A/N: This one-shot was inspired by Jana Kramer's "Why Ya Wanna" R&R, please and thank you!

I was 18 years old the last time I saw Scorpius Malfoy. We had just finished our schooling at Hogwarts and had just spent the most perfect summer together on the beaches on the South of France at his family's cottage. We were crazy in love and felt unstoppable. I thought it was going to last forever.

I was wrong.

…..

A month had passed and we had both started on our jobs now that we were adults and in the real world. We were living together in a small flat in the heart of London and it seemed (to me at least) that everything was just peachy. I should have seen the signs.

I remember the day my world felt apart. I had just gotten off my shift at the Daily Prophet as their newest photographer (a bit of a let down to my parents), and I remember apparating to our front door and opening it to the scene of our flat looking like a tornado hit. Everything was an absolute mess and all of his things were gone.

I could feel the despair hitting me as I stumbled to our bedroom and found a lone rose and a card that read I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Not right now. X Scorpius. That was the final blow. My world came crumbling down around me and I cried for days on end.

I composed myself long enough to send in my resignation and inform my landlord that I was moving out as soon as I had my bags packed. If anyone thought I was going to hang around there, they were sadly mistaken.

…

I moved out to a tiny rural town, far enough from everyone that they wouldn't be able to find me unless I wanted them to. It was a muggle town, but I didn't mind it at all. It had enough to get by with the essentials and I was never one for needing extravagance.

Once I moved away from London I pretty much fell off the map. It took me about a year before I even wrote to my parents and let them know why I had left so suddenly and never even talked to them about it. I never told them, or anyone for that matter, what exactly happened with Scorpius. I just told them that it wasn't working out between us and I needed to be off the grid for a while.

It took me about 3 years to finally tell them where I had moved to. They've visited a few times but know that it's my wish to live more recluse and they've respected my choice.

…

I've been in my small cottage by the small creek that runs through the town for about 7 years now. 7 years since I've seen Scorpius Malfoy and every day I still battle my feelings for him. Not right now. Those words still haunt me, as if there is still something left undone. But I want to be done, I want to move on, I don't want to still hurt for him anymore after 7 years and be able to finally give my heart to someone who won't shatter it and leave it for me to pick up.

There are nice enough guys here, but they all know that while I would like to give them a chance, my heart is still taken by a platinum blonde, silver-blue eyed boy (well, man now).

…..

Currently I'm sitting in my favorite little café in town (just because it's the country doesn't mean we can't have some nice things) that's run by one of the women that became my best friend when I moved out here, Emily Taylor.

I'm curled up in my favorite arm chair by the big bay window that faces the creek instead of the street. I'm sketching in the journal Em got for me last Christmas. My main talent lies in photography, but I do have a secret passion for drawing. Of course, I'm drawing what is one my mind and once again, it's of Scorpius. I have more journals and sketch pads full of him than is probably reasonable.

This one's of that time we spent the day lock in his room that last summer. We were so wrapped up in each other and I remember how after one particularly steamy sessions, I had laid sprawled across him and he ran his fingers down my bare spine. The thought still makes me shudder from the pleasurable memory. I was drawing it as if I was looking down on us.

When Em finally gained my trust and I told her my secret of being a witch (which she took surprisingly well) and came by my cottage for the first time, she saw my art and was completely floored by it. She kept insisting on buying some to display at the café, the muggle ones of course. I refused to let her buy any but told her to let me have free drinks for the rest of my life and I would let her display some.

There is one sketch that she chose that is my favorite but also bugs me the most. It's one of Scorpius sitting at a table in her café. She knows who it is because I told her my story but I insisted she put it up. It only bothers me because I know he will never sit at a table here, meaning that I'll never see him again, though I had convinced myself that is what I wanted.

So back to me sitting in the best spot in town, with my feet propped up on the window ledge and my tongue sticking out between my lips a little as I concentrated on my drawing.

