Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you can't believe you have to put up with this shit.

There you were, minding your own business, trying to get your homework done, when up popped a message from the annoying little catgirl from your first period English class. She was always trying to rope you into rping with her. It was no secret she was crushing on you pretty hard, a subject you tried your best to avoid at all times. Why couldn't she just leave you alone?

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] -

AC: :33 *ac slinks up behind karkat silently, watching him carefurry*

AC: :33 *suddenly, she s33s an opening, and pounces!*

CG: KARKAT REGARDS AC WITH ANNOYANCE.

CG: KARKAT COULD HAVE SWORN HE TOLD AC NOT TO BOTHER HIM WITH THIS STUPID BULLSHIT AGAIN.

AC: :33 *ac pouts* come on, karkat *she says*

AC: :33 rp with me! its a lot of fun!

CG: NO. ROLEPLAYING IS STUPID FUCKING BULLSHIT FOR STUPID FUCKING CHILDREN WHO CAN'T DEAL WITH THE REAL WORLD.

CG: NOT FOR MATURE ADULTS SUCH AS MYSELF.

AC: :33 *ac looks up at karkat with huge, shining eyes* pl33333333aaasss3333? *she begs*

CG: KARKAT LOOKS DOWN AT HER WITH PITY AND DISGUST. WHAT DID KARKAT EVER DO TO DESERVE SUCH PUNISHMENT? TRULY, GOD IS DEAD.

CG: ... FINE. BUT JUST A LITTLE.

AC: :33 yessss! *ac purrs triumphantly*

== Karkat: Immediately regret decision to indulge the catgirl

Jesus fucking Christ, why the hell did you just agree to that? Now you're going to get sucked into an rp that's going to last fucking hours. And the worst part was, this was a regular occurrence. You always caved when she asked you to rp, even if you put up as much fuss as you could. If you were being perfectly honest (and you never would be), you weren't as bothered by it as you acted. You might even have found her rping kinda cute and endearing, if rping weren't such stupid fucking bullshit for stupid fucking children who can't deal with the real world. But it most certainly was, and you most certainly were not a stupid fucking child who couldn't deal with the real world. You knew very well that the world was a dark and horrible place, so why the hell couldn't she see it? Why the hell was she always so infuriatingly happy?

== Be the infuriatingly happy catgirl

Your name is Nepeta Leijon, and you are incredibly happy. Not because it had been a particularly good day – indeed, it had actually been pretty bad. You found out you had failed your math test and you were going to have to take a remedial course, you still couldn't understand what was going on in chemistry, and to top it all off, you had to walk home in the rain. But all that paled in comparison to what was making you happy. The boy of your dreams, Karkat Vantas, just agreed to rp with you, with only the barest hint of resistance. Oh sure, he swore at you and insulted roleplaying, but that was all part of what made you like him so much. He was just so adorably grumpy! Of course, you would never tell him that. Nobody could ever know about how much you liked him. You were 100% certain that he had no idea about your feelings for him, and it was going to stay that way. Still, you couldn't help doing things that might give him little hints, such as begging him to rp with you, stealing little glances at him during English, and drawing pictures of him absent-mindedly while you're bored. But you were still sure he had no idea, and that he had never seen any of the pictures you drew.

== Karkat: Take a break

You manage to excuse yourself from the intricate story Nepeta had crafted for you two to play out tonight, saying your dad was calling you for dinner. In truth, your dad wasn't even home, and probably wouldn't be until the wee hours of the morning, but still, you were getting hungry, and if you didn't feed yourself, you wouldn't get fed. You check the clock on the way downstairs. Somehow, three hours had passed since Nepeta first messaged you, and you hadn't even noticed. You probably wouldn't ever have noticed had it not been for the growling of your stomach.

You look upon the mess that is the lower floor of your house with disgust. You always kept your room perfectly spotless, apart from the small amount of clutter on your bedside table, but your father did not share your standards for cleanliness. The living room was strewn with trash, the kitchen sink filled with unwashed dishes, the floors crying out for a broom, a mop, anything to rid them of the horrible mess of crumbs and assorted stains that had accumulated on them. You walk into the kitchen, grimacing at the crumby, vaguely sticky sensation of the floors on the bottoms of your feet. With a sigh, you open the pantry, eying the sparsely populated shelves. Ramen for dinner tonight. Again.

