Hello lovely Readers! I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Welcome to my new story, I hope you all enjoy it! It is set around 6 months after Charlie's 'death', but don't worry it is a Chax story, and just as a side note Casey is in jail. Please let me know what you think! X

Now you see her:

Chapter one: Memories of Charlie

Grief can destroy you -or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it. But when it's over and you're alone, you begin to see that it wasn't just a movie and a dinner together, not just watching sunsets together, not just scrubbing a floor or washing dishes together or worrying over a high electric bill. It was everything; it was the why of life, every event and precious moment of it. The answer to the mystery of existence is the love you shared sometimes so imperfectly, and when the loss wakes you to the deeper beauty of it, to the sanctity of it, you can't get off your knees for a long time, you're driven to your knees not by the weight of the loss but by gratitude for what preceded the loss. And the ache is always there, but one day not the emptiness, because to nurture the emptiness, to take solace in it, is to disrespect the gift of life. What you have lost will not be returned to you. It will always be lost. You're left with only your scars to mark the void. All you can choose to do is go on or not. But if you go on it's knowing you carry your scars with you. Nevertheless, over all those wasted months, he had held in his mind the wish to kiss her on the back of her neck, the wish to hold her in his arms, the wish to see her smile, those bright eyes eyes shining back at him.

Brax sighed as he woke up, failing to catch any dreams that night and failing to sleep at all, it'd been restless, leading up to this day he had been restless, he'd shut people out and shut down altogether, with the half empty bottle of vodka by his bedside, it didn't look as though things were going to change.

Rolling over onto his side, he reached his arm out as if he were about to hold her close to him; after all, it only felt like yesterday that she was in that very position. The first thing he saw was her picture haunting its way through his eyes, tearing him apart from the inside, glancing at the clock on the wall he knew he had no chance, 5:00 am, all chance of sleep had gone. A quiet, lonely room; some people would kill for the chance for some peace from humanity, some time to yourself, but why would Brax want to be alone when he once had Charlie?

Her image haunted him the whole night, each living hour she managed to break him a bit more, tear him apart from the inside. The date on the clock sticks out like a sore thumb, June 7th 2012, some people will continue about their normal days with no care in the world. Others, not so lucky.

Today was her birthday.

Supposed to be filled with fun, laughter and happiness. Breakfast in bed, a day treating her to whatever she wished; a night full of passion and just, quite simply loving each other like there was no tomorrow. Brax still loved Charlie like there was no tomorrow, he'd even set his alarm for 8 am thinking he needed to make her breakfast in bed, he was silently cursing himself because he knew she wasn't there, he just wanted her to be.

He had a hard time accepting what people had told him, that Charlie was just a memory.

All the time he stares at the clock silently, his own gaunt reflection staring right back at him. His own pained expression hitting him in the face, he felt the familiar fog cover his eyes, through the mist he manages to look into the reflection again, only this time, the clock isn't there anymore. He's staring at a long neon green line, going up and down, up and down, up and down, with her lifeless reflection hazy in the glass. He can't see her eyes, they've been closed for 24 hours now, and he can't see the life in her anymore.

84, 83, 81, 84, 0…..

He even remembers the pattern of her heart before it stopped, before someone reached down and stubbed out her flame. And he still to this very day finds it just as hard to grasp the concept that he can never look into her eyes again. He can never tell her he loves her and get a response. Groaning silently to himself he ran his hands over his face, nothing had ever been easy without her, no hour, no minute, no second of any day, and it didn't look as though that was about to change. He twisted the ring around his finger quickly, like a cyclone; he was trying to spin her image from his mind. It never worked.

"I miss you so much" he sighed, letting a lone tear trail along his cheek bone

As he began to get dressed and grabbed his board shorts from the floor for the long day ahead he found himself plagued by more memories as his eyes met that one box he'd not touched since the very day they'd departed, his eyes scanned the black marker writing over and over again

'Memories of Charlie'

'Memories of Charlie' she still followed him everywhere he went, everyday he woke she was the first thing on his mind, before bed she was the last thing on his mind…no lads night out or night in with Natalie could ever change that.

Little did he know somewhere out there she thought of him too. Each lonely night in, each long day out, he was on her mind.

He trudged into the kitchen, his eyes slightly puffy, his cheeks slightly red and his composure strewn and worn…. his hair was rugged, just how Charlie used to like it,

How she still liked it.