"Looks sensual," Em throws my way as she comes buy to refresh my chai tea.

"Thanks. Still trying to get it just right. Drawing myself is hopeless," I joke back as she laughs and heads back to the register as another comes in.

10 seconds later I hear something fall and break. Naturally, I twist in my seat to see what Em dropped.

Oh fuck no. And just like that, my eyes fall on the silhouette of none other than Scorpius Malfoy. I snap back around and pray that he doesn't look my way.

"S-Sorry about that," I hear Em apologize. "I'm such a klutz. Here's your chai tea."

I hear him mumble a response and move to sit down at one of the tables. Since when does he drink chai? He never used to like it. Chai was my thing. Oh Merlin I hope he won't realize it's me and leave soon.

"Um, excuse me," I hear him call over to Em. I hear her approach him, "Who drew that sketch? The guy in it looks remarkably like myself, which is really kind of freaking me out. Don't get me wrong, it's absolutely brilliant, but the similarity is uncanny."

"Oh. Um. Well, um, it was, um. Rose Weasley?" she finally offered up. Damnnit, Em.

I hear his basically spit out his mouthful of latte and sputter out, "W-what?! Rose Wealsey?! Rose Weasley?! You're just kidding me, right?!" He sounded a bit harsh. Poor Em. Hope he doesn't do anything rash.

I finally give in to my own temptations and turn slowly in my seat and peak out at him through my massive amount of red curls. I see that he is still cleaning himself up after his spittake. "Um, yeah. She's a private artist and I was lucky to get some of her work to put up," Em tells him. I sat there praying for her to shut up before she tells him where I live and how I still seemed enraptured with him.

He looks up her and then his eyes snap to me. Fuck. Yep, they're still my favorite silver-blue. I spin right back around in my chair and pray hard that he doesn't come over here. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

I hear his chair scrap back and know it's a lost cause. So I throw myself into shading the picture in my lap and hope he will see that I'm busy and shouldn't be disturbed.

"Rose?" I hear him whisper my name as if he doesn't believe it's really me. I push some of my curls out of my face and look up at him as I bite my lip. He has his hands stuffed in his pockets and he's wearing my favorite grey t-shirt that I got him all those years back. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Hot damn, he looks delicious in that shirt. Is that a 6 pack under there? Sweet Merlin, this boy is blessed. Fuck, Rose, stop it!

I battle with my conscience while letting my eyes wander back to his eyes. They look shocked and disbelieving. Guess it really is impossible to find me.

"Merlin, it is you!" he exclaims. He looks at the seat next to me and I gesture to him to take it, still not saying anything. "You look bloody fantastic!"

Well that's a shocker. It's true, I had lost 15 pounds after the left, and I've worked to keep them off.

"I haven't seen you in, what, 7 years?" I nod. "Well, those 7 years treated you well. This is your art work, right? That's what the owner said." I nod again and look around at all my pictures and sketches that were hanging on Em's walls.

"Your talent is amazing. Maybe getting away from London was what you needed after all," he says off handedly. My eyes flash to him showing anger and hurt.

"Yeah, guess there was nothing to hold me down any longer," I respond as bitingly as possible.

I see him flinch and something flash through his eyes. Hurt? Remorse? "Rose, I'm sorry for that. I deserve that. But you just fell of the grid. How was I supposed to find you and make this right?"

"What are you talking about?! You left me!" I snap and suddenly stand up to storm out the back door that led to the back patio overlooking the creek. "You didn't want me! You didn't want to do it anymore, remember?!" I throw back at him when I hear him follow me out. I was grasping the railing with white knuckles so I don't end up punching him.

"I know! Ok?! I know that I left! I know that I said I couldn't do it anymore! I know! But don't think for one fucking moment that I didn't want you. You were my everything. I wanted you like I need air to breathe."