You understood that your father didn't have the money to provide fancy meals for you. You understood perfectly and had made your peace with that. But was it really so much to ask that he stock the pantry with something other than ramen noodles? That he sweep the god damn floors once in a while? That he not spend all the money that could go towards a decent fucking meal on cheap beer and cheap women? It wouldn't be like this if your mom were around, you think bitterly. In truth, you have no idea what it would be like if your mom were around, your experience of her personality rather limited by the fact that she died giving birth to you, but you refuse to believe she would just sit by and let you live like this. You are certain that she would take great pride in her house, even if it was a shitty little place in the slums, more rightfully called a shack than a house. But she would keep it clean, and she would make sure your dad cleaned up after himself as well.

Anyway, that is enough of that wistful bullshit, you think to yourself, picking up a rag and soap and getting to work on the unwashed dishes in the sink. It doesn't do any good thinking about what it might be like if mom hadn't died and if dad didn't drink so much. Might as well think of winning the lottery and discovering that you're actually the heir to some beautiful island kingdom for all the good it's doing you. You have to face your problems head on, that's what the movies were always telling you, wasn't it? And if you couldn't trust Will Smith to teach you how to live, who the hell could you trust?

== Nepeta: Go get dinner

What good timing, you think to yourself. Not five minutes after Karkat went away for dinner, you heard your own mom calling out to you to come downstairs. You quickly tap out a message to Karkat in case he gets back before you do, which was usually the case when you were having a conversation and you both left for dinner. You always took at least half an hour for dinner, what with cleaning up and talking to your family, and you still thought that was a pretty good time, but Karkat never took more than ten or fifteen minutes. He must just be a fast eater, you think with a shrug.

You walk downstairs to see your mom setting a bowl of mixed vegetables down on the table next to some roast chicken and mashed potatoes. You loved your mom's roast chicken, she always made it just the way you liked it, with all sorts of seasonings and salted to perfection, with a bit of gravy on the side. You slid into your seat next to your dad, who smiled at you and asked how your day had gone.

"My day went furry well!" you say, helping yourself to a generous serving of everything on the table. Your mouth was already watering at the scent of it all. Your mother was not one to disappoint.

"That's good to hear," your dad replies, smiling to himself a little at your use of the cat pun. "Didn't you have a math test today? How did that go?"

You stiffen in your seat. You would have to tell them about the remedial courses eventually, as your parents had to sign off on them, and now was as good a time as any, you supposed. But you did hate to disappoint them. You found yourself wishing you could shrink into your seat and disappear. Maybe you could dash back up to your room, lock the door, and just go back to rping with Karkat. Stay there for the rest of your life. You could certainly think of worse ways to spend your life.

Your dad must have noticed your hesitation, because he suddenly seemed to focus on you more, and his smile faded a little. "Something wrong, sweetie?" he asked, a hint of apprehension in his voice.

"Ah... the math test... didn't go all that well. I'm gonna have to take extra lessons over the summer," you answered. Suddenly, although your mouth had turned to a desert and your appetite had faded to nothing, your plate of food became incredibly interesting. So much so that you could not look your father in the eye, opting instead to observe the drops of oil in the pools of gravy on your mound of mashed potatoes.

You hear your father set down his fork. Uh oh, looks like you've got his full attention now. "Well, I can't say I'm happy to hear that," he says slowly, "but I'm not angry, if that's what you're worried about. I was never particularly good at math myself, and neither was your mother, if I remember correctly. That being said, I expect you to work hard at these remedial classes and study for at least an hour every night, right after you get home. I'll be checking on you to make sure you've done your work, and if you're not doing it, I won't hesitate to take your laptop away. And remember, you can always ask for help if you need it. As I said, I'm not the best at math, but I think I can handle it at a high school level."

Your mother had been quiet through the conversation. She generally left matters of discipline to your father, although they were both probably softer than they should be, but here she spoke up. "Dear, don't you think a full hour is a bit much? I can't imagine that, if she's doing it every night, she'll need more than half an hour of revision," she says.

"Hmmm, I suppose. Half an hour it is, then. But I expect you to be working for that full half hour, and not touching your computer until you're done," he concedes.

"Alright! I'll work plenty hard efurry night and I'll be sure to do great on all the tests after this!" you answer, relieved. The conversation had gone far better than expected.

