Warning: Slash. YAOI. guy x guy. Ralph x Felix. No like? No read.

Mud was probably the most annoying thing in the world.

Ralph knew this. He knew real well.

So for those programs (mostly female) who often talked about wanting to go have mud baths, he only had two words for them:

What is wrong with you?

...

Okay five words.

But he was having a bad day, so whatever...

"Arcade's closed!" he heard off in the distance, probably from that Dance Dance Revolution girl. In response, he only scowled, still sprawled out in the disgusting goo. Great. So now, after being mercilessly thrown off the roof nonstop since opening time, he had the joy and pleasure of watching everybody in the game once more isolate him like a demented monster.

But that was fine. Because he was the bad guy and deserved it, right?

Apparently, abandonment was the only way he'd ever be truly recognized. Not that do that again—Calhoun actually threatened to 'game over' him if he did—but still.

He wanted to change his life for the better. Not receive temporary gratitude for two weeks then later get discarded like garbage.

Maybe he was never meant to enjoy life...

"Ralph?"

Oh, great. Felix. Just the guy he wanted to see.

"Hon, are you okay?"

"Fine," Ralph hissed through gritted teeth, pointedly staring away in the opposite direction of his best friend-now-boyfriend. His annoyance at the tiny handyman was irrational, he knew. After all, it wasn't like Felix could control how often players chose their game. But Ralph wasn't thinking quite clearly, and the fact that he had a bit of a temper didn't help at all.

Hopefully, he wouldn't do—or say—something that he'd regret later.

The last thing he needed was to damage their newfound relationship before it even got going.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Felix asked softly, squatting down to better look at his boyfriend, who was still questionably flat on his stomach. In return, Ralph scowled and finally sat up, crossing his arms.

"How could I hurt myself?" he snapped, earning a cringe from his counterpart. "It's not like I jumped off the roof willingly."

"R-right! I—I'm sorry, I just w-wanted to know if you were okay..." stammered the smaller man as he stood up, nervously twiddling his thumbs. He attempted to maintain eye-contact, but the anger in Ralph's face was too much for him to handle. It hurt. "I..."

"Forget it. Just...just go home, Felix," sighed the wrecker, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He really wished there were a few jaw-breakers he could smash right about now. Or maybe even a few cybugs.

It took him a second to realize that Felix hadn't moved from his spot and remained staring cautiously at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see him open and close his mouth like a lost fish, unsure of what he needed to say.

"What?" Ralph sharply demanded, sounding much, much harsher than he intended. Startled at his tone, Felix began stuttering, incoherent.

"I—jus—you—this—but—no, I—you—we—"

"What exactly are you going on about?"

"Just..." Trembling, the handyman fumbled with something around his neck, eyes downcast. He shakily managed to slip off a shiny golden medal and shyly held it out to the confused wrecker. "I...this...yours..."

"M-mine?" Ralph muttered, surprised. Sure enough, there was his name, engraved, in the dead center of the glinting plate. He watched in awe as Felix expertly hopped up and placed the prize around his large neck, biting his lip. "Wow..."

"Yeah...uhm, I'll leave you alone now..."

Ralph's head instantly shot up as his counterpart turned and began to hurry away, towards the direction of the mini-train station. Immediately, he panicked.

"Huh? What the—wait, Felix!" he called as he scrambled after the fix-it guy. For such a tiny man, he sure could cover quite a distance in just a few seconds. But instead of replying, Felix stiffened and quickened his pace, refusing to look back. Ralph noticed this and broke into a full-out sprint. "Wait! Please, I'm sorry! Don't leave me!"

It suddenly occurred to him that his last outburst applied to more than simply this situation. If he screwed up as much as he thought he did, then he'd be begging his boyfriend the same thing for an entirely different reason.

However, it seemed that luck finally decided to join his side; he successfully managed to not only catch up with Felix, but also quite literally catch him. To add to that, the virtual mud finally dried up and vanished, so he had no problem pulling the handyman into his arms.

"Felix, baby, please don't go," Ralph pled, trying to meet his counterpart's gaze, which he was still being refused of. Frowning, Felix only pulled the brim of his cap further down to hide his eyes. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to snap at you..."

He didn't get a verbal response. Probably because Felix wouldn't stop squirming and trying to escape his firm grip.

Feeling like a giant jerk, Ralph lifted his boyfriend to his face and pecked his lips quickly.

He was shocked with the wetness he suddenly felt on his face when they pulled apart. Tears. But they weren't his.

Oh, God.

"Lixie?"

Sniffle.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

Two sniffles.

"Are you—? Oh, shoot. Did I make you...?"

"N-no..."

Congratulations, Ralph. You just made your sweet little boyfriend cry for the first time since you've known him.

"Felix..."

"R-Ralph, y-you can p-put me down n-now...I d-don't wanna b-bother you a-anymore..."

Aaaand Biggest Jerkwad of the Century goes to...

"Fix-It Felix, Jr., never think that you'd ever be a bother to me," Ralph sternly told him, walking back towards the new neighborhood they had recently built. He felt Felix attempt to escape once more, so he quickly tightened his hold. "Baby, I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. I'm sorry."

"Y-you don't have to—"

"Yes, I do. I had no reason to snap at you like that." When they reached his apartment, Ralph kicked the door open, ignoring his boyfriend's tiny protests. After securing the lock, he traipsed over to the couch and heavily sat down. "I'm sorry," he repeated guiltily, his heart clenching painfully when the light brunette only looked away.

"Felix?"

"..."

"Lixie, sweetheart? Baby?" Ralph tried again, hurt by the relentless silence from his...boyfriend...

