Chapter 24 – Sirona

The hotel suite's door hissed shut behind Shepard and in the dim half-light of his rented rooms humanity's sole Spectre let the mask that had become his face fall away. The mask he had worn whilst reporting to the Council and then to the admiralty, the same mask he had worn today sitting in a church facing a grieving family mourning the loss of their daughter. The mask of Jean Shepard, a tarnished hero but still a hero – not someone who murdered his friends.

Shepard shrugged off his overcoat, leaving it over the back of the low couch as he headed towards the suite's sliding doors and the balcony beyond, the colony's street-lights were several stories below – leaving only the ink-black night sky to draw the Spectre outside. It was cold outside, Shepard knew, especially without a coat, but...

The Spectre paused, his hand unconsciously reaching for a side-arm that wasn't there, as he realised he wasn't alone.

Even in the poor light Shepard could tell the hair spread across the bed's pillows was raven-wing black, that even behind closed lids her blue eyes sparkled with intelligence, and he knew she slept too lightly to not have woken when he had arrived. A sense of panic gripped Shepard, propelling him into the bedroom in a run as the orange glow of his omni-tool formed around his left forearm.

"Shepard," Miranda's voice was alert as she sat up on the bed, her legs reaching the floor and a pistol appearing in her hand as her eyes searched the room for whatever had startled the Spectre, "what is it?"

She had been crying, Shepard saw, the tears still fresh in her eyes as he reached the brunette, pulling her in and holding her tight. The scent of her, the warmth of her held so tightly against him, the quiet sound of her breath all helping chase away the nightmare her still, motionless form had summoned.

Miranda's shoulders moved, and for an instant Shepard thought she was trying to pull away, then there was a faint thump as her pistol landed on the empty bed and Miranda's arms wrapped around Shepard, hugging him as tightly as he held her.

"I saw you lying there," Shepard whispered, "and I thought...maybe because of Ashley's service...and for a moment, a second, I thought you were..."

Miranda blinked away fresh tears as she watched Shepard shy away from using the word 'dead' when talking about her. "I'm fine," Miranda reassured Shepard, her voice gentle, "I'm–"

Shepard kissed the incredible woman in his arms, letting her feel his desperation and discovering her own urgency as he turned and toppled backwards, bringing them both down atop the hotel bed. Shepard kept kissing Miranda as the discarded Paladin pressed uncomfortably against his back and he felt the tears of the woman who loved him land on his face. Shepard kissed Miranda until they had to part for air – and then the Spectre struggled through their mixed tears to watch the woman atop him. The woman he loved. The woman who pushed herself away and stared down at him with a vulnerability in her eyes that they only ever shared with each other.

"I need to tell you something," Miranda's voice cracked as she talked, "and I need you to trust me. Please." Wet, sky-blue eyes pleaded for understanding as her hands pushed against Shepard's tensing shoulders, "Please."

Shepard nodded.

"I..." The sky vanished behind closed lids, "...the missing students from Grissom Academy? Cerberus has them, I have them." Miranda hurriedly continued, the words pouring from her as she watched Shepard. "I had to take charge of the mission. Petrovsky was planning a military style operation – against a school. What choice did I have?"

"You could have told–"

"I couldn't," Miranda interrupted, her eyes once again searching Shepard's, "you would have tried to stop me – and then Leng would have captured Jacob, Bryne, and Kelly."

"Miranda, you could have warned the Alliance," Shepard reasoned, "alerted them somehow, force Cerberus to abandon the op." Shepard's next words caused a flicker of pain to flit across Miranda's face, "They're children, Miranda. I know you still want to believe that Cerberus wasn't responsible for the children's camp on Pragia; for what happened on Aite – but I can't, Miranda. I can't trust Cerberus."

"Shepard..." With just a single word Miranda hurt Shepard as deeply as he had just hurt her.

"Whatever justification the Illusive Man gave you, Miranda," Shepard needed Miranda, he needed her to see that Cerberus was spinning out of control as it grew evermore extreme, "he lied. He manipulated you to get what he wanted – and I think you're starting to see that is what he has always done."

Miranda pulled back – and Shepard let her go, watching as she sat on the edge of the bed, her back turned to him.

