Finally the crossover with Bayonetta is Complete! I had you wait didn't I? before you start throwing a tantrum, I didn't forget my other fanfictions, the new chapter of "the many..." and "strongest team" are in making, I just like to have few Contingency plan in case I run short on ideas in a story, by updating another I can show you that I'm still alive^^

Few things: I'll try and be funny (really, I swear I will try), I will try and be original, since that we don't know how certain characters of Bayonetta act normally (except Bayonetta and maybe Luka) because of Jeanne being (spoiler)

Brainwashed during the game-play as well as the fact that they all were "On business" that means focused and serious, I may (it means I'm not sure) add few OOC moments, please forgive me, as for example add a little of "Sanji of One Piece" to Luka towards Bayonetta.

I'll appreciate few suggestions about how continue the story (If you wish it to continue, I know I ask this at every story I write, but we all have few quirks don't we?)

" You bastard" - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" Can it get any worse? " - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bayonetta or anything else I used and will use... but I wish I could

Chapter 1 : meeting two Babes

The final battle against Jublileus was finally over, the goddess of creation ended up separated from her body thanks to a punch from queen Sheeba, summoned by the combined power of Bayonetta and Jeanne.

Now Bayonetta, "Left eye of the world" stood exhausted on the now barely alive statue once body of the goddess, watching as the huge body fell on the planet, her long black hair flowing freely along her two red long ribbons.

"Just perfect...after all this mess the world is still in danger" she said

"Pitiful" said another voice

"Jeanne!" said Bayonetta

Jeanne was a short, white haired woman wearing a red leather suit with a black high collar, her dark red lips twisted in a smirk.

"Don't tell me that our sexy heroine is tired already, should I make the credits roll?" she asked

"Well, even if this place sure gives a pleasant view of our planet, I don't think it could be safe to let this little rock hit the target" said Bayonetta smiling while adjusting her glasses.

While the two were talking, the statue started slowly to move, trying to crash the duo.

"How sad, she is still trying to kill us, come on! We don't have time to slack off!" said Jeanne, while using her guns to blow the statue to pieces

"Roger!" answered Bayonetta, using her pair of clawed gloves Durga to cut everything on sight.

Shooting, cutting or punching, it doesn't matter what method was used, as the Earth was coming always nearer, the ex-body of Jubileus was being destroyed in a slow, agonizingly pace, but in the end in the complete void of the space only remained Jeanne, Bayonetta and a lot of dust.

"Jeanne! Come here!" yelled Bayonetta

The two got in position, back to back with an arm stretched up and one down, somehow preparing for the impact.

"This is better be a good idea because if we die, I'm not gonna talk to you ever again!" said Jeanne as both laughed, while falling as a ball of fire in a lake, shocking the surroundings with a huge BOOM.

While the Goddess body was being destroyed

A young blond boy stumbled on the shore of the lake, far away from his home and village, his azure eyes scanning tiredly around him in case someone tried following him, the six whiskers-like marks on his cheeks wet from both sweat and crying.

He ran away.

He ran away from his village, from the people who hates him, that had made everything in their power to make his life a living hell.

If that wasn't enough, the same people that despise him keep praising his sister Minako, those fools of his parents had even named her after the boy's father Minato, Why? You ask?

Because eight years ago a powerful demon, the strongest of his kind, attacked his village forcing the boy's father Minato Namikaze, leader of Konoha, to act heroically and sealed away the Nine Tailed Fox inside his two sons, the power inside his daughter and the soul inside his son and thanks to that he even escaped being killed after summoning the Shinigami since the soul of the Kyuubi was now linked to the boy's one and removing the Fox could have been the death of the kid, an innocent soul, the contract was in fact rendered void.

Mind you that Minato was conscious of the fact that the Shinigami was pissed but couldn't do anything, but as long as he was alive and the Fox sealed, he didn't mind.

Great mistake, Baby.

In the end? Minako was seen as an heroine for keeping the demon's power at bay and possibly one day use it serving the village while her brother Naruto was treated as the Fox reincarnated into human flesh.

The bastards liked to beat him, cut him, stab him and during the twins birthday the situation was even worse. for Naruto at least.

