Whatever Works

Disclaimer: I do not own Les Misérables.

Note: Based on the 1998 movie.

Valjean's heart had been broken when he had said goodbye to Cosette. Fortunately, as strange as it was to think of what had happened as a good thing, he had already told her of his past and so she knew why he had to leave. He didn't think he had it in him to tell her while saying goodbye and after the night he had had. Fortunately, too, Marius was there and in need of medical attention so his dear child would not be alone and would have no time to be overcome with grief.

And then, when Javert had sent his men away, Valjean had been certain that the police inspector was going to shoot him and he didn't know how he felt about that given that his only other option seemed a return to the galleys he had fled so long ago. As a 'dangerous convict' and even, somehow, an 'insurgent', Javert would have had the law on his side. He hadn't, though. Instead, Javert had handcuffed himself and thrown himself into the river.

Suddenly, Valjean found himself quite at liberty to go home, have breakfast with his daughter, and live out the rest of his life peacefully. Had Javert intended to do that all along? Was that why he had sent his men away? He had given them a letter explaining what he had planned to do with Valjean, or so he said when he handed over the paper. What on Earth had that note said? 'I'm just going to let him go'?

His first impulse, naturally, was to dive in after him but he stopped himself. Javert was letting him go, as far as he could tell, because he had decided that Valjean was a good person and so he would expect such a rescue attempt. He would fight it and could stop Valjean from succeeding. He could even drag Valjean down with him, intentionally or otherwise.

So, really, there was only one choice, wasn't there?

Valjean simply began to walk away, smiling pleasantly and praying that this gambit would work.

Just when he was getting truly nervous and about to give up and turn back, he heard a splash and turned around to see a highly annoyed and dripping wet Javert climbing out of the river. He had removed his handcuffs but that was no surprise. Javert had always made it a point to be prepared for any situation he might encounter in the course of his duties (well, any besides meeting a good man who had once been to prison) and it would be quite careless indeed if he could be incapacitated by a criminal simply handcuffing him.

"Valjean!" Javert thundered.

"Yes?" Valjean asked innocently.

"You were just going to let me drown!" Javert accused, stalking towards him.

"I was trying to respect your wishes," Valjean claimed, knowing that if he just admitted what he had done, Javert might very well throw himself back into the water.

Javert barked out a harsh laugh. "Oh, now you want to respect my wishes. Never mind you've spent the last nine years completely ignoring my wish to arrest you."

Valjean shrugged. "It cost me a great deal less to let you die than to surrender myself, especially with Cosette to consider. But I did surrender myself to you today."

"After you failed to kill me when I asked you to," Javert grumbled, apparently seeing no contradiction between his statement and what he was upset with Valjean about. "Besides, you had no choice but to agree to that. You wanted to save that boy."

"I don't know," Valjean disagreed. "I think I could have knocked your men out and fled."

"And abandon your daughter?" Javert asked disbelievingly.

"I more-or-less abandoned her, no matter how unwillingly, by surrendering myself to you," Valjean countered. "And Inspector, you seem to be forgetting that you're the one who threw yourself in the river."

Javert scowled. "I'm not so feeble-minded as that, Valjean!"

"I didn't push you," Valjean continued calmly. "I did not tie you up and hold your head under the water."

"You might as well have!" Javert countered.

"Am I hearing this correctly?" Valjean asked, raising his eyebrows. "You think that failing to stop a crime is about the same as actually committing it?"

Javert blinked. "I-"

"Because if that's the case then you're going to have to go out and arrest every single witness to a crime ever," Valjean interrupted. "And possibly some of the victims."

"That is not precisely what I was saying," Javert ground out.

Valjean cocked his head. "Though, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure about the legality of suicide. It is against God's law, naturally, but whether it is against the laws of France is another matter entirely. There does not seem much of a point in creating a crime that will never result in an arrest but I have long since criticized our justice system."

"That was not what I meant," Javert reiterated, glaring at him. "I was killing myself because I could see no other way to reconcile my duty to arrest you with your being a good person and you were just going to let me die?"

Valjean could see where he was coming from but the anger was a little irrational, nonetheless.

"What, what that some sort of test to see if I was truly good and you should let me go by faking a suicide attempt?" Valjean demanded.

Javert looked taken aback. "No, of course not."

"Because I have to wonder what the point of attempting suicide is when you expect me to just stop you," Valjean continued. "In fact, I rather have to wonder if you even wanted to kill yourself at all."

"Of course I did!" Javert exclaimed indignantly. "If I didn't then why would I have handcuffed myself and plunged into the icy depths of the Seine?"

"An excellent question," Valjean complimented. "Let me answer it with another. If you were planning on committing suicide and you also knew I was there and believed that I would pull you out, how did you expect to actually manage to commit suicide?"

"I…had not actually thought that part out," Javert grudgingly admitted. "I had just made up my mind to end my life and I believed that, since it was all your fault, you should know why. It was only after I landed in the water that I realized that you should be pulling me out and yet you weren't."

"You seem very upset by this," Valjean noted.

