A/N This last and final chapter of EF is a long time coming. I wasn't quite sure how to end it and finally got some inspiration in the last few days. This one is a rather long read. I thought about splitting it into two separate chapters, but decided against it. I hope that's okay. The whole fic was very fun to write and I appreciated all the feedback from everyone who wrote it. Thanks to Amy for a great idea she gave to use in the story. Amazing I tell ya.

I don't own Person of Interest or any of its characters. Enjoy this last one. (I'm gonna miss this fic!)

Finch, Reese and Leon all emerged from the warehouse a mere minute before it exploded. They took cover behind the old beat up white van they arrived in, as debris and ash fell down around them. They stayed crouched to the ground, as the fire died down and smoke billowed from the destroyed structure and Finch stared at Reese, his expression unreadable right now.

Leon was the first to utter a word, a throaty laugh erupted from him and he stood to his feet clapping his hands, a huge grin on his face. His glee after what had happened annoyed Reese who got up and helped Finch to stand.

"You did it, man. You did it again. You are amazing!" Leon exclaimed, patting Reese on the shoulder.

"Leon do you think it's humanly possible for you to stay out of trouble? This is the third time in less than a year." Reese dusted off his coat, removing dust particles from the lapel. Leon looked at Reese almost apologetically noting the cut on his lip and a bruised cheek, but he was determined to stay in a good mood.

"Next time I promise to be more careful. This is the last you'll hear from me, I promise. Can I have my money now?" He asked, hand extended, looking from Reese to Finch.

Reese looked at Finch with vacant eyes and pressed his lips together. Finch handed Leon a small satchel which he quickly unzipped, gleefully happy to see his money still inside, untouched. "That'll teach Winston. He won't underestimate me again."

"Goodbye Leon." Reese said tapping him on the chest, a little harder than necessary. "Finch."

They both watched him walk off. Leon was puzzled.

"Hey don't you want a ride home?" He screamed after Reese who kept walking and didn't turn around to respond. "Hey, what's up with your friend?" He asked Finch.

"What do you mean Mr. Tao?"

"I don't know. I guess you're used to it, but he seems a bit more subdued than normal. Something behind his eyes…."

Finch knew exactly what Leon was referring to. It had been approximately four months since Reese had been out of Rikers, and though everything else was business as usual, John wasn't. He was mechanical in his interactions, it was almost as if he'd disconnected somehow. He wasn't a highly emotional person, but every quip, sarcastic remark, conversation, felt empty, hollow since he'd been released. He wondered at his state of mind after being incarcerated, but Reese had insisted that he was fine.

Harold doubted it, however. He also noted that he'd distanced himself from Detective Carter. He left all of the contact and communication to Harold when it came to her. He assumed he felt some sort of guilt over her having to risk so much to ensure his release. Maybe he felt he had to protect her somehow. Whatever it was, it hadn't gotten in the way of them helping the numbers, not yet. So he didn't feel it needed to be addressed at the moment.

"I think Mr. Reese should be the least of your worries. What you need to figure out is how you plan to hide Mr. Bevan's money."

They both climbed into the van and Leon started the engine.

"Oh, don't you worry, I have a plan. As for your friend, I think he takes himself too seriously. Maybe he needs a date. I dated this girl once named Candy….."

"Good morning, Finch…." It was just after 6am when his phone rang and he picked it up quickly so it wouldn't disturb Joss. She lay snuggled against him, head on his chest and her beautiful skin was a warm contrast next to his. The sunrise crept into his loft casting a warm glow over them both. He ran his hand lightly along her bare back smiling at her as she stirred a bit.

"Mr. Reese, we have a new number."

"I'll be there soon." Reese hung up the phone and looked over at Joss as she slept. He hated having to leave her, but there was work to do. He planted a soft kiss on her shoulder before heading for the shower.

He heard Finch's voice in his ear remembering a conversation they had just a few weeks ago. They were in the library discussing a new number.