"I saw what the Illusive Man did to Kelly." Shepard watched Miranda for a reaction, a twitch, anything that told him whether she believed him, "Do you really think those children will be safe with him." Shepard paused then asked, "If we had a child, if they were one of the abducted? What would we be doing right now?"

Miranda twitched and somehow, without moving, seemed to draw further away. "Those children will have a future," Miranda spoke after a long silence, but her words weren't directed at Shepard, "it may not be all they wanted – but they'll be alive. Even if we fail."

Shepard wanted Miranda to turn around, to tell him – not the dimly lit hotel room.

"They'll be safe." Shepard was uncertain whether Miranda was trying to convice him or herself, "The Ziusudra is a refuge, Shepard. Maybe the only one if I can't find a way to stop the Reapers." There was a bitter note of frustration in the brunette's voice as she finished speaking.

Shepard took a breath and sat back up, suppressing the instinctual reaction to respond to Miranda's accusation. "How did Oriana's family react when Cerberus abducted her?" The Spectre tried not to flinch as he spoke, as he deliberately provoked the woman who meant so much to him, "How did Ori take it when armed and armoured strangers tore her away from her life, her friends, her," Shepard had to force himself to coninue, "her real family?"

Miranda Lawson was a naturally pale woman, but now her face turned even paler as Shepard's final words sunk in. "Her real family?" The star-hot fury in Miranda's voice couldn't fully hide her hurt at the Spectre's words. "She's my sister, Shepard!" The brunette sprung to her feet and stared furiously at the still Spectre, "My sister! You know how much she means to me, what I've done to protect her – to keep her safe!"

Shepard wanted nothing more than to apologise, to admit what he was doing...instead he twisted the knife and fought to keep his despair from showing. "Did Oriana cry when she realised the sister she had known for little more than a year was her kidnapper?"

"I did not abduct my sister!" Miranda's voice was fury, "I asked her, begged her to come with me – but she wouldn't leave." The fury burned away and all that was left was her pain. "Even after I told her everything about the Ziusudra – and the dangers from the Reapers, from our father...she still wouldn't go..."

The Spectre couldn't go on, he wouldn't go on, the anguish Miranda was in was too much – even for the sake of thirty abducted children. Instead Shepard reached out and held Miranda's hand, not letting go when she tried to pull away but also not drawing her back. "What happened?" The words weren't an apology – but they were offered as one.

Miranda's fury sparked, trying to reignite, but the fuel it needed was gone. "She said no," Miranda admitted as she settled down next to Shepard again, "she told me that when the Reapers come she wasn't going to leave her family behind and hide whilst the Reapers killed everyone else. That she wanted to help, wanted to help me." Miranda shook her head, "She has no real idea of the sacrifices our lives demand we make. How could she? I gave her a real life, a normal life, the life our father would never have allowed."

Shepard raised their entwined hands and gently kissed Miranda's.

The brunette's breath hitched at the warmth of Shepard's mouth and when she resumed talking her voice was tired. "For so long that was enough," Miranda explained, "as long as Ori was safe and living her own life...that was enough...and it was, Shepard, it was worth the cost." Miranda gently brought their joined hands back down, almost wrapping herself around Shepard's arm as if she feared the Spectre would pull away.

Shepard had to try, had to reach Miranda somehow. "Your sister loves you," Shepard's cheek rested atop of Miranda's raven-black hair, "and she knows you're in trouble, so she wants to help. She may not know how, but she is not going to leave you – nor am I."

Miranda gave a quiet sigh and for several long minutes the couple sat silently, staring out through the hotel room window at the empty night sky beyond.

"I killed Ash," Shepard didn't realise he was speaking aloud until he felt Miranda hold him tighter.

"Shepard, it wasn't your–"

"I shot her." The Spectre couldn't hold back the words, "She was injured and I killed her, Miranda. She thought I was working with Cerberus, she thought I was a traitor and I killed her."

Miranda moved, meeting Shepard's eyes. "Tell me." The words were a soft invitation, not an order.

"She didn't trust me. She thought she had to stop me." Shepard struggled to find the words he needed.

