Chapter Two

Jack felt Jamie's whole body go rigid at his words and fought the urge to flinch away, fearing rejection. It wasn't until now that Jack finally realized he had his arm wrapped securely around Jamie's waist, the brunette's hands still linked tightly around his neck. Jamie, realizing the closeness, cleared his throat and awkwardly took a step backward.

"Jack, you really need to explain. I don't understand why you brought me here just to talk..."

"You need to know why I wasn't around the first few years after we defeated Pitch. This pond was part of the reason behind everything I'm going to tell you, so I figured it would be appropriate to tell you here," Jack began to explain, but the look of disapproval on Jamie's face made him lose faith in his idea. He ran a nervous hand through his snow white hair, looking around at the snow covered bank for some sort of inspiration. With a sigh, Jack began.

"I didn't really know what I was signing up for when I first joined the Guardians. It never really occurred to me that I would have to take on a whole new role of responsibility and professionalism when it came to taking care of the children of the world. To be honest, I wasn't ready for it. I understand now why the Man in the Moon chose me to be a guardian, but it's taken me a long time to come to the realization that I don't ruin everything I come into contact with.

"I first realized why he chose me because I'd gotten a hold of my tooth box. Babytooth showed me the memory of how I died, and how I saved my sister from falling through the ice we're standing on more than three hundred years ago. I saved her, Jamie. That's why I am who I am. When I rejoined the Guardians to defeat Pitch, I had forgotten to take my tooth box with me. North decided to call a meeting once we returned to the Pole, but I flew off before anyone could stop me. I had to find my memories. I needed to find out more about my family, about who I was before I was Jack Frost. I dropped off the face of the earth for a year or two while I was... discovering who I was... I felt so guilty for leaving all of you alone after I'd made a promise to be there... I wanted to come back, but I couldn't bring myself to face you after all these years of disappointment, and I thought for a while that you'd stopped believing in me... I came by to create the odd snow day here and there, but I never got enough courage to try and find you. To try and explain myself sooner; make it hurt less... I mostly watched from afar. Made sure that I kept my distance while still trying to be there for you. I protected you from the one thing you needed most...

"You were there all this time, and you never told me?..." Jamie asked, his voice barely loud enough for either of them to hear, but Jack didn't have to hear the words to know the pain that came with them.

"I thought that I was protecting you... You have to believe me when I say that. Every time I thought about coming to you, I stopped myself because I knew that you'd be angry and hurt, or even worse that you'd stop believing in me... I don't know what I'd do if you stopped believing in me Jamie..." The young Guardian looked up at Jamie, hoping to be understood, and found the brunette clutching his wrist tightly. The light of the full moon above them glinted off the tears that were forming in Jamie's eyes as he stared at Jack with disbelieving eyes.

"When you never came back... Jack, I was a mess... I did a lot of things that I'm really not proud of," he whispered, his voice thick with the threat of tears.

"I know..." Jamie's eyes snapped open; his cheeks already too flush to show the embarrassed tone in them. Knowing that Jack had seen him do the things he'd done shocked him, but more so scared him in how Jack thought of him now.

"W-what did you see, exactly?" he asked hesitantly, circling the raised marks on his bare wrist with the pad of his thumb self-consciously as he awaited an answer. Jack's sharp intake of breath alarmed Jamie, making him want to run and hide from the Guardian. He felt so ashamed of his actions and now, standing before his childhood idol, it was all he could do to keep himself rooted to the spot.

"I would stop by every night before you went to sleep, just to check in on you... some nights were okay, but other nights... Jamie, I am so, so sorry... I never, ever could've imagined that leaving you the way I did would've caused you so much pain... I couldn't bear to watch most times, but I never wanted to leave so I kept my back to the side of the house and waited until you fell asleep before checking one last time... just to make sure that you were still, you know, okay..." An overwhelming urge to pull the younger teen into an embrace surged through Jack as he watched Jamie fidget nervously before him. It seemed as though the younger boy was hiding something from him, and it was making Jack nervous as well.

Taking a step toward him, Jack clutched his frosted staff tighter and bit his lip.

"What aren't you telling me, Jamie? I know you're hiding something, I can see it," he pried, watching the small puffs of cloudy air escape from Jamie's slightly open mouth.

"It's really nothing... It's not important..." Jamie muttered, shrugging his tense shoulders.

"You couldn't have been there every night... if you'd been there every night, you would've seen them..."

"Seen what, Jamie? What are you talking about?" Jamie's eyes closed, his face paling slightly in the bright moonlight.

"The nightmares Jack. The ones I had, and still have, almost every night since I realized you weren't coming back for me. We may have defeated Pitch that night, but it certainly didn't stop him from sending his nightmares to visit me. He saw my weakness and took advantage of the fact that I didn't have my Guardian here to protect me when I needed him most. Pitch saw a side of me that not even you have seen, Jack." The mention of the Nightmare King had Jack enraged, but the guilt he felt far outweighed the anger. That was the one thing he promised himself he would never let happen.

"I could've stopped them... If I hadn't been so ignorant and self centered, I could've saved you from all those horrible nightmares..."

"You couldn't have done anything even if you wanted to Jack."

"Of course I could've! Jamie you don't understand-"

"No you don't understand Jack! You couldn't have stopped them because I let them in! I let them show me the nightmares because I knew that it was the only way I'd get to see you! I gave up so many peaceful, dreamless nights for ones filled with nightmares because I knew that they would show me you." Shell-shocked, Jack stared at Jamie with incredulous eyes.

