"Don't feel bad Sokka. She's extremely tricky. I should know. Fooled me so many times.""
"She thinks only of herself. She's a monster."
"You cared. That wasn't wrong."
They kept coming up to him throughout the day, trying to comfort him.
"You were trying to help her."
"No heart, no soul."
"She just lies. I think she lies to herself."
Brief little conversations here, a brief remark throughout the day that only made him feel worse.

"She's a monster Sokka." Katara whispered in his ear the next morning, as they gathered there things in order to head off for Tushin, a two day ride. "She cares only for no one but herself." She was careful not to let Zuko hear her comments; he disliked hearing Azula called names now. "And anyway, Zuko shouldn't have let her come," she added as they joined the others on Appa's back..

"Look, she's my sister and I've stopped hating her" Zuko cornered him when they stopped for lunch. "But … she lies, she always has. Lies to herself as well I think as well." Zuko had told him, filling a bowl of broth for himself and one for his sister. "I don't think she knows how not to lie." His eyes kept darting over to his sister; almost as if he feared something would happen as they watched.

Aang corned him that evening when they broke camp for the night.. "You cared and that's what important Sokka , whether or not she cares back." Aang rested a hand on his shoulder ""Not your fault Sokka."
"Not your fault."
"Not your fault."

But it was, of course it was his fault, and it didn't matter what any of them said, it didn't matter that she came back. He had failed at his job. "I'm as good as a bender," he tried telling himself, but obviously not.

She was paying the price as well, but oddly it didn't make him feel better to see Zuko bind her hand and foot at night. The first night she had protested, but Zuko had been firm; "You broke your end of the bargain, I'm breaking mine." But she didn't even try to protest the second evening, just offered her hand, her face impassive, pretending not to see them watching her trussed up. Reluctantly she drank the tea Zuko gave her, practically tossing the cup at him when she was done. "Azula…" Zuko began, reaching out to caress her arm. She jerked away from him and turned on her back, flinching every time Zuko tried to rub her back. Finally he gave up, sat beside her, his arms folded in his lap.

"She was crying in her sleep last night." Aang whispered to them as they waited for Zuko to join them.
"Only because she lost." Katara said dismissively. "She didn't like being tied up."
"I don't know that Katara." Aang said. "She was crying on and off all night. I think she has bad dreams."
"She should have bad dreams after all the trouble she's caused."
"Katara if you could just t ry…"
"You are too forgiving Aang. Some people are just too sick to help."
"Everyone deserves a second chance, and for Zuko's sake…."
"She's a monster Aang. You saw what she did to those men!" She swung her arm out at Appa as if the men were still propped against his side. "You heard what she was going to do!"
"I think she scared them more than anything else, remember I was…"
"She marked them! You told me she marked them!" She shook her finger in his face.
"Katara, please…" Aang tried to put his hand on her shoulder but she shook him off.
"And we don't know what she would have done if you had let her!"
"Zuko and I…"
"Exactly!

Sokka moved off, trying to put enough distance between them so he could not hear the argument. Finally he settled against the trunk of a tree that bordered the the clearing where they had camped, placing the warring couple to his right side, and Zuko to his left. Aang and his sister had been arguing about Azula back and forth the whole trip, any little thing could set Katara off, and her escape had only put the two of them further on edge. Zuko glanced up at the two of them then at his sister then down at the ground, the guilt plain to see.

They were all on edge, all at each other throats, and she was the center of everyone's feelings. Aang mopey because his attempts at being friendly to Azula were constantly shot down and angry at Katara for not trying harder. Katara was just plain angry at everyone, Zuko for having brought along "the monster", Aang for his constant attempts at niceness, and at him because he wouldn't agree with her all the time, and Zuko -one moment fussing over his sister as if she had a terminal illness the next yelling at her for something she said or did. When he wasn't yelling at his sister he was complaining to them about her torture of him when they were children but if anyone should say anything against her they'd get blasted.

Azula didn't have to say anything or do anything; just wake up and give everyone the cold shoulder, and a fight would start.