"Is everything all right, Mr. Reese?"

"I'm fine Finch."

"Are you sure? It's probably a little late to be asking since you've been out of Rikers for a few months, but…I've noticed you seem….stressed…."

"Stressed?"

"…..for lack of a better word, yes."

"Stressed…..after what happened at Rikers, right now stressed is an understatement Finch, but I'm working through it. Thanks for asking."

Working with Kara he'd done many horrible things. Things that would have broken the average man. But he wasn't average and he'd never given a thought to how those horrible things made him feel. Feelings were a non factor. They had no place in his world, his life or his job.

But this new life of his was different. This wasn't a war zone. He wasn't behind enemy lines, this was New York. But finding a middle ground between how he was used to acting with Kara and how he should act now wasn't easy.

The hot water ran over his body and his muscles welcomed the heat. He lathered himself with soap, hating that he was washing Joss' scent off of him. Memories of yesterday and the night before ran through his mind.

He'd stayed away from her for ten months. It was one of the most difficult things he'd ever done. He'd felt different after Rikers and not for the better. He was free of prison; free of Donnelly, but a part of him was still trapped somewhere between the interrogation room at the prison and later on by the pier when he'd gone to see Carter. He couldn't seem to move on from there.

He'd watched her afterwards, he was sure Finch was aware, but they'd never spoken of it. He even followed her a few times. He watched her at home, spending time with Taylor, sometimes at a crime scene with Fusco. He listened to audio of her from the doll cam on Fusco's desk and watched her while she worked. But it hadn't been enough.

Sometimes he thought he waited too long to contact her after Donnelly had gone, but a part of him was afraid to compromise her. When he'd heard her talking about her offer from the FBI to join them, he felt a sudden urgency. He had to see her, had to be near her. Had to know if she really wanted to leave after all.

Now she was half asleep in his bed curled under his sheets and they'd spent the last day and a half pouring themselves into each other, with words and without. Every pent up emotion he'd held in was spent inside her.

Now what?

He didn't know.

Things had changed. Undeniably so. Things could never be the same again.

He didn't want her to leave.

He needed her in his life.

But what could he give her truly? He pondered that question wondering if he was good enough.

Was he good enough for her?

Was he good enough for Taylor?

He stepped out from under the shower and grabbed a towel getting out of the tub. He dried himself off and brushed his teeth. When he got out of the bathroom he saw that she was awake now, watching him as he walked across the floor to sit beside her on the bed.

"Good morning." He said, and bent down to kiss her neck. His wet hair dripped a little onto her skin and she squealed, but put her arms around his shoulders and back, hugging him.

"Good morning, John." She said, her voice was still tinged with sleep. "You smell good."

"Hmmm….so do you." he said kissing her forehead. "I've got to go."

"A new case?" She asked and he nodded. "I figured." She said and sat up straight, the sheet falling to her waist and he took in the sight of her.

"You're not making it easy for me to leave, Joss." He smiled as she pulled the sheet up to cover herself with a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not." He replied. "I'd love for you to be here when I get back." She smiled and his eyes were transfixed on her mouth, the lovely curve, her plump bottom lip and the way her cheekbones formed into perfect round apples.

"I don't know, John. I need to go home and change and besides….you have no idea when you actually will be back."

He got up, walking over to his wardrobe and took out his underwear and socks and started to get dressed. She sat and watched him and drew her knees under her chin, resting her head on them, fascinated by his movements; how he slid into his boxer briefs, putting on his socks one by one, his shirt, and pants, and then his shoes.

He walked over to her and she knelt on the bed. She smoothed the lapel of his jacket and looked up at him.

"I'll call you." he kissed the very tip of her nose and she nodded as he walked out. He heard her chuckle softly as he slipped outside the door.

Carter lay down for a few more minutes, thinking how good John's bed felt. She felt so at home there and didn't want to leave. She smiled at his comment about her being there when he returned. She lay back for a minute, wiggling her toes and decided she'd take him up on his offer.

