," he scoffed.
"Okay, maybe a bit," Duo admitted with a shrug. "But if it's Duke Dermail Jr. then Heero would kill him!" he pointed out. Then the braided boy lowered his head, releasing Quatre's collar and resting his hands against the wall, sighing in exasperation.
Quatre patted Duo's shoulder, "it's okay, Duo... I'm here for you..." he told him, assuringly.
"Omae o Korosu!" a familiar japanese voice said coldly, causing Duo and Quatre to freeze.
Slowly they turned to the door, seeing Heero Yuy!
"Heero! It's not what it looks like!" Quatre cried, Duo blinked, not quite understanding, then he looked at what he was doing.
He had an arm on either side of Quatre, preventing Quatre from leaving! Like Duo was putting the moves on the small Arabian! And Quatre's hand was still on Duo's shoulder! The sympathetic smile Quatre was giving Duo was definitely no help! And what Quatre just finished saying was the icing on the cake! Duo whipped his hands back.
"Heero! Calm down!" Quatre said slowly.
"Omae o korosu..." Heero repeated, darkly. Duo cringed, waiting to hear his name.
"... Quatre!" Heero finished.
"Quatre?! Hey, waitasec, Heero!" Duo protested.
Too late, Duo realized as Heero lunged at Quatre, the Arabian yelped and left the den in the blink of an eye, Heero at his heels. Duo scratched the back of his head, what just happened?
***
"Get back here!"
"It's not what you think, Heero!" Quatre yelled.
Wufei blinked, and watched Heero and Quatre run by the livingroom.
"WUFEI!" Quatre shouted as he ran by.
Wufei raised an eyebrow, "yeah?" he asked as Quatre ran by again, Heero close behind.
"HELP!" Quatre yelled as he ran by yet again.
Wufei smirked, and strolled up to the door, and saw a platinum haired teenager run by, in a split-second Wufei stuck out his foot, sending the Arabian's chaser sprawling to the floor. Quatre stopped and leaned against the wall, clutching his chest, panting, "thank you..." he wheezed.
"What did you do, Winner? I thought Yuy liked you, or something along those lines?" he asked, confused.
"Heero... he... Heero thinks I was letting Duo hit on me..." Quatre explained, between breaths.
Wufei raised an eyebrow, then he burst out laughing.
"I'm serious Wufei! Heero's jealousy is something to be reckoned with!" Quatre cried.
"So should I hit on you to prove your point?" Wufei asked, dryly.
Quatre blinked, "huh?" he asked, confused. "Oh... no, Wufei... Heero likes Duo, and he's angry at me because he thinks I was letting Duo hit on me," Quatre explained again.
Wufei fell over, laughing hysterically, as he pounded on the floor, "this is too much!" he howled out. "Maxwell was hitting on you?!" he asked as he shouted out his glee.
"No, Wufei..." Quatre said, with surprising patience, "it's all a simple misunderstanding."
Heero slowly got up, "misunderstanding, my foot!" he snarled, Quatre yelped again, and made a mad dash down the hall.
Wufei got up, wiping his eyes, then started to stroll around the mansion. He had to find Duo.
***
Duo sat under the sink, struggling to close the cupboard, finally he managed, "geez, didn't think I grew this much..." he grumbled, as he tried to uncross his legs, in a vain attempt to get a bit comfier then he already was. "Ow!" he grunted as his knee hit his chin, hard. Then the cupboard door was opened, and Duo fell out, landing at the feet of... someone who had a very powerful air. The American looked up, seeing Wufei.
"Tell me Maxwell... what's it like having Heero threaten Quatre for your love?," Wufei asked, with a smirk.
Duo sat up, and glared at the Chinese pilot, "what?!" he snapped.
Wufei started laughing again. "You're speechless!" he choked out, between laughter.
Duo struggled to stand up, "shut up, Wufei!" he ordered, he winced as his leg started to cramp up.
"Ow! ow! ow! Damn cupboard!" Duo grumbled. Then as he started to tip over, hastily Duo grabbed Wufei's shoulders, leaning on him, "OWWWWW!" he wailed, as he clung to Wufei.
"You're such a weakling! Get offa me!" Wufei snapped.
"Ow! Come one Wufei, I need you!" Duo snapped.
"Yeah, I really need you, too... but now's not the time!"
"Gee, Wufei, you flatter me."
"Omae o korosu..." a VERY familiar voice hissed.
Duo and Wufei both froze, seeing in the corner of their eyes, none other then a pilot with Prussian blue eyes. Wufei and Duo both looked at each other, then Heero, then each other again.
Duo pushed Wufei back. "Alright, that's enough!" he said, calmly.
"Shut up, Maxwell!" Wufei snapped. "You're only making it appear worse!"
Duo shrugged, "my leg's fine now," he told him.
"Well, that's good," Wufei said, snidely.
"Who do you think you're fooling!? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!" Heero snarled, and lunged at Wufei, who frowned, wondering if he could take on Heero. But even Wufei had his limits, so... Wufei ran out of the kitchen.
"DAMN YOU, MAXWELL!" he yelled.
Duo blew a kiss, just to try and tick Wufei off further, but it wasn't Wufei who saw. He froze, seeing Heero smile at him, "er... yeah... for you, Heero," Duo said, hastily, not wanting to be on Heero's bad side.
After they were gone, Quatre was crawling into the kitchen, his tongue lolled out, panting. "Water... water..." he wheezed.
"Geez, you live in the deserts of Arabia and you can't handle Heero chasing you". Duo muttered. Then, with a roll of his eyes, he lifted up Quatre and sat him on the counter, then gave him a glass of water.
"Thank you," Quatre said, gratefully, and started drinking greedily.
"Well, one thing's for sure... no need to enter any marathons, we both know you wouldn't be able to handle it," Duo commented.
Quatre lowered the empty glass, "believe me, Duo... being chased by an angry Heero is like being chased by a dozen angry Wufei's," he said, as he filled up the glass again, and drank that, just as fast. Duo shuddered, one angry Wufei was bad enough. Was an angry Heero that bad?
***
Wufei frowned, as healthy and agile as he was, it was pretty much just a fraction of what Heero was capable of, especially if he was angry as he was right then. Wufei found himself needing a rest, already.
"A LITTLE HELP!" Wufei yelled as he ran by the kitchen. Quatre sighed, he couldn't just leave Wufei like that, he tightened his runners, knowing he was gonna regret this once it started.
"Ready?" Duo asked, Quatre nodded.