Sokka sighed, watching as Zuko, hands folded loosely in his lap, watched his sister. After a few moments Zuko reached out, touched her tentatively, then started rubbing her back; soft gentle strokes and a shushing sound. Either the sedative had taken effect, or as Zuko had put it, "let him in", because she wasn't pushing him away. Asleep, he concluded when Zuko dropped his hands back into his lap, his shoulders slumping, just staring at his sisters back.

Everything's so messed up, Sokka thought to himself, rubbing the back of his neck, trying to squeeze out the ache that had settled there. Zuko, you need to send her back, he agreed with his sister on that one/. How likely were they to find his mother anyway if June couldn't? No one was benefiting. "Not even your sister," he whispered. No more perfect girl, that was certain; he didn't know which was sadder; Azula pretending she wasn't talking to people who weren't there or her brother watching her pretending.

"NO!" He heard Katara shout. "Why? Why should I? How can you expect me to?" . Sokka glanced over, trying to pretend to himself he wasn't seeing their fight. Aang's voice was low, but whatever he said only made Katara angrier; she got that look he hated on her face, shaking her head back and forth.

Zuko started stroking Azula's back again, giving Katara a sharp look..

x"NO!" she shouted again, her hands in front of her, as if pushing back Aang's words. "No, not in any way, shape or form." Aang touched her lightly on the shoulder but she jerked away, hissing out some reply. What was he asking of her?

Send her back Zuko; don't you see what is happening to us? Zuko leaned down and brushed his lips against Azula's forehead, whispering to the back of her head.

"I don't care!" Katara shouted and turned about in time to see her run past him to the area where they were bedding down for the night.
"Katara!" Aang called, racing after her. Katara ignored him, pulling open her sack and grabbing her bedroll, moving it as far away from everyone as possible.

Aang followed her, gesturing with his hands, Katara just shook her head, laid out her bed and climbed in, her back to him. Zuko's shoulders slumped lower, his eyes going from Katara and Aang back to his sister again. Finally Aang gave up trying to talk to Katara and sat down cross legged on his roll, staring discontentedly at a spot between his sister and Zuko.

"Messed up." Sokka told himself. For a few minutes everything was still, then Zuko stood and walked over to Aang begging for something. Aang shook his head no, but then after a few more minutes of pleading from Zuko gave a sharp nod of agreement. Zuko turned again to his sister then left, walking aimlessly for awhile, in and about of the small copse of woods, every once and awhile turning back to look at Azula. Finally his wandering took him to the tree against which Sokka rested, twisting so he could see both his sister and Sokka.

"Hi." He said awkwardly. Sokka followed his arms over his chest and just stood there. "Okay, you think this is a bad idea as well." Zuko said, his eyes leaving his sister for a minute.
"Said that a few times."
"Doesn't anyone appreciate the fact that she came back?" Zuko demanded.
He kept harping on that, as if it were this great thing. How much choice did she have? She'd be a fugitive from all the nations, wasn't like she could find much refuge anywhere. "She came back," Zuko said again, "she didn't… What if it were your sister? "

My sister isn't a psychopath, he wanted to retort, but kept such thoughts to himself.

"I know you hate her. I hated her for years, but if it were your sister…LOOK!" he reached into his shirt and pulled out a paper. "See!" Zuko unfolded the paper and thrust it out to him; it was two children's hands, one within the other. "See," he said shaking the paper. "Don't you see?" Sokka sighed and took the paper from Zuko's hand.

"The maids, when they were cleaning her room" Zuko hugged himself and looked back at his sister "they found this box, when they were cleaning her room, before I let her come home…under her cabinet." Sokka took the picture; each hand was marked with a name and age, scrawled in a childish hand. Zuko six, Azula four. "She kept it. Along with her dolls. She didn't burn them."

"You've lost me Zuko."
"Don't you see? Don't you understand?"

Sokka sighed and made a guess, "Your hand and Azula's hand when you were kids, one of you wrote your names. No clue about the dolls."
"I made the hands, well I think I did, but the writing is mine. And she kept it!" Sokka nodded; kind of sad really. "In this box! Under her cabinet! With her dolls!"

The dolls again; part of him wanted to ask, the rest of him, he wasn't so sure. She didn't burn some dolls but Zuko thought she had, that much was clear.