"Ho, ho! No! You aren't allowed to say that to me. You are not allowed to randomly show up after 7 years and think that you can just get off by saying that you wanted me but walked out anyways!" I screamed at him, and spun around, stormed back through the café, hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could to my cottage 5 minutes up the road.

I could hear him screaming at me to stop until I was out of ear shot.

I stormed into my cottage as anger and deep sadness started to overcome me and I started pacing.

I heard the front door open and him say, "Rose, please. Let's just talk about this."

I grabbed the nearest object. "The time for talking has long since passed," I screamed as I threw it at him. He dodged it easily and started to approach me slowly.

"You have no right to say these things to me," I yell as something else goes flying out of my hand at him. I continue to scream and throw things as he dodges it all easily and still approaches me.

"Rose. You don't understand. You have to let me explain."

"Explain how I wasn't good enough for your perfect life?! That my being a half-blood would taint your family tree?!" I scream at him as I feel the tears well up and throw the last thing in my reach at him, my most prized possession. I didn't even realize the glass case that held his rose is what I had thrown until I see him easily deflect it with his wand and it shatters against the floor.

"NO!" I let out an agonized scream as I fall to my knees by the glass pieces and the rose that looked so fragile among them. I glance up into Scorpius's face and see confusion. "F-f-fix it. Fix it!" I beg him, as if I wasn't a witch.

He casts the simple Repairo spell and it all comes flying back together, looking pristine as ever. I snatched it off the ground and cradled it in my arms and rock back and forth as tears stream down my face.

"Rose, what's wrong? Why is this thing so important?" he asks as he crouches down next to me, trying to look me in the eye.

I give in and look at his brilliant blue-silver eyes. "It's all I have left of you. I put an anti-wilting spell on it and put it in a glass case. I can't let anything happen to it." It comes out is a hurried whisper, as if I was talking more to myself than admitting my secret to the man I was still in love with, though I refused to admit it.

He looks at me, stunned. Not in a way that makes me think that he believes I'm completely nutters, but in a way that makes me believe he cannot believe someone tore me apart and that that someone was him.

He ran his fingers through his hair looking completely defeated as he sits down fully next to me. "Rose," he whispers, "I never thought that my leaving you would actually affect you this much. I was the one who was supposed to be too far invested in us, not you. Leaving you, well, it was the hardest thing I've ever done."

"Then why did you?" I squint at him through my tears.

He lets out a huge gust of air and puts his head in his hands. "Because I was too invested, and everyone saw that, and they took advantage of that. Your parents, my parents, your aunts, uncles, and cousins – they just kept asking me when I planned on marrying you."

"And you didn't want to? Was that it?"

"No! Of course not! Don't ever think that!"

"What then, Scorpius? What was your reason behind 'I can't do this anymore'?"

"It was because I tricked myself into believing that you would say no! That you would reject me! I felt like you weren't in the same place that I was, Rose. You had all these plans and dreams that I knew you wanted to accomplish before even thinking of settling down. I mean, honestly, look at what you've done! Your art, your passion! I didn't want to take those opportunities away from you!"

"But these are all things I could have still done, even if we were married!"

"Really, Rose?! You honestly think that you could have found this passion? You think you could have found yourself, what you were truly meant to do if we were married that young and constantly suck in the spot light?! Rose, when you disappeared, the tabloids went crazy trying to track you down so they could get the latest scandal! I'm a Malfoy and you're a Weasley. And not just any Weasley, you're the prodigy of 2/3 of the Golden Trio. You honestly think that if we had gotten married, you would be able to tap into your talent when you'd be too busy worrying about avoid the press and the rumors day in and day out?"

"I wouldn't care! I would have had you! You were my world, Scorpius. And then you just up and let."

"You would have regretted me every step of the way, Rosie." I gasped at his use of my nickname. "And I wouldn't be able to live with myself. You would be stuck in a rut as the photo journalist of the Daily Prophet, with that same paper trying to make you out as being a trophy wife of another Malfoy. I loved you too much to tie you down to that."