With no other friends than Neji, whose sister Hinata keep referring to as "inferior branch trash", Choji Akimiji, Tenten (that had numerous times proclaimed Naruto HER boyfriend, even if the same blond didn't know that until his great escape) Naruto passed all his life alone, forgotten.

Today was the eight birthday of Minako, hers since other than his friends everyone else easily tend to forget he was her twin, after another jab of his sister about how many presents she had received, with the hidden meaning of how she was loved way more than him, he decided to ran away from everything, uncaring of the glares the others in the party were giving him, where wasn't important, all that matter to Naruto was leaving Konoha, the more he was far away the better he would feel.

He knows that his family won't notice his leaving until too late, after all, they never cared about him just ignoring the boy over his extremely spoiled sister that was training with Minato and Kushina since she was five.

Naruto had tried asking to take part at the training regimen, Hell, even just a few tips here and there or books in his mind could have been good too, but NOO!, they have to shun him away as an annoyance, the last straw that help the boy decide to ran away was getting slapped by his father because, and he quoted, "He was acting as a whining, spoiled brat".

So during the party he left the house after he had said goodbye to his friends, luckily for him his idiotic father was already too drunk to notice his absence and his mother was too much of a fan-girl to even TRY and go against her "Mina-kun", not that she wasn't drunk too.

Sadly, once the boy left the gate of his house a drunken mob started chasing him so to cleanse the village as a present for their beloved Minako.

After a long pursuit, where he was severely injured, he arrived at what they called "The Valley of The End" place where the first Hokage fought Madara Uchiha.

Once there, grabbing his left arm now useless, Naruto walked towards the lake.

"Water! Finally!" he said elated.

Calling out his last bit of strength, the boy started running towards that wonderful liquid...when a whistling sound called the blond out of his musing, watching the sky he saw something falling towards him.

"WHAT THE FUU..."

SPLASH!

With Bayonetta and Jeanne

"[Fuah!] Wow! Your aim sucks, of all the places we had to land in a lake , you really...Cereza?...CEREZA!" called Jeanne while reaching the shore

She finally saw her friend/rival unconscious in the water, almost drowning, before a little boy jumped in the lake trying to save her.

"Hang there! We are almost out!" she heard the boy yell before pulling Bayonetta out of the water and dragging her before collapsing exhausted.

Several hours later

Naruto was waking up feeling a strange warmth on his body, opening his eyes he was expecting to see the face of Kushina ready to yell at him for his actions, instead he noted that he was being hosted in the arms of a red leather clothed woman that smiled at him once she saw he was awake.

"Our little hero is awake, what where you doing here little man?" she asked

"I ran away from a group of people that wished to kill me" said Naruto stirring and getting up

"No wonder you were so beaten up then, just don't start whining" said the other woman

"Well SORRY Princess! I'm just a kid that had a mob of adults trying to skin him alive! I wouldn't dare to slain your poor ears after I saved your sorry ass from drowning!" he said enraged

"yeah yeah whatever...thank you by the way" said the black haired woman

"Who are you? I never got your names" he asked

"I'm Jeanne" said the white haired woman

"You can call me Bayonetta" said the other

"My name is Naruto, nice to meet you" Naruto said with a bow of his head

"Now, can you please explain why a kid, probably not older than 7, was being hunted down? because unless you do something terrible I don't think I will like having anything to do with those fuckers" asked Jeanne getting up as well

"My father is the leader of my village, years ago he sealed the soul of a powerful demon inside me and now the villagers always try to kill me believing that the Nine Tailed Fox soul is possessing me"

"By the way you talk, I think that your parents don't know or don't care about it?" asked Bayonetta

"Well...just as everyone else they only care about my sister that has the demon power inside her, praising her as an heroine and spoiling her silly" said Naruto looking around before choosing a direction and walking away.

"Where are you going?" asked Jeanne

"Somewhere, it doesn't matter, as long I'm far away from them"

"You are too young to live on your on, you idiot" said Bayonetta

"Hey Miss Bayonetta?" said the boy

"Yes?"