Zuko swung his arms around, his eyes wide. "They were tucked into the box, like she had put them to sleep, beneath scraps of cloth," he shook his head. "My mother was so angry with her for destroying her dolls and she didn't, she pretended to but…" he shoved his hair back from his eyes…"I don't know what she burned, the dolls clothes maybe, but why? Ozai…" he shook his head.

Sokka studied the picture, letting Zuko babble. Hard to believe Azula had been that little; harder to believe that she had once just played with Zuko.

"Ozai, I guess, said something. But…Don't ask her," he waved his arm in her direction, "she won't say. At least she admits he didn't love her. She admits that now…But it's her that's wrong, not him 'The Fire Lord is always right.' She won't say anything against him. " Zuko stared down at the ground, "There is so much she refuses to say, so much she hides, like she hid the box. So many questions I have. Like why these things and why did she make the fire and all these bizarre odds and ends that she kept?" Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "Why?"

Sokka looked up at him. "I'm still confused pal. I get that you found a box of Azula's stuff that you thought she had destroyed?"

Zuko sighed, nodded and took a deep breath. "Before she came home I had the maids go through her room, thoroughly, top to bottom. 'Look everywhere' I told them. Take out her drawers, look under things," he explained. "I didn't want anything she could use as a weapon or something. I had it cleaned right after I became Fire Lord, the glass and everything, dusted, had her stuff…" he swallowed, and ducked his head, then turned back to look at his sister, lowering his voice "I had her stuff put away, her clothes, her books, everything, I even thought that I just might destroy it all." His voice caught, and he ducked his head. "I never really expected her to come home,", he admitted brushing his eyes with the hem of his sleeve, before lifting his head. "I "When she was coming back I told the maids to go over her room. I had no idea what she might have hidden, she was so paranoid. So I had the maids clean it well. They found this box under her cabinet, resting on the wood struts beneath the bottom drawer, and they opened it and then brought it to me, with all this stuff in it. There was this picture, a picture of a dragon from her favorite book, the dolls she use to sleep with, and all these odds and ends, these little things that people throw out. What if they didn't find it?" His voice rose. "What if the maids had just thrown it out? Or I never agreed to take her along, never allowed her to come home. What if I had never known, I had just written her off to grow old and die alone in some cell." He stared off into the woods. "She's just fifteen; should I let her die?" Zuko asked him softly.

"Die?" Sokka looked up, startled.

Zuko didn't answer, but instead took the paper from him, "I don't remember what we were doing, I wonder if she does? "Zuko whispered, almost to himself. "She kept it, so maybe?" He looked up at him. "Do you think she remembers?" He asked.
Sokka shrugged. "I guess maybe…" he was at a loss what to say. "Die?" he prompted; but Zuko just kept staring at the picture.

"All these years, she held onto these things." He looked back at his sister. "I want to give her a chance. She kept these things. All these years, I thought she hated me. She didn't. She kept these things, hid them. She couldn't have hated me, not like I thought. My sister. Don't you understand? Doesn't anyone…"

"You are my friend Zuko, I care but..." She was Azula. She'd not give a thought to their lives, would she have cared if Zuko had been killed? Let her stay locked up forever. Okay it was sad, but…

"She would follow me about when she was young, three, four, make me kiss her and her dolls goodnight and tell her a story after mother had gotten her into bed. Mother would put her to bed and then she'd sit up and go Zuzu's turn and I'd have to come in and kiss her and her dolls and read to her even though I couldn't read. Dragon stories, she loved them." Tucking her in like he tried to tuck her in now. "She loved me. She's still there, she has to be." He swung his arm off to the side where his sister lay sleeping. "I want that sister back Sokka. Is that so wrong?"

"It's never wrong to care…" he assured him, echoing Aang's words; but still, this was Azula.

"Should I just let her die?" he asked him again. Zuko dropped his head, staring at the ground. "She wants to die Sokka. She wants to kill herself. She went off to kill herself. She's only fifteen…"

Oh…." Sokka didn't know what else to say. "Oh."