The American cleared his throat, "Quatre, do you honestly feel that way about me?!" he said, loudly.
Quatre sighed, then he nodded, it was now or never. And Wufei needed help. "YES, DUO..." he bellowed, "I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL! FORGET HEERO! COME AWAY TO ARABIA WITH ME!"
Wufei raised an eyebrow, then he looked over his shoulder at Heero, the Japanese pilot's eyes were narrowed, "Winner, omae o korosu!" he snarled, and ran by Wufei to get to Quatre.
The Arabian yelped at the very sight of Heero, and made a mad dash out of the kitchen and down the hall, just like before.
Wufei walked into the kitchen, wiping his brow, panting lightly. "He's got more stamina and speed when he's ticked," he commented.
Duo nodded, "I noticed," he muttered and handed Wufei a pitcher of water. The chinese boy drank it, greedily.
After he lowered the empty pitcher, "doesn't all this feel odd, Maxwell?" Wufei asked.
Duo shrugged, "at first, yeah... but he's not hitting on me or anything, so I just live with the fact that he, uhh..." he paused, not knowing what phrase to use.
"... Has the hots for you..?" Wufei offered.
Duo shuddered, but he nodded, "yeah, that," he grumbled. "He's just a little... over-protective, that's all," he added, trying to convince himself, more than Wufei.
***
Quatre sighed, as he paced himself, somehow managing to stay a few feet ahead of Heero. "Take Duo to Arabia, will you?!" Heero shouted, Quatre got ready to reply, until he heard the doorbell.
He started to head back to the kitchen, "WUFEI!" he called.
Wufei grimaced, "fine... fine..." he grunted. Then he glared at Duo, "don't get any ideas, I'm only doing this for Quatre's sake," he muttered. Duo snickered and nodded.
"Quatre! C'mere!" Duo called.
"What should I do?" Wufei asked.
"Not a thing..."
"Huh?"
"He's four seconds behind me!" Quatre called.
"Gotcha..." Duo thought with a grin. He was really, seriously gonna regret this later on. Duo counted in his head, once Quatre ran by. Then Duo grabbed Wufei and kissed him right there! But with Duo's fast tricks it looked like Wufei was putting on the moves!
"Damnit, Chang! I'll kill you!" Heero shouted, and dashed into the kitchen, straight at Wufei.
"MAXWELL, YOU LUNATIC!" Wufei shouted in rage, as he ran away, wiping off his mouth.
"IT WASN'T EXACTLY THE KISS OF TRUE LOVE FOR ME, EITHER..." Duo retorted, loudly, then he started spitting in the sink, and drinking straight from the faucet.
***
Quatre finally got to walk, he appreciated every second of it, as he strolled to the door, and pulled it open, "R-Relena?!" he gasped out.
"Hello, Quatre... I've come to talk to Heero... to let bygones be bygones... that silly little incident that occurred 5 days ago, I'm willing to put it behind me..." Relena said, smiling sweetly.
"Umm, well, you see, Relena... things are a bit hectic right now, so... yeah, maybe you should go," Quatre suggested, with a forced polite smile.
"Hectic..? In what way? Perhaps I can help..." she offered, as she tried to step inside.
"Oh, uhh...", Quatre grumbled, and stepped in the princess' way. "It's not something you can really... handle at the moment, Relena," he said, hastily, smiling apologetically.
"Excuse me?!" Relena said, in mild disgust. "I'm a Peacecraft! If we can achieve true peace, then we can easily handle a little household mishap," she snapped.
Quatre shook his head, "not this kind of mishap..." he muttered.
Relena started to go around, but Quatre quickly cut her off. "Is that a new dress?!" he blurted out.
Relena looked confused, then she looked at her dress, "why yes... you're the first to notice it... how did you know..? Waitasecond", Relena glared at the Arabian. "Quatre... please let me in," she ordered, politely. But, before Quatre could answer...
"TOUCH DUO AGAIN, AND IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD, CHANG!" Heero shouted.
"UGH! YOU'LL BE DOING ME A FAVOR IF YOU KILL ME! I THINK I'M TRAUMATIZED!" Wufei shouted back.
"HIS KISSES ARE PERFECT! WHAT'RE YOU BABBLING ABOUT!?"
"YOU LIKE IT WHEN HE KISSES YOU?!"
"YES!"
That one short conversation caused the Princess to faint.
***
Relena struggled to wake up, groggily, she found herself gazing into blue eyes. "Oh Heero... I knew it wasn't true... you're not attracted to Duo... are you?" she cooed.
"You kidding? Duo's the love of my life... and you, Relena Peacecraft are a stalker with mental problems, and a really ugly limo... I HATE PINK! Plus, it's not your color..."
Relena sat bolt upright. "What?!" she screeched, then saw that she was looking into Duo's cobalt blue eyes, and not Heero's prussian blue eyes.
"Duo Maxwell, you disgusting, vile, sorry excuse for a human being!" Relena shouted.
Duo ignored her, as he rolled on the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically.
"Here, Relena," Quatre said, offering a glass of water.
Relena sat the water aside, "where's Heero? I'm here to talk to him, not to deal with Duo's immature antics," she said, coldly.
"Immature antics?" Duo asked, confused, then he grinned. "Oh, I get it! You think I was imitating Heero's voice, earlier, like I just finished doing!" he started snickering again. "I admit I can copy his voice... and Wufei's... and Quatre's... it's Trowa's I can't really do[1]... but everything you heard, when you arrived, little princess..? Wasn't me," Duo snickered at Relena's confused and shocked expression.
"You mean, earlier..? When I arrived, was... was... Heero!?" she gasped.
Duo nodded, grinning widely. Relena fell off the table, sending the American into another fit of hysterical laughter, he slapped his knee, trying to catch his breath, but to no avail.
Even though Duo heard all it all, and it did make him uncomfortable, Relena's response made it worth it!
Duo knelt in front of Relena, "hey, you always wanted Heero to chase you, right?" he asked, grinning.
Quatre shook his head, signalling Duo to stop while he was ahead, but Duo ignored him. He wanted to get some fun out of the entire situation of Heero having... 'the hots' for him.
Relena looked at Duo, puzzled, "excuse me?" she asked, supiciously.
Duo smiled innocently, "I can make Heero chase after you, that is if you're willing..." he offered.
Relena looked away, in a snobby way, "to trust you, Mr. Maxwell, is to trust a man eating lion," she sniffed.
"You're not in my tastes, Relena," Duo responded, not missing a beat of the small insults passed between them. "Take my offer, or leave it."