His feet scuffed the floor as he stood patiently by the sink, waiting for the kettle to fill up, he gazed out of the window someone catching his eye as they jogged across the street, for a split second he could of sworn it was Charlie, his Charlie just how she used to be jogging quiet and content as she listened to the blaring music through her headphones, then reality hit him, that wasn't Charlie, and she never would be no matter how much he wanted her to be, Natalie would always be his second best; Charlie after all was the love of his life.

"Mate, I think that kettles full" Heath said, letting out a small laugh as Brax snapped out of his trance "Geez mate I know she's your girlfriend but can you at least take your eyes off her for a second" Heath joked, completely forgetting what day it was, how difficult it was for his brother.

"Can you not, Heath" Brax snapped, glaring at his brother with piercing eyes, still red from the strain of holding back his tears

"Yes princess Darryl" Heath teased, taking advantage of his brother's fragile state, chuckling as he watched Brax tense and clench his jaw

"I don't have time for this" Brax mumbled to Heath before storming out of the house, the door slamming shut behind him, making the walls shake and tremble, resembling Brax's mood

…

Brax made a silent attempt at holding back his anguish as he stared into the perfect picture of her as he stood before her grave that morning, the sun streaming through the few clouds, the waves crashing beneath the lonely cliff top, it was a beautiful morning

"Not as beautiful as you" He muttered to her as he sat down opposite her, his mind gazing at the date of death on the grave

24th January 2012. The day they lost there fight.

"I miss this" He smiled, gently running the pad of his thumb along her smile "I miss your laugh, seeing you on the beach, how am I supposed to do this anymore Charlie?" he asked pleadingly, as he stared at the picture of her he felt his heart tremor with loss. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

"Do you know how much I'd give just for you to say you love me again?" he asked, as if he was expecting a reply

"I'd give the world for it" he admitted, shaking his head softly as tear tracks lined his cheeks.

Little did he know somewhere in the world, she was saying I love you to him each night, just to be sure they'd once been together. She prayed each day she'd get a chance to see those eyes staring back at her, that it really hadn't been as long as she'd believed.

"Nothing's the same Charlie" Brax told her, picking at the grass beneath his feet

"I'm so numb Charlie, I can't love anymore,"

"You see some woman I know, she captured my heart, stole it as she died, it never came back." he sniffed, failing to raise a smile anymore as he stared back at the photo on her gravestone, her eyes burning straight through him.

"So I've come to the conclusion that the big man upstairs must have been one angel short aye? Well he got her!" Brax sighed "He got my angel."

…..

Brax stood aimlessly staring at the cardboard box that was placed before him on the floor of his room, never had something so simple been so daunting.

He hadn't touched it since the day she died.

He hadn't planned on going through it anytime soon either.

But as he knew all too well, things don't always go to plan.

"Here goes Charlie" he muttered as he opened the light brown flaps of the box, her belongings strewn inside, the one single box she'd packed and left at his house, ready for their new lives together.

He felt fresh tears prick his eyes as he held her cream silk nightdress; it was so untouched it still smelt like her, her perfume lingered through the air. It was something he cherished as he held it close to his chest. Her scent was like a breath of fresh air.

He stilled momentarily as he eyed up three familiar items, three objects that held a precious memory between them, one he'd never shared with anyone.

"Brax where are we going?" Charlie giggled as he guided her blindfolded through the streets of Yabbie creek

"We're nearly there" Brax laughed as he turned her body to the left stopping at the entrance of a small shop

"Brax seriously, we've stopped now, take the blindfold off!" Charlie demanded impatiently, smiling as he tugged at the knot in the material and she saw what shop they were outside of: 'Mother and Baby'

Brax drew a deep breath as he pulled them out of the box, a little pair of cream babies booties, so unworn they were still soft to the touch, he sighed as he picked up the baby bib with 'My dads a stud' written in a beige colour across the front. He smiled as he picked up the last item, a book on all things pregnancy related,

"I'm not going through nine months with you not knowing how to deal with my hormones" Charlie had said as they trawled through the shop

Placing the items on the bed he reached into the box and pulled out camera tapes she'd had developed merely days before the end of their life "We are not letting these memories pass us by" she had said

He hesitated before turning the TV slipping one into the DVD unit; he smiled softly as the room was filled with the sound of her soft serene voice.

