Yuffie's Guide to Everything

By:

Mystwalker

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII.

A/N: Finally, The Vincent is out. I'm sorry this took so long. Life caught up with me, and Another Side got demanding and I really, really, really wanted to write Our Generation, but here it is. Enjoy it!

Thanks go to Furionknight, JazzQueen, DJ Meltdown of Ground Xero, TOWTWUKER, random-k, and HeartofFyrwinde for your reviews and supported. It's much appreciated!

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Subject 06: The Vincent

Also Known As: Vincent. Vincent Valentine. Vinnie. Vin-Vin. Ex-Turkey. Vampire dude. Sir Emopants III.

Can Be Found In: The dark corners of the world under the shadows of death and despair. Or something as sufficiently emo as that. What this usually means is that he's always off brooding by himself when we make camp, or in his tent, or up a tree. Check the nearest tree. (Seriously, Vinnie, not helping the vampire image).

Physical Characteristics: It's really hard to describe Vincent's appearance. On one hand, it looks like he fell into a dumpster while covered in superglue and magnets and decided to keep whatever stuck to his body. But on the other hand, damnhe can pull it off. By all rights, he should look completelyridiculous—the man has a ratty red cape, a bandanna, and a gold claw for Leviathan's sake!—but you know what? He's not actually that bad. (Except for those shoes. I have a vendetta against those pointy shoes. Side note, he's not amused when you sneak into his tent and attempt to pry them off his feet and chuck them off a cliff.)

I think part of it is Vinnie does have this whole mysterious brooding vampire thing going on. He has long black hair—not as long as Seph's, but long enough, that he ties back with a bandanna and oh Gaia, those eyes. That color of red should not, cannot, and must not be normal, but when he looks at you, it's like the sort of thing that makes crazy fangirls weak at the knees and he has a deep voice and—er…where was I going with this?

Ummm…soooo…yeah.

Vincent. Vampire. Yep. Not—not like I'm into that! Vampires were soooo last year!

Oh, and he fights with a gun, which he wields with scary accuracy. And he can also transform into a lot of different interesting things.

Yuffie's Rating: Uh…I'll come back to this one!

Notable Behavior: Vincent broods. Like a lot. Like a "seriously, cut it out, life actually isn't all that bad" lot. I mean, you know, in fairness, dude has kind of had it hard, what with being at Hojo's mercy, then left for dead in a coffin for thirty years, then waking up and having to deal with the voices in his head while attempting to save the world. Not to mention, the girl he liked dumped him for HOJO which is like a special kind of wrong.

That said, Vinnie has a pretty strong tendency to sit off by himself and stare into the distance, even more than Sephiroth does. That's not to say he's brooding all the time. When he's not being Lifesucks McSlitwrist, he's a pretty reliable guy. He looks out for everyone's welfare (but on the down low, because he's Vinnie), and knows just about everything that's going on (because the guy was once a Turk, and Turks are weird and creepy like that). He's got a dry sense of humor, and has been seen to occasionally make a snarky remark, kind of like Seph does.

Favorite People: Huh…this is a difficult question for Vin Vin. Where to start? Well, everyone likes puppies, so Zack it is!

I was over this in Zack's entry. Zack's friends with everyone. Like, everyone. Unless you're like completely evil, Zack will probably want to be friends with you. So it goes without saying that of course, Zack is friends with Vincent. Vinnie just doesn't know it yet! Zack has made it his mission in life to get Vinnie to string two sentences together in a conversation on his own, so he'll often invite Vincent over to sit around the campfire and talk. I think Vinnie secretly has a soft spot for Zack—which would surprise absolutely nobody. Except maybe Zack. But for all his ability to read people, he can be really dense when it concerns him.

And then there's Sephiroth. In another life, Vinnie might have been Sephy's father. (And between you and me, I'm still not convinced he isn't. But Vinnie won't let me close enough to get a DNA sample, and after Operation Pink Panther, Sephy ain't letting me anywhere near his hair.) Vincent had a thing for Sephiroth's mom, and Sephy was more relieved to hear that than anybody should have a right to be, because it told him that his mom wasn't really a creepy face-stealing alien. Just a scientist willing to use him for an experiment. Hey, sometimes, angst is relative! Seph's probably one of the few people Vincent goes out of his way to talk to, probably because he feels some sort of responsibility to Lucrecia to look out for him, and Sephiroth respects him a lot. (And it's occurred to me that Vincent would totally be able to make a 'your mom' joke, and Seph wouldn't be able to say anything. Hah.)