Relena looked at him in the corner of her eyes, then she looked at him, fully. "You're lying..." she said, bitterly.
Duo shrugged, "not really... I'm serious Relena, I can get Heero to chase after you," he repeated.
Relena placed her fingers to her lips, thoughtfully, contemplating what to do. Perhaps Duo could do such a thing, he had skills that even Relena had to admit were impressive. Must be from being homeless, she figured, then she held out her hand to Duo.
"Very well, Duo, I accept," she said, regally, then she glared at him as Duo merely looked at her hand as if it were contaminated. "Duo!" Relena snapped.
With a roll of his eyes, Duo grabbed her hand, firmly and roughly began to shake her hand, as well as Relena.
"Duo..." Quatre scolded.
The braided boy merely grinned. "Wufei! How ya doin?" he called.
"I think I'm dehydrating!" Wufei yelled back, as he made his way back to the kitchen. Quatre was already filling a pitcher with water for the Chinese pilot.
"Alrighty..." Duo said, rubbing his hands together, briskly, then he turned to Relena. "Let's do this, close your eyes," he ordered, the princess glared at him but did as he said.
Duo glanced at Quatre and handed him his gun.
"What's this for..?" the Arabian asked.
"I'll wanna shoot myself after what I'm about to do... don't let me."
Quatre raised an eyebrow but nodded.
Duo cleared his throat, "Relena..." he said, in a perfect imitation of Heero's voice! Quatre's jaw dropped at Duo's ability.
"Heero?" Relena gasped.
"Open your eyes, and I'll kill you," Duo said, darkly.
Quatre stifled his laughter with his hand, that did seem like the kind of thing Heero would say if he was in a severely bad mood.
"What's..?" Relena started to ask.
"Kiss me, Relena... this will be your only chance, understand? This and no other!" Duo said, coldly. Quatre raised an eyebrow, instantly understanding why Duo gave him his 9mm right then.
"6 seconds behind me!" Wufei shouted.
Duo counted in his head once Wufei ran by, "now!" he ordered.
Relena never hesitated, as she leapt into Duo's arms, and kissed him, noisily.
Wufei skidded to a stop, at the other kitchen door, his dark eyes wide in shock.
"Chang!" Heero shouted.
Wordlessly, Wufei pointed at Relena and Duo.
Heero froze, and glared at Relena, harshly, "Relena Peacecraft!" he hissed.
Relena released Duo, "oh Heero..." she cooed, then she opened her eyes, seeing Duo.
The American was sputtering and gagging, "WATER!" he gasped out.
Relena glared at him "why you..!" then she looked at Heero, "Heero?! It's not what it looks like, honest! Don't be jealous of Duo!" Relena pleaded.
Heero's grip on the gun tightened, "omae o korosu, Relena... AND THIS TIME I WILL!" he shouted.
"He's jealous of you, Relena! Run!" Quatre shouted.
"Of me..?" Relena asked, confused.
"Yeah, Heero likes Duo, or didn't you know?" Wufei asked, with a smirk.
Relena ignored him and made a mad dash out of the kitchen. "DUOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screeched as she ran, Heero at her heels, yelling out Japanese curses.
Quatre handed Duo a glass of water, who was wiping off his mouth, and spitting in the sink. "Ugh! That was sick! I hate to admit it, but Wufei you kiss better then her!" Duo gagged.
Wufei glared at him, "shut up, baka!" he snarled.
Quatre laughed, lightly, and handed the tired Wufei the full water pitcher, the chinese pilot guzzled it down, greedily, while Duo gargled with the water Quatre gave him.
"Duooooo..." he imitated in disgust, "I'm amazed she never loses her voice, the way she's always screaming her head off," Duo grumbled.
************
[1] I dunno, Duo just struck me as the type of person who can imitate voices... heh, gomen ^^
************
let's hope I can keep going with this... I think I have another chapter... but it'll probably be shorter than this one... nuts
Warnings: I have no idea, there's some shounen-ai, but that's about it. Nothing too serious, just a VERY OOC Hee-chan, I'm afraid. I'm sorry all you die-hard Heero fans! there's obviously 1+2, some 5+2, hints towards 4+2... and I guess you can take some of the Trowa and Quatre scenes as 3+4... right then... let's see how I do, huh? Oh yeah... Trowa's part in this fic isn't really solid, more like quick appearances, since he doesn't seem to fit in here, for some odd reason... gomen all die-hard Trowa fans and 3+4 fans.
~*~*~*~
Duo Maxwell sighed as he strolled around the mansion, it was another 'ever- so exciting day' at their mansion(one of Quatre's of course). With a yawn, the American looked out a large picture window, and saw Heero Yuy and Relena Peacecraft.
The pacifist princess was hanging all over the Japanese pilot, trying to coo sweet nothings in his ear, but Heero would always just look in another direction, thus moving his ear away from her.
Duo was really bored at the moment. But he always running out of ways to traumatize Relena. Then he grinned, devillishly, Heero might wanna kill him later, but it would traumatize the little princess for a good 3 years, more or less. Or maybe Heero would just be relieved enough not to wanna kill Duo, once Relena would run away, screaming. Or sobbing.
With an affirming nod, Duo dashed out the door and up to the so-called young lovers.
"What do you think you're doin with my partner!?" he shouted.
Relena looked at Duo, indifferently, then she looked at Heero again, smiling, dreamily. Suddenly she was puckering up, bringing Heero down to her height, or at least trying, but Heero stood rigidly, refusing to budge. Then Relena was being shoved away, roughly.
"Shame on you! Touching my partner like he was just a piece of meat!" Duo scolded as he draped an arm over Heero's shoulders. The Japanese pilot looked at the American, wondering what he was up to.
"Duo Maxwell, get lost!" Relena screeched.
Duo cringed inwardly at the pitch in her voice, Heero shook his head, to clear the ringing in his ears.
Then Duo turned to Heero, "you okay, partner o' mine?" he asked, with a wide grin.
"And why do you keep calling him 'partner'... are you crazy?!" Relena screeched. Again Duo cringed, as did Heero.
Okay, time to traumatize the little princess, Duo thought, evilly.
"Easy, he's my partner", he responded.
"Whaat?!" Relena screeched. Duo never cringed that time, he was expecting it.
"See? Watch..." with that Duo kissed Heero right on the mouth!
Relena's jaw dropped, her eyes welled with tears, "omigod!" she gasped, then she ran away, part screaming, part sobbing.
