A/N: This is my Christmas fic, which I'm afraid is very late. Sorry about that - anyway, hope you had a lovely Christmas and Happy nearly-New-Year!

I just love these three together, they're pretty awesome ^_^

Summary: The Doctor, the Master and Rose spend Christmas Eve on Earth, buy each other presents and basically behave like normal people for once. Warning: Contains kissing, satsumas and the Master being sulky.

Pairings: Implied Doctor/Rose, and Master/Rose if you squint. And if you reeeallly squint and use wishful thinking, there's Doctor/Master. But not really. Sorry.

Disclaimer: Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, I do not own it.

When the Doctor did his usual running through time and space, he occasionally dropped in on the 25th of December to see how it was, like an old friend.

But one day in the TARDIS, Rose declared that it hadn't been Christmas for ages, and she didn't want to spend it running away from bog monsters. In fact, she fancied a nice, comfortable 24-hour stay on Earth. The Doctor agreed because Rose was his best friend, and the Master agreed because he didn't have much of a choice in the matter.

They parked on Christmas eve, on a little hill just outside London. The year was 2012, and snow was falling gently, covering the TARDIS like an iced cake.

They went Christmas shopping two at a time. Rose went with the Doctor to get the Master a woolly scarf, then dragged the Master off to get the Doctor a packet of edible ball bearings and some blue and white socks that reminded her of the TARDIS.

While the two Time Lords were shopping for her gift, Rose found an old box of festive decorations in one of the storage hatches and busied herself stringing up lights and tinsel in the console room. She hung a wreath on the TARDIS door and carefully filled up stockings for the others, making sure to put a satsuma in the bottom of the Doctor's.

"Hello-o!" the Doctor called, striding through the doors in a flurry of snow, with a green wrapped box under each arm, "We're back!"

Rose looked down from where she'd been adjusting some of the lights. "Did ya have a good time?" she grinned.

"We did," the Doctor said, placing the two gifts underneath the console with the others, "In fact the Master had a lot of fun, exploding Christmas street lights and showering glass on harmless pedestrians!" he glared meaningfully at the Master, who had just slouched in, closing the doors behind him. The blond Time Lord looked like he dearly wanted to stick his tongue out at the Doctor, but didn't.

"Alright, mister delinquent, come over 'ere and help." Rose called, winking at the Master. He reluctantly walked over and held the stepladder, while Rose climbed a little higher and strung the lights onto a ridge in the ceiling.

"There we go," she said, stepping down again. She skipped the last few rungs and jumped to the floor, steadying herself against the Master. "Thanks."

There was a mumbled reply that could have either been, 'You're welcome', or, 'Stupid ape'.

"I like what you've done with the place," the Doctor said, looking around admiringly at the decorations, "It reminds me of a Christmas I had with Walt Disney in 1927..." a dreamy, faraway smile crossed his face, "Cold turkey and cream crackers... ahh, that was fun. I gave him a sketchbook. 'You should draw mice', I said, 'You'd be good at drawing mice', I said..." the Doctor paused. "Sometimes I wonder if..."

The Master and Rose glanced at each other and rolled their eyes. The Doctor continued to ramble for the next half an hour or so, but they tuned it out, deciding to get on with the decorating instead.

As Rose soon discovered, Christmas Eve with the Master was not at all enjoyable. First, he kept flicking the Christmas lights on and off, sending bright, annoying flashes around the room every few minutes. When he got bored of that, he pinched the Doctor's sonic screwdriver, lay on his stomach under the console and started scanning the Christmas presents.

"Ro-o-se," he sang, running the blue tip of the screwdriver over one of the wrapped boxes, "The Doctor's got you a-"

"Shhhh!" the Doctor shushed him, bending down and snatching the screwdriver back before the Master could scan anything else, "It's a surprise." he straightened up and returned to whatever he was doing at the console.

"I hate surprises," the Master huffed, rolling onto his back and fiddling with the gift tag on his own package, "I want to open it now."

Rose, who was reading a book in the pilot's chair, looked up at these words. "You sound so babyish." she teased, making a face at him. This time, he did stick out his tongue.

The Doctor chuckled and put the screwdriver into his trouser pocket. Rose went back to her book and silence returned to the console room.

It only lasted a few minutes, however.

There was a cry of, "Oi!", and Rose glanced over to see the Doctor pulling the sonic screwdriver away from the Master, who had been trying to scan the boxes again.

"Can't you just-" the Doctor gave a grunt of triumph as he managed to yank the screwdriver out of the other Time Lord's hands, "-wait until tomorrow?"