"Stop you how?" Miranda's voice was gentle.

"It doesn't matter," Shepard focused on what was important, "she was wounded, helpless, and I killed her."

"Stop you how, Shepard?" Miranda's voice grew firmer as she repeated her question.

"She couldn't even stand, Miranda," Shepard tried to avoid the question, "her hard-suit was shredded, we were alone–"

"She shot at you," Miranda guess was confirmed by Shepard's surprised blink, "so you fired back. Shepard...she tried to kill you–"

Shame forced Shepard's eyes closed as Miranda's reconstruction went awry. "Miri, that's not what happened."

Miranda rested her forehead against Shepard's for a brief second before she kissed him. "We both have secrets," The raven-haired Cerberus Operative's whispered words were a ghost-like touch against Shepard's mouth, "so if you don't want to tell me...I'll understand."

The Spectre bought himself time with a kiss, a simple uncomplicated kiss that gave Shepard the answer he needed. "Ash's weapon overheated." Shepard explained as his eyes opened, revealing the face of the woman who loved him, "I had a chance. I could have disarmed her, with her injuries she could barely lift her weapon, I could have taken it from her and there was no way she could prevent that – but I didn't. I could have just walked, left her there, if I had she might have survived until a medic could see to her – but I didn't do that either."

Miranda just watched, silently and without judgement.

"Instead I talked to her, I did the exact same thing that hadn't worked on the Praepesa." Shepard blinked, "I did the one thing I knew wouldn't work, that hadn't worked with Ash since the attack on Horizon...and I can't stop myself from thinking..." Shepard paused, took a breath and confessed, "I can't stop wondering if...if some part of me wanted to kill her."

"Shepard." One word, just his name, shouldn't have been able to hold all the love Miranda infused it with – but somehow it did.

"We had been arguing, fighting really, for days. Ash wouldn't agree with me on anything and I was furious with her, with the Council for delaying us, with the whole situation we were in." Shepard kept his eyes focused on Miranda's as he spoke, "Looking back I keep asking; did I stay because I wanted to beat her, or because I genuinely thought she'd miraculously come around."

"You wanted your friend back," There was nothing but certainty in Miranda's voice, "and that's all, Shepard. You wanted Chief Williams to trust you again – because if she would? Then maybe the Alliance, the Council, could too." The brunette carried on, talking over Shepard's protestations, "You didn't plot to murder Chief Williams, Shepard. You tried to talk her around, it's what you always try to do."

The kiss the couple shared lasted an all too short eternity, leaving them both breathless but still needing more. More kisses followed, burying the disagreements with a shared voiceless declaration of how they felt towards each other – until even those expressions couldn't convey how much they meant to one another...

Hamilton

It had been a week since Shepard had awoken to an empty hotel room, to a bed larger and colder than the one he had fallen asleep in. A week that the Spectre had spent stalking a young woman going about her life. A life so apparently mundane, a life seemingly untarnished by the sacrifices made so that it could be so normal – but blended into the normality where the watchers, ready to call in the hidden away guardians. A week spent using the trade-craft of his N7 days and the cloned files from Miranda's omni-tool to slip, ghost-like, past the watchers and the guardians all to arrange this single private meeting in the cramped living room of a surprisingly tidy student flat.

Shepard caught himself examining the young woman in front of him, comparing really. Wondering if Miranda had ever been so...youthful, so carefree.

"This is a little strange," Oriana Lawson seemed to almost squirm at the Spectre's silent study, "I mean Miranda's talked about you now and again...and there's the stuff on the news-sites...and I did send you that message after Illium..."

Shepard made a conscious attempt to relax and gave a wry smile, "I'm fairly sure Miranda read it first." It was a weak joke but Oriana gave a brief smile before her uneasiness resurfaced.

"This is about Miri," Oriana asked unhappily, "about something she's done?"

"It is about the missing students," Shepard answered, "and about Miri as well." The Spectre paused for a moment, "It's also about you as well – and right now that is the most important topic."

"You want me to do something for you," Oriana may not have been as familiar with espionage as her sister but she was as intelligent, "something you don't want Miri knowing about."