"She told me how she was going to do it as well, so I'd know that she was… that she just hadn't run away somewhere. It wouldn't affect her face, just her heart and lungs. It's a technique that top spies learn. Even Uncle doesn't know how, just knows of it." Zuko wrapped his arms around himself. "And she finally told me where. Makes sense; the only place maybe she was even a bit happy. And I couldn't' let her do that. She's only fifteen! Do you understand?" he begged. " I don't want her dead. I don't to put her away somewhere for life. I want my sister back. I want my mother back, for both of our sakes. Is that so much to want?" He was shouting now, pleading. "is it Sokka? Too much to ask? To have a family again?" He turned back and glanced at his sister. She must have started crying in her sleep because Aang was kneeling by her side, rubbing her back as Zuko had done, but must not have been successful because Katara sat up and stared at them, then finally followed suit. "I want the sister back her loved me and trusted me. I want to be the big brother again." Katara rose and Aang rose, turned and looked at the two of them. Zuko gave a sigh, and a quick nod showing he understood. "Is it really so wrong to want my sister back?" He asked, and squaring his shoulders began moving toward the sleeping area.

"Zuko!" Sokka took his arm, stopping him. Zuko turned about. "Okay, I'm in your corner. I'll help you…" how he wasn't certain at all. "But she's got to toe the line."

Zuko nodded. "I know. I can't let her get out of line. But she came back." In other words, Sokka realized, she didn't kill herself.

Don't forget that…She did come back." He jerked his hand towards Azula. "I have to go."

Sokka nodded. "She came back. Good sign," he could think of nothing else but it seemed to ease Zuko's distress. "A real good sign…" he said as he let Zuko go, watched as he returned to his sister, rubbing her back, bending over to kiss her, he could almost hear Zuko's voice shushing her, and in the back of his mind he kept seeing the picture of the two hands, one inside the other, brother and sister. "I'll help you get both back," he said softly, realizing the search for Zuko's mom was the easy part.

He watched for a long time; Zuko easing Azula back into sleep, his sister and Aang going back to their beds, each grabbing their bedroll, then laughing, hugging each other, making up, Zuko stretching out beside his sister, one arm over her back, Aang and Katara sitting, talking. At one point his sister looked up at him, started to rise, but he shook his head, mouthed. "No…" and she sat down again. Soon she and Aang lay down, soon they too were asleep. He watched them long into the night, going over and over his promise to Zuko. He wanted to help Zuko, but how?

To search for a person without a map or no indication as to where they went, was difficult enough. But how do you search for a soul? He shook his head, returned to camp, standing over Zuko and Azula, looking down on them. She had turned in her sleep towards her brother, her face curled against his chest. It reminded him of a picture book he had once had of two children, brother and sister, lost in the snow far from home. That story had ended tragically; both children dying for lack of fire. Well these two had fire enough. But what was it he could provide.

He went to his bedroll and stretched out, his hands behind his head and fell into an uneasy sleep, wondering what he could do.

Azula's weeping woke him early the next morning, before the sun had fully risen. A soft mewling noise, followed by Zuko's shushing sounds. Sokka opened his eyes, watching as Zuko unbound her arms and legs, rubbing at her wrists and ankles. "I'm here 'Zula. I'm here."

Azula sat up her eyes wild and wide, breath ragged and harsh. She twisted from side to side, her mouth opening and shutting wordlessly.

"Azula…" Zuko placed his hands on her shoulder, then her face, turning her so she was looking directly at him. "I'm here," He told her firmly. "I'm here." Slowly her eyes focused on his, her breath slowed, the fearful expression replaced by the familiar cold hard look. She pulled away from him and stood up.
"Wake her," she said, jerking her chin at Katara. "I have needs."
"You can't wait?"
Azula just made a face tapping her foot impatiently. Zuko sighed and woke Katara.
"She can't wait? Of course she can't. Miss High and Mighty can only think of herself." Katara stood up quickly, waking Aang in the process. She stomped over and grabbed Azula by the arm. Aang sat up, rubbed his eyes.
"Good morning Azula…" he chirped. Azula ignored him. "Morning sweetie, good morning Zuko." He called a bit more quietly to the other two.
"Morning..." Katara replied gruffly as she tugged on Azula's arm leading her out.
"Yeah, morning…" Zuko began to fold up Azula's blanket and stuff it in her bag, then do his own.
"Morning…" Sokka said, as he got up. He didn't even bother to listen to see if he received replies, just went into the "boy's side" of the woods to take care of his own needs. His mind kept going over the scenes from the morning and the night before. He'd made a promise to Zuko and no idea how to keep it. How was he to help?