I started huffing as his argument was starting to wheedle its way into my head and make me believe him. "But you couldn't have explained that to me instead of just being gone when I came home?"

"Rose, I knew that if I stuck around any longer that I'd convince myself into staying and too tying you down. After I left, I locked myself in my old room at the manor and basically became a tyrant trying to keep myself from going back and not letting you live your destiny. My parents said for that whole week, you'd think I was trying to commit suicide with the screams of agony that came from my room."

I could feel my face softening at his tale. He was letting me know that what I went through I wasn't alone in. He was still to blame though.

"I broke after a week and went back to the flat to apologize and beg you to take me back. When I got there, the flat was empty. I asked the landlord and he said you moved out 5 days ago."

"I couldn't bare to stick around with the memory of you being gone around every corner."

"I understand," as he stroked my hair and pulled me to his chest. I let him. "I started asking your family if they knew where you had run off to, but they didn't even know we had broken up. I didn't want to tell them how idiotic I had been, so I just told them I did something really stupid and when I came back to beg you to take me back, you were gone.

"So I went through my training as an auror and hoped that I'd learn something that would come in useful in tracking you down. I've been through all the major cities in the United Kingdom and was planning on trying France if I could find you in any of the wizarding towns."

"Then why are you still here, and in a tiny muggle town no less?"

"Because thankfully, even after 7 years, your family still likes me enough to invited to family events. I usually don't stay very long as it makes me miss you that much more, but I still attend. I was at your Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny's 30th wedding anniversary when I overheard your parents quietly talking about how nice it'd be to escape London and see you in your tiny town. And then I heard your dad mention something about how he would never understand how you can live amongst muggles and then something of how you must truly be your mother's daughter if you have been able to stand it for so long.

"So I've been all over the country to hundreds of tiny muggle towns, searching for you. I usually go to their town hall and inquire after their citizen records. Being a wizard, I have no clue how to look you up on the internet, but I was able to come up with a fake disguise as a muggle 'detective' so that I wouldn't be questioned. That's why it's taken me 7 years to find you, Ms. Weasley. I was just on my way to your town hall today when I needed caffeine of some sort and stumbled across your tiny coffee house. Lucky for me."

I sigh. He wins. He always did. "Yes, lucky for you. You know, any normal ex would leave a girl alone if she doesn't want to be found."

"Well it's a good thing I'm not a normal ex. I couldn't let go and couldn't give up hope that maybe I was wrong about you, and that you were my soul mate and that maybe, just maybe, you were still waiting for me."

"Well, that settles it, I guess." He peers down at me, confused and wondering. "Get up." Still confused, he gets to his feet. "Now help me up," I hold my hands out for him to pull me up. He laughs and grasps my hands in his and lifts me.

I keep hold of one of his hands as I lead him up my stairs. "My cottage has 3 bedrooms. One I obviously use as my bedroom, the other one is my studio, and then there's this one," I explain as we stop in front of a gray-blue door with very intricate designs embedded in the wood and an S engraved in the middle.

"Rose, why is it giving off this weird vibe?"

"Because I'm the only one that can open it," I tell him as I trace the S on the door with my finger and then place my palm against the wood. The door melts away and Scorpius lets out a gasp. It's a room full of him, full of us, but mainly him.

"Rose," he marveled as he went from painting to painting, drawing to drawing, photo to photo. Most were of him, but some were of us and our time together or what I'd envisioned our life to be if he never left.

"Every time I make a new one, I put it in here. Because then I can't easily see it. I hoped by keeping it all locked away it would become easier, but it kind of has just made me realize how much I always think of you. Mostly it scares me, or makes me sad. I shouldn't still be like this after seven years, but that hasn't changed anything."

"Rose," he turns back to me and approaches me in the center of the room. "Had I known back then, I wouldn't have left you. Please believe me. You've created beautiful art and I wouldn't take that away from you, I just wish could have been there to see you reach this place."