The bed, its sheets and pillows put up a valiant fight, but she eventually got up and headed for the bathroom. She lathered up the soap, feeling the warm water on her skin and relaxed. She looked around and her eyes rested on the shower caddy in front of her. She saw something familiar, but….

"It couldn't be…." She reached out and grabbed a small bottle of….. "Jasmine. 'Alicia's Jasmine'." She shook her head and smiled. "John…." It was the very brand of jasmine that she used in her bath water and the shower. She didn't even try to guess how he knew which one she used but it made her feel a little special knowing he'd gone out of his way to find out.

He was so good at remembering the little things. It was certainly one of his best qualities. And there were many. He'd most likely deny that there was any good left in him, but she'd witnessed time and again, that that part of him wasn't lost at all.

So he knew about her offer from the bureau. He hadn't answered when she asked him what he thought she should do last night. She truly wanted his opinion; she needed to know where his head was at concerning them. But she had other things to consider.

Would Taylor want to leave school? Their family, his friends? How much would he be affected by such a move?

She knew she'd have to tell him about the offer right away. He deserved a say in her decision since it affected him too. She just stepped out of the tub when her cell phone rang. She picked it up checking the caller ID.

Unknown number.

Only two people regularly called her from a blocked number.

"Hello, John" she practically purred his name, a wide smile on her face.

"I wondered if you'd gone back to sleep."

"Naw. I just got outta the shower. I'm about to head home though."

"Before you leave, there's a key on the nightstand you might want to take with you. You know…..just in case you wanted to come back later on."

She walked over to it and picked up the lone key, holding it up between two fingers. A spare key was normally a big deal. But she didn't know if he meant it to be one just yet.

"John….."

"I have to go, Joss. We'll talk when I get back." he said, his voice soft and reassuring.

"Ok." She said hanging up and started to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later she was out the door and walking out of his building. Another twenty minutes later, she was getting out of the back of a cab and walking up the steps to her front door. She got undressed and put on some comfortable shorts and a tank top. After putting her hair into a messy ponytail and putting her dress away, she turned on some music and did a little housework.

She talked to Taylor and her mother again. They were enjoying themselves thoroughly and Taylor wasn't quite ready to come home. They'd only been gone for two days and she missed having her baby at home, hanging out with him in the evenings and on Sundays when she had them off. She was looking forward to seeing him when he finally got back. She said her goodbyes and got off the phone, deciding that she'd head back to John's place early, maybe fix dinner for when he returned.

She walked into her room to pack an overnight bag. She threw in some underwear, a change of clothes for the evening and something to wear on Monday morning and afternoon. She opened her lingerie drawer and rummaged through it. It was filled to the brim with assorted teddies, thongs, nightgowns, baby dolls, even peignoirs, but she hadn't felt the need to wear any of them for a long time. The poor items were basically collecting dust. She picked up a rich burgundy fabric and held up a teddy in her hand. There was lace over the bust and in front and sheer fabric on the sides and in back. It really left little to the imagination. She decided to throw it in. Maybe she'd even wear it tonight.

She was about to close the drawer when something caught her eye. She slid her hand back inside and pulled out the old photo of John and Jessica together. His smile was bright, reaching his eyes, their shoulders and arms touching. He looked so happy, and so did she. They looked like the perfect couple. Made for each other.

She'd almost forgotten that she had it. She sat down heavily on the bed, staring at it in her hand and pressed her lips together. She always kept it and planned to give it to him eventually. The timing however never seemed right. It had been almost three years now since her death but John had been living in Jessica's shadow the entire time. Would she now have to do the same?

"Detective, John needs our help. I lost contact with him a short while ago and I need you to go and find him."

She'd gotten the call from Finch fifteen minutes ago and now she was walking towards an abandoned warehouse, her gun drawn, slowly walking inside. It was dark outside the building. No cars were parked out front or in the back. As far as she could tell, the place was empty. She shone her flashlight in the short hallway till she got to the large area in back.

Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she heard a muffled sound to her far left. She swung round quickly and the flashlight picked up the sight of a man bound tightly to a chair, a gag in his mouth. Walking closer she recognized John's face and quickly moved to untie him. His eyes showed relief at the sight of her.

"I see you got tied up." She said removing the gag from his mouth.

"Actually I was thinking we could play a little game till the bad guys came back."

"Interesting idea for foreplay John. You wanna stay in that chair?" She asked pausing with the rope held up in her hands.

His phone rang then and he answered it while putting an arm around her shoulder. "Finch, yeah I'm okay. Carter's here. Where's the girl?" They both walked outside together and to her car. Reese slid into the driver's seat while Carter got in on the passenger's side.

"She's with Detective Fusco right now at the precinct."

"And Damian?"

"Shot while he was trying to pursue them both."

"Good. You can tie up the other loose ends can't you?"

"Yes, I can handle it from here, Mr. Reese."

He disconnected the call and let out a sigh. "Thanks." He said looking at her while he started the engine. She nodded her head and they drove back to his place.

Reese took his jacket off, and walked into the kitchen opening the fridge. He got out a beer taking a long drink from the bottle and looked around noticing the dinner she cooked which was now cold.

"Sorry about dinner. It looks like it was good." He said putting the bottle down and pulling her towards him as he leaned on the counter.

"Didn't get a chance to eat it though. Finch called as a soon as I was done."

"Thanks again for coming to the rescue."

"You're welcome." She said looking up at him. He smiled down at her.

"Just like old times." His choice of words made her think of the photograph again. He took her hand leading her over to the couch and he sat down pulling her onto his lap.

"Speaking of old times…..you didn't answer me last night, when I asked what you thought of my job offer."

"I think that….you're an excellent Detective and you'd make a damn good FBI agent, Joss. I think it'd be a great opportunity for you, career wise. If it's what you want, you should seriously consider it."

"That's an incredibly politically correct response John. Thank you. But I need to know what you really think."

She hated that he was so suddenly quiet. His gaze was intense and she could tell he wanted to say something, but he wouldn't. She shook her head and got up from his lap and walked over to the window.

"John…the last few days…me and you…..it's been beautiful. And I wouldn't take it back for anything."

"Neither would I."

"Rikers was….intense, it was emotional…..it was …like nothing I can describe. What happened in that interrogation room was deeply personal, I mean….hell I felt like I needed you as much as you needed me."

"I know."

"But see, is that what this is? Is this just all those feelings that were bottled up after Rikers? After us not seeing each other for so long? Is that really all this is?"

"What are you asking me?" his hand was on her shoulder, but she couldn't look at him.

"I'm saying that I feel more for you than friendship, it's deeper than that. But maybe after we both come down from this high…maybe you wouldn't mind if things went back to being 'just like old times'."

"Joss….."

"…You and Finch working together and Fusco and I helping you two out, like nothing ever happened…..maybe that's what you want?"

She looked into his eyes finally, scared of what she might find there.

"I don't. I don't want that. We can never go back to the way things were before. Too much has changed between us." He slipped his hand in the back of her neck. His touch so warm there, she almost felt like abandoning this conversation, but she knew they needed to have it.

"And what about Jessica?"

"What does she have to do with this?"

She walked over to the bed and took the photo out of her overnight bag, handing it to him. She watched as his eyes moved over it, and she knew he was replaying that day in his mind, that moment and how he had felt. His eyes became clouded, dark and reminiscent.

He was on leave. He'd just come back to the US and she came to meet him at the base. He'd picked her up off her feet and kissed her. He remembered her squeals of delight at seeing him again and the grip of her arms around his shoulders. They'd gone out for something to eat and she insisted on ordering those ridiculous fruity drinks for them. Their waiter had taken the picture.

"How long have you had this?" He asked quietly.

"Around the same time Marshall Jennings went missing. Now seemed like the right time to give it to you."

