Disclaimer: Hetalia and its characters do not belong to me - unfortunately - they belong to their respective creator/owner.
Author Note: The last chapter! It's been a long ride (mainly because I lost interest in the story) but I promised myself I would never leave a story unfinished (even if I have to delete it to keep that promise) so I struggled through and wrote this. Enjoy and leave feedback!

Assignment 8

Colin drummed his fingers on the table-top in his apartment. The night was young and he was a legible bachelor with his whole life ahead of him.

So why...!

"Argh!" He thumped his forehead with his fist and continued to sit in the kitchen. He couldn't stop thinking about how unusual his job was, or, more to the point, how unusual his employer was. And his employers friends. All this time, he had continued thinking they were weird just because they were "high profile" and that was just how some high profile people were – music artists, other famous people...probably some politicians... The point was that Colin went along with it because some important people are just...eccentric.

But this... No, this wasn't just being eccentric; this wasn't being weird, or being secretive; this was something way beyond him and he couldn't let it go. Which was why he was up at seven o'clock in the morning (hell, it had been 3:00 when he first got up) because he couldn't sleep because his overactive mind would not shut up.

He sighed again and placed his chin in his hand. The quiet ticking of the clock on his wall was soothing and he felt himself almost drifting back to sleep right there at the table. He wouldn't be ashamed to admit that he was actually a little scared of what was going on; he understood he was in a precarious situation and he couldn't exactly tell anyone about it. The mystery of just who (or what, his mind whispered) mister Heracles Karpusi and his friends was something that was freaking Colin out the more he realized he didn't know and he'd have to be around the man again later today. Just what was in store for him in the future?

Colin blinked sleepily, body outwardly tired and sluggish, but mind working quickly. He wanted to know. If he only knew the mystery, he'd feel safer working for the man – being alone with him in his house that was far enough away from other neighbors to be just under reclusive and having to deal with unusual phone calls and weird predicaments. If there was something dire that could happen, Colin would rather be prepared than go in ignorant. Even if knowing was against the rules.

He nodded to himself slowly. He'll have to figure it out one way or another. If he didn't, he'd probably go insane wondering "what will happen next" for the rest of his time.

._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Colin stood in front of the door, gathering his courage. Okay. Yes. He could do this. This was easy; just go in and act naturally and keep an eye out for anything mysterious. Yes, look for clues. Anything to help him find out the answer. He nodded. Okay.

Colin pushed open the front door to the Karpusi house. "Mister Karpusi, I'm here again," he called. He heard some muffled answer in return as he made his way to the sitting room. He poked his head around the corner and froze. Nine different pairs of eyes gazed back but only five of them were from cats. The black-haired man, which, as Colin recalled, was the representative of Japan, sat in a chair petting the two cats in his lap. The other man, blonde with...ah, eyebrows – this must be the man from that conference about two weeks ago. He was sitting in the other chair with a slightly grumpy expression on his face, head on his fist, but straightened when he noticed Colin. What mainly got Colin's attention was his employer sitting in the only other chair in the room, a cat in his lap and one on the back of his chair and one cat sitting on the window sill in the background. And beside his employer standing was a man in a black suit – government issued – and briefcase, who gazed at Colin with fierce eyes. They had all obviously been talking about something important and stopped only when Colin had gotten close enough to hear them. The man cut his eyes away from Colin's uncomfortable form and back to the other three men.

"Gentlemen." He nodded to them and stepped away in the wake of their responding partings. He passed Colin with no attention spared and left just about as quickly as Colin had noticed him in the first place.

"Mysterious."

"What?"

Colin breathed, forgetting there was a room with even more mysterious individuals behind him. He flapped his hand. "Um. Nothing!" A silence descended, uncomfortable for him, to be sure. The three in the room seemed to be waiting for something. Colin wasn't entirely sure he wanted to find out.

"Mister...Galanos, was it? Would you like to sit down-"

"Tea!" He hurriedly cut the Englishman off.

"Excuse me?"