Duo released Heero, and watched Relena, running away, waving her arms around over her head, screeching out, "HEERO! HOW COULD YOU!?" and all that.
Duo burst out laughing at such a spectical. Then he froze once he felt a hand rest on his shoulder, Duo swallowed nervously, then he turned to Heero.
"Thank you, Duo..." he said, softly.
Duo sighed in relief, "no problem... I know you don't like Relena... er, do you?" he asked, doubtfully.
Heero shook his head, and took a step closer to the American.
"Uh, what's up?" Duo asked, hesitantly, taking a step back.
"Thank you", Heero repeated.
"Oh, heh... yeah, I already said it was no problem, alright? Uhh, I'll see ya later," Duo said, slowly, suddenly feeling nervous for some reason. So he backed away from Heero and dashed back into the mansion.
***
"Hey Quatre, what's with Heero?" Duo asked once he got back inside.
Quatre Winner lowered his novel, "what?" he asked.
"What's with Heero, he's been actin kinda weird, lately," Duo told the younger boy.
"Weird..? Oh you mean... yeah, it'll go away soon," Quatre assured the braided boy, then started reading again.
"Huh?" Duo asked, confused. "Say what, Quatre?" he demanded, pulling the novel away from the Arabian's face, who looked surprised.
"Er, I mean... heh, what'd I say?" Quatre asked, sheepishly.
"What'll go away?" Duo asked, again.
"Quatre! C'mere!" Trowa called from the kitchen.
"Excuse me, Duo," Quatre said, politely, then the arabian got up from the sofa and walked briskly to the kitchen. Duo flopped down, and played with his braid.
"Don't say a word, okay?" he heard Trowa say quietly. Instantly curious, Duo sat up, and turned to the direction the voices were coming from.
"I think he should know," Quatre argued.
"So do I, but then me and Wufei think it should wait, until he's ready."
"Okay... until he's ready, then."
"Not a word."
"Yes, not a word, until he's ready," Quatre promised, then he returned, sat back down, opened his book and started merely reading again.
"Ready for what?" Duo asked.
"Hmm?" Quatre asked, not looking up from his novel.
"What can't you tell me, until I'm ready?"
Quatre nearly dropped his book, his eyes wide. "What?!" he choked out, "Duo! Eavesdropping is rude!"
"Don't give me that, Quatre... keeping secrets about someone who lives under the same roof as you isn't exactly polite, either," Duo pointed out. "Now what can't I know, until I'm ready?" he demanded.
Quatre blinked, "when you're ready for what?" he asked, innocently.
"Quatre!" Duo said, warningly.
"I really, honestly don't get what you mean, Duo," Quatre said, slowly.
Then Heero entered the living room. "Sorry... am I interrupting something?" he asked, eyeing Quatre, darkly.
Duo blinked at the dirty looks Quatre was getting from Heero. Heero treated Quatre almost like he was a little brother. Almost. Heero has a lotta mood swings though, Duo thought, so he decided to stay out of their little feud.
Quatre fidgeted, uncomfortably. "I think I'll go start dinner," he mumbled, then he closed his novel over the bookmark, as he got up, and walked rigidly towards the kitchen.
Duo glanced at Quatre making his hasty exit. And in the corner of his eye, Duo could have sworn he saw Heero smile... in thanks? uh-oh, what'd I do, now? Duo found himself wondering. That kiss, maybe? But that was just to get rid of Relena, Duo assured himself.
Heero sat on the sofa, next to Duo silently. It was very quiet in the livingroom, it almost scared the braided boy.
***
Wufei entered the kitchen through the sliding glass door. "What's going on?" he asked, once he saw both Pilots 03 and 04 working on dinner, already.
"Heero just chased me outta the living room, so I decided to start dinner," Quatre answered, with a shrug.
"Why?" Wufei asked. Trowa shrugged, not knowing the answer himself.
"I guess he has to have a talk with Duo," Quatre replied.
Wufei raised an eyebrow and looked at Trowa who glanced back at him. "Uh- oh," they both muttered in unison.
***
"Uhhhh, Heero, about earlier..." Duo started to say.
"What about it?" Heero asked, not looking at the American. Whom fidgeted slightly.
"It was just to get rid of Relena, you know that right?" Duo asked, hesitantly. "And you said thanks too, right? So you can't be angry, right?"
"Yes, I know it was to get rid of Relena, and yes, I did say 'thank you', and no, I'm not angry," Heero answered.
"Well... that's good," Duo said, with a sigh of relief.
"What I am angry at, is the fact that you haven't done it sooner."
"Huh? Oh, you mean to get rid of Relena..? Well the thought just sorta came to me once I saw you guys... I figure she'll be gone for a year... maybe three, ya think so?" Duo asked, somewhat cheerfully. "I figure three years, because she avoided us for almost a year when I just hugged you at the beach once, remember?" Duo laughed at the memory.
"Thank you for that, too, Duo." Heero said, softly.
"Hey no problem... what're friends for, right?" Duo asked, with a grin.
Suddenly, Heero was grabbing Duo's hand, leaning into him, making the American lean back so there would be at least a little space between themselves. "Duo, listen to me, I really should tell you this now..." Wing's pilot said, almost eagerly.
"Sure... go ahead, what's on your mind?" Duo asked, perplexed by Heero's odd behavior. Heero wasn't even talking his usual way, either.
"Heero! Duo! Dinner!" Quatre called, almost hastily.
Heero seemed to be frozen in time, he swallowed, then quickly dropped Duo's hand and hastily made his way to the dining room. Duo sat up, scratching the back of his head. What the heck was wrong with Heero?
***
"You called us for dinner, and the table's not even set?!" Heero said, in disbelief.
"I'm sorry Heero, but I need help with the table setting," the Arbian blurted out.
Heero glared at him, but Quatre merely smiled, innocently. Finally, he agreed to help with the preparations, or at least take over the job himself, because Quatre said he wanted to talk to Duo.
"Duo, I gotta talk to you about something..." he whispered.
"Huh? Oh, sure... what's up?" Duo asked as he was being lead a few feet away from Heero and Trowa, who were setting the table.
"Uhhh, about earlier... when you asked about Heero..." Quatre started to say.
Duo nodded, "yeah... you gonna tell me?"
Quatre fidgeted, "well..." he said, slowly, "Heero, kinda has a thing for... someone, under this roof, and, uhhh..."
Suddenly, everything became as clear as day! Duo's cobalt blue eyes widened, "Heero?!" he choked out, Quatre nodded.
"Heero?!" he yelped.