"I don't give a fuck about what you think, you don't know me and I don't know you so if I don't say anything about you, you just mind your own business" answered the boy

"Pretty big talk from you, pipsqueak" said Bayonetta jokingly

"I practically live on my own, I grow fast and learn by myself and thanks to the demon" said the boy leaving

"Funny as a kick to the mouth" said Bayonetta

"Back there you and that reporter were as funny as a cancer, but I'm still here" said Jeanne, following the boy

"What do you want?" asked the boy

"I want to help you, at least let us accompany you to the next village if you are so hellbent to flee yours" said Jeanne

"No thanks, I don't need anyone nor I'll be a dead weight" answered Naruto running away

"How to destroy a kid.." sighed Bayonetta as her and Jeanne start following the boy

They were deep in the forest when the boy's painful cry echoed everywhere.

"Shit! Hang there I'm coming!" yelled Jeanne

"If I didn't know you well, I may think that your maternal instinct is showing up"

"It's not the time for your shitty jokes, since the boy helped you AT LEAST let's help him this time...and by the way just because I am the stoic/rude one between us it doesn't mean I can't show some concern, and during most of the Jubileus incident I want you to remember that I was brainwashed so sorry if I wasn't myself" said Jeanne as they reached Naruto

The boy was being held by the collar by a masked ANBU that snorted upon grabbing him

"The demon tries to run away? Pathetic beast, you are property of Konoha and of the Fourth since he felt so generous to give you shelter, so show some gratitude towards us human, your betters" said the eagle masked man holding the kid

"Let me go! You don't want me so why forcing me to come back? You want me to stay there just for being hunted down by you people, why should I wish to come back?" asked Naruto spitting on the masked shinobi

"You insolent beast!" said the man throwing him down as he and the others started beating him

BANG! A deafening sound rocked the forest as the Anbu with the eagle mask got hit from behind, losing his head in an explosion of blood and splattering grey matter everywhere.

"You know? Normally I don't interfere where I don't belong...but I owe one to that kid and letting him die by the hands of the people sent to SAVE him would let me with a debt I don't want" said Bayonetta with the still smoking Scarborough Fair gun in his hand.

"He is a demon! A monster! Once he dies the Fox power will forever be in Konoha's hands while the demon burns in He.." with another bang, this time from Jeanne, another ANBU stopped ranting...and breathing.

"Now Now! Four adults ganging up on a child, are you really so weak? Boy close your eyes becuase this is not something a kid should see" asked Jeanne seeing the boy comply.

For few minutes everything Naruto could hear were shouts, Jutsus being launched and the two women chanting in a strange language he didn't know.

When he finally decided to look, he could see that a lone owl masked ANBU remained, he was pinned to a tree and tied up with what looked like a mass of hairs.

"Now dear, why not you repeat what we told you?" asked Jeanne with a sinister, sweet smile.

"I will say that we attacked a bunch of bandits that had killed the boy..." said the ANBU pissing himself

"And?" asked Bayonetta leaning forward

"And my teammates were slaughtered so I am the only survivor"

"And you are so desperate to have lost your beloved leader's son that you'll quit your carrier as a ninja, right?" asked Jeanne

"Of course! Of course! Everything you say! Just let me live, I don't wanna die!"

"Now go, and if you ever show you face again we'll kill you" said Jeanne freeing the man who started running away screaming like a little girl.

"Don't worry, even if they have someone able to read minds they won't found anything" said Bayonetta

"Are you sure? Ino's dad is the best in their Mind Walking" said Naruto while leaving

"Because we are witches, our magic is something your people had never seen" said Jeanne, grabbing the boy's arm

"What do you want? You helped me, your debt towards me is gone so let me go" said the boy forcing his arm free

"If you want so desperately to leave this place then come with me" said the witch in red

"Why? You need a servant or something? In Konoha they have already tried that numerous times and they all failed!" said Naruto

"You really didn't trust people don't you?" asked Bayonetta

"Not anymore"

"I was talking about an apprentice more than a servant" said casually Jeanne

"I don't think I understand...you want me, a stranger, as your apprentice? Why?" asked the boy

"Think about it, your mother isn't interested in you and the rest of your village is wasting some good potential, what did you have to lose?" asked Jeanne

"Potential?"