Javert crossed his arms behind him. "Of course I'm upset by this! I was killing myself because you were a good man and then you went and failed to do the pretty standard good man act of preventing someone from committing suicide right in front of you. I would have killed myself and now I'm having doubts as to whether you're a good man again!"

"I knew those would return to you sooner or later," Valjean remarked, unconcerned. "What would have happened had I pulled you out? Are you thinking that far ahead? Your dilemma would continue to be unresolved and you wouldn't have thanked me."

"Doing good is not about being thanked, Valjean," Javert said curtly. "You might not be aware of this, but a policeman's lot is a rather thankless one."

"And then you would have just gone somewhere else and killed yourself," Valjean pointed out.

"So very thankless," Javert continued as if he hadn't heard Valjean.

"I'm not actually a policeman, Javert," Valjean said, wondering if he had ever understated anything more in his life.

Javert didn't even dignify that with a response.

"And I hardly think it's fair to blame your attempted suicide on me," Valjean informed him.

"I can't believe that, after everything we've been through Valjean, I have to be the one to tell you that life isn't fair," Javert replied. "If it was then I would have spent all this time pursuing a nice sociopathic killer."

"I'm sorry I'm not vile enough for your tastes," Valjean said sardonically.

"I would accept your apology except I don't actually believe that you mean it," Javert sniffed.

"Just explain to me where you're even coming from, blaming me for the fact that you're trying to die," Valjean requested.

"It's very simple," Javert said. "Convicts are evil. They do not care about other people. They do not single-handedly save an entire town and turn over production to the workers when they have to abandon their factory. They do not becomes mayors and give millions to the poor. They do not rescue prostitutes and nurse them personally. They do not adopt little orphan girls. They do not knowingly expose themselves and their bright, new life to save an innocent halfwit. They do not try to save little boys because they fell in love with their daughter. They certainly do not save the life of the man who has sworn to never let him rest. And yet you have done all of these things. And yet you are a convict. Do you understand now?"

Valjean shook his head. "Not really, I'm afraid."

Javert's eye twitched. "How can you not understand? I was very clear!"

"I'm not saying you weren't," Valjean said, soothingly. "It just sort of seems to me that you might be exaggerating slightly."

"Exaggerating?" Javert repeated. "I am not exaggerating. I can no longer go on living if you are not a bad person."

Valjean waited for a moment. "Are you sure you're not exaggerating? Why do I have to be a bad person for you to live?"

"I just explained that to you a moment ago and if you didn't care to listen then I don't care to repeat it," Javert said icily.

"Shouldn't you be happy?" Valjean asked. "I was a bad person and now I've reformed. Not taking into account that it was only being in prison in the first place that made me a bad person, this sort of rehabilitation should be a positive sign."

"Except that since you are a fugitive and not a normal parolee, I cannot possibly attribute your rehabilitation to being in prison because if I could then you would not have broken parole in the first place," Javert insisted.

Valjean rolled his eyes. "Anyone with an ounce of sense would have broken parole. Everyone but the most saintly of men treating you as if you were lower than a dog, no one letting you stay anywhere or buy anything, children throwing rocks at you…You wouldn't be able to stay a good man for long."

"You would if you really meant it," Javert insisted, hardly noticing that he had crossed his arms in front of him.

Valjean shrugged. "Well I couldn't tell you since I left before I had a chance to find out."

"And thus proved that you weren't a good person!" Javert said triumphantly.

"But I went out to go single-handedly save a small town," Valjean countered. "I hear that it's still doing very well."

"They built four statues of you," Javert said grudgingly.

Valjean raised an eyebrow. "Did they?"

"Two of them even have your real name," Javert said, shaking his head in bewilderment.

"They were good people," Valjean said fondly. "Even my forewoman who fired Fantine was only trying to do what was right."

Javert suddenly felt like attacking something. "This is all beside the point!"

Valjean nodded. "Yes, I rather suppose that it is. Tell me, Inspector, when was the last time you slept?"

That was the last thing that Javert had been expecting. "I…am unsure."

"I know that it has been far too long since I've slept, personally, and I'm sure that it's been even longer for you because you were always intending to get involved with the riots and I only went at the last minute because Cosette's love was there," Valjean told him. "I really don't think you're in any state to be making such important life decisions as, well, deciding whether or not you'll have any future life decisions."

Javert scowled at him. "Do not belittle my problem! My lack of sleep has nothing to do with this!"

"I just don't think you can possibly know that until you had a chance to take a nap and maybe give it some time so you know that this really is an insurmountable problem and you can't work something out," Valjean said persuasively.

Javert's frown lessened. "I don't know why you're doing this. If I don't kill myself I'll just inevitably end up arresting you."

"You've never understood me so this is nothing new and I choose to be more optimistic than that," Valjean replied. "Come back with me and clear you head."

Slowly, Javert nodded and the two men began walking.

"Besides," Valjean said, almost as an afterthought, "if you don't kill yourself then I'll have saved your life twice and I have no idea how you'll be able to bring yourself to arrest me after that."

Javert twitched and very nearly pushed Valjean into the Seine.

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