"uh-oh..." Quatre muttered and lead Duo down the hall, into the study.
"Heero?!" Duo yelped again, as Quatre closed the door.
Quatre nodded, "you got it," he responded, shortly.
"Heero?! And you?!" Duo gasped, the Arabian's eyes widened.
"No, Duo!" he said, exasperated.
Duo grinned, "gotcha..." then he went back to his panicked stage. "Heero?! And me?!" he choked out, Quatre sighed and nodded.
"When did all this happen?!" he cried, then he covered his mouth, hastily, in fear of attracting Heero's attention.
"A while ago... we didn't wanna tell you because you'd panic... and right now you are," Quatre said, with a shrug.
Duo paced back and forth. "Oh man! Oh man! Geezus!" he groaned in disbelief.
"It's not that big a deal, Duo..."
"It IS a big deal... I kissed him!"
"WHAAT?!" Quatre yelped, in disbelief.
Duo waved his hands around, hastily, "no! No! Nothin like that! I just wanted to get rid of Relena... and after I did, Heero only said thank you, so I assumed he wasn't... angry... oh my god..." Duo fell to the floor, trying to catch his breath.
"He wasn't thanking me for getting rid of Relena... he was... oh my god..." Duo gasped out, "I-I can't breathe!" he said, hoarsely, struggling to catch his breath.
Quatre quickly knelt beside him, and pounded on his back, "hey, calm down... it's no big deal," he reassured him, Duo shook his head, violently.
"It IS a big deal! Heero's... Heero's been after me, and I've been mocking him, just to get on Relena's nerves..."
"Duo..." Quatre shook his head, sighing.
Duo was now facedown in the carpet, muttering, "oh my god..." over and over.
"Heero's started developing a thing for you ever since you got him out of that OZ medical center... just thought you should know..." Quatre smiled, and patted Duo's back. "I think it's sweet... you charmed your way into the heart of the Perfect Soldier."
Duo sat up, and glared at him, "a Perfect GUY Soldier!" he pointed out, Quatre shrugged.
"Quatre, I'm not gay!" Duo yelled, then he covered his mouth again, in fear of calling someone's attention. The blonde boy sighed.
"Right, if you say so..." he mumbled, as he stood up.
Duo grabbed his wrist, "what..? What did you say?" he choked out.
"Duo, you must be gay, if Heero's attracted you."
Duo's jaw dropped, "but I prefer company of the female persuasion!" he yelled, not bothering to cover his mouth this time.
But then Duo did often catch himself staring at Heero from time to time. What if he was gay!? No! No, I'm not! Duo thought, firmly. Quatre decided to take the braided boy's silence as his cue to leave. So he did.
***
"Well? what'd he say?" Heero asked, quietly, Quatre stopped and looked at Heero, who was leaning against the wall. The Arabian shrugged.
"Quatre... what did he say?" Heero repeated
"He panicked..." Quatre answered, finally. Heero sighed and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.
"He's sure he's not... that way, Heero... he's positive... you can't convert a guy just by telling him you like him," Quatre went on, watching the pilot with concern and sympthy. Heero nodded. They both stood in the dark hallway, in silence.
* * * * *
Duo stalked up the long driveway, shuddering at the sight of the pink limo. He rung the doorbell, scratching the back of his head, feeling a bit awkward, but he really needed to talk to the resident of the large palace. Pagen, the butler/chauffeur/counsellor, opened the door, "yes?" he said, stiffly.
Duo blinked, what was holding this old geezer together? He shook his head, "uhhh, yeah... is Relena in?" he asked.
Pagen raised a bushy white eyebrow, "who's calling?" he asked.
Calling? Duo wondered, then he remembered that meant who's asking, but in a more polite way.
"Duo Maxwell..."
"A suitor?" Pagen asked.
Duo blinked, suitor? What the heck was that again? Oh yeah, a guy who wants to marry someone. So Pagen was asking if Duo wanted to marry the little pacifist prin...
"Oh, hell no!" Duo spat.
Pagen's other bushy eyebrow was raised. "Only suitors may see Relena as soon as possible... you must set an appointment if you are not a suitor."
Duo sighed, "look, just tell her Duo Maxwell wants to talk to her, okay?" he said, exasperated.
"Set an appointment," was all Pagen said, as he started to close the door. Duo immediately stuck his foot in the doorframe, keeping the old butler from closing the door.
"Fine, fine! I'm a suitor! One of the best... and, I wanna marry Relena, okay?!" he said, impatiently, almost wanting to shoot himself for saying such a thing.
***
Relena combed her already smooth, shining hair, humming to herself, yet another suitor has arrived, to ask for her hand. Then a knock at the door, "come in", she called, melodiously. The door opened, Relena kept her back at the door, trying to appear coy... or was it shy? She couldn't remember, but then what difference did it make?
"Hey!" a vulgar voice said, impatiently.
Relena froze, then she slowly turned around, seeing a boy with a long chestnut braid, and a crude expression on his slightly handsome face.
"DUO MAXWELL?!" she screeched.
Duo covered his ears. "Geez! Can you ever talk, normally?" he muttered, in disgust.
"You are not my type, Duo! Get out! I am not marrying you, of all people!" she stomped her foot.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Gee, how will I ever live on, without the love of a pacifist princess," he said, with so much sarcasm it nearly flooded the room.
"Get out! Get out! GET OUT!"
"Will you shut up!?" Duo snapped.
"PAGEN!" Relena shouted.
"SHUT UP!" Duo shouted, luckily his voice was much louder then Relena's, so she had no choice but to be quiet.
"Now, obviously I don't wanna marry you... your voice would make me wanna jump off the Empire State building... er, if it were still around..." Duo said, with a shrug. "And you'd be a widow, heaven forbid... it's about Heero, alright?" he said, a bit more calmly.
Relena frowned, "your partner?" she said, with as much sarcasm as she could muster, but Duo barely heard her tone. The American flopped down in a leather armchair, and helped himself to some of the chocolates that sat in a bowl on the coffeetable.
Relena glared at him, but she sat across from him, waiting to hear him out. "Name all the things I did to Heero, that bugged you the most," Duo commanded.
Relena sniffed, "everything."
"Anything more specific?" Duo asked, with a roll of his cobalt blue eyes.
"When you hugged him and you were only wearing swimming trunks at the beach."
"What else can a person wear at the beach?" Duo asked, sarcastically.
Relena ignored him, "and 2 days ago, when you had the GALL TO KISS HIM!!!" she screeched.