"The demon soul sealed in you, hypothetically we should be able to use it to train you into a wizard just as me and Jeanne, that and the fact that my friend here is going all maternal since you saved me... she even played with your hair while you were unconscious" said Bayonetta making her friend's cheeks turn faintly red with anger.

"WHAT?"

"They felt so silky..." admitted Jeanne

"...oookay" said the boy slightly etching away from the woman

"If I have to say, maybe you should accept, my boy" said an elderly man wearing a long white robe, sporting a long beard reaching his stomach in the same metallic grey of his hair and sparkling grey eyes, he was walking using an old-looking branch as a cane.

"An hermit...what are you doing here old man?" asked Bayonetta

"Hermit? More like the Shinigami dear...since the father of this boy used a loophole in the rules to deny me his soul, thing that had me becoming the laughing stock of the Underworld by the way, I decided to take my revenge on that shitty blond" said the old man

"Didn't you people have rules about not interfering with the humans?" asked Jeanne...getting an hold of Naruto so to keep playing with his hair, all for the ire of the struggling boy.

"SCREW THE RULES! IF HE PLAYS DIRTY I'LL DO THAT TOO!" yelled enraged the man

"So...if I help you what did I get?" asked Naruto

"I'll turn you into a wizard like the members of the Umbra clan, by now you don't have That something required to start their training, but I am still a deity so... the only exception will be the fact that you won't need to sign a contract with the demons of the Inferno, you have already your personal demon in that seal of yours, the only one you'll need is for you Wicked Waves. What do you think? you will finally have the chance to prove to those idiots that YOU are the best of the best...even greater than your father " said the Shinigami

"Okay, I guess, but I don't want any problem with Kami, Yami or whatever deity YOU will piss off with your playing the avenger!" said the boy pointing ta the old man

"Who cares? They will be too focused on doing all the paperwork that this mess will generate to actually take actions against us before the end" said the Shinigami

"Using a shadow clone? My father said that the jutsu create a physical clone that send to the user the memories once it dispelled, a clone could do the work then disappear...but now that I think about it...Dad never used them like that" said the boy taking a thinking pose.

In the forest a tense silence reigned for several seconds until...

"YamiDammit!" yelled a disembodied voice from the sky.

"HEY! I heard that!" yelled another seemingly from underground.

"Hahaha! It seem that even those two never thought about it, they had given me the instruments to help you as well as their blessing" said the Shingami laughing

"Their blessing? You people sure are desperate to listen to a boy" said Bayonetta smirking

"Does she have any other mood other than Bitch ?" asked Naruto

"Hey!" said Bayonetta

"Unfortunately..not" said Jeanne

"HEY! STOP IT!" cried out Bayonetta

"Whatever, come you three, we have a Fox to meet and I have a lot of work to do" The Shinigami snapped his fingers, in a huge flash of light the forest disappeared, in its place a dark sewer.

"Tell us the truth...you made us fall here on purpose, so to start your whole revenge plan, didn't you?" asked Jeanne

"..." the old man shifted his gaze in a undefined direction

"..."

"..."

"...You did it?...really?" asked Naruto

"..."

"..." a wrinkled hand passed through silver hair

"..."

"...Maybe" said the Shinigami

"What an idiot" boomed the Kyuubi voice

"Oh dear..what a cute over-sized fur-ball we have here!" cooed Bayonetta

"Show some respect, you filthy witch!" yelled the angered Kyuubi trying to squash the woman

"Umpf! Yo foxy! Bitch slap!" yelled Bayonetta as an huge hand made out of hair slapped the Fox against the cage

"So, I think that a change of look is in order here, can you two take care of that while I transform the boy? I wish to start the whole ordeal as soon as possible" said the Shinigami.

"Ok-Ok...Ready Jeanne?"

"I'm ready" said the white haired woman

The two of them strode in front of the cage exchanging few positions of an erotic dance before kneeling down with their bust up in the sky.

"PLAPLI OLLOR AR FISIS OD DES MAD IARRI C MICALZ OL G-CHIS-GE AR" (trad. -take a new form and accept your Fate oh powerful, you are new- I found an Enochian translator ^^) both chanted as the clothes retreated showing that they were using the hair to cover their bodies.