"Oh Brax" Charlie sung as she entered their room, the morning sunlight streaming through the curtains "Good morning sleepy head" She giggled as he groaned in his sleep

"Charlie, what are you doing?" Brax mumbled sleepily as the bed springs compressed and she crawled over to him, still filming the occasion on camera

"I'm filming our last few days and nights in summer bay, I wanna remember them" Charlie said, you could sense her smiling from behind the lens, you could hear her giggle as he opened one eye and kept the other firmly closed.

"You couldn't have filmed this when I looked more attractive?" Brax asked sarcastically raising his eyebrows at her. She giggled again before snuggling up to him and holding the camera above them.

"Just think 3 more days and then…you and I are gonna be free." She smiled, kissing his lips gently and passionately.

"I'm counting the hours." Brax smiled as he broke their kiss.

Brax smiled, continuing to let the memory unfold on the TV screen, her voice pouring through the speakers, it was like she was still here, talking to him now.

His thoughts got ripped to shreds as Heath fell into the room, his eyes instantly falling on the baby shoes lying on the bed.

"Ah mate you're whipped!" Heath yelled, grabbing the booties before Brax had a chance to react.

….

"Heath just give them back" Brax demanded through gritted teeth down the corridor, failing to realize Ruby and Bianca were in the kitchen.

"Oh come on mate, you can't keep it a secret forever just let me show them to everyone" Heath teased

"Heath!" Brax boomed

"Heath for gods sake they're not for Nat" Brax sighed impatiently, earning a curious glance from Heath who cluelessly waved the booties teasingly a few feet from Brax "They're Charlie's!" Brax yelled, causing Bianca to gasp at what he'd admitted, not only had she had no clue about Charlie wanting more kids, but it'd been the first time her name had spilled from his lips since her death.

"Oh my god" Ruby whispered breathlessly

"Mine and Charlie's" Brax whispered, Heaths jaw dropping, never in the past six months had he seen Brax so torn up over his ex lover

"What?" Heaths tone had completely changed, it was softer this time, no teasing, no disrespect. Not only had he realized the enormity of his brothers revelation, he'd realized what day it was…

Her Birthday.

"You heard what I said Heath, don't play dumb"

"Did…did you want kids, with Charlie?" Heath asked, astonished by his brothers revelation, he'd never been close with Charlie Buckton, acquaintances was taking things to a stretch. But now, seeing his brother like this, he realized the extent of the damage her death had caused, the raw wounds jutting out from all angles

"What do think Heath?" Brax sighed, sinking down the wall slightly, partly relieved that he'd let some of his anguish out, even if it were only a small part

"Was…was Buckton pregnant?" Heath asked softly, sitting down next to Brax on the floor

"Was Charlie pregnant?" Ruby said, her voice catching in her throat as she spoke for the first time in a long while

"Nup, nup but that doesn't mean we weren't trying" Brax said sadly as his tears fell from his eyes, recalling the memories they had, where they spoke about the future, moving to the city and children, how much they had to live for…and now, he felt like he'd lost his whole world.

Charlie smiled as Brax's arms slipped behind her, the salty water droplets dripping off of him and dissolving into the sand

"I want one" Charlie smiled as she watched the family play out at sea, the father lifting the little boy onto the board and helping him gain his balance

"What a surf board, you should have said sooner," Brax teased as she leant her head back onto his shoulder, snuggling her body into his as they watched the young family.

"Not a surf board you idiot!" Charlie grinned, punching him in the shoulder lightly

"Have you ever thought of having a family?" Charlie asked, her smile never faltering as she continued to watch as the father helped his son back on to the board, only for the little kid to get back up again

"Sometimes…" Brax said vaguely

"Sometimes?" Charlie questioned, turning to face him

"Yeah, more often now…what about you?" Brax asked, chuckling to himself as the mother joined the father and son in the sea and the family splashed each other and mucked around.

"Recently, it's been on my mind a lot." Charlie nodded, playing with their entwined fingers "I never used to want anymore, I guess you just have to find the right person." She smiled softly as his lips parted into a grin, displaying his cute dimples

"I think we'd make pretty cute kids…" Charlie admitted, her cheeks reddening upon Brax's intense gaze on her.