Duo cringed again, and tossed the chocolate wrapper on the floor, as he sat up, eyeing the princess, darkly. "He likes me, Relena."
Relena rolled her sea green eyes, "puh-lease... spare me the made-up, yet grisly details!" she scoffed.
"I'm serious, Relena... he likes me, in that way... and I'm wondering if you had anything to do with it."
Relena looked at Duo in surprise, "excuse me?" she asked, confused. "How would I have anything to do with it?!" she demanded.
Duo shrugged, "let's be honest, little princess, you're not exactly the hottest little tamale on Earth, you have no figure... your voice is a combination of fingernails on a chalkboard and tires squealing against the pavement... you stalked Heero everywhere, from Siberia, to outer space... I'm pretty sure you have obssessive compulsive behavior... your barbie pink limo... the way you always expect to have your way... Heero told me about the way people acted when he had the 'honor' of getting an invitation to your little sweet fifteen party... " Duo droned on, dully, as he ticked them off on his fingers.
Relena gritted her teeth, and clenched her tiny hands into fists, "GET TO THE POINT, DUO!" she shrieked.
Duo shrugged, "my point is... you converted Heero's sexuality, now he's gay, and he thinks of me as dating material."
Relena screamed, and started throwing things at the american, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" she screamed.
Duo easily dodged the lamps, china plates, china cups, candy bowls, vases, and the phone. "I'll call on you some other time then, little princess!" he called over the screaming and crashing, then he left, two more vases crashing into the doorframe.
Relena stood there, panting, a plate raised over her head, in case she had to throw it, then Duo popped back in.
"Converter!" he said, loudly.
Relena screeched some incomprehensible curse words at Duo, and hurled the plate at him, but Duo was already closing the door, and then he left the premises.
***
"Quatre!" Duo called.
Quatre looked up from his novel, "in here!" he called back. The American peered into the library.
"Where's Heero?"
Quatre blinked, "Heero?" then the Arabian smiled and jumped to his feet. "So you're willing to give him a chance! Duo, that's great! I'll go get him!" he offered, and started for the door.
Duo grabbed Quatre's collar and pulled him back into the den, pushing the younger boy against the wall. "You'll do no such a thing! I'm trying to avoid him, not trying to find him!" he hissed.
Quatre raised an eyebrow, "Duo... even if it's kind of awkward, it's still love," he told him, gently.
Duo's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, "are you listening to yourself, Quatre!? Heero has the hots for me! Heero?! The Perfect Soldier who wouldn't hesitate to kill a 9 year old..." he cried.
Quatre rolled his blue-green eyes. "Now you're exaggerating," he scoffed.
"Okay, maybe a bit," Duo admitted with a shrug. "But if it's Duke Dermail Jr. then Heero would kill him!" he pointed out. Then the braided boy lowered his head, releasing Quatre's collar and resting his hands against the wall, sighing in exasperation.
Quatre patted Duo's shoulder, "it's okay, Duo... I'm here for you..." he told him, assuringly.
"Omae o Korosu!" a familiar japanese voice said coldly, causing Duo and Quatre to freeze.
Slowly they turned to the door, seeing Heero Yuy!
"Heero! It's not what it looks like!" Quatre cried, Duo blinked, not quite understanding, then he looked at what he was doing.
He had an arm on either side of Quatre, preventing Quatre from leaving! Like Duo was putting the moves on the small Arabian! And Quatre's hand was still on Duo's shoulder! The sympathetic smile Quatre was giving Duo was definitely no help! And what Quatre just finished saying was the icing on the cake! Duo whipped his hands back.
"Heero! Calm down!" Quatre said slowly.
"Omae o korosu..." Heero repeated, darkly. Duo cringed, waiting to hear his name.
"... Quatre!" Heero finished.
"Quatre?! Hey, waitasec, Heero!" Duo protested.
Too late, Duo realized as Heero lunged at Quatre, the Arabian yelped and left the den in the blink of an eye, Heero at his heels. Duo scratched the back of his head, what just happened?
***
"Get back here!"
"It's not what you think, Heero!" Quatre yelled.
Wufei blinked, and watched Heero and Quatre run by the livingroom.
"WUFEI!" Quatre shouted as he ran by.
Wufei raised an eyebrow, "yeah?" he asked as Quatre ran by again, Heero close behind.
"HELP!" Quatre yelled as he ran by yet again.
Wufei smirked, and strolled up to the door, and saw a platinum haired teenager run by, in a split-second Wufei stuck out his foot, sending the Arabian's chaser sprawling to the floor. Quatre stopped and leaned against the wall, clutching his chest, panting, "thank you..." he wheezed.
"What did you do, Winner? I thought Yuy liked you, or something along those lines?" he asked, confused.
"Heero... he... Heero thinks I was letting Duo hit on me..." Quatre explained, between breaths.
Wufei raised an eyebrow, then he burst out laughing.
"I'm serious Wufei! Heero's jealousy is something to be reckoned with!" Quatre cried.
"So should I hit on you to prove your point?" Wufei asked, dryly.
Quatre blinked, "huh?" he asked, confused. "Oh... no, Wufei... Heero likes Duo, and he's angry at me because he thinks I was letting Duo hit on me," Quatre explained again.
Wufei fell over, laughing hysterically, as he pounded on the floor, "this is too much!" he howled out. "Maxwell was hitting on you?!" he asked as he shouted out his glee.
"No, Wufei..." Quatre said, with surprising patience, "it's all a simple misunderstanding."
Heero slowly got up, "misunderstanding, my foot!" he snarled, Quatre yelped again, and made a mad dash down the hall.
Wufei got up, wiping his eyes, then started to stroll around the mansion. He had to find Duo.
***
Duo sat under the sink, struggling to close the cupboard, finally he managed, "geez, didn't think I grew this much..." he grumbled, as he tried to uncross his legs, in a vain attempt to get a bit comfier then he already was. "Ow!" he grunted as his knee hit his chin, hard. Then the cupboard door was opened, and Duo fell out, landing at the feet of... someone who had a very powerful air. The American looked up, seeing Wufei.
"Tell me Maxwell... what's it like having Heero threaten Quatre for your love?," Wufei asked, with a smirk.
Duo sat up, and glared at the Chinese pilot, "what?!" he snapped.
Wufei started laughing again. "You're speechless!" he choked out, between laughter.
Duo struggled to stand up, "shut up, Wufei!" he ordered, he winced as his leg started to cramp up.