The last thing that was heard was the perverted giggle of the Fox while it was encased by the treads.

As the black and white cocoon of hair finally retreat, a new form of the Fox could be seen, with an hourglass figure stood a fiery red haired woman, an ample chest covered she was trying to coveri with her hair and tanned skin, she glared at the two witches.

"W-WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!" she said grabbing her newly formed breast

"What? Don't you liked it Kyu-chan?" asked Bayonetta

"My name is KURAMA!" she yelled

"So?" asked Jeanne

"I WAS A FUCKING MALE!" yelled Kurama trying to cover her not-so-modest body

"Not anymore, Baby!" said the Shinigami laughing evilly

"I can't believe this...me...a woman...a busty woman..." whined the demon

"Come on Naru-chan, say something to your new sister" said Jeanne

"You...You are really pretty K-Kurama" the boy said with a bow

"S-Stupid! Y-your praise m-means nothing to me" she said looking elsewhere blushing

"Good! Now the last detail...let's remove that piece of paper and use a seal made by A REAL master such as me" the death God said proudly

As the paper was removed, a projection of Minato made his appearance

"Son! What the Hell are you doWHAK!" the man said before the Shinigami grabbed him by the neck

"Look what we have here...you are not the original, but I take what I can get..Uhm! Informations...Jutsus...all the knowledge the boy was kept away from...sure it's all stuff old of at least eight years, but you can't look a gifted horse in the mouth" said the god as he used the other hand to extract a glass-like sphere from the seal-Minato's head

"What's that?" Naruto asked

"Your old man knowledge..as I told you, I want my revenge and I want you to surpass him in every way and I mean EVERY way!...jutsu, Seals, politics, fighting...HELL! If you manage and get to fuck Kushina and that brat of Minako then its even better!" said the old man trusting the ball inside Naruto's head

"But-But...They are my mother and Sister!" stammered the boy

"Not anymore because for the final part I will turn your blood in Jeanne's one, you will become HER son, this is your last chance if you refuse I will undo everything and leave you on your own" said The Shinigami

A long silence fell on that sewer, Naruto stood in the middle of the room with even the clone of Minato looking at him, but the boy had his eyes fixed on his hands while he was re-living again and again his short life.

The beatings...the glares...the pain he felt seeing his family growing every day more distant until he too stopped worrying to have them acknowledge his very existence.

He then glared at Jeanne...could he trust her? She asked him to follow her in order to train, but it was just out of pity...the very same pity that he saw in the eyes of the Ichirakus, the same feeling that had Iruka-san sometime paying him a meal, then he took his decision.

A son? No, just a fellow wizard of Umbra, He won't love her like she was his real mother in an instant just because someone said he had to, maybe he will do that over time, but by now this whole thing was the only way he had to finally show everyone what he was really capable of.

"I'll do it, but I won't call Jeanne Mom, I had enough problems with my old mother to just have another at the moment's notice" said the boy

"Sounds fair to me, it could have been lame otherwise" said Jeanne

"Very well" said the old man as he took Jeanne hand, running a finger along her palm drawing blood and pouring few drops of it in the kid's mouth.

Losing the whiskers marks, growing paler and earning a platinum, almost white hair, that was the price of becoming the son of the Umbra witch.

"Good, I'll let you two to train him in both Umbra magic and Ninja techniques, as for me, I'll spend some Quality time with our little Seal-Minato here until the time of my revenge comes, don't worry, that dumb blond will receive the signal of your death so he won't try and search for you" said the Shinigami before he and the illusion-like Hokage, as well as the whole room shimmered into a vast whiteness before disappearing.

"What now?" asked Naruto founding himself back into the woods

"We'll use one of the entrances for The gates of Hell, dear Shini had set one for us" said Bayonetta pointing at a red portal on the forest floor

"Will anyone find it?" asked the boy

"Only if you are a regular guest, just like us" said Jeanne leading the group inside.

Gates of Hell

The Gates of Hell, home of the worst scum of the society …..and the best Bloody Mary and Margarita you will find in the whole south of Vingrid.

Behind the counter stood Rodin, a black man wearing a leather coat and Sun-glasses mixing a drink for a young man that was resting his head on the cold metal of a table with his long scarf touching the ground.