"Joss…" He saw the expression on her face and sighed. "I know what you're thinking. I was lost for a long time. I probably would've been dead a long time ago, if Finch hadn't found me. I felt like I had nothing to live for. But things are different now. I'm different." He held the photo up in his hand and both of them stared at it together. "I'm not the same person I was in this photo." He said and walked over to the coffee table and set the photo face down on top of it. He walked back over to her, and put his hands on her arms. "And you've been a big part of that. You are a big part of that."

"I just…"

"Come here." He said pulling her close to him. His fingers brushed the back of her neck and his thumbs grazed her cheeks. "Come here." He said and bent his head down, brushing his lips against hers. Her hands went around his back and she forgot about leaving for the moment. His kiss turned hard, and he sucked at her lips, darting his tongue between them, sliding it against her own tongue.

"Stay with me tonight, Joss. Please. Don't go home." His voice was rasping and his lips were soft, pressed to her cheek, her neck, then on her lips again. She felt herself surrendering to his request. She couldn't deny him. Her own body demanded she stay.

"Okay." She said nodding.

"I need you." He said pulling her into his arms. "I need you."

His hands were busy undoing the buttons on her shirt and he paused at the flash of colour underneath. She was wearing the teddy.

"What's this?" his eyebrows were raised and he pulled her shirt over her arms. "A little something to go with dinner I guess." His smile was toothy, and his fingers continued their work.

Her head cocked to the side as he finished undressing her, and he stepped back taking in the sight of her. She could tell he was pleased. His hands traced the path of the lace; his palms moved over her breasts, down her stomach and then rested on her hips.

It had only been two days since they'd first been intimate and already she craved his touch. What was she to do?

Just as he'd undressed her, she returned the favour, taking off his shirt and jacket at first, then his pants, till he was standing before her in his underwear.

Their clothing lay discarded on the ground as they lay in bed with their limbs intertwined. As passionate as he'd been before, this time he was sensual. His fingers felt like the soft tips of a feather along her skin. His tongue and mouth like silk folding and unfolding over her body.

Their moans were deep, their breath shallow, hot, quick. He uttered her name, deep in his throat as he sank into her; the solitary syllable sounded like it was being dragged over hot gravel. She grabbed hungrily, desperately at him. Each stroke was filling, deep, strong and he pounded into her with such need, and she felt him all the way to the nerve endings in her scalp.

She felt he was trying to communicate to her what he couldn't in words. She felt swallowed up by him, consumed by his passion. Later as she was snuggled tightly against him, a feeling of complete contentment passed over her just before she fell asleep for the first time in six months.

She found herself on the other side of the bed in the middle of the night. Having noticed her absence from his arms, Reese moved closer to her, pulling her to his chest. His arm settled around her stomach and he seemed to fall back to sleep quickly.

She woke up the next morning before he did. She had planned to stay until evening, but she looked at his sleeping form beside her and decided to leave. She got dressed quickly and left closing the door softly behind her.

TWO WEEKS LATER

"Not that one Taylor baby. You know we don't eat that." Carter shook her head when Taylor was putting the wrong brand of whole wheat bread into their shopping cart.

"Amazing you can name all the characters in a Halo game but you can't pick out something as simple as a loaf of bread. Make sure to get two, you run through food like you've been starving on an island alone for years."

"What's got you so grumpy today Jocelyn?" Carter rolled her eyes at her mother's question. She was right though, she was irritated and wanted to hurry up and get out of the store.

"I don't know mom. I guess I just got a lot on my mind." She picked up some fruit out of the produce section, glad to see they had some cherries and picked up a bag.

"Still haven't decided what you want to do about the FBI offer I take it."

"No, I haven't."

"What has Taylor said?"

"Not much. And he hasn't wanted to discuss it at all really."

"How long is the training for again?"

"Twenty weeks and I'd be living on campus. I told Taylor he could stay with you while I'm training. But I don't like the idea of leaving him behind, not seeing him when I wanted to."