"That's my girl. Now, news like this makes me wonder, what was so great that it made your day go 'furry well?' Did you meet a nice boy, perhaps?" your dad teases. Suddenly the red rises in your cheeks, and you hear your dad laugh loudly. "Seems like I might be close!" he exclaims, still laughing.

"Oh, stop it. Don't you think we've tormented her enough for one night, what with all this remedial math nonsense?" your mother snaps, shooting your father a playful glare.

"Alright, alright, I was just asking. Don't want my little girl getting into any trouble with boys."

You laugh, and finally your appetite is back. You dig into your food (just as delicious as it smelled) and help clean up before rushing back upstairs to rejoin your rp with Karkat.

Huh, that's odd, he's not back yet.

== Karkat: Finish cleaning

Well, that was a fucking ordeal. You were so disgusted by the state of your house that you just snapped and went on a cleaning rampage. There was only so much you could do without proper cleaning supplies, and something told you some of the stains on the couch wouldn't come out even if you burned it, but the place was at least a lot cleaner than it was when you came downstairs. The dishes were washed, the floors swept and mopped, all the detritus left by your dad put in the trash and the trash taken out to the curb. With a satisfied look around, you check the clock. Fuck. You've been down here nearly two hours. Nepeta will be wondering where you've gone.

You rush back upstairs, slowing halfway up the stairs to a walk when you realize that you really shouldn't be rushing for something as stupid as rping with some annoying catgirl. Well, maybe you were being a little harsh. She wasn't that bad. You could hardly blame her for wanting to escape this shitty world through roleplaying, even if it wasn't what you thought should be done. She probably just didn't watch as many movies as you, and as such didn't have proper instruction on how to deal with life. Maybe you should show her some of those movies some time, so she can learn how you're meant to deal with an awful life and stop playing stupid games for little children. You could invite her over some time for it. Your dad would almost certainly be out, so you wouldn't have to worry about him. It would just be the two of you...

You shake the thought from your head. That is sounding altogether too much like you're thinking of asking out the girl who had obviously been crushing on you for years. Even if you liked her that way, the shock would probably kill her. And you certainly didn't like her that way. Sure, she was kinda cute... alright, she was fucking adorable. And she was decent to talk to. She was one of the few people that was actually willing to carry on a conversation with you for more than a few minutes, a prestigious status achieved only by your friend Gamzee, who was so stoned out of his fucking mind all the time he couldn't follow the conversations you had, Eridan, the douchiest, sleaziest fuckhead you ever had the displeasure of meeting (and also one of your closest friends), and Sollux, although his moods were so wild you could only really have a decent conversation with him about half the time. Really, she was probably the best person you could go to for a conversation these days, even if she insisted upon roleplaying everything.

But still, there was no way in hell you liked her like that. And even if you did, after how your relationship with Terezi went, you're not too eager to jump into another one, even if it had been a while. You didn't really bear Terezi any ill will, even if she dumped you for that douche Strider, but no one would ever say you had a good relationship. She was always playing her weird mind games, and you were far too needy for her. No, you accept that she's probably better off with that stupid fucking loser, but the whole ordeal made you question whether you were really fit to be in a relationship or not.

Anyway, that is enough of that train of thought, you think as you get back onto your computer.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] –

CG: FUCK, SORRY I TOOK SO LONG. I GOT A LITTLE DISTRACTED.

arsenicCatnip [AC] is idle!

CG: YOU STILL THERE?

AC: :33 yeah, sorry!

AC: :33 i wondered where you went

CG: I WAS JUST CLEANING UP A LITTLE.

AC: :33 that must have been quite the mess! h33 h33!

CG: YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
CG: IT WAS LIKE THE DEPTHS OF HELL VOMITED UP ALL THE MOST WRETCHED SOULS IN THE ABYSS WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF TRASHING MY HOUSE.

AC: :33 h33 h33! dont your parents efur clean up?

== Karkat: Give in to untold rage

Where does she get off? Who the fuck gave her the right to talk about your family? She didn't know shit, why the fuck was she talking like she knew something? Sure, your father was a fucking slob who completely disgusted you, but he was still your father, god damn it, and you'll be fucked if you're going to just sit by while someone talks shit about him.

AC: :33 karkat? are you still there?

CG: YES I'M STILL FUCKING HERE. NOW YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT MY PARENTS.