"Luka...this is the last one, I don't wanna to drag your sorry ass outta here by that scarf!" said Rodin at the drunken man

"She is gone! She is gone and I can't stand it!" Luka slurred

"If ya keep drinking you will end just like Humpty-Dumpty, down there to rot" said a short man with a green winter coat, red scarf and brown pants while smoking a cigar

"Enzo shut up!" yelled Luka in his alcohol-induced stupor

"How cute! My boys are all sad because I'm not around!" said Bayonetta

"BAYONETTA-CHAN!" yelled Luka jumping towards her

"Oh chesire! Always the one jump into action" she said...side-stepping and letting him to crush against the tables of the local

"Who is the little one?" asked Rodin easily ignoring the groans of pain of Luka

"This one? Jeannie wanted to be all mommy so she found herself a son"

"Her son?...the little fucker does look like her a little" said Enzo

"What are they saying?" asked Naruto

"Oh great, Japanese! I only know how to ask where is the bathroom, for Fuck sake!" yelled Enzo

"You have a little language barrier then? Not my prob, I know the language" said Rodin in a smirk

"I'll help him Jeanne, you just talk and I'll translate for him" said Luka while stumbling on his feet while trying to remain sober

"We have a work to do apparently..their Death God want us to train him so he can surpass his father and achieve revenge for the Shinigami" said Bayonetta

"The Shinigami? That fucker got fucked by a mortal man that summoned him for free, he is practically the joke of the Inferno" said Rodin with a deep laugh

"The very same and since he is somehow in an high position in the after-life I want him with an ol' big debt towards me, I like to dance and if they sent me and Jeanne to Inferno I don't think I will like the music they play"

"You want a place in Paradiso?" asked Rodin

"Are you crazy? All that white and the chorus...BOOOORING!" answered the black haired witch

"I'LL HELP!" yelled Luka

"Thank you Chesire..and you Rodin?" asked Jeanne

"Bayonetta...you know I like you...but if you want my help..." said Rodin holding a Platinum ticket

"OOH! Father Rodin wants to play?" asked Bayonetta

"You bet Babe! Win and I'll help you" he simply answered

As the two disappeared in a portal, screams, magic attacks and explosions could be heard, after what looked like an eternity the portal opened again, letting an heavily beaten and blood-drenched Rodin came crushing on the floor

"Ouuugh!" he whined as the woman sat on his back

"Congratulation my little brat! We have another teacher just for you!" chirped Bayonetta

"Yatta!" yelled Naruto

"What?" asked Enzo

"It means Hurray!" answered Luka

"Oh!"

Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmm mmeeeeeeee SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP!...Six Years Later ( I'm lazy about describing his training, Sue me^^ He trained REALLY hard and leave it at that ^^)

A boy wearing an open white jumpsuit with gold chains adorning his sleeves, an Umbra watch on his chest and a very long white scarf (coming from a fashion lesson courtesy of Luka) was following two women in a corridor in what looked like a dungeon, before them came an huge gate.

"Do you remember what we told you Naru-chan?" asked the red dressed woman

"Yes...for the tenth time already! YES! I do remember Jeanne..." said Naruto

"Jeanne?" she asked

"Jeanne-kaasan" groaned the boy

"Good boy" said Jeanne earning a soft growl from the boy

It took six years and several meetings (Read Ungodly beatings and indescribable pain) with Father Rodin and the demons both witch could summon, but in the end the boy crumbled and started calling Jeanne Mom and he would never admit that, not even under the threat of fighting both Queen Sheeba and Jubileus during that time of the month, but he always felt somehow happy doing that.

Don't you dare saying this to her.

"Then repeat it again, little one" said Bayonetta

"Since I have the Kyuubi inside me I don't need a pact to summon demons, however to complete my training I had to form a pact with at least one of them, that's why I had to endure their trials and have them acknowledge me...but I still don't understand why HER of all the demons that inhabits the Inferno" Naruto chanted in a monotone, but turning beet red on the final part.