He got back to camp, Azula and Katara still hadn't returned, but Aang was filling a bowl of cereal for himself and Katara, Zuko filled his bowl and took a second for Azula. He'd fill her bowl from his own while she watched so she wouldn't fear poisoning or whatever it was she was afraid of. How could he help Zuko?

Katara and Azula finally emerged, Zuko stood up, Katara dumping Azula by Zuko's side, Aang calling out "hi!" in that hyper-cheery voice of his which generated the usual no-response from Azula. "Give it a rest Aang," Sokka muttered under his breath "you sound like a nurse…" and just like that the answer fell into place. He stood, going over to the pot, and spooned in a drop more food, yawned and then looked up at his sister and Azula. "Morning girls…" he said through his yawn. "Hey, what takes you so long anyway? I was up after you and back before you."
Katara stared at him, Azula stared at him; they were all staring at him.
Katara shook her head in disbelief, folded her arms across her chest. "Brothers!" She huffed.
"Bothers," Azula replied.
"Agreeeee…" Katara blinked turned to Azula as both Sokka and Zuko uttered shouts of protest.
"Well we can't disagree on everything." Azula pointed up at the sky. "The sun is up. We agree on that. Brothers are pains."
"Zuko is nothing like Sokka."
"HEY!" Sokka frowned.
"Hah!" Azula snorted. "Believe what you want."
"Azula…no stories!" Zuko protested nervously.
Azula folded her arms across her chest lifting her nose into the air and giving a sharp nod.
"Don't you dare Azula!"
"Dragon juice…" Azula said dramatically.
"Argh!" Zuko groaned. "I got into so much trouble!"
"You shouldn't have confessed!"
"I felt so guilty."
"You were just eight Zuko…"
"Story?" Sokka prompted.
"I was eight, Azula was six. Father was gone and Azula kept trailing after me wanting me to play so I…"
"Mooom! Tell Azula to stop following me! Only mom made you play with me instead."
"Yeah." Zuko smiled. "So I came up with this plan. Azula loved dragons, so I told her there was a special drink that could change her into a dragon."
"WORST thing I ever tasted…" Azula said, but she was smiling Sokka noted, grinning up at her brother.
"She threw up all over." Zuko spread his arms wide. "It was dark red, mother was so frightened, Azula told mom that she had made a potion up but she couldn't remember what was in it…"
"Brothers!" Katara laughed. "Bothers…" "Then Zuko confessed…" Azula went on.
"You shouldn't have gotten into trouble for something I did…" Zuko poured half his bowl of food into the extra bowl and passed it to his sister.
Azula looked over to his sister. "But I got him back! Frog-snail…" Azula said, kissing her free hand.
"Oh no! You can't tell them that one…" But Zuko was laughing. "I can't believe I fell for it..."
Sokka smiled, and put his hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Oh I can see where this is headed."
Azula giggled."I think he must have kissed every frog-snail in the garden trying to turn one back into Mai."
"Kid sisters…" Sokka said folding his arms across his chest in imitating his sister.
"Bothers." Zuko added.
Aang handed Katara one of the bowls of cereal. "Is this what I missed out on not having siblings?"
His sister laughed, accepting the bowl. "You wouldn't believe some of the stunts Sokka pulled on me."
"Hey, you got your tricks in too!"
"This one time," Katara began, "I must have been seven and Sokka was nine" She glanced sideways at him "and I had this fear of snakes…"
Sokka grinned… "Okay, okay I was a rotten older brother sometimes." he said.
"Anyway…" Katara went on.
You are right buddy, she is just fifteen. Sokka thought as he watched, only half listening, as Katara related his past misdeeds. They were laughing, all of them, Aang his mouth agape in disbelief, Zuko grinning and bumping up against Azula, Azula laughing and shaking her head, Katara grabbing onto Azula's arm and insisting "But this is the best part!" He could not have claimed he planned this, but it worked, for some strange everything in the right alignment reason, it worked. She is just fifteen, and your younger sister, and isn't that the sister you want most?