Oh, great, he mentally groaned, screwing his eyes shut in frustration. Felix was going to end it, wasn't he? They hadn't even been dating for a week and Ralph had already managed to wreck everything.

Professionally.

"You hate me now, don't you?"

"W-what?" squeaked Felix in surprise, finally looking up to face the taller man. Though that was what Ralph originally wanted, he couldn't help but wince when he saw just how puffy Felix's eyes were and how red his nose had become. This is all your work, genius. "No, Ralph! I don't."

"You should," Ralph sighed, gently wiping his companion's tears away. He held him close, not willing to risk the chance of possibly losing him. Of losing his love and affection. Now that he knew how wonderful being in a relationship was—being in a relationship with someone he'd grown to love for over thirty years—the idea of losing all that before he even had a chance to make the best of it just seemed flat-out impossible. Incomprehensible. No way he'd let Felix go. Not without a fight. Not without trying. "I'm sorry, okay? Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was having a bad day..."

"T-tell me, then...I want to help." Felix actually smiled at him—encouragingly, hopefully—despite the tears. Once more, Ralph had the sudden impulse to punch himself in the face. He hurt the guy, said mean things, made him cry...and now what?

Felix was comforting him. Trying to brighten his terrible day.

Nothing could possibly make him feel even more like a jerk now...

"You're...already helping me enough," admitted Ralph softly, pressing their foreheads together. Felix patted his cheek reassuringly, as though prompting him to continue and spill his thoughts. Which he was honestly willing to do. "Like I said, I was having a bad day. I mean, so many kids...so many rounds..."

"And you got tired of being thrown off the roof. I know...I felt so bad for you..."

"You did?"

"Of course I did! I woulda came over to kiss you, but we never got a break or anything. So I made the medal instead!"

Correction. It was very possible for him to feel even more like a jerk.

For example, Exhibit A was adorably looking at him straight in the eye.

"You made this for me?"

"Yeah...I begged Gene to give me the shiniest medal he had," Felix happily told him, grinning captivatingly (Ralph forgot how to breathe a little there). "Well, now that you think about it, all I really did was put your name on it and keep it clean till I gave it to ya."

"O-oh...I...wow..."

"But you really do deserve it! We all think so."

"Who's 'we'?" I've been getting the cold-shoulder lately, mentally sulked the giant man, back to his moody demeanor. Nobody but you's really on my side.

"All of us here at Niceland," the handyman clarified, though slightly confused. Who else was Ralph talking about?

"Maybe you, Felix. But I'm not liked around here," Ralph muttered, the small amount of happiness he previously had from the medal and his boyfriend fading significantly. In response, Felix tapped his head imploringly, shaking his head.

"Of course you are. Why else are they—" Suddenly, he slapped a hand to his mouth, eyes wide. Ralph, intrigued at this strange reaction, nudged the handyman with a smirk.

"Tell me."

"I—oh, my land, they will kill me if I tell you..."

"Oh, c'mon! Gimme a break, will ya, Lixie? I promise I won't say a thing." To further emphasize that promise, the wrecker held his massive right hand up in a solemn oath, nodding.

"Okay," Felix relented with a giggle, rolling his eyes. As an afterthought, he pecked the center of Ralph's palm brazenly, something that had the large brunette blushing like a cherry. "But this is our secret, okay?"

"Sure, baby..."

"Well, they're planning a surprise party for you."

"They're planni—"

"Don't!" gasped the smaller man, quickly covering his boyfriend's lips with his own. He found that the most effective way to keep Ralph quiet. (Unbeknownst to Felix, the wrecker felt the same about him).

"Bold, aren't we?" teased Ralph when they pulled back, his heart lighter than before. He watched in amusement as his partner's face flushed about ten shades of red. Cute. I'm dating such a cute guy. Grinning, he stole a handful more kisses, each one sending his heart in a crazy overdrive. "I love you."

Blushing in embarrassment, butterflies uncontrollable in his stomach, Felix nodded and tipped his hat playfully. "Love you, too, Ralphy."

"Even after I was such a mean poo-head?"

"You're no...poo-head." (Ralph had to laugh at how bashful Felix sounded as he whispered the not-really-swear-word.) "And even if you were—which I'm not saying you were—I still would love you."

And just like that, the world made a one-eighty-degree turn. His so-called 'bad day' was almost completely forgotten. A distant event. Chuckling, the nine-foot man winked, ecstatic and extremely grateful to have such a nice, caring boyfriend. He couldn't wait to see how their new future together would pan out. Amazing, definitely. "Good to know. Now..."

"W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing...just, I'm about to kiss you senseless."

"What? Why?"

"Well, you never really forgave me. I need to convince you somehow that I'm really sorry."

"I forgive you! I forgive y—mmph!"

Too late.

Soft, sensual, chaste.

Ralph loved how perfectly their mouths fit together, as though they were programmed to that way. He loved how right it was to have Felix in his arms, how amazing it felt to whisper sweet-nothings into his ear, and to receive them right back.

He especially adored his new nickname.

Ralphy.

He died every single time Felix called him that.

There were no words to describe that kind of joy. No amount of medals could ever make him feel the same.

Because...now that he thought about it...

Wasn't Felix a medal in disguise?

"My...Ralphy..."

But not just any medal...

"My Lixie..."

The best.

A/N: No reason for this one xD I seriously just went off in a tangent. Gosh.

So this takes place near the beginning of their relationship. Ahem.

Happy New Year, by the way! Let's hope for the best~

Disclaimer: I don't own WIR. Santa has yet to make this happen.