Place: Minato's Apartment

Time: 7:00 pm

Occasion: Best Friend/Crush coming over for dinner

Two plates, check. Two wine glasses filled to the brim with tropical fruit juice, check. Scrolls kept in order, check. Three plates of Tempura, check. Two steaming pots of shio ramen, check.

Minato turned 180 degrees and checked the rest of the apartment. Yup, everything was in order for Kushina-chan's visit. Minato was filled with anticipation and he probably had that goofy grin plastered on his face that Kushina-chan bopped him on the head for, but he didn't care.

After days of worrying and worrying and worrying!, Minato was prepared. He had double and triple-checked that there would be no interruptions from his so-called friends or from his well-meaning but perverted sensei or from the Hokage himself. Nothing would ruin the first time Kushina-chan came to his apartment for dinner. Nothing.

As Minato made a last minute check circuit around the room, someone knocked on the door. Minato's head snapped to attention immediately. Then he practically ran to the door and wrenched it open. If he was a doggy, his tail would have been wagging and his tongue would be lolling out of his mouth. He shook his head to get rid of that thought. Damn Tsume-senpai and her dog!

" Minato, get in the house or I'll chakra chain you to your bed while I eat dattebane!"

Minato realized that he had been thinking so hard that he had missed Kushina-chan coming into the room and had stood there like the statues in the Valley of the End, making a complete fool of himself. But this was not new. Whenever he came into close proximity with her, Minato's brain would be having a barbeque while he acted like Inoichi when he was drunk.

"Sorry Kushina-chan. You look…" Minato began, but when he saw what she was wearing, he couldn't find a good compliment. Which was surprising as he always found something good to say about everything.

"You look very – warm."

Kushina-chan was swathed in brown and black furs of Kami-sama -knows-which poor critters, and she did look rather hot. In the non-sexual way. She cackled good-naturedly and looked at him with a spine-chilling glint in her eyes.

"I suppose I should take the top layer off, so you can find a compliment better than warm."

As she took off the heaps and heaps of furs all over her body, Minato went into the kitchen to set the table. Knowing Kushina-chan (and he doubted anyone knew her quite as well as he did), she was probably ravenous by now. It had to do with the warm weather and the B-rank she had been on and the moon cycle. Minato hummed slightly as he set the food on the plates. He was about to take off his apron, when he saw what Kushina-chan was wearing.

His jaw dropped. His face became beetroot red. He started stammering and stuttering and showing all the signs of having an apoplectic fit. She was wearing a devastatingly sensually designed red-hot lacy bra and blue mid-thigh length tights. Really tight tights.

When Kushina-chan saw his face, she smirked coyly and said, "Minato-sama, please take care of me!" in the most sultry way she could. Minato nearly fainted. He was at the brink of unconsciousness when he realized that if he did, she'd probably eat all of his ramen too.

He pulled himself together as best as he could and stammered a "Hai!" and went to his cupboard and messed it all up looking for a shirt that she could put on over that…that!

He was pretty sure his heart rate was not normal and if it became any faster, he'd probably burst a vein, but he digressed. He shoved the shirt into her hand and said, "There is a no-midriff-showing policy in this apartment block!"

She just stared at him deadpannedly until he practically made her wear it himself. He put her head through the shirt and then her hands and then breathed a sigh of relief so profound that Kushina-chan started laughing again.

As she looked around the apartment, her eyes taking everything in, she looked disappointed in herself.

"Your apartment is way cleaner than mine. I knew you had OCD…"

Minato blushed brightly and started making excuses when her eyes alighted on the food. More specifically, the ramen.

She practically jumped onto the table and started eating – no, devouring – the food in the pot. Minato watched for a while, his eyes misting over. She always looked so adorable when she ate with such enthusiasm. He hadn't met anyone that could make something as mundane as ramen seem like a delicacy. But then Minato remembered that ramen was his favourite food too, so he tried to take some for himself.

But Kushina wouldn't let him. As soon as he filled his plate, she grabbed it with all her strength and wouldn't let go.

"Kushina-chan, I need to eat too." He tried reasoning with her. She just shook her head, a steady stream of ramen being sucked through her mouth. He used all his brute strength trying to take the ramen plate from her.

The scene dissolved into utter chaos. She started running around the apartment, chasing him, trying to get the ramen plate he had clutched in his arms.

"Give me that ramen!"

"No! It's mine!"

"Minato!"

He ducked under the table and she jumped over it. Then she slammed into the bookshelf, causing all the books to litter the ramen-covered table and the plaster that was attached to the shelf to come out along with the afore-mentioned shelf, which crashed into the cupboard, which hit the bed which skidded to a stop an inch away from Minato's pinky toe.

Minato stopped in shock and Kushina-chan grabbed the ramen plate from his petrified fingers. As Minato stared at the mess, and Kushina-chan licked the plate clean, Minato realized one very important thing.

"No plan survives contact with the enemy. Or an Uzumaki."

"The landlady is going to kill me!"

Kushina-chan scooted over to him and kissed him on the cheek. He blushed a bright red.

"Wanna move into my place now dattebane? I have ramen~!"

Minato fainted.

(1021 words)