Disclaimer: JAG is property of Donald P. Bellisario. I'm only borrowing.

III

Mac slept dreamlessly for the first time in months.

When Harm nudged her awake, it was past ten in the evening. She blinked up at him, dazed. She couldn't remember falling asleep, but she must have; her head was on his lap, her feet propped up on the arm of the couch.

"Hey," she said drowsily, rubbing her eyes. "Why didn't you wake me earlier?"

He shrugged. "I like watching you sleep. And you looked like you could use it."

Slowly, she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, snuggling against his side. He wrapped his arm around her, his hand on her hip. After making her the promised lunch, they'd had a lazy afternoon, talking about everything and nothing. They'd ordered pizza for dinner, and she recalled finishing her side of it—then nothing. She felt better than she had in weeks, months really.

"Yeah," she murmured. "You're probably right." She buried her face in his shoulder, drawing his scent into her lungs.

So good.

"I hope I didn't drool on your lap."

He chuckled. "Just a little. It was adorable."

Mac smacked his chest, smiling.

"You know what?" he said, in a soft voice. "I can't remember when I last saw you smile before today."

"I didn't have a lot of things worth smiling for," she whispered. She slid her hand under his shirt, placing her palm over his heart. She didn't know why she loved the feeling of his heart beating against her hand so much. She found the steady, never-ceasing thu-thud thu-thud thu-thud soothing.

"I know." Lifting up her chin, he kissed her. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she reminded him. "It's mine. I should have given you more time." Some things, she knew now, were worth waiting for.

"I pushed you away," Harm said softly. "And you were right. I had no right to ask you to wait for me forever." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I thought you were happy. I thought you'd moved on. I thought he was what you wanted."

She'd thought so too. She'd wanted to believe that she was in love with him. Perhaps she had been. But she'd never felt about him the way she felt about Harm, and she should have ended it when she realised that she wouldn't be able to let go. And she had realised that, very early on. But she'd refused to accept it and so she'd pushed it away, pretending that she didn't have feelings for another man.

"If I hadn't crashed, would you've gone through with it?"

And there it was. The question she'd asked herself a million times.

Mac dropped her gaze. "I don't know," she whispered. "Probably. But I don't think it would have lasted." The only reason she'd accepted his ring was because she'd known he'd walk out on her if she didn't. I didn't want to be alone. That wasn't the right reason for marrying someone, but she'd been afraid that if she let him go, she'd never be able to move on.

Harm didn't reply. He simply held her, stroking her head, and she let her thoughts drift. She didn't want to think about this now. She wanted to enjoy the moment, revel in what she had gained. This was no time for regrets.

She closed her eyes, the warmths of his embrace making her drowsy.

It had been a long day.

"Let's go to bed," she heard him say, his voice coming from far away.

He scooped her up and cradled her against his chest, carrying her to his bedroom and setting her down on the bed. She struggled to get her jeans and shirt off and by the time she had finished, he'd already crawled into bed beside her. She pressed against his warm body as he snaked his arms around her, his breath warm on the back of her neck.

"Mac?" he said quietly as he switched off the light, and for once the darkness that enveloped her wasn't the lonely darkness of her bedroom.

"What?" Sleepily.

For a moment, he was silent. Then he brought his lips to her ear. "I love you."

It was no more than a whisper, but she'd heard. She turned and slid her arms around him, hugging him fiercely, her heart suddenly to small to contain the hurricane of emotions within. "I love you too."