Again, like I mentioned, Tifa and Vincent get along fine, no problems there. They don't talk a whole lot because Vincent makes a rock look conversational, but there's respect there. Tifa remembers him when it's time to eat, Vincent says thank you, Tifa smiles, and all's well and good. He and Cid have this whole bromance thing going on—see my entry on El—The Cid for that, it's all weird loner guy stuff. . And there's nothing really to report between him and Kunsel. They get along, Vincent respects him and vice versa, they don't step on each other's toes, and everything's okay. Kunsel has a habit of being really sneaky and observant, something that Vinnie recognizes in himself, so that probably helps too. I think Vincent thinks there's more to Kunsel than meets the eye, which makes me wonder about that too.

Buuuut, anyway…

Vinnie and Cloud get along okay. They don't really get each other right now, but I think they might really be kindred spirits under all of that. Vincent and Cloud both have this annoying habit of taking responsibility for everything. And I mean everything. If one of their friends so much as sneezes in their presence, they will find a way to blame themselves and say they should have gotten said friend out of the rain.

He and Red are pretty close, and not just because they're both outcasts that share the same favorite color (I have it on good authority that contrary to popular believe, Red's favorite color is actually purple. Um…I think). He and Red can usually be seen sitting together a little bit away from the campfire, talking about boring things like stars or people (I'm not talking about gossip either. We're talking conversations about human nature here.) Then again, they are two of the longest lived people on this team, so I guess they can kind of make sense! Like two old people talking in a nursing home~ Kids these days.

And speaking of the strange and wonderful, Vincent and Aerith make for an interesting combination. They don't talk a whole whole lot, not really, although Aerith does try to reach out to him from time to time, but that doesn't mean Vincent hasn't noticed that there's something a little…more than human about her. He definitely gets the whole otherworldly vibe Aerith has going for her sometimes, and there have been times when I've caught him giving her this look of…awe (?). I think that's the right word. Vinnie probably has the same feeling the rest of us do—Aerith's important somehow, and it's all going to boil down to her sooner or later. (Although my awesome ninja skills are gonna make it a good fight!)

In The Cissnei, I mentioned "the Turk Effect", otherwise known as this weird invisible suit that every member of the Turks seem to be wearing that allow them to identify each other at a glance. Being a Turk, even an ex-Turk (or even a rookie Turk like Elena) kind of makes you family (the kind of 'family' that wears suits, has their claws in half the world, and causes enemies to go sleep with the fishes). So because of this, it's no surprise that Vincent has some sort of weird "we're on opposite sides but I still acknowledge you, and dammit, I'm senior, so show me some respect, you whippersnappers" thing going on with Tseng and co. Not that he'll say so much outright. Sometimes he'll just glare. But Vinnie takes first place in the "AVALANCHE Scariest Glare" competition, narrowly beating out Seph as second. The red eyes sell it, I'm telling you. (Reno dropped Vincent's arm like it was made of lava after a Vinnie-Glare the last time he tried to hold Vincent back.)

Nothing much to report on the Vincent and Barret front, the two don't really interact. Except maybe to talk guns. And even then, it's just Barret chattering with the occasional grunt from Vincent, followed by Barret glancing at him and saying "You ain't much a talker, are you?" like this is big news. It's not that Vincent doesn't like Barret, though. Oh no. You'll know if Vincent doesn't like you. You'll know very fast. And then you'll probably die. Or wet yourself. Or both.

Speaking of the Turk Effect, nowhere does it show more effect than it does with Cissnei. Vinnie and Cissy are both Ex-Turks, and like I mentioned in her entry, this is a big deal. It means they're still part of the same 'family', except Cissy is the red-headed stepchild who nobody understands, and Vinnie is like the old uncle who lives upstairs who everyone leaves alone and who has made it his mission to keep the little brat off the streets because he sees a little bit of himself in her. Vincent sees what all of us with two eyes and half a brain see—Cissy is head-over-heels in love with Sephiroth and won't admit it. Since Vincent has ample experience with love that is only unrequited because one party is being a weirdo and the regret that comes afterward, he can occasionally be seen trying to steer Cissnei in the right direction by telling her straight out to tell Sephiroth what he feels. (Note: For Vinnie, this isn't 'steering', this is putting out the detour signs and shooting flares—FOR LEVIATHAN'S SAKE, GIRL, LISTEN TO HIM! DO YOU WANT TO END UP UNHAPPY, POSSESSED AND WEARING POINTY SHOES?)

Er…yeah…so we're at that part of this list, aren't we? The Vinnie and the Yuffie…or as I like to call them…Valenffie! (What? It'll catch on!) Ooh, or maybe…Vinaragi! (Yufficent? Kisatine? Gosh, this is harder than it looks…)

Um…so…yeah. Nothing to see here. Move along people! Sheesh, don't any of you have jobs? Get lost!