"Exactly, using that Fox soul you can craft your hairs to give it the same appearance of our demons...and Cleopatra wasn't that bad after all" said Bayonetta

"Yeah, you passed her trial with flying colours" said Jeanne

"But-But..she..she did...she licked my...and then she used..after that...her hands...THAT WEREN'T THINGS A WOMAN SHOULD DO TO A KID!" he yelled while passing trough every shade of red known to man

"And you didn't flinch or submit to her, quite an impressive feat, luckily the boys had give you The Talk so you were already somehow prepared" said Jeanne momentarily clenching her fists at that particular memory.

It happened after Naruto's fourteen birthday, the three man of the group decided that their "Young man" needed to know the miracle of life, so while the women were out the poor boy was seated in the middle of a triangle with Enzo, Luka and Rodin staring at him.

"Ya see little punk" started Enzo

"When someone as cool as me and you meets a beautiful girl.." continued Luka

"Or horny demon girls, don't ya forget them" interrupted Rodin

"Yeah, those are good too" said Enzo

"As I was saying...you are at that age when..."

What a Talk was that, just to be sure they covered everything, once the Basics were amply explained, the trio started adding deviation on the subject ranging from positions to things like Threesomes, Foursomes, Orgies, Gang Bangs, Yaoi, Yuri, Futa as well as asphyxiophilia, catheterrophilia, kleptophilia, morphophilia, necrophilia (You DON'T wanna know, trust me), somnophilia, stigmatophilia, urophilia (please...don't ask), zoophilia and several other sexual atrocities that human mind cannot comprehend, Rodin had even showed them few photos of him performing said twisted fantasies.

For over four hours that Crime Against Humanity they called "The Talk" went over and over until Bayonetta and Jeanne finally came back, finding a very green Naruto pleading the Fox to rip off the seal and kill him while rocketing back and forth in a fetal position.

Once the two witches were informed about said Talk, the people presents could testify that the very same Queen Sheeba self-summoned herself out of Inferno so to pound into oblivion the three idiots.

It was a very gory and gruesome scene.

Once Naruto recovered from that torture he had to endure Cleopatra's Trial, meaning that he had to not fall for her while she tried seducing him doing...Interesting things to him and his nether regions, needless to say he passed...and his idea of sex had quite a positive rising on the wanted scale too.

By now the boy and two witches were using a rising platform to reach the top of the tower Cleopatra lived in, and her being the queen of the Lust circle of Inferno had the tower have that particular shape remembering a man's Pride.

"Shouldn't they be suffering? We are in Inferno right now" Naruto asked seeing as the souls that were battered by the everlasting storm around the tower were yelling, even if the occasional blissful moan could still be heard

"The world is full of masochists you know? Few of them REALLY likes to feel pain, even the one from the eternal damnation" said a voice

"Cleopatra-sama" the boy said bowing

An huge woman was climbing the tower following their platform, her sickly blue skin momentarily shining when a particularly strong thunder rocked the sky.

"You could have waited us on top, you know?" said Jeanne

"I wished to see my little champion, is time for you to sign your contract" said Cleopatra, her mouth with the two slashes that reached her ears twisting her grin in an even creepier manner

"You really can't wait to have my soul, don't you?" asked Naruto while the group finally reached the end of the tower.

"Unfortunately I never will be able to hold it as your soul is under the domain of Kami and Yami while I reside under the domain of the Devil and God, your death god used another loop just to obtain what he wanted...again, and all that just because he helped me not dying after I challenged that Dante, I hate when I owe favours to people" she said pouting, in her mind cutely, but actually scaring few demons with her expression.

"So what do you want in exchange of your help?" asked Naruto

"I'll give you a little mark on your hand, with that I want you to absorb the Lust from every woman you meet, then I will acquire it and use it to further power my little storm down here" said Cleopatra.

"Okay...I'm ready let's do it...I MEAN THE PACT!" said Naruto, before yelling as a now Human-sized Cleopatra started unzipping his pants

"Spoilsport" she whined before biting his left hand drawing blood.

On the back of his hand the blood formed the tattoo of a simple-looking heart with several black cracks on it, making it look like ready to crumble to dust at any moment.