"Not to mention you're not sure where you'd be assigned when you're done."

"Right."

"Twenty weeks is a long time Jocelyn. It'd be almost like you being deployed again. He was young when you were away in Iraq and Afghanistan, so your absence didn't hurt him terribly. He's already lost his father, he's got me, but you're his mother. You're all he has. Five months away from him now though….I don't know."

Carter paused in the middle of picking up some eggs, an exasperated look on her face.

"You're just gonna break me down in the middle of the grocery store aren't you? You're doing it to me…a grown woman, mom." She shook her head as Taylor got back, still with the wrong loaf of bread.

She smiled at him. "Baby…..you tried."

She pushed the cart further up the aisle listening to her mother uttering under her breath.

"FBI? FBI? That boy needs a father figure in his life right now. A career can't keep you warm at night Jocelyn, you need a man."

"I can hear you, mom."

"I know you can."

Carter lifted the collar of her coat and pushed her hands into her pockets. She stood underneath the Queens Bridge and looked out over the water while she waited. Tiny streaks of light started to bounce over it and she thought nothing looked more beautiful.

She heard a car pull up and a door open and shut. Pretty soon she heard footsteps in the back of her and the shuffle of someone with a limp. She turned her head as Finch came to stand beside her.

"Sorry about the cold Detective. I'll pick an indoor place next time." He said, his lips upturned with a small smile.

"I forgive you Finch. She handed him the file that was tucked inside her coat. "Here's the info you wanted."

He opened it, looking it over. And they both turned as another car door opened and closed behind them. Carter's heart momentarily stopped as Reese walked towards them. Apparently he'd come with Finch, but he stayed in the car while he was on a call.

"Detective." He greeted her.

"John." She said. This was only the second time she'd seen him in the two weeks since she'd left his place. And the other time was case related, just like this one. Although this one was accidental.

They finished up discussing the new case they were working on and Finch turned to leave, heading back to the car.

"You know when you said you needed time to think, I didn't know you really meant you wanted time away from me."

"It's not what you think, John."

"I haven't seen you in two weeks. You've gone out of your way to avoid my calls. I'm wondering if you're simply avoiding me."

"I'm not. I'm just…..trying to decide what's best…for everybody. And I just need some time. That's all."

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to reach out and take his hand, but Finch was waiting and watching.

"Time's running out." He said.

In more ways than one, she thought and she watched him get in the car next to Finch and they drove off.

"What is it Taylor, baby?" Carter asked. They were having dinner at home, but he'd been quiet all evening. "You wanna talk about it?"

He shrugged.

"Come on, spill it."

"Are you going to take the job with the FBI?"

"I haven't decided yet, why?"

"I don't want you to go. I know it'll be good for your career, but I feel like this is our home. We belong here."

"Is that right?" She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. Besides I'm doing well in school and I don't want to leave. I know if I wanted to, you'd probably let me stay here with grandma, but I don't think we should split up either. I don't want us to. I need you here with me mom."

Once he said his piece, he went back to his meal like he just took the weight of the world off of his shoulders.

She lay in bed thinking of Reese. He said he wasn't the same person in the photo with Jessica and she believed him. She'd seen a lot of differences in him since their meeting in Lyric Diner when she first started working with him.

He told her that she'd been a part of the change in him. But how truly ready he was to move on from Jessica? She watched his face when she gave him the photo. The emotions that played across his face felt like a confirmation that things weren't quite over.

She reached for her cell phone on the nightstand next to the bed and started dialing his number. She changed her mind, setting it down on the bed. She rolled over, switching the lamp off and tried to go to sleep.

SATURDAY 4:35PM

'Holy Sepulchre Cemetery'

The large letters wrought in iron greeted John at the entrance of the graveyard and the crucifix at the centre of the banner seemed imposing. He was in New Rochelle, the first time he'd been back since his confrontation with Peter Arndt all those years ago.