He slips my current journal/sketch book into my hands. "You left it at the coffee house and I saw it when I ran back to grab my jacket. You have an amazing gift, Rose. It's something that should be shared, not kept sealed up."

I look into his eyes and see how much he means it. It's overwhelming. I can feel the tears start to come. "There's something I have to show you," I gasp out as I try to keep the tears from coming. I kneel next to the old wooden trunk that we were standing next to, put my hands on the cover by the opening, closed my eyes, and thought I love you, Scorpius. The lid unlocked and I pushed it open. It was almost full to the brim with letters.

"I've written one a day for the past 7 years," as the tears start to fall. "I've always sucked at keeping journals but I guess this and drawing are the ways I journal. I shift some and pull out one near the bottom, written 3 weeks after I left. I give it to him as the tears start to fall hard and fast. He opens it and begins reading. Somewhere in the middle I hear him gasp as I stare at the floor and let the tears start to consume me. By the end of the letter, I hear his legs give out as he falls to his knees in front of me, letting out a strangled cry.

"Rose," he begged. I look up into his eyes and see tears starting to form. "Rose, you were pregnant?" I just nod my head as a small sob escapes me. "What happened?" he choked out.

I shake my head vigorously, "He didn't make it. I miscarried. I'm so sorry." And that's when I fully collapsed into his arms and let the grief consume me like it had on so many occasions.

I felt his sobs start and felt his tears hit my hair as he rocked me back and forth, "Never be sorry," he sobbed in my ear.

…..

I don't know how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, eons, who knows. We just clung to each other, holding each other, hoping to stay afloat.

After a while, it was already dark out, I felt him get up and then pick me up in his arms. He walked me to my room and laid me on my bed, than sat down on the opposite side with his head in his hands. He went to push himself up off the bed and that's when I grabbed his hand. "Stay? Please? Now that you know, I can't face it alone anymore."

So he laid himself next to me, both of us on top of the covers and still fully clothed. I curled up into his chest as he put his arm around me and pulled me into him. I felt him kiss my forehead and then rest his chin on the top of my head. Exhausted from the crying, I passed out quickly.

….

I shot straight up in my bed, remembering everything that transpired yesterday. Looking at the clock, it read 8:35 am. I got out of my bed, noting that Scorpius was absent, wondering if he left. After taking care of the morning essentials, I made my way downstairs to my beautiful, white, country kitchen.

I stopped suddenly in the door way as I glance and see Scorpius standing at my kitchen sink, staring out of one of the windows to the creek and the woods that run through my back yard. I could see he had made some morning coffee for himself that he was currently drinking, and looked to see that he had the kettle on the stove with all the essentials to make breakfast tea for me when I finally put in an appearance.

My heart softened. He still remembers how I prefer tea to coffee. I walk quietly up next to him and stare out the window as well. "Seems you've found my favorite morning routine."

He glances down at me and then back out the window. "I can see why you chose to settle here for so long. It's peaceful and beautiful."

"Mmm," I turn around and make my way to the hallway to grab something. When I come back I see that he's made my tea just the way I like it, which really is surprising as he never used to do that before. He hands me my mug as I hand him the framed drawing I grabbed.

"I drew that about a year after I lost him," I explained to his silent question. "I remembered your mother showing me a baby photo of you and that's how I envisioned he would have been. A healthy, happy baby, full of laughter."

Scorpius gazed down at the picture as I sipped my tea – perfect. He stroked it with his thumb, "I should have been there. This wouldn't of happened if I had stayed." He looked back up at me, "I'm sorry I left you, Rose. If I had known, if I had been there, we would have a beautiful boy of 6 right now."

I shake my head, "Scorpius, please stop beating yourself up over it. We can't change time. What's done is done, and we have to get through it."

I make my way over to him and wrap my arms around his waist – how I've missed this, how I've missed him. He wraps an arm around me as the other covers his eyes. "Come with me," I tell him as I pull him towards my back door.

We make our way, barefoot, down the path through the trees and flowers, running parallel to the river. I pick some flowers as we go and we stop before the path breaks off into the forest.

At the place we had stopped I had set up a garden swing with overhanging lattices that had roses growing over them. Next to it was a small bird bath/fountain. The swing was angled to face the base of a tree that stood next to the creek. At the base was a small tombstone that read I haven't met you yet, but you're my favorite angel. The area around it was already covered in flowers, but I pulled Scorpius along with me and set the bouquet of flowers I had gathered along the way at the foot of the stone anyway.

Scorpius kneeled down next to it, letting go of my hand. I kissed the top of his head, "I'll be up at the house," and I let him be. He needed time to process it. I had near 7 years, but he's had less than 24 hours to even cope.

…..

I spent a few hours cleaning and showering. I changed into my favorite long white summer dress with my crazy curly hair in a side braid, put together a small picnic basket, grabbed my pencil and sketch book, and then made my way back to Scorpius.

When I reached him, I found him sitting on the swing with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his fingers, as if he was planning or just thinking.

I made my way over to him and kissed the top of his head. The ease with how simple it was to fall into loving him and the acts of affection I would only show to him should have scared me, but it didn't in the slightest. It was easy, it was simple, it was Rose and Scorpius.

He looked up at me, "I brought lunch."

We ate our lunch next to the creek, in our little clearing. Now Scorpius was leaning back on his hands with his legs stretched out in front of him and I had my head in his lap as I sketched. It was easy with him. I know I shouldn't have let him in back that easily, but after what he's told me and what I've told and shown him, it was only natural to go back to loving each other.

He ran his fingers through the roots of my hair since it was still loosely braided and he put wild flowers in my hair.

"Rose?"

"Mmmm?"

"Do your parents know? About the baby and the miscarriage, I mean?"

I set my sketch down and look up at him. After about a minute I finally answer, "Yeah. During one of their visits, Dad came to find me here, just staring off with a lost look on my face. Well, he saw the stone and put two and two together. He knew I've never gotten over you, so figured out he was yours. Well, being Dad, he got all upset at you but I talked him out of his anger, telling him how you never knew and that there was nothing that could be done. It took him a little while but he accepted the fact, and I made him promise to not tell anyone, especially you. Only him and mum. He sat with me for a while after that, silently. I guess he was trying to accept the fact that he would have had a grandchild but was deprived, much like you are coping now.

"Well, we had been out here so long that Mum ended up coming out here and figuring it out right quick, being Mum and all. She took it a bit nosier than Dad, but they helped each other cope, thankfully. I think it helped them also forgive me much quicker for skipping out on everyone. After all, they are still the only ones who know I'm here, besides you that is. I haven't seen everyone else in 7 years," I admit as I go back to staring off into the woods.

"Rosie?"

"Hmmmm?"

"It's Al's birthday tomorrow and your Aunt Ginny is throwing a family party. Why don't you come with me?"

"I….I'm not sure, Scorpius. I don't think they'll react very well."

"Rosie, they're your family. Yeah, they'll be upset that you haven't talked or seen them in 7 years, but they'll be happier that you're finally back more than anything else. Besides, Al is still my best friend and he'd never forgive for missing his birthday. And I've finally found you after all this time, so I'm not letting you out of my sight any time soon."

I twirled the end of my braid between my fingers and let out a defeated sigh. "I can't very well be the one to blame for missing the party. I guess it's about time I've come back."

His face split into the biggest smile I've ever seen and he lent down to kiss me. How I've missed the feel of his lips on mine. I run my fingers through his hair to hold his head in a place a little longer. He pulls back and gazes at me with adoration sparkling in his eye.

And it's starting to feel like home again in his arms. And that's all I've wanted all these years.

A/N: please tell me if you like it or not, and if I should write another chapter or leave it like this!