"Ow! ow! ow! Damn cupboard!" Duo grumbled. Then as he started to tip over, hastily Duo grabbed Wufei's shoulders, leaning on him, "OWWWWW!" he wailed, as he clung to Wufei.
"You're such a weakling! Get offa me!" Wufei snapped.
"Ow! Come one Wufei, I need you!" Duo snapped.
"Yeah, I really need you, too... but now's not the time!"
"Gee, Wufei, you flatter me."
"Omae o korosu..." a VERY familiar voice hissed.
Duo and Wufei both froze, seeing in the corner of their eyes, none other then a pilot with Prussian blue eyes. Wufei and Duo both looked at each other, then Heero, then each other again.
Duo pushed Wufei back. "Alright, that's enough!" he said, calmly.
"Shut up, Maxwell!" Wufei snapped. "You're only making it appear worse!"
Duo shrugged, "my leg's fine now," he told him.
"Well, that's good," Wufei said, snidely.
"Who do you think you're fooling!? That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard!" Heero snarled, and lunged at Wufei, who frowned, wondering if he could take on Heero. But even Wufei had his limits, so... Wufei ran out of the kitchen.
"DAMN YOU, MAXWELL!" he yelled.
Duo blew a kiss, just to try and tick Wufei off further, but it wasn't Wufei who saw. He froze, seeing Heero smile at him, "er... yeah... for you, Heero," Duo said, hastily, not wanting to be on Heero's bad side.
After they were gone, Quatre was crawling into the kitchen, his tongue lolled out, panting. "Water... water..." he wheezed.
"Geez, you live in the deserts of Arabia and you can't handle Heero chasing you". Duo muttered. Then, with a roll of his eyes, he lifted up Quatre and sat him on the counter, then gave him a glass of water.
"Thank you," Quatre said, gratefully, and started drinking greedily.
"Well, one thing's for sure... no need to enter any marathons, we both know you wouldn't be able to handle it," Duo commented.
Quatre lowered the empty glass, "believe me, Duo... being chased by an angry Heero is like being chased by a dozen angry Wufei's," he said, as he filled up the glass again, and drank that, just as fast. Duo shuddered, one angry Wufei was bad enough. Was an angry Heero that bad?
***
Wufei frowned, as healthy and agile as he was, it was pretty much just a fraction of what Heero was capable of, especially if he was angry as he was right then. Wufei found himself needing a rest, already.
"A LITTLE HELP!" Wufei yelled as he ran by the kitchen. Quatre sighed, he couldn't just leave Wufei like that, he tightened his runners, knowing he was gonna regret this once it started.
"Ready?" Duo asked, Quatre nodded.
The American cleared his throat, "Quatre, do you honestly feel that way about me?!" he said, loudly.
Quatre sighed, then he nodded, it was now or never. And Wufei needed help. "YES, DUO..." he bellowed, "I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL! FORGET HEERO! COME AWAY TO ARABIA WITH ME!"
Wufei raised an eyebrow, then he looked over his shoulder at Heero, the Japanese pilot's eyes were narrowed, "Winner, omae o korosu!" he snarled, and ran by Wufei to get to Quatre.
The Arabian yelped at the very sight of Heero, and made a mad dash out of the kitchen and down the hall, just like before.
Wufei walked into the kitchen, wiping his brow, panting lightly. "He's got more stamina and speed when he's ticked," he commented.
Duo nodded, "I noticed," he muttered and handed Wufei a pitcher of water. The chinese boy drank it, greedily.
After he lowered the empty pitcher, "doesn't all this feel odd, Maxwell?" Wufei asked.
Duo shrugged, "at first, yeah... but he's not hitting on me or anything, so I just live with the fact that he, uhh..." he paused, not knowing what phrase to use.
"... Has the hots for you..?" Wufei offered.
Duo shuddered, but he nodded, "yeah, that," he grumbled. "He's just a little... over-protective, that's all," he added, trying to convince himself, more than Wufei.
***
Quatre sighed, as he paced himself, somehow managing to stay a few feet ahead of Heero. "Take Duo to Arabia, will you?!" Heero shouted, Quatre got ready to reply, until he heard the doorbell.
He started to head back to the kitchen, "WUFEI!" he called.
Wufei grimaced, "fine... fine..." he grunted. Then he glared at Duo, "don't get any ideas, I'm only doing this for Quatre's sake," he muttered. Duo snickered and nodded.
"Quatre! C'mere!" Duo called.
"What should I do?" Wufei asked.
"Not a thing..."
"Huh?"
"He's four seconds behind me!" Quatre called.
"Gotcha..." Duo thought with a grin. He was really, seriously gonna regret this later on. Duo counted in his head, once Quatre ran by. Then Duo grabbed Wufei and kissed him right there! But with Duo's fast tricks it looked like Wufei was putting on the moves!
"Damnit, Chang! I'll kill you!" Heero shouted, and dashed into the kitchen, straight at Wufei.
"MAXWELL, YOU LUNATIC!" Wufei shouted in rage, as he ran away, wiping off his mouth.
"IT WASN'T EXACTLY THE KISS OF TRUE LOVE FOR ME, EITHER..." Duo retorted, loudly, then he started spitting in the sink, and drinking straight from the faucet.
***
Quatre finally got to walk, he appreciated every second of it, as he strolled to the door, and pulled it open, "R-Relena?!" he gasped out.
"Hello, Quatre... I've come to talk to Heero... to let bygones be bygones... that silly little incident that occurred 5 days ago, I'm willing to put it behind me..." Relena said, smiling sweetly.
"Umm, well, you see, Relena... things are a bit hectic right now, so... yeah, maybe you should go," Quatre suggested, with a forced polite smile.
"Hectic..? In what way? Perhaps I can help..." she offered, as she tried to step inside.
"Oh, uhh...", Quatre grumbled, and stepped in the princess' way. "It's not something you can really... handle at the moment, Relena," he said, hastily, smiling apologetically.
"Excuse me?!" Relena said, in mild disgust. "I'm a Peacecraft! If we can achieve true peace, then we can easily handle a little household mishap," she snapped.
Quatre shook his head, "not this kind of mishap..." he muttered.
Relena started to go around, but Quatre quickly cut her off. "Is that a new dress?!" he blurted out.
Relena looked confused, then she looked at her dress, "why yes... you're the first to notice it... how did you know..? Waitasecond", Relena glared at the Arabian. "Quatre... please let me in," she ordered, politely. But, before Quatre could answer...
"TOUCH DUO AGAIN, AND IT'LL BE YOUR HEAD, CHANG!" Heero shouted.