He clutched the bouquet of white lilies in his hand as he made his way to Jessica's plot. He stared at the headstone with a baby cherub atop it and looked at her name in bold Old English lettering. He let out a ragged breath and his eyes filled with tears.

When the nurse told him that Jessica had died his life had instantly changed. Even after he'd broken into her home and fought with Peter he couldn't bring himself to visit her grave.

Almost three years later and he felt that it was time.

He bent down to rest the lilies in front of the headstone and reached out to run a gloved hand over the marble.

"I'm sorry Jessica. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't get there in time." The tears began to sting his eyes and he allowed them to fall. He realized he was asking her for forgiveness, something he had wanted to do for years after they first broke up. Now she could never give it.

Or maybe she had.

Maybe he was the one who needed to forgive himself.

Carter's words from their meeting after he got out of Rikers echoed in his ears.

"There's a lot of good in you. You are still a good man."

He felt he had much to pay for, but the burden was getting too heavy for him. He finally realized in that moment that it was one he shouldn't carry anymore. He took out the photo of the two of them that Carter gave him. His hands shook while he held it.

"I have to leave you here, honey. I can't carry you with me anymore." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small trowel he brought with him and dug a small hole in front of the headstone just deep enough for the picture to go in. He closed his eyes and put it to his lips, then put it into the ground, covering it forever.

He stood up finally, taking his gloves off and wiping his face with a handkerchief. He found himself smiling as he thought of Carter.

"She's a good woman Jessica. I think you'd like her." He put a hand to his mouth, kissing it, and then touched the top of the headstone before turning away.

Reese got back from New Rochelle about forty minutes later. He went back to the library for a brief moment to check on Bear and spent a couple of minutes talking to Finch. There were no new numbers that evening, so he decided to get himself something to eat and head home.

He rode the elevator with Pad Thai take out in his hands. It was Carter's favourite he thought absently as well as Taylor's. He hadn't realized it at the time, or maybe he had but he wound up in her favourite restaurant too, ordering her usual.

He missed her, he thought as he got out of the elevator. It had been too long since he'd seen her and he knew she asked for time, but he couldn't stand the waiting any longer. He switched the bags to his right hand and turned the key in the lock opening it. He walked in closing the door behind him and sensed that somebody was there.

He turned around quickly, about to reach for his gun when he saw Carter coming out of the kitchen.

"Hi." She said and walked toward him. She looked nervous almost as she looked up at him.

"Hi. He said as she reached for the bags.

"Here, let me help you with that." They walked into the kitchen together and she unpacked the containers, putting them on the island. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here." She said.

Truthfully he didn't want to question why, he was just happy that she was there.

"I wanted to thank you." she continued.

"For what?"

"For being patient with me. I shouldn't have shut you out. I said I needed time to think which was true, but I didn't mean to push you away like I did." She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and he was the one who was grateful she had been patient with him. He'd taken a long time to get here.

She slid her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." He said hoarsely. "I missed you a lot."

She looked up at him grinning and put her arm around his neck as she stood on her toes to kiss him. "I missed you too John."

"I got Pad Thai for dinner. Of course I had no idea you'd be stopping by but there's plenty for the two of us." He watched as she took up some of the food for them and they sat on the couch enjoying the meal.

They made small talk late into the night and he was glad to hear the sound of her laughter fill the open space of the loft once more. He missed her smiles, the curve of her lips, her cheeks, and the twinkle in her eye. He missed the sound of her voice, the way she dragged his name when she said it. Everything about her was precious to him.

He wondered if she had made up her mind yet.

"So have you come to a decision?"

"I've thought about it a lot. It's been on my mind practically every minute of every day. Taylor doesn't want me to go; he doesn't want to leave his school and his friends. My mother thinks I should pass on the offer too. I think it's a great opportunity, but I like my life here in New York, and I think…..I think I'd miss everybody too much."

"Everyone?" He said.