…

Ugh, fine. I'd like to think that Vinnie and I make a good team, and he at least tolerates my presence (He better! Because I'm not going to stop bugging him until he does!) He talks to me in that "why are you still here?" tone, but he doesn't really tell me to go away, just says things like "Don't you want to go talk to Aerith?" in an attempt to grab my attention. But it's not gonna work! So yeah, that's totally it. It's weird, but it works, what more do you wanna know?

…

Okay fine, Ialsothinkhe'stotallyhot.

Happy now, you vultures?!

"Oi, brat, what're you blushing at?!" shouted Cid from over the campfire. "You writing in your #*%ing diary again?!"

"It's not a diary!" shouted Yuffie, face red.

Erm…um…so, yeah. Where was I?

I'd like to say that's all the people Vincent likes, but there is one other. Lucrecia. Otherwise known as Sephiroth's mom. I don't know the full story about her—Vinnie's never told me, but from what I can gather, Vincent didn't say anything and she ended up going to Hojo, who then used her unborn son as a guinea pig for his science project. (Oh, and KILLED Vinnie. That's kind of a big deal). In my opinion, anyone that would pass up Vincent for Hojo needs to get their head examined, but…

…it's a touchy subject with him. So…yeah. Old wounds. Don't poke them.

"Wanna tell me about her?" asked Yuffie, sitting with Vincent on a patch of grass just close enough away from the camp to see and hear them, but far enough away to not be heard. It was Vincent's favorite distance, and she hadn't really had to look very hard to find the gunslinger. He gave her his usual stare as she approached, but he didn't really say anything as she plopped herself down on the grass, turning towards him.

"Who?" asked Vincent.

"You know," said Yuffie, twirling her fingers together. She didn't look directly at him, her knees drawn up close to her chest. "Lucrecia."

Vincent's frown was answer enough. "Why do you want to know about that?" he asked.

"Because I just do," said Yuffie. "I mean, you're one of the group, so…um, guess you could say I'm kind of curious?"

He looked away, glancing back at the ground. Yuffie frowned, sitting back on the grass and waiting. She could be surprisingly patient when she had to be, but that didn't mean she wasn't completely stubborn too. At length, he sighed, glancing at her. "It's not important," he said.

"Maybe," said Yuffie. "I'm just curious. Did you love her?"

Vincent's silence was answer enough.

Least Favorite People: Vincent's not a social guy, but hate is a strong word for him. Hate is reserved for the people that he really dislikes, the people that can go burn in hell. He dislikes the Shinra company, but he doesn't have the same hate for it that some people here do (like Barret). I feel like if Rufus decided the next day that he was going to stop fighting and having people killed, Vincent would be okay with that. Barret, for example, might not. I can see Rufus and Vincent having a civil conversation when all's said and done—not a friendly conversation, but—you know. Civil.

For the Tsviets, the answer's less clear. I think in Vincent's mind, fighting them is really more of a necessity than an emotional venture. Weiss isn't going to stop, so he needs to die. Nero is gonna keep on killing people, so he needs to die. The same thing goes for Rosso, and for Azul. Shelke has some hope going for her—he'll save her if he can. It's a little more heated with Rosso, Nero, and Weiss (they obviously get on his nerves), but still. When you get down to the wire, it's execution, not revenge killing. Turk-style.

Genesis pisses him off, you can tell, and Jenova disturbs him, but it's not his fight. He fights because Lucrecia's son is in the game, not necessarily because he has any particular grudge.

There is someone he does hate, though. Hojo. If the group had a contest to see who has more cause to turn Hojo into Swiss cheese, Vincent would win hands down. Sephiroth might be the only person who comes close to having more reason to hate Hojo than Vincent does. Vincent doesn't show emotion, but when Hojo comes up, you can tell. There's fury there, all distilled into one heated glare. It's like if he could, he would rip Hojo apart, and he wouldn't even use his gun or one of his Limits to do it.

Recommendation: Hmm…tough. If you're really determined to be Vincent's friend, you kind of have a hard road ahead of you. He's not an easy person to get to know, and he's got walls like a maximum security prison. I recommend the Yuffie Method. Stay with him, talk to him, and don't let him tune out to the conversation. It's going to feel like you're talking to a wall, but hang in there! If he stays put, he's listening. If he leaves, don't follow him—try again next time. Persistence is the key!

And I swear, I will wear him down!

Final Conclusion: Vinnie's interesting. He's not really obtrusive or overt, but you always know he's there. He's like that shadow at the edge of your vision that you just can't shake—you know where he is in a room. He might not seem like it at first glance but he's very…intense. He's not unemotional, on the contrary, he feels things like a storm. He just doesn't show it. He's very controlled, but you get the feeling that if he dropped that, you'd be blown away.

And, yes, he's totally hot. I mean, dang.

Thankfully, he doesn't know about this book, so I can say whatever I want!