"UGH! YOU'LL BE DOING ME A FAVOR IF YOU KILL ME! I THINK I'M TRAUMATIZED!" Wufei shouted back.
"HIS KISSES ARE PERFECT! WHAT'RE YOU BABBLING ABOUT!?"
"YOU LIKE IT WHEN HE KISSES YOU?!"
"YES!"
That one short conversation caused the Princess to faint.
***
Relena struggled to wake up, groggily, she found herself gazing into blue eyes. "Oh Heero... I knew it wasn't true... you're not attracted to Duo... are you?" she cooed.
"You kidding? Duo's the love of my life... and you, Relena Peacecraft are a stalker with mental problems, and a really ugly limo... I HATE PINK! Plus, it's not your color..."
Relena sat bolt upright. "What?!" she screeched, then saw that she was looking into Duo's cobalt blue eyes, and not Heero's prussian blue eyes.
"Duo Maxwell, you disgusting, vile, sorry excuse for a human being!" Relena shouted.
Duo ignored her, as he rolled on the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically.
"Here, Relena," Quatre said, offering a glass of water.
Relena sat the water aside, "where's Heero? I'm here to talk to him, not to deal with Duo's immature antics," she said, coldly.
"Immature antics?" Duo asked, confused, then he grinned. "Oh, I get it! You think I was imitating Heero's voice, earlier, like I just finished doing!" he started snickering again. "I admit I can copy his voice... and Wufei's... and Quatre's... it's Trowa's I can't really do[1]... but everything you heard, when you arrived, little princess..? Wasn't me," Duo snickered at Relena's confused and shocked expression.
"You mean, earlier..? When I arrived, was... was... Heero!?" she gasped.
Duo nodded, grinning widely. Relena fell off the table, sending the American into another fit of hysterical laughter, he slapped his knee, trying to catch his breath, but to no avail.
Even though Duo heard all it all, and it did make him uncomfortable, Relena's response made it worth it!
Duo knelt in front of Relena, "hey, you always wanted Heero to chase you, right?" he asked, grinning.
Quatre shook his head, signalling Duo to stop while he was ahead, but Duo ignored him. He wanted to get some fun out of the entire situation of Heero having... 'the hots' for him.
Relena looked at Duo, puzzled, "excuse me?" she asked, supiciously.
Duo smiled innocently, "I can make Heero chase after you, that is if you're willing..." he offered.
Relena looked away, in a snobby way, "to trust you, Mr. Maxwell, is to trust a man eating lion," she sniffed.
"You're not in my tastes, Relena," Duo responded, not missing a beat of the small insults passed between them. "Take my offer, or leave it."
Relena looked at him in the corner of her eyes, then she looked at him, fully. "You're lying..." she said, bitterly.
Duo shrugged, "not really... I'm serious Relena, I can get Heero to chase after you," he repeated.
Relena placed her fingers to her lips, thoughtfully, contemplating what to do. Perhaps Duo could do such a thing, he had skills that even Relena had to admit were impressive. Must be from being homeless, she figured, then she held out her hand to Duo.
"Very well, Duo, I accept," she said, regally, then she glared at him as Duo merely looked at her hand as if it were contaminated. "Duo!" Relena snapped.
With a roll of his eyes, Duo grabbed her hand, firmly and roughly began to shake her hand, as well as Relena.
"Duo..." Quatre scolded.
The braided boy merely grinned. "Wufei! How ya doin?" he called.
"I think I'm dehydrating!" Wufei yelled back, as he made his way back to the kitchen. Quatre was already filling a pitcher with water for the Chinese pilot.
"Alrighty..." Duo said, rubbing his hands together, briskly, then he turned to Relena. "Let's do this, close your eyes," he ordered, the princess glared at him but did as he said.
Duo glanced at Quatre and handed him his gun.
"What's this for..?" the Arabian asked.
"I'll wanna shoot myself after what I'm about to do... don't let me."
Quatre raised an eyebrow but nodded.
Duo cleared his throat, "Relena..." he said, in a perfect imitation of Heero's voice! Quatre's jaw dropped at Duo's ability.
"Heero?" Relena gasped.
"Open your eyes, and I'll kill you," Duo said, darkly.
Quatre stifled his laughter with his hand, that did seem like the kind of thing Heero would say if he was in a severely bad mood.
"What's..?" Relena started to ask.
"Kiss me, Relena... this will be your only chance, understand? This and no other!" Duo said, coldly. Quatre raised an eyebrow, instantly understanding why Duo gave him his 9mm right then.
"6 seconds behind me!" Wufei shouted.
Duo counted in his head once Wufei ran by, "now!" he ordered.
Relena never hesitated, as she leapt into Duo's arms, and kissed him, noisily.
Wufei skidded to a stop, at the other kitchen door, his dark eyes wide in shock.
"Chang!" Heero shouted.
Wordlessly, Wufei pointed at Relena and Duo.
Heero froze, and glared at Relena, harshly, "Relena Peacecraft!" he hissed.
Relena released Duo, "oh Heero..." she cooed, then she opened her eyes, seeing Duo.
The American was sputtering and gagging, "WATER!" he gasped out.
Relena glared at him "why you..!" then she looked at Heero, "Heero?! It's not what it looks like, honest! Don't be jealous of Duo!" Relena pleaded.
Heero's grip on the gun tightened, "omae o korosu, Relena... AND THIS TIME I WILL!" he shouted.
"He's jealous of you, Relena! Run!" Quatre shouted.
"Of me..?" Relena asked, confused.
"Yeah, Heero likes Duo, or didn't you know?" Wufei asked, with a smirk.
Relena ignored him and made a mad dash out of the kitchen. "DUOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she screeched as she ran, Heero at her heels, yelling out Japanese curses.
Quatre handed Duo a glass of water, who was wiping off his mouth, and spitting in the sink. "Ugh! That was sick! I hate to admit it, but Wufei you kiss better then her!" Duo gagged.
Wufei glared at him, "shut up, baka!" he snarled.
Quatre laughed, lightly, and handed the tired Wufei the full water pitcher, the chinese pilot guzzled it down, greedily, while Duo gargled with the water Quatre gave him.
"Duooooo..." he imitated in disgust, "I'm amazed she never loses her voice, the way she's always screaming her head off," Duo grumbled.
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[1] I dunno, Duo just struck me as the type of person who can imitate voices... heh, gomen ^^
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let's hope I can keep going with this... I think I have another chapter... but it'll probably be shorter than this one... nuts