"No... Jamie, you didn't... Please, please tell me it's not true..." he pleaded, taking hold of Jamie's arm. Only a few seconds passed before Jamie pulled his arm out of Jack's grasp, the loss of contact tugging at his heart as he watched his Guardian's face fall.

"How- How long?"

At this, Jamie had to stop and think. How long had it really been since the first time he'd let the nightmares in? How many sickening nightmares had he endured just to see the bright face of the Guardian he admired the most? The pleasurable torment of the nightmares came flooding back to him as he relived the first time he really saw what they could do.

The warm summer air drifted in through Jamie's open window as he lie awake in his bed thinking about how far away winter was.

Maybe this year... He thought, staring longingly out at the starry sky. Maybe this year he'll come...

For the last four years, Jamie had raised his hopes, praying that this year would bring the snowy haired teen back to Burgess. Every year since that magical night, he had been handed nothing but bitter disappointment and longed for another snow day with his favorite Guardian. By now, all of his friends who had been with him on that cold Easter night had forgotten and stopped believing. They were now the ones who teased him for still believing, calling him immature and selfish for putting his entire being into believing that one day the snow spirit would come back. The harder he tried to keep believing, the harder he fell when his friends abandoned him one by one until he had none left.

Part of him was lulled into a false sense of calm. The sting of the cuts on his inner thigh were the only thing that kept him in touch with reality; just enough to be reminded that Jack wasn't coming back for him. They weren't as deep as he usually made them, simply because he didn't feel like bleeding and having to deal with the healing process. The aching marks pulsed with every beat of his heart, like a constant reminder of the pain he'd felt every day for the past four years and was sure he would feel for the rest of his life.

Sleep slowly began to consume his mind, whisking away any dark thoughts until there was nothing left but silent emptiness. The only sound to be heard was that of Jamie's heavy, calm breathing as he began to fall asleep.

The sky outside began to glow with the golden threads of Dream Sand as they made their way into the houses of the sleeping children, creating pleasant dreams all around. One shining tendril floated down into Jamie's room, a scene playing out above his head depicting a snowball fight with his friends. A small smile formed on the boy's sleeping face as the dream played out. The golden sand began to change however, turning dark and recreating the scene into a nightmare. Startled, Jamie awoke to find the nightmare horse floating in the window, watching him with its glowing golden eyes.

With wide eyes, Jamie sat up and watched the nightmare. It took a few hesitant steps into the room, the dark sand flowing around its feet like a storm cloud. A few strains of the sand spiralled out and took the form of a boy with spiky hair and a tall staff, a dark smirk ever present on his face. Jamie gasped, leaning away from the nightmare version of Jack. His voice came in a whisper, the disbelief on his face plain as day.

"Jack." The Nightmare Jack nodded, lifting the hood from his head and watching Jamie intently. Something seemed wrong, but Jamie couldn't figure out what. He looked at the horse, its luminescent eyes ominous in the darkness of his bedroom.

"It's not really Jack... it's just Pitch trying to play games... why would he show me Jack?" Jamie asked, realizing how crazy he sounded as he spoke to a nightmare.

"I'm the best you're going to get. Jack's not coming back for you, but I'll be here; in your nightmares." Jamie gawked at the dark snow spirit.

"Come on Jamie," the nightmare smirked, a ball of iridescent sand forming in his hand, "let's have a little fun." No response came from the terrified teen as Jack tossed the sand ball directly at his face. Jamie fell limply back against his pillows, fast asleep as a nightmare formed. Both nightmares disappeared out the window and into the night sky, leaving behind nothing but a lingering bad dream.

"Jamie?" Jack prodded the brunette's arm, slightly unnerved at how quiet the boy had gone. With a small shake of his head Jamie came back to the present, the memory in his mind growing distant as the seconds passed by. He was saddened to see how concerned Jack looked, knowing he'd caused it, and fought the strange feeling he had to reach out and brush the snowy white strands of hair from his forehead.

"Sorry, I was just... remembering something..." Jamie mumbled, his eyes trained on the ice beneath them. The touch of cool fingertips against his skin brought Jamie's eyes up as Jack tilted his chin.

"Are you scared?"

"What? Why would I be scared?" Jack took a deep breath, stuffing his hands in his sweater pouch, his staff cradled in the crook of his elbow.

"I imagine that you don't exactly trust me, and I get the feeling that you think I'm just going to disappear like last time." Jamie's heart clenched. He hadn't really thought about what would happen after tonight. He knew he didn't trust Jack, but he wanted to so badly it almost felt wrong not to trust him.

"You're right," Jamie sighed, looking up at the moon as he continued; "I don't trust you. I want to, but I don't." Jack bit his lip and looked down, shoving his hands in his pockets rather harshly.

"Will you take me home please?" Shifting his weight nervously from foot to foot, he watched Jack lift his gaze up and pierce him with his ice blue eyes. Lips pursed, he held out a hand to Jamie, his eyes looking anywhere else but at the taller teen as he closed the distance between them. Ignoring the feeling of the muscles coiling and uncoiling in his stomach as Jamie wrapped his arms around his neck, Jack gripped his staff tightly and silently summoned a gust of wind to lift them off the ground. For the first time in three hundred years, Jack felt cold.