"Yes." Shepard admitted, "If you don't want to do this, just say so and I'll go. I'll try and rescue those students and Miri some-other way. But I think the best chance we have of saving everyone is with your help."

Shepard watched the young woman curled on the settee, a blanket covering her from the waist downwards, trying to judge whether she would help him or not.

"I...it doesn't feel right," Oriana avoided Shepard's eyes as she spoke, "I don't know if..."

"It feels horrible," Shepard knew how Oriana felt, he had been feeling the same way for nine days, since the moment he had awoken to an empty hotel room. "I know." The Spectre continued, "You question yourself for even thinking about it – but she needs our help and this is the only way we can help her now."

Oriana was watching Shepard now, her eyes so alike Miranda's the Spectre hesitated.

"Oriana? If Miranda stays with Cerberus – they will turn her into something she's not." The Spectre's voice was urgent as he made his pitch, "The Illusive Man is so desperate for an advantage, for validation, that he's lost what little restraint he once had. He is driving Miranda towards a cliff and he won't even stop when she goes over the edge." The Spectre activated his omni-tool. "This is Kelly Chambers," Shepard told Oriana as his omni-tool projected an image of soul-less blue eyes blindly staring from a face almost consumed by infiltrating cybernetics and circuitry, "she was on the Normandy with Miranda and me before being abducted by the Collectors. It left her traumitised. Catatonic." Shepard selected another image, this one came from the medical scanner aboard the Normandy. "So Cerberus decided she could be useful in another way," The medical image showed Kelly's implants extended far beyond just her face. The glowing green lines the medical hologram used to distinguish Kelly's implants stretched through-out her body, they were coiled around the white of her bones and threaded through the blue muscles and organs.

Oriana looked physically sick as she stared at the hologram.

"They experimented on her," Shepard drove the point home, "The Illusive Man wanted another soldier, not a traumitised young woman, so they built him one. One surgery, one implant at a time." Shepard powered down his omni-tool. "I won't risk that happening to Miranda, to anyone, ever again."

"You think Cerberus...that they would do that to my sister?" Oriana's voice wavered as she asked her question.

"Yes," Shepard's answer was short and honest, "they would."

The flat was silent for several minutes. Shepard waiting for Oriana's decision; the younger Lawson struggling to reconcile the images she had just seen with her sister's portrayal of Cerberus.

"What." Oriana's voice was sad as she made her decision, "What would I have to do?"

It was a pleasant sunny morning, the hour early enough for the air to still be crisp, as Shepard watched Oriana and Laytha, the asari mercenary that posed as Oriana's room-mate, step out of their building and set off for their morning jog.

The Spectre glanced upwards somewhere, out of sight, up there was an air-car with a squad of heavily armed Cerberus agents. The second, unseen, part of the protective detail Miranda had organised for her sister.

The Spectre checked the street one last time, the only other people in sight where another pair of joggers who waved to Oriana and Laytha from across the street as they headed in the opposite direction. It was a quite little idyll, a sleepy small town street on a secure Systems Alliance colony. An idyll that suddenly vanished in the loud, screaming, wails of a house alarm.

For a second the house alarm held the attention of everyone on the street, the shrill tones seemingly paralysing everyone but the four armoured mercenaries swiftly emerging from the building directly behind Oriana and Laytha and rushing towards the two unaware women.

The purple-blue fire of Laytha's biotics surged into life around her as the asari mercenary turned around. Perhaps she heard the racing foot-steps of the would-be abducters running towards her and her charge, or maybe it was the result of nearly a century's worth of experience, either way Laytha's reaction was not those of a terrified civilian. With a single gesture the asari bodyguard unleashed her biotics, throwing the leading pair of mercenaries into the second pair and sending all four tumbling to the floor.

As the four assailaints picked themselves back up from the ground Laytha grabbed Oriana by the hand and started running back down the street to their apartment building, a nigh-invisble dome surrounding them as Laytha concentrated on protecting herself and Oriana.

Three of the mercenaries started chasing after the fleeing women whilst the fourth hurriedly unslung the grenade launcher he was carrying and fired, sending a volley of grenades to bounce off Laytha's protective barrier in a rapidly expanding cloud of grey-white gas. A cloud that covered the runners in a choking, blinding shroud of non-lethal crowd control gas – something that the mercenaries' sealed hard-suits provided total immunity to, but Laytha's biotics did not.

