/ Hey everyone! New story. 'T' Rating will go up soon.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.

Chapter 1: Just a Kiss

/

I can't help it. My steady hands are acting of their own accord as I grab his metal belt buckle. My mind is telling me I don't want this. It's chanting a mantra. Stop it. Stop it. You're going to regret this. Let it be a bad dream. But I can't stop. I can't even pinch myself. My hands are certain.

His eyes are opaque. I can't tell what he's thinking, but he's not stopping me. He just stands there, looking down at me, like I'm some new specimen of arachnids. Do I have 8 legs? I wonder haphazardly. With all this insanity happening about me, I don't doubt it. I look around myself and see I'm still me. Five fingers, normal brown hair, small chest.

With ease, I unzip his pressed slacks and pull him lose. I don't know why I chose him. With utter disgust and horror, I'm melting on my legs, wantonly. I'm on the ground, looking up at him expectantly, like a little lost puppy.

His expression is still blank. Uncaring and eager, I tuck my fingers under the waistband of his boxer-briefs and prepare to slide them down his toned legs.

I feel a hand grab my wrist roughly and haul me to my feet. I stumble when regaining my footing. He doesn't want this?

Despite my shameless performance, the impressionable girl inside of me is still a little hurt to be rejected so swiftly. My mind isn't functioning properly. I'm going to cry.

His jade eyes pierce mine, and I look away, as if they are lasers. He shakes me a little and snarls, "What the hell is going on, Tohru?" I don't know myself. It was like a force pushed me to your doorsteps… and now I want you to take me.

It's my first time. I always said I was saving myself for 'the one.' But there's nothing I can do. I'm going to lose my virginity tonight. And it's no one's fault but my own. I'm a romantic, but there's nothing romantic about this. I didn't want to be single forever, but I also didn't want to turn into a pr-prostitute.

"I don't know." My restless hands are clawing at his trench coat. I don't even consider that he was planning on going somewhere before I rudely interrupted…

Instead, I laugh to myself like a fool. It's funny seeing a man in a trench coat without pants. Haha.

He doesn't seem to think it's funny. He curses and pulls his pants up, but not fast enough.

I reach out again, and he slaps my hand away. "Stop."

I'm way past shame. I know he wants more; I can see the hooded desire in depths on his eyes. Just my luck, I came to him. He sees me only as Shigure's ward. And a good cook. I'll never be anything more.

I sit on the ground like a petulant child. I can feel an all-consuming wave of dizziness pass through me. I'm seeing yellow splotches dancing across my vision. If I don't get this now, I'm going to die. Or at least faint. I need his touch, something, anything. I just need to vocalize it, but I can't say it without giving up my motive. He's going to be so mad.

Probably tell him too.

And then he'll never love me.

As I'm staring at the back wall, I feel strong arms pull me up and carry me into the bedroom. The inside of me is still pulsing. Everything inside me is throbbing. My head. My core.

He sits me down at the edge of his bed and takes my temperature.

"That's odd."

I'm freezing. I'm wearing 2 sweaters and 2 shirts and it's not even cold.

I can feel I'm about to pass out if he doesn't do something about it.

"K-kiss me."

He looks at me peculiarly, like he has this whole time.

/

He looks back at her. She's looks like she's asleep. Her breathing is even. What has gotten into her? Something must be wrong. With all those illegal apothecaries and natural remedy clinics sprouting up everywhere, who knew where Tohru could have gotten this!

He taps her shoulder to wake her. But she doesn't. He shakes her a bit. Nothing.

Her pulse is fine. But it's like she's in a coma. Kiss me. The two words ghost over him like a thin mist.

No way.

She probably hasn't even had her first proper kiss. I can't just take that away from her. I'm cold like snow. I can't be looked at with sincerity and innocence, because I've done so much wrong. I'm beyond salvation. I'm in eternal hell. I deserve to be here. I've erased innocent people's memories. I was too weak to be with Kana.

Against his better judgment, he leans down to press the faintest kiss on her almost bloodless lips. Her color has drained more, during the time that he's contemplated kissing her.

Without letting him self get too carried away in those cold, but so soft lips, he moves to his desk and watches her, praying that she'll wake up.

/

I can feel the cloudiness inside me subside greatly. It's like a light has broke through the chaos. Everything's clear again, I can feel warmth spread to my fingertips. I wiggle my fingers. I can smell his pleasant scent on the sheets I'm lying in. It smells like the ocean, fresh and salty. I breathe in deep and arch off the bed. I feel like I've awoken from the longest sleep or something. Then I remember.

I had begged him to kiss me.

He must have, because I awoke from that deep sleep…

I open my eyes. He's there, eyes closed, resting. My thoughts are jumping all over the place. First thing's first. My eyes squeeze shut as I try to will away this nightmare. But when I open one eye to look around, I'm still here.

The bedroom is shades of grey. And it's beautiful, if not too clinical. It looks like model from an interior design magazine.

I'll never live this down. I forced myself upon a male Sohma who has absolutely NO interest in me!

But at least the ache is gone for now.

His arms folded behind his head, eyes closed, dark lashes fanning across his cheeks. There's a somber look on his face. He's probably not happy with what he had to do.

I lift the sheet to make sure that I'm decent. Good. Things didn't get that far. He must have heard the rustle of sheets because he looks up at me. Seeing that I'm awake, he gives a curt nod and leaves the room.

On my way out, I open and close my mouth a few times, like a pet fish, unsure of how to end this. I look toward his office. I can see him at his desk, hunched over, diligently. He's probably poring over some heavy text on how to cure the cancer or something. He's so brilliant. He's always been able to heal me when I'm sick. Today was no exception. I'm cured. I feel much better than before. I end up whispering the softest 'goodbye' and leave, shutting the door behind me softly.

It's over. I'm normal again.

Then why do I feel so empty?

/

A/N: 1.19.2013 - Let me know what you think! Love ya'll.

1.22.2013 - This first chapter may be confusing. But the next chapter (and future chapters) will explain what happened. And of course, if you have ANY questions, you can always ask me. :)