CG: OR I SHOULD SAY PARENT, SINGULAR.

AC: :33 what?

CG: I SAID, YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING MOUTH. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY FAMILY. SO WHAT IF MY DAD DOESN'T CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF? I CAN CLEAN UP JUST FINE FOR THE BOTH OF US, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH.

CG: WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET OFF TALKING SHIT ABOUT A MAN'S FAMILY LIKE THAT?

CG: IT DOESN'T MATTER IF OUR HOUSE IS A LITTLE MESSY, OR IF WE LIVE IN A FUCKING SLUM, OR IF WE CAN'T AFFORD A PROPER DINNER. WE'RE PERFECTLY FUCKING HAPPY, AND EVEN IF WE WEREN'T, IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

CG: NOW YOU NEVER FUCKING MENTION MY FAMILY EVER AGAIN.

AC: :(( im sorry karkat, i didn't realize this would upset you so much

CG: FUCK YOU. YOU CAN GO RIGHT TO HELL.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] –

== Nepeta: Cry

That is not a command you really have to give. You are already bawling your eyes out. What did you do wrong? You don't understand what's going on. Apparently Karkat's parents are a sore subject. Or, parent. You never knew he didn't have a mom. Or that he was so poor. Could he really not afford a proper meal? What did he eat, then? Sure, your family wasn't rich, but you weren't poor either, and you always had plenty to eat. You couldn't imagine having to live without the big meals your mom cooks. If he doesn't have a mom, then does his dad cook for him? What else don't you know about him? You like to consider yourself an expert on all things Karkat, but if you didn't know something like this, are you really fit to even call yourself his friend? You should just give up on your silly little crush right now. He clearly hates you and never wants to speak with you again.

== Karkat: Cool down

You sure fucking showed her. That'll teach her not to talk shit about your family.

It occurs to you that she probably didn't mean to talk shit about your family. You never mentioned family to her before, so she had no way to know that it was such a sore subject. Still, you rationalize, you don't just go talking shit about someone's parent, even if they've got a decent home life, which you most certainly did not.

The more logical and calm part of your brain points out that just asking if your parents cleaned up doesn't really qualify as an insult. Especially when just before you had been ranting about the huge mess you had to clean up.

Fuck.

You just fucked up, didn't you?

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She's probably curled up on her bed right now, bawling her eyes out, with no idea why you just fucking exploded at her over a seemingly innocent comment that she certainly didn't mean anything by. The girl was fucking in love with you, you knew that, you had seen the silly little pictures she drew during class when she thought no one was looking. Fuck, half the times when you rped with her it was some stupid romance storyline, with her being a daring rogue in some far-off kingdom and you a handsome knight, you two always somehow ending up in weird, contrived romantic situations that really made no sense. In truth, you loved those stories far more than you were ever willing to admit, and had a huge collection of romance novels and romantic comedies lying around.

Fuck, you should really apologize to her, shouldn't you?

No, you shouldn't. It would be embarrassing beyond measure.

But think of her. She thinks so highly of you, this outburst probably really fucked her up.

You don't fucking care, you think to yourself.

That's not true and you know it. You do care about her, even if you don't want to admit it. You have to make this up to her somehow. Maybe you really should invite her over for that movie? Would she even want to come any more? It couldn't hurt to ask, you suppose. Now to man the fuck up and actually go through with it.

== Karkat: Man the fuck up

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] –

CG: HEY NEPETA, ARE YOU STILL THERE?

arsenicCatnip [AC] is idle!

CG: FUCK. I'M SO FUCKING SORRY. YOU'RE PROBABLY AWAY BAWLING YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT BECAUSE I'M THE BIGGEST FUCKING OVERSENSITIVE SHITSTAIN ON THE GOD DAMN PLANET EARTH.

CG: LOOK, IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT THAT I BLEW UP A LITTLE WHILE AGO.

CG: YOU HAD NO IDEA THAT MY FAMILY WAS SUCH A TOUCHY SUBJECT FOR ME.

CG: PROBABLY AS A DIRECT RESULT OF ME NEVER MENTIONING IT. EVER.

CG: SO REALLY, THIS WHOLE THING IS MY FAULT.

CG: AND I AM DETERMINED TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

CG: UNFORTUNATELY, THE ONLY WAY I CAN THINK OF IS LAME AS ALL HELL, BUT I'M GOING TO TRY IT ANYWAY.