"Done! every time you absorb Lust a crack is sealed, once the heart is whole you can unleash all you have stored at once so I can absorb it, but be careful because if you keep absorbing for too long you will have problems" said The Queen of Lust

"Problems?" asked Bayonetta

"It drains Lust by making it surface and then syphoning it, too long and even the more chaste of the virgins will jump him and rape him on the spot, well it doesn't sound like a problem to me by the way" Cleopatra answered

"Ok! .Thank you! .We are going!" said Naruto

"Are you sure you don't wanna stay a little?" teasingly asked Jeanne

"WE ARE GOING!" Naruto yelled again, he couldn't stand the place another minute.

For once the dark pits of the Inferno were rocked by the laughs of every soul present, demons and damned included, as the newly appointed Umbra wizard hastily left the place while blushing crimson.

Gates of Hell- once the trio came back

"Hurray! Our little man is now a truly wizard, I'm so proud of you" said Luka hugging Naruto

"Ya showed them little punk" said Rodin punching the boy shoulder

"Thank you guys, it was hard, but I did it! And stop laughing at the Hard word!" yelled the pale blond

"Now you finally got to use my treasures, do not brake them 'kay?" said Rodin as another woman entered the room

She had a pointy head and apparently no eyes, her skin seems literally made of porcelain, pure white with thin green lines and gold details on the head, arms and legs, silky golden blond hair flowing on her back.

"There you go little one!" she said (The enochian translator is not complete so let's just pretend she is talking like that)

She was holding a plate with a white and gold version of Bayonetta Scarborough Fair guns on it.

"Thank you Joy-neesan!" Naruto said grabbing his new guns and positioning them on his heels and back holster.

Joy was one rogue angel that was kicked out of Paradiso after the whole Jubileus ordeal, Rodin had found her wandering around with no place to go and somehow convinced her to stay with them (a drunken Enzo slurred that the whole convincing was about Jeanne and a Futa incident) after a while she softened out and accepted her new life enough to become Naruto's unofficial big sister.

His Overly Overprotective and Possessive big sister.

"Don't shoot off your feet" said Bayonetta

"Whatever...it's time isn't it?" said Naruto in a sad smile

"Yes, we have to take you back" said Jeanne

"It was amazing stay with you all, thank you for your help!" the boy said with a bow

"Nothing little one..it was nothing" said Bayonetta leading him into the portal and watching him disappear.

"..." a tense silence fell on the bar

"...I miss him" said Luka

Several heads nodded.

Elemental nation – forest around Wave

"Here we go, my adventure starts from here!" said Naruto once he stepped out of the portal

"Where do you think you are going young man?" reprimanded a voice

"Come on Kaasan! I haven't even started yet...Kaasan?"

"Just help me already!" yelled Luka dragging an huge box helped by Joy

"Luka-niisan! Joy-neesan!" said Naruto running towards them

"Do you really think that after spending SIX years of my precious time teaching you all that ninja stuff and our clan's magic I'll let you wander off and get killed?" said Bayonetta

"You are all here, but why?" the boy asked

"A mother should not let her son go without being sure he is capable of survive on his own!" proudly said Jeanne

"They all missed you, but was Bayonetta that practically forced us to come here" said Joy

"I knew it! You do have an heart, auntie!" said Naruto pointing at the glasses-wearing witch

"Auntie?...I like how it sounds" she said smiling

"So...what now?" asked Naruto

"Simple, Enzo stood behind since I don't think he would survive here, so he will cover us as the last survivors of a war that destroyed our village, for all those people we are the last six members of the mighty Umbra clan from Vingrid Hidden village" said Jeanne

"Six? Rodin came too?" Naruto asked

"Since after that mess with Jubileus the two reigns have closed every contact with this plane of existence, meaning that we are practically without a possibility of work, I may as well start a new local in Konoha with Luka working there with Joy and those two, as for me...I think I will be that Jonin sensei or how you ninja calls it" said Rodin appearing from the portal.

"Sensei? But I need other two people to have a gennin team"

"Then let's just find those two and have them join us" said Bayonetta walking towards Wave Country.

"WAIT! Someone please help me with the luggage! It's too heavy! Hey WAIIIT FOR MEEE!" yelled frantically Luka

Time skip – three months later – Konoha's Hokage Office.

Team 7 came back from a mission reporting the defeat of Zabuