Circus March

Gokudera Hayato is a complete idiot. He's loyal, so blindingly loyal that he never thinks of himself, of who he could be, of who he couldn't be. And I think that's one of his best traits.

If you think about it, he was weak. He was alone, he had no one to depend on and he was avoiding his family at all costs. Weak.

But then came the sky, bright and warm, kind and accepting, and it just swallowed him whole. And then he wasn't alone anymore. He had a person to depend on, a person to smile with, a person to laugh with.

And that's probably why he was so loyal. After being rejected so many, so many damn times, finally finding someone who wouldn't leave him alone, who wouldn't lie to him, who would be kind and caring... he was happy, dammit. He was happy and he loved it.

During the fight with Mukuro, Gokudera...didn't really do much. Sure, he saved Hibari, which in turn, saved his own ass. So that pretty much canceled itself out. Whoop de doo.

And then, he saved Juudaime from some snakes. Wow. Snakes. Gokudera was fairy certain that the best, the amazing Juudaime would've been alright, but hey. He was the (self-proclaimed.) right-hand man. He had a duty. There was something he did right.

But then somethin' happened that totally butchered all of the awesomeness he had just done. He got possessed. By that pineapple-in' bastard.

Well. Fuck that, right?

But then he was useless, for the entire battle, in fact, making it harder, for his beloved boss, instead of helping.

Well. Double fuck.

When he awoke, in Shamal's office, of all places, he cursed himself. I'm just a burden.

When he saw Tsuna next, who was all happy (yet sore from the HDWM that Gokudera had, regrettably, missed), smiling, who was perfectly glad to see Gokudera, the piano player was confused. Didn't he make things harder for the poor boss?

But in Tsuna's heart, Gokudera couldn't have made things harder for the mafia-boss-in-the-making. Gokudera was his first true friend. He was loyal, a great friend, the kind of person that Tsuna had never truly had by his side. And can you bring yourself to be unkind to the person who saved you from the hell of loneliness? Of course not.

And Gokudera didn't know what to think.

Never before, had he had someone be so...genuinely kind to him.

Never before, had he been forgiven so easily.

Never before, had he been...called a friend.

And even though Tsuna didn't see it, a small smile spread across Gokudera's face. Mama in Heaven...I have a friend. And his heart is made out of pure gold, did you know that?

Kindness isn't a personality trait, like everyone thinks it's to be. It's a gift, a token of friendship, something that a person would show to their friend. And Tsuna radiated kindness. Screw the sky, he was the fuckin' sun.

And Gokudera was so confused. So confused.

Why would someone be kind to him, an unwanted child, born from a secret affair?

Why would someone be kind to him, a person who had been rejected so, so many times before?

Why would someone be kind to him?

Why?

But I don't think that sweet Gokudera would ever get his answer. The sky, after all, is just as unpredictable as a cloud.

Then, just when things were starting to get back to normal, along come the Varia, and they fucked everything up.

Everything.

On a day of perfection, when he was actually (kind of. not really.) getting along with the Baseball-Idiot (brat is so stupid, he deserves capital letters) and the cow brat, they screwed up everything.

The Vongola Rings.

The Vongola Fucking Rings.

If Gokudera could, he'd melt down the Vongola Fucking Rings and hand them back to Vongola Primo. Those stupid rings...they screwed everything up.

Anyways, back on topic.

Superbi Squalo. A Varia member, second in command and strategy captain.

Gokudera Hayato. Average Mafioso with above average intelligence.

...who do you think would win?

...

...

...

...if you guessed Superbi Squalo, then you'd be right.

Gokudera had his ass handed to him. On a golden plate. With grapes and wine. Yes. It was simply that bad. (Well, not as bad as being ranked lower than the Baseball-Idiot on the Strength Ranking. That was simply embarassing.)

And then he fell unconscious, leaving his beloved Juudaime alone.

Well. That...turned out badly.

But! (Levi moment.)

Then, the amazing, perfect, simply awesome Juudaime...he let him become the Storm Guardian. He let Gokudera, who had failed, become a Guardian.

At first, Gokudera was elated. OHMYGOSHES, VONGOLAGUARDIAN YAY- before it sunk in.

Oh yeah. He failed his boss. He was defeated, losing, and was useless, a burden. And he thought he could be a Guardian?!

But! (Levi Moment 2.)

He could make up for it, he could win the tournament, for his Boss!

He could just see it...

"Juudaime. Here are the Vongola Rings." Gokudera handed his boss the box, flipping his hair like a pro.

Tsuna gasped, taking the box, running his fingers over the wood. "Gokudera-kun...you're so amazing, please be my right-hand man!"

"Please." Gokudera smirked, dazzling everyone. "It's Hayato."

(In the background, Yamamoto could be seen, sobbing. "I should've been right-hand man! Me!")

Ahem. Anyways, Gokudera had to make up for himself. He just had to.