CG: SO, NEPETA, WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW NIGHT TO WATCH A MOVIE?

CG: I CAN PROBABLY SCROUNGE UP SOME POPCORN AND SODA IF YOU WANT.

CG: MY DAD PROBABLY WON'T BE HOME, SO IT'D JUST BE THE TWO OF US.

CG: SO, YEAH. GET BACK TO ME WHEN YOU GET THIS MESSAGE.

- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] –

Well, that went about as well as could be expected. You really hoped she wasn't too down, and if she was, that that would cheer her up. It occurs to you that you mentioning that it'd just be the two of you might lead her to believe that you mean it as a date. Maybe you should go back and correct that?

Nah, you think. It'll be fine.

== Nepeta: Freak the fuck out

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit. What the hell is going on tonight? First Karkat freaks out at you over a thing so tiny as asking if his parents cleaned up or not, and now he's asking you to come to his for a movie? How the hell are you supposed to take that? Does he mean it as a date? No, of course he doesn't. He just wants to make up for being so mean to you. You two are friends, after all. This is a perfectly normal thing for friends to do. Sitting in his house together. With nobody else. In the dark.

You quickly decide that there is nothing in heaven or on earth that could make you miss this. You should have no trouble getting permission from your parents, seeing as tomorrow was Friday, and you could always just do your revision before you go. Even with the remedial math situation, they've never been the types of parents to keep you from going out on the rare occasions that you make plans. They trust you implicitly. And after all, this was just going to a friend's house to watch a movie. As friends. Nothing more.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to get a little dressed up, would it? Friends like to look nice for each other, don't they?

== Be future Karkat

Why the fuck couldn't your dad ever just clean up after himself? Nepeta would be over in a few hours and there were at least two new stains on the floor and couch. You just fucking cleaned this place last night, and already it's trashed again. At least he had the decency to leave the house for the night before you got home. You did not want to have to deal with his bullshit tonight. The house had to be spotless and you just knew he would fuck something up if he was home. Everything had to be absolutely perfect for tonight.

You briefly pause to wonder why you were getting so worked up over Nepeta coming over. After all, you were just going to be watching a movie as friends. Alone. In your house. With the lights off. Friends do that.

You certainly don't like her that way, if that's what you're insinuating. You just really want to make up for being such a dick to her. Is that so wrong? And if you were to get a bit close to her, well, that'd be alright. Friends cuddle sometimes. Nothing wrong with it. Friends kiss sometimes. That's perfectly normal. Friends sometimes fuck each others' brains out while a movie plays in the background. You are certain that that is perfectly acceptable friendly behaviour.

No. It is not. Friends do not do any of those things. Stop fantasizing, you little pervert. You don't like her that way, remember?

== Karkat: Answer the door

There we go. The house is spotless, the stains on the couch have been either removed or covered with blankets, the popcorn is popped, and your movie collection has been placed on display in alphabetic order. Everything is perfect for tonight, and just in time, you think as the doorbell rings. You breathe a light sigh, wishing there was something you could do to make the neighbourhood look a little nicer. Unfortunately, all you could hope to do was make the inside of your house presentable.

You open the door, and your breath catches in your throat. There stands Nepeta, and she looks stunning. This is probably the first time you've seen her with makeup on, and instantly you wish you could see this every day. Her usually wild hair has been combed and straightened, and the blue cat hood she is normally so loathe to part with is conspicuously absent. She wears a beautiful olive green dress, and looking into her eyes makes your throat dry up.

"Hi Karkat!" she says, breaking you out of your trance.

"Uh, hey. Shit, Nepeta, you didn't need to go and get all dressed up," you answer, your voice coming out scratchy from the dryness of your throat, suddenly feeling horribly underdressed in your black t-shirt and blue jeans.

"Oh, you don't like it? I just figured I'd try to look kinda nice, you know?" she replies quietly, looking rather crestfallen.

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Jesus fucking Christ, Nepeta, you look great. I just wasn't expecting it." You suddenly realize that she's been standing in the doorway for what is probably an awkwardly long time. "Come in, come in," you say, grabbing her by the arm, horribly aware of how sweaty your hand must be. As she passes you, you get a whiff of her perfume. It's a strong, heady scent, but not overpowering, and it makes your head spin. You want to be close to her. You want to hold her and smell her and kiss her.