For Oriana the effects of the gas was overwhelming, blinded by the tears streaming from her burning eyes and choking on the white gas, the younger Lawson couldn't continue running – only the tight grip of Laytha's hand in hers kept the overwhelmed brunette stumbling onwards as the mercenaries closed in.

Laytha's biotics flared again as the three mercenaries reached the two gasping and coughing women, catching one of her assailants and lifting him away up into the air before savagely slamming him down into the ground, leaving the mercenary stunned. The remaining pair tackled the two women to the ground, separating them. Oriana squirmed under her attacker, trying to break free, but she was easily over-powered by the hard-suit clad mercenary and in seconds her hands were cuffed behind her back and she was hauled to her feet. The second mercenary had a far harder time, his victim was not an untrained young woman and it wasn't until the mercenary she had thrown with her biotics arrived and jammed a shock-rod into Laytha's side sending until he could restrain his captive.

The grenade-launcher wielding mercenary looked upwards as a sudden down draft swirled the cloud of gas. Shepard could only imagine the look of surprise that crossed the mersenary's face as an unremarkable, civilian air-car pulled up from its steep dive. A barrage of rifle fire cut the surprised mercenary down faster than he could react to the shock appearance of three armoured Cerberus soldiers who then jumped down from the hovering vehicle and closed in on the remaining would-be kidnappers, cutting down another of the mercenaries with automatic fire from their modified "TYPE" rifles.

The remaining two mercenaries hurriedly pulled their captives before them, using Oriana and Laytha as shields as the Cerberus soldiers spread out. "Back off," Adrenaline speeded the mercenary leader's words running them into each other. "Back off or we'll kill them!" The speaker's pistol dug into the soft skin behind Oriana's chin forcing her head upwards, "You hear me?"

Shepard sighted the sniper rifle he had brought with him on the speaker, the distance was a little under three hundred metres, well within the weapon's range.

"Let the women go," The voice modulator of the Cerberus soldier hid any emotional inflection, "and you can leave unharmed."

"You killed two of mine," The mercenary leader snarled back, "and now you want me to just walk away with nothing? FUCK YOU! I'm not going to let Cerberus muscle me out of a score–" The mercenary's voice cut off as both mercenaries' weapons ejected their heat sinks and locked open, transforming them into nothing more than hunks of metal and plastic.

The mercenary leader looked at his disabled weapon in disbelief, "Ho–" was all the leader could manage before a length of polished steel erupted from his throat and silenced him.

Shepard eased his finger off the trigger as the three Cerberus soldiers rushed the remaining mercenary tackling him to the ground as the optical cloak dropped from the fourth, blade-wielding, member of their team. The ninja-like soldier slowly twisted their blade, drawing more gurgling from the mercenary leader as his hand futilely worked the trigger of disabled weapon, before smoothly pulling it free from the dying man's neck and knocking him aside.

"I disabled your suit's medi-gel as well," The ninja spoke with the same digitised voice as the other Cerberus soldier, "just in case you were wondering."

Shepard watched as the Cerberus ninja removed the restraints from Oriana and then injected her with a counter-agent for the gas which was swiftly being blown apart by the down draft from the still hovering air-car.

"Take me to my sister," The fear in Oriana's gasping voice was not entirely genuine. Shepard hadn't given the younger Lawson the details of what he had planned, just enough to know that something was going to happen that would help explain Oriana's sudden need to be with her sister.

Shepard smoothly broke down his weapon as the Cerberus squad departed with Oriana and Laytha, their air-car vanishing into the stream of traffic far overhead, leaving only the bodies of the four mercenaries as evidence of the fighting. Through his ear-piece the Spectre could hear the local police dispatching units, as they finally received the intercepted frantic calls from residents as he left the empty flat and hurried to make his own escape. Concealing his trip here from everyone had not been easy but it had been necessary. If Cerberus learned of what he had set in motion today, then it would all be for nothing – worse it would put Miranda and her sister in even greater danger.