"You know John; it's occurred to me that…everyone has been trying to convince me to stay except you. Besides Fusco, you're the only one who's told me to go. I think that's what had me confused." She held her palm up to his face and he closed his eyes leaning into it. "What do you want, John? Really."

"You." He said looking her straight in the eye. "I want you, Joss. I don't want you to leave. I felt like I shouldn't want that. I shouldn't be selfish and say that, but, I want you to stay for me. Not for Taylor, or…your mom…..or because you can't leave this city. Stay. Stay for me."

He pulled her onto his lap then, hanging on her neck, his arms grasping at her, and there was desperation in his voice when he spoke again.

"I can't take it….if you leave. I need you here…..with me, Joss." He pressed his lips onto hers and sighed raggedly as her arms went around his neck.

It felt so good to have her back in his arms again. He had needed this; he had needed her for weeks. He wasted no time getting them both undressed and he pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. He kissed the hollow of her neck, the soft valley between her breasts. And he enjoyed the sweet sensation of her tongue moving passionately over his as she slid up and down the length of his cock. She ground herself against him and his fingers dug into the flesh of her bottom each time she moved.

His head was on the back of the chair, she was biting on his neck, her lips raked over every mark she made. Inside she felt like heaven. His hands roamed over her thighs, his fingers twisted her nipples and he was treated to his name being dragged over her tongue and lips.

He gripped her butt lifting her up and lay on top of her on the couch. With her leg raised over his back, he pounded into her till they both came to release and she held onto him screaming her orgasm as he bit at her bottom lip.

"Stay." He panted. "Stay, Joss."

Later on in the middle of the night they lay together in his bed and he was enjoying the light touch of her hand as she moved it across his face gently.

"Something changed, John. What happened?" She asked quietly.

"I went to New Rochelle. I went to Jessica's grave."

"Are you okay?" She asked and he pulled her hand into his own linking their fingers.

"Yes. I needed to say goodbye. I needed to move on. I needed to forgive myself."

"John…." She moved to kiss him.

"She was very important to me for a long time. But you're the one who's important to me now."

She smiled at him in the dark and kissed him again. "John…...would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Joss."

"Tell me about her. About Jessica."

"Well…we met when I was in…."

Fusco looked at Carter as she packed up her desk. Her shift was done and she had to hurry home.

"So you're really turning it down. The FBI offer I mean."

"Yes I am Fusco. I got a better offer here actually."

"Whatever you say, Carter. Hey where you running off to?"

"I have a date as a matter of fact. I'll see you tomorrow Fusco."

An hour later she was in her kitchen at home. A roast was in the oven, white rice was on the stove and she was making a garden salad. There was a knock on her door and she walked out front. John was on her doorstep, a sheepish look on his face. He had a bottle of wine in one hand and a cake box in the other.

"Come inside." She said and he bent down to kiss her before following her into the kitchen. "Dinner should be ready in another hour. And Taylor should be home soon."

"Something smells good."

"Roast. I hope you like it." She turned to look at him. "Just look at you. You took down ten guys in four minutes and you're scared to meet a teenager."

"Well I had training on how to do all that. This is a whole different ball game. And he's not just a teenager, he's your son. So I have to make a good impression."

"You already did when you saved his life actually." She said and her head turned in the direction of the door when she heard Taylor knocking. She shook her head.

"He must have left his key again. You wanna get that for me, John?"

"If you insist." He said, with a half smile.

"Don't worry. He's gonna fall in love with you. Just like I did." She added and didn't miss the meaningful look in his eye before he went to let Taylor in.

They both greeted each other and Taylor poked his head in the kitchen to say hello.

"We've got company for dinner. You remember John right? Go wash up and get ready."

John walked toward her in the kitchen after he heard Taylor's door swing shut. He pinned her against the counter. "Now that was a sneaky way of sharing that information with me." His lips grazed her neck.

"It just sort of came out. But I meant it."

His lips came down on hers softly and she smiled up at him.

"You do?" He asked and she nodded. "Good. I love you too."