You resist the urge to grab her, instead opting to usher her into the living room, showing her to your movie collection. "Go ahead and pick one out," you tell her, heading for the kitchen. "I'm just gonna go grab the popcorn."

You step into the kitchen and shake your head vigorously, attempting to collect your thoughts. Alright, you knew she was cute, but since when was she fucking hot? Why the fuck do you want her so badly? You still stubbornly cling to the idea that you do not like her that way, simultaneously fantasizing about how soft and smooth her skin looked, how her lips would feel against yours, the best way to shadily get an arm around her during the movie. You grab the popcorn and rush back into the living room, realizing how long you had been taking, to find Nepeta bent over, examining your movie collection, seemingly lost deep in thought. And with that sight, you could no longer say that you didn't like her that way.

Suddenly she makes a small noise and grabs a movie, straightening up and turning around, studying the case. It's Hitch, you note, one of your favourites. Will Smith would never let you down. His smooth romantic stylings would be sure to help you figure out how to act on these new-found feelings for the girl in your living room. She looks up from the case and notices you with a start. "Karkat, how long have you been standing there?" she asks.

"Oh, uh, not long. Just a few seconds," you stammer, wondering if she's realized you were staring at her ass while she was looking through the movies.

"Well, is Hitch okay fur you? I've not seen it in ages and it's one of my furry favourites!"

"Yeah, of course. It's one of my favourites, too," you reply, relieved that she doesn't seem to have noticed that something was up. You set the popcorn down on the coffee table before taking the disc from her and popping it into the dvd player, grabbing the remote, flipping off the light switch and heading back to the couch. Nepeta sits next to you, and oh god she's so close to you and she smells so good. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, and you're surprised she doesn't hear, cause you swear it's about to fucking explode with the force of an atom bomb.

"Karkat, start the movie!" she whines, and you realize with a start that you'd spaced out for god knows how long, absorbed in the sight of her and her scent. You know that there is no way you're going to be able to make it through this movie with your sanity intact. This was a terrible, terrible idea.

== Nepeta: Arrive

You pull up outside of Karkat's house on the outskirts of the city. It's an old, dilapidated place, with a yellow lawn and peeling paint, and the neighbours' houses are even worse. Your dad shifts uncomfortably, clearly put off by the thought of you being in what was obviously a bad neighbourhood.

"Are you sure this is the right place, sweetie?" he asks nervously.

You check the scrap of paper you'd written his address down on. Sure enough, number 612, on the corner of Pulse Street and Haze Way. "Yeah, daddy. This is the place."

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you being in a neighbourhood like this at night," he tells you, a concerned look on his face.

"Oh, come on. Just because Karkat's pawr doesn't mean something bad is going to happen. I'm sure his door has locks, nothing is going to catpun," you respond, masking the fact that you are harbouring similar concerns. But you know that everything's going to be fine. Worst comes to worst, Karkat will protect you. Of that, you are sure.

You step out of the car before your dad can change his mind about letting you go. He shouts after you to be safe, call him if you need a ride, all that. Your mind is buzzing as you step up to the door and ring the bell. And when he opens the door, your heart skips a beat. There he is, you're actually at his house, and it's just the two of you. He's wearing a simple black t-shirt and blue jeans that are slightly too long for him. He only stands two or three inches taller than you, just enough that you have to look up a bit to look him in the eye. He's stick thin, but his t-shirt exposes arms covered in wiry muscle. You longed to be held in those arms, for him to squeeze you tight and make you feel safe. You look up at him and swallow, your throat suddenly uncomfortably dry. "Hi Karkat!" you say nervously, unable to take your eyes from his.

"Uh, hey. Shit, Nepeta, you didn't need to go and get all dressed up," he growls at you.

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. He doesn't like it. You feel like an idiot, spending so much time working on your outfit, borrowing makeup and perfume from your mom, taking a full hour to fix your hair, only for him to not like it. You should have known. This was just supposed to be two friends watching a movie together, nothing more. You're an idiot for going to all this trouble. "Oh, you don't like it? I just figured I'd try to look kinda nice, you know?" you reply in a quiet voice, wishing you could just disappear.