"No," the Master replied sulkily, folding his arms, "I'm bored."

"I don't care, just stop pickpocketing me," the Doctor said, mirroring the Master's pose and expression perfectly, "I'm ninety-four years older than you."

The Master seemed to have no answer for this, and Rose chuckled at the sight of them both, bickering like two brothers who both wanted a shiny new toy.

A few hours later, the Doctor and Rose had lost count of the number of times the Master had stolen the sonic screwdriver. He seemed determined to work out exactly what was in the wrapped boxes beneath the console.

"I wish we could stop him from going under there," Rose huffed when the blond Time Lord was out of the room (probably sabotaging some of the bathrooms).

"Hm," the Doctor made an ambiguous little noise and continued delving through a box he'd just found. It contained more decorations, including a sprig of mistletoe that somehow sported fresh, green leaves, although the box looked like it hadn't been touched for years.

"How is that thing still alive?" Rose asked, staring at the plant.

"The TARDIS storeroom air filters induce a temporal state of botanic cellular perpetuation." the Doctor said, waving a hand vaguely.

"Right..." Rose rolled her eyes. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her.

"Doctor, how 'bout we hang it here?" she picked up the mistletoe and attached it to a low-strung wire above the console. She grinned, tongue between her teeth. "If the Master tries scanning the presents again, we could kiss him. I bet that would annoy him."

"You can kiss him," the Doctor said, blushing furiously, "I wouldn't really like to try."

Rose burst out laughing, just as the Master entered the room through one of the coral door arches. He was carrying a reel of string and some clothes pegs, reinforcing Rose's theory about bathroom sabotage.

"What's so funny?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow at the green sprig above her head. "And what's that?"

"Mistletoe." Rose said, glancing at the Doctor and trying to suppress a giggle.

"Well, yes," the Master said, "But what's it doing there?"

"It's a Christmas tradition on Earth," the Doctor explained. He straightened up with some tinsel in his arms, "If two people find themselves under mistletoe, they have to kiss."

"Oh they do, do they?" the Master folded his arms and eyed the pair of them suspiciously. "This is one of your little jokes, isn't it? You just don't want me to spoil your surprises - you want to open your presents tomorrow and say, 'Ooh, I never expected that!'."

"Yes, we do." the Doctor grinned. He winked at Rose, then went over to the nearest metal railing and began to wind the sparkling tinsel around it.

Rose smirked and retreated to the pilot's chair. The Master skirted around the edge of the console and deposited the string and pegs into a small metal tray next to the scanner screen.

A few minutes passed, during which the Doctor decorated all the railings in the console room and Rose pretended to read her book, while really keeping a watchful eye on the Master.

At last, she saw him throw a quick glance at the Doctor, who was bending over to attach some lights to a metal hook. Silently, the Master stepped behind him, sliding his hand into the other Time Lord's pocket. Rose was amazed at how deftly he could remove the screwdriver - the Doctor didn't notice a thing.

The blond Time Lord glanced around again - Rose hid her face behind the book - then walked over to the console, crouched down, and began to wave the tip of the screwdriver over the red package that contained his scarf.

Rose looked up at the mistletoe dangling almost directly above his head. Putting down her book, she stood up quietly and crept over to him.

Completely preoccupied with scanning, the Master didn't notice Rose until she tapped him lightly on the shoulder. He jerked in surprise and turned to look at her, but before he could say anything, she kissed him, briefly, on the lips.

The Doctor heard a startled exclamation and turned to see Rose and the Master both under the console. The Master was holding the sonic screwdriver - 'How did I miss that?' the Doctor wondered - and staring in astonishment at Rose, who was grinning at him.

"What happened?" the Doctor demanded, leaving the Christmas lights and jumping over to the console. "Are you alright?" he added, looking from Rose to the still stunned Master.

"She kissed me!" the blond Time Lord said in an outraged tone.

The Doctor frowned in concern at Rose. Then he noticed the mistletoe hanging above them and seemed to catch on.

"Ah, well... Earth traditions and all that, Master." the Doctor tutted.

"Serves ya right," Rose punched the Master playfully on the shoulder, then seized the red package from him and placed it back on the small pile of boxes. "Now promise me you'll wait 'till tomorrow."

The Master sighed and looked at the blonde human girl. He would never admit it to her, but Rose had impressed him slightly. Not many people could take him so completely by surprise, and with a kiss, too. It was usually him who kissed somebody else, not the other way around. It was rather unnerving.

"Alright," he agreed finally. "Now, I think you should give the Doctor a kiss. He's standing there looking very jealous."