"T-t-tea. I'll...I'm going to fix some-ome tea. For the guests. Be right back with it!" He forced himself to walk away, arms swinging forcefully to make him cover more ground. He swung into the kitchen and, with jerky movements, began to make the tea that he didn't really care about making in the first place. He absentmindedly replaced a cat on the stove with the teapot, barely aware of anything but his own thoughts, and turned on the heat. He gazed at the boiling water as a cat wound itself in-between his legs. Something was going to happen today and Colin didn't know what. That man before was from Parliament, but high up (just like everyone else around you, underdog, his mind whispered again and would you shut up already, brain? Thank you very much. Douche.). With so many important people in one room, meeting together and...possibly waiting for him to show up...

Oh, God.

Ohhh, hell. Did he do something wrong? Was he going to be "taken out" because he got too close to the truth? But, but how did they even know! Colin hadn't had a chance to do anything but arrive here this morning! What, were they mind-readers now, too? His hand trembled as he poured the water over the bags in the cups. Well, how to get out of this. He could keep interrupting them before they could try to trick him into letting his guard down. Or he could take one hostage. But, no, he wasn't really that type of person. ...He couldn't think.

Agonizingly, because he was aware time was running out, he brought the tray of teacups into the room, the other men lounging comfortably but alert. Oh, balls. They were totally going to give him bad news. They were totally going to...to shoot him or something when he least expected it, like in spy movies. He settled the tray on the table with a shaky clink.

The Japanese man frowned at him. "Are you alright, Galanos-san?"

"Fine!"

His employer blinked slowly at him. "No need to yell, assistant."

Colin took a shaky breath, no longer able to deal with his stress. "What is this 'meeting' about, sir?" The others stared at him and then looked at each other. He continued, feeling sweat starting to break out on his forehead. "Have I...made a mistake at any point in my employment?" He hurriedly continued as the Englishman opened his mouth to speak. "I-If I found out something I'm not supposed to, I promise I won't tell anyone! I didn't mean to find out even if I wanted to find out this morning," they gave him weird looks, "but I don't want to know anymore – promise! I'll keep it quiet – I'm good at being silent, please don't get rid of me!"

"What on earth are you talking about? What do you think we are here for - to kill you?" the Englishman stood and reached his hand...into his inside jacket pocket!

That's where they hide the guns in the movies! Abort! Abort! Run! Colin heeded his fight-or-flight instinct and ran from the room.

"The devil-?"

"Ahhh! Get away from me!"

He got as far as the hallway leading to the door before a slim body collided into his and forced him down to the ground.

"Calm down, you crazy idiot!"

"Get off of me, you evil Brit!"

"Now that's just racist. And will you stop struggling! We're not," he dodged Colin's elbow aimed for his face, "here to kill you! Japan, a little help would be welcome!"

The black-haired man nodded serenely, "Of course, Igirisu-san." He walked over to them, bent down, and reached out to pinch a nerve on Colin's neck, who saw this and started to screech.

"No, no, Japan! I want you to help me – not knock him out!"

"Ah! I-I-! Gomen, Kirkland-san. But I am confused-"

"That makes two of us!" Colin yelled as he wiggled under the hold. "Get off me!"

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"Japan, never mind, knock him out!"

"Yaaah! Don't you dare!"

"I am confused..."

They continued to yell before a bucket of warm water forced its way over their heads, shocking them enough to stop their arguments. Colin stopped struggling and the other two looked at the Greek man with the pail. Greece lowered the bucket.

"Can I speak now?" The ones on the floor blinked back. "Good. ...Assistant, stop being dramatic and get up."

"I can't!"

He felt a glare on his head from the Englishman. "Well, I wouldn't have had to tackle you like an animal if you only sat down and listened." Nevertheless, he got off Colin and they all stood up.

His employer's friend held his hands up towards Colin in a calming move. "Please listen to us, Galanos-san; we mean you no harm."

Colin's attacker sniffed.

His employer tilted his head. "Parliament thought we should come clean...about our existence before now." He gained Colin's attention at this admission. "It's procedure to tell assistants...once they begin to work for us." He gestured to Colin's wet figure. "Before it gets to...this point."