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Jesus fucking Christ, Nepeta, you look great. I just wasn't expecting it," he blurts quickly. "Come in, come in," he says, taking you by the arm and ushering you inside. His hand is so warm and strong, and you have to fight to resist the urge to tackle him. At least you feel a little better now that you know he doesn't hate how you look and the hours you spent getting ready weren't completely wasted.

His living room is small and sparsely furnished, just a small coffee table, a small set of shelves with a collection of dvd's on it, a small tv sitting on a stand at one wall, and a couch draped in blankets. Despite everything clearly being old and cheap, someone obviously took quite a bit of pride in how the house looked, judging by how clean it was. The floors were practically sparkling. You recall Karkat mentioning that his dad doesn't clean and he didn't have a mom. Did that mean he took care of the house this well all by himself? You couldn't even keep your room clean, much less the whole house.

"Go ahead and pick one out," Karkat says, gesturing at the movies and heading through a door further into the house. "I'm just gonna go grab the popcorn."

You bend over to examine the movies. He had quite the extensive collection, and you notice with a small laugh that they're all in alphabetical order. You never realized Karkat was this neurotic.

Something seems a bit strange about his movie collection, and it takes you a minute to put your finger on it. It is almost exclusively made up of chick flicks. There isn't an action movie in sight, and there are precious few comedies without romance as the central theme. You can't help but laugh again. He always seemed so grumpy; this movie collection did not fit him at all. After much deliberation you settle on Hitch, one of your personal favourites. Grabbing the case, you straighten up and turn around. With a start, you realize Karkat is standing in the doorway holding a large bowl of popcorn, staring at you.

"Karkat, how long have you been there?" you ask, wondering why in the world he would have just been standing there without announcing his presence.

"Oh, uh, not long. Just a few seconds," he stammers, sounding for all the world like someone caught in the act of some crime. But you certainly can't figure out what that crime might be, so you decide to let it go.

"Well, is Hitch okay fur you? I've not seen it in ages and it's one of my furry favourites!" you inquire.

"Yeah, of course. It's one of my favourites, too," he answers, setting the popcorn on the coffee table before taking the disc from you and popping it in the dvd player. He grabs the remote and flips off the lights, and you both settle in on the couch. Your head is absolutely swimming. Karkat Vantas, the boy of your dreams, is sitting not two feet away from you, the lights are out, and you are about to watch a romance movie together. It's all you can do to keep from screaming at the top of your lungs, jumping on him, smothering him with kisses, tearing his clothes off and showing him that you're more than just the weird catgirl from first period English.

You snap out of your reverie, noticing that for some reason, Karkat still hadn't started the movie. You knew for sure that without something to distract you, you'd snap before long. "Karkat, start the movie!" you whine, and he seems a bit startled, as if you'd snapped him out of a fantasy of his own. Karkat sure was acting weird tonight, but damn if he wasn't still the most attractive boy you'd ever met. You know that there is no way you're going to be able to make it through this movie with your sanity intact. This was a terrible, terrible idea.

== Karkat: Focus on the movie

You're trying, god damn it! It's hard, okay? The way she laughs at all the jokes is just so adorable, how the hell are you meant to fucking control yourself? Hoping to distract yourself, you grab the popcorn off the coffee table and start shovelling it in your mouth, attempting to fill your head with the noise of the popcorn crunching, not really tasting it at all. You had hoped the smell of the popcorn would veil her intoxicating scent at least a little bit, but no luck on that front. You must have done something to piss off someone, cause this was one of the worst tortures you could imagine. You can't even pay attention to your favourite movie, and that was really saying something. You're usually so engrossed in this movie that nobody can distract you from it.

You hear Nepeta shift a bit, and before you know it, she's fucking leaning on you. What the fuck!? No, no, you cannot fucking handle this. "I'm cold, Karkat," she says in a quiet voice as you desperately crunch on handful after handful of popcorn. Without a word you set the bowl down, wipe off your hands, and grab one of the blankets draped over the back of the couch. You drape it over the both of you and settle your arm around her without thinking. You feel her stiffen a bit under your arm for a moment before she relaxes, and you start hearing a strange sound coming from her. Is that... purring? Is she really fucking purring? You didn't even realize humans could purr. Fuck, why the fuck does she have to be so god damn adorable? If she does one more thing, you swear you are going to snap.