The Doctor opened his mouth to say something, decided against it and then shrugged.

Rose beamed and got to her feet. She took a step towards the Doctor, so they were both directly below the mistletoe, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Time Lords are particularly advanced psychic beings, and can usually understand each other's moods and feelings in different tones and levels, rather like music. It gave the Master great amusement to 'hear' the Doctor's emotional uproar as he shared a kiss with Rose.

The blond Time Lord ducked out from under the console and observed his companions for a few seconds, wondering when they were going to break apart and start breathing again. They didn't.

With a sigh, the Master carefully placed the sonic screwdriver back into the oblivious Doctor's pocket and went to finish stringing up the lights that the other Time Lord had left on the railing behind them.

It was dawn - Christmas Day.

The snow had been falling heavily in the night. Cold, white mounds had heaped up around the TARDIS doors, preventing any kind of way out, but nobody inside really minded - they were all too busy drowning in wrapping paper.

"A satsuma!" the Doctor cried, tossing the orange fruit into the air with a joyful grin, "Brilliant!"

"What's so brilliant about that?" the Master asked, looking up halfway through unwrapping his own present.

"Satsumas are good," the Doctor said, "A satsuma saved my life once." he wiggled his toes happily, showing off his new socks.

"On Christmas Day, a few years back," Rose explained as she tried on the pink hat that the Doctor had bought her, "These creatures called the Sycorax tried to kill a third of the Earth's population. The Doctor saved them and beat the leader to a swordfight, then used a satsuma to push a button that dropped the leader off the ship."

The Master nodded as though she was telling him a perfectly ordinary Christmas holiday story. "And then what?"

"Er, he brought down the government with six words and we had Christmas dinner with my mum and Mickey."

"So just a normal day, then?"

"Yep, pretty much."

"Good," the Master went back to tearing at red wrapping paper. Eventually he lifted the black woolly scarf out and gave the others a sceptical look. "Really?"

"Oh come on, I bet it looks good on you," the Doctor grinned. He reached out and took the black scarf, doubled the ends together and looped it around the Master's neck. "Comfortable?"

"Hmm," the Master pulled the scarf around so the ends hung over his shoulder, "Yes, very."

"Hat, scarf, socks." Rose said, "We should be in a winter fashion magazine."

At that moment, the Doctor pulled the tissue paper off a small plastic carton, filled to the brim with silver ball bearings.

"Aww, Rose!"

"I'll make cupcakes for ya," Rose grinned as the Doctor leaned over and hugged her tightly.

"Hey," the Master interrupted, reaching over and pushing the Doctor and Rose apart just as they started to kiss, "Don't start that again, I had enough of it last night. You'll both die of suffocation if you're not careful."

"Oh come on, it's Christmas!" the Doctor whined.

"That's still not an excuse to asphyxiate yourself." the Master replied stubbornly.

"Are you feeling left out?" Rose teased, "You can join in, if you like."

"If we all grew two pairs of lips, that might be psychically possible, but we can't, so it's not."

"Not kissing, dumbo." Rose took one arm off the Doctor's shoulder and pulled the Master into a trifold group hug. He made a strangled noise but seemed to put up with it.

The Doctor smiled and put his arms around them both, drawing them all closer together.

"Oh, you two," he grinned into their shoulders, "Best of the best, you are. If I had to spend Christmas with anyone, I'm glad it was you."

"You too, Doctor." Rose smiled. She shot a look at the Master over the Doctor's shoulder that clearly said, don't ruin the moment. He winked back at her.

"Now then!" the Doctor beamed, breaking up the hug without warning, "I know a delightfully sludgy planet in the Oggswamp galaxy. Who wants to spend the day running away from bog monsters?"

"Me!" they both said. The Doctor extricated himself from them and jumped over to the console, flipping the blue takeoff lever.

"Come on, come on!" he clapped his hands impatiently as the room swayed and lurched, "This TARDIS won't fly itself!"

The Master and Rose got to their feet, quickly taking their places at the console. "Keeping the localised gravity stable," Rose said, keeping her hand on a green switch.

"Re-checking aeronautic shield space." the Master pressed a dial and pulled the scanner screen towards him, quickly scanning the Gallifreyan writing it displayed.

"Aaaand... harmonising the time grid modules!" the Doctor finished, pushing two handles upwards with a wide grin, "Off we go!"

The blue box gave a great shudder and dematerialised with its usual long, rasping sound. Inside the console room, the Doctor leaned around the time rotor and grinned at his companions.

"Before we leave it behind, I'd just like to say... Merry Christmas!"