Colin couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't going to be shipped somewhere where no one would ever hear from him again, and he was going to be told the truth of all the strange things he'd questioned up 'till now. It was a surreal feeling.

The other blonde in the hall crossed his arms. "We usually just tell our assistants once they begin to suspect us, if they've been working with us for awhile." He fixed Colin with a stare that Colin returned with a slight glare. "Most would have questioned the strangeness long before now. What the hell is wrong with you that it took you this long to question things?"

Colin blushed at that. "W-Well-! Um, it's just...mister Karpusi only seemed like an eccentric man; it makes sense that he has eccentric friends."

"Why are Greeks so weird?"

"You're the weird one."

"Enough. Assistant," he waited for Colin to look at him, "do you know...what a personification is?"

._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

"Countries? All of you?"

"Yes."

"And you're Greece, the actual country."

"...Yes."

"So do you feel it when someone digs a pole into the ground?"

Greece opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by England.

"Of course not, we're not that sensitive to the earth."

The immediate ire was returned with relish. "Excuse me, Britain, I was talking to my employer, Greece."

"The answer involves me, too, and my name is 'England' now, you ninny."

"You're a mean country."

England sputtered. Japan smiled.

"This is hard to take in, hai? Do you have any questions?"

Colin waved his hand. "Oh, lots. But I can't think of any of them right now." They nodded. "Well, except one: what happens now? It's okay that I know, right?"

England nodded, setting aside their argumentative natures for now. "Actually, you signed a nondisclosure agreement before you began to work."

"Wha-? I did?"

"Did you not read the papers that determine your future?" England asked him with a sigh, as if he dealt with this brand of ignorance every day.

Colin frowned with embarrassment. "Er...I read most of it." He scratched a non-existent itch on his neck. "I was so excited to get such a high-paying job, though."

"And being so highly-paid by being a mere assistant didn't strike you as odd?"

"...Mister Karpusi- I mean, mister Greece was...unusual enough."

"Oh, I see your point."

Greece's only reaction to their slights were a slow blink and a deliberate petting of the cat on his lap.

Japan set his tea down. "You handled the situation well when you thought you were in danger, Galanos-san. Thank you for not poisoning our tea."

"Er..." He had thought about it, though.

"Moving on," his employer-turned-country drawled. "You cannot tell anyone. But you do have the freedom to quit, if you wish."

Colin startled. "I do?"

Greece nodded with uninterested eyes. "Parliament will keep eyes on you, but you don't have to remain...attached to me if you don't wish to be." He scratched his cat under the chin.

Colin nodded with resolution. "I want to quit immediately."

England choked on his tea. "What? That was fast, don't you want to think about it for a mo'?"

"Heck no. Do you know what I've suffered through since I came to work for this man?" he gestured to all of Greece, who nodded in agreement.

"It's true; I've abused him...greatly."

England and Colin scowled at him and stated, "Don't agree so easily!" They glanced at each other and turned their own scowls on each other.

Greece shrugged. "You should just work...for some other country. You were a good assistant...and Parliament won't let you do much else until they are sure...you can be trusted to go out into the world. Without supervision." He suddenly let his head fall back, as if all this talking was sapping his strength. Actually, Colin wouldn't be surprised if this was true. How was his birth country so...out of energy all of the time?

He shook his head out of his thoughts. "So I'm going to be spied on so I don't blab your big secret? Great," he groaned. England gave him a rather unsympathetic shrug.

Japan smiled more sympathetically. "Only for a little while. In the mean time, what do you think you would like to do? I agree with Greece-san –"

"Greece-kun –"

"-that you would feel less pressure from other humans if you only worked for another country, if not Greece-san."

"Greece-kun."

Colin shrugged his shoulders. "If it's alright to work for a country that I'm not even from-?"

"It is. You will have to file for temporary residence, however, if you do not wish to live there."

"Then...that sounds fine."

And it did. He felt more qualified to be an assistant to someone than he did for any other jobs he'd ever had. And if you looked past any idiosyncrasies, it was a surprisingly easy job (if you didn't count the lack of self-respect and gratitude for any help you gave) to do. If Colin could work for someone as horribly teasing and abusive as Greece, then he could take working for any other weird country they could hand him off to. Colin nodded resolutely for a second time.