And there it is. She looks up at you with those big, shiny eyes of hers, and you swear your heart is beating so loudly there's no way she can't hear it, with her head so close to your chest and all. It's dark, but by the light of the tv you can still see how perfectly smooth her skin is, how soft her lips look, how incredibly tempting she is.

Fuck this, you think.

== Nepeta: Focus on the movie

You're trying your best! It's hard, okay? The way he mouths along to his favourite lines is just so adorable, you can't help but giggle. It certainly doesn't help that it seems every line is one of his favourite lines. How the hell are you supposed to resist someone so perfect?

You shiver a bit. His house doesn't seem to have heating, and your dress doesn't exactly keep in the warmth very well. You glance over at Karkat, and he seems to be completely engrossed in the film, crunching on handful after handful of popcorn. You giggle to yourself a little bit at how adorable he was. You wonder if you could just kinda lean over and use him for heat. You think that that might be going a little too far. After all, this is just two friends watching a friendly movie together as friends. Platonically. On the other hand, you're sure that it's perfectly acceptable friendly behaviour to cuddle a little bit. And that's all you're planning on doing. You're just going to cuddle him a little bit and warm up, and you're going to focus on the movie.

You just kinda lean over and use him for heat. You lay your head on his chest and you can hear his heart beat. It seems a bit louder than it should be. You wonder if everything's alright. He seems to be eating the popcorn louder and faster than he had been before as well. He was practically shovelling it down his throat. Maybe it was because you were leaning on him. Were you making him uncomfortable? You should explain yourself, that might help.

"I'm cold, Karkat," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. He suddenly leans over and sets the popcorn down, wipes his hands off, and grabs a blanket from off the back of the couch. Before you can react, the blanket is over the both of you, and oh my god his arm is wrapped around you. Holy shit. Was this really happening? You think as you go stiff, shocked out of your mind. Even if it isn't, it's just about the nicest thing you can imagine, another thought responds, and you relax into his chest again. You feel so incredibly safe and warm, you are in a state of utter bliss. You start to purr without noticing it. It was an odd habit you'd had ever since you were little and you would cuddle and play with your cat all day every day.

This moment was perfect. Well, almost perfect. You could think of one thing that would make it better. You look up into Karkat's eyes, imagining what it must be like to kiss him. You feel his strong arms around you, his chest as solid as a rock, hear his heart beating like a drum.

Fuck this, you think.

== Karkat: Snap

That's it, you can't take this anymore. You pull her up to you and press your lips to hers savagely, clumsily, tasting her mouth and breathing in her scent, and it feels so good. You don't care if both of you are awful, clumsy kissers and neither of you have any idea what the hell you're doing, you need this. After a moment of surprise she kisses you back with just as much force, and in a moment she's on top of you, you're lying down on the couch and she's on top of you and you're kissing her and nothing exists but her. You knew she liked you, but you never expected her to be so forceful, considering how she had always skirted around the subject before. You can't say the surprise is unpleasant. No, you do believe there's never been a more pleasant sensation than her straddling you, kissing you, and what the fuck was that, did she just bite you? Still kissing you, she had decided to start biting your bottom lip. She was biting hard, hard enough for it to sting, but not enough to draw blood.

You liked it.

You withdraw from the kiss for a moment, catch your breath, and lean back in. Maybe, since she was biting you, that meant she wanted you to bite her? You decide to try it, and move down to bite her neck. You're a bit nervous, not wanting to hurt her, but remembering how good it felt on you is enough to spur you on. You bite into her, and suddenly she makes a noise, a noise somewhere between a moan and a purr, and you take that to mean you had done well. You lean back, and just take in the sight of her on top of you. She is so beautiful. Even with her makeup smudged by the ferocity of the kissing and her hair dishevelled, she is so, so beautiful.

During your pause she seems to regain some modicum of control, and immediately looks incredibly embarrassed. "I- I'm sorry about that, Karkat-"she begins, before you cut her off with another kiss.

"What the fuck are you sorry for? I'm the one that kissed you, you fucking idiot," you say, looking up at her.

A faint smile appears on her face. "Hee hee, I guess you did," she replies, leaning down so close your mouths are nearly touching again. "Hey Karkat, does this mean we're going out now?"

You can feel her breath on your face as she says it, and you move your face up to kiss her just as she finishes her sentence. "What the fuck do you think?" you ask, going back in for more kisses. This was a wonderful, wonderful idea.