"I reckon we'd make pretty cute kids too." Brax smiled, leaning forward and kissing Charlie gently on the lips "I wanna grow old with you." Brax murmured into her hairline as she leant her head onto his chest, smiling as he felt her lips part into a grin "And I want kids with you." he admitted "Really, really want kids with you." He said quietly, twisting his ring as she leant out of his embrace "Do you want kids with me?" he asked, his heart ready to burst as her face broke out into a huge grin

"There is nothing I want more." she whispered before leaning forward and kissing him passionately

"You sure, because you know, there's no backing out after that, you'll be stuck with me," he said cheekily, although Charlie saw the glimmer of fear in his eyes that she would leave him

"I reckon that's the best idea I've ever heard, and you Mr." She said pushing him back onto the sand and kneeling over him on all fours "are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"I didn't know she wanted more children" Ruby whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Not only did she used to want children with him, it still played on her mind each day, for one very prominent reason.

"She said she wanted a boy, that way she'd have one of each." Brax smiled, thinking of her telling him what she wanted, what she wanted for them, together, their future "And then she said she wanted another girl, so she could do things properly this time, how she felt she should have done with you," Brax said weakly, smiling up at Ruby.

"She was the best mum, I wouldn't have wanted any different." Ruby whispered, kneeling down into Brax's embrace as he held his arms out to the fragile little girl

"You know I thought you and Charlie were going to get married, have children, do all those things, have a happy ending…" Brax sighed heavily, removing himself from their embrace and heaving himself up from the floor, pacing to the other side of the room "Ruby don't do this." Brax sighed, scraping at imaginary crumbs on the table.

"You know mate you can still have that life, family, marriage, kids, happy ending" Heath encouraged, sitting opposite Brax who seemed to have blocked their voices out of his head

"Nup, nah not without Charlie." he said automatically, his tears clouding his vision "She was my happy ending."

"But she's gone Brax." Ruby stated factually, her blunt tone surprising everyone

"Ruby please don't say-"

"It's a fact Brax!" She screamed, "Now would you listen I didn't come here for me!" She snapped, cutting him off "I came for you."

"Ever since Charlie died…" she started, sighing when Brax shook his head to himself "Don't do that, listen to me." she said leaning forward, towards him from the coffee table where she was sitting

"I've been a mess, that strong girl out the funeral…I don't know where she's gone Brax?"

"She's still there Rubes." Brax insisted

"No." she shook her head "No she's not Brax,"

"I push all the people who love me away and cling on to the very few that stay, because I worry they'll disappear…" she said, her body trembling with tears

"Rubes-"

"And that's why I never have to cling onto you." She smiled weakly, letting the tears stream from her eyes "Because I know that no matter what, you're never going anywhere…you're never going to leave," Brax sighed as Ruby took a seat on the coffee table opposite him, her hand resting comfortingly on his knee

"And that's why you don't have to cling onto Charlie." Ruby said taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm not asking you to forget her, I'm not asking you to stop loving her, but you have to let go because no matter what she's always going to be there…Right in here, where she belongs"

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't let go. She was his and she'd been taken too soon. How could he let go?

…..

Brax frowned as he heard a faint knock on the door. He could see a blurred petite figure through the misty glass. Sighing to himself, he went to open it. He really wasn't in the mood for any company right now. He rolled his eyes as he saw who it was

"Hi, you want company" Natalie offered, raising her eyebrows at him and then frowning at the half drowned bottle of whiskey in his hands "You're drinking alone"

"I'm not lonely" Brax stated, taking another swig from the bottle.

"I didn't say you were lonely I said you were alone" Natalie corrected, sighing when she saw him start to play with the ring on his finger "Ok, do you want to talk?"

"Nup, funnily enough I don't Natalie, if you wanna talk then go and see someone who cares" Brax spat angrily, trying to slam the door on her, only to be taking aback by the shear force of her as she pushed back against him, her foot jamming its way between the door and the frame.

"I was just-"

"Another day Nat!" Brax said, pushing her foot away and violently shutting the door closed, yet to realize Heath had overheard the whole exchange.

"You know it must be strange…loving a ghost" Heath whispered to Brax, a small smile flickered across his face to his brother, but it wasn't teasing, mocking or disrespectful, rather pitying, sad and sympathetic.

"She's not a ghost Heath…not to me, she's the love of my life"

A ghost.

She never would be, or could be, in Brax's life she'd always be more than that, she'd left her mark and now he had to face the reality, what he wanted and what he needed, he could never have again.

She was gone,

For now.

Phew! I know that was quite heavy, but the next Chapter is very intriguing and not so heavy, I hope you enjoyed it though, and as you have probably gathered, Charlie is alive! Woo! I don't know when the next Chapter will be up, updates may not be as frequent as 'Lost then Found' but I won't make it painstakingly long! Let me know what you think x