"No offense, mister Karpu- Greece, but I think I'll spare any sanity I have left and work 'assistant' for someone else." You jerk, his mind added with revenge, all the crap he'd had to deal with while working under the country coming back to him.

"You were an adequate assistant, assistant."

"Thank you, mister Greece."

"But you weren't very good."

Asshole. "Do you even know my name?"

"I've said it...before."

"But do you remember it?"

"...I don't need to...because you're leaving."

"Right, you've completely forgotten. Well, whatever." He turned to England. "What countries can I come work for?"

England walked toward them, studying the form in his hand. "There aren't many countries who either need an assistant or have applied for one."

Greece held his hand out for the form and scanned his eyes down the list. He then picked up a pen and marked a name for Colin before closing it and sticking it in an envelope with other forms that were to be sent back to Parliament. "It is done."

England peered at his face. "Who did you pick?"

"That," he leaned back into his chair, "is only for my...cherished assistant to know."

Colin narrowed his eyes. "Who did you pick, you sadist."

"You'll find out...soon."

._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._._.

Colin sweated as he brandished a pole from a broken rake and stood his ground as a figure came towards him.

"Assistaaant~! What did you do to my study?" The figure laughed. "Did you think I would not notice?"

Colin swayed the pole back and forth. "I did what you told me to do, you psycho! It was messy and I cleaned it up!"

"Ufuu~! I told you not to touch the ones in front of the desk."

"No, you told me not to touch the ones behind the desk. And I made them orderly – there's no reason you should be mad at that."

Russia stopped once he had come into view and pursed his lips as he looked to the ceiling. "That is true. But you should also learn to listen better."

Colin stood with his feet apart and ready. "I did listen."

"You did not. Do you need another lesson on what the cold can do to a person's body?"

"Aaah! You keep your weird DVDs and your weird demonstrations away from me! If it'll make you calm your shit, then, okay, I'll admit I messed up and I'll listen better next time. Happy?"

Russia nodded with a smile. "So happy. You know I enjoy you being here, assistant."

"Yeah, right," Colin muttered while twisting the pole back and forth in his hands. And what was with some countries not bothering to remember his name? It wasn't that hard to say.

Russia clapped his hands together. "In fact, I am sorry to have been misjudging you. Let us hug and 'make up', da?" He bounced toward Colin with cheerful determination.

Colin panicked and threw the pole at him (bastard didn't even look at it as he ducked under it) and ran out of the room and down the hallways around the house. "Get away from meee!"

"Assistant!" his employer admonished with a pout. "Why do you always play this game? You know I always win."

"Screw you!"

"Ufuu~! I suppose we can play some more before you have to make dinner."

"I'm an assistant, not a servant!"

"What is the difference?"

Colin groaned as he cursed Greece again for pulling his last prank on him before Colin left. If he'd known Russia was so much of a deviation from his previous employer, he would have saved himself the trouble and stayed in Greece's employment. He turned another corner (the same one he'd already passed) and reflected on the fact that the new changes in his life were both good and bad.

He almost opened the door to outside (easier to lose his employer in it) but remembered the last time he'd left he'd been locked out "on accident" and had spent three hours outside in the cold before his employer finally heard him and opened it. (No one else lived here, the bastard could totally hear him banging on the doors and windows, he just didn't want to open it!) The bad things that had happened to him were some of the examples he'd already named. And more.

He went onto another flight of stairs and ascended them quickly before his employer had even rounded the corner. He continued on with barely a moment's rest. The good thing (the only one he could think of) was that his stamina had increased. Ridiculously so.

"Assistant, when did you get so fast~?"

"You know when!"

"Ha ha ha!"

As he ducked into a room to hide, he vowed to never complain again about having a desk job for as long as he lived. Countries were a bitch to work for.

End.

Post Script - The end, yaaay! Thanks to those who reviewed, read, followed, and favorited this little fic. I apologize if it seems rushed, but it was either that or it would never have an ending. Colin was my first OC and I feel sad to see him go on to bigger (lie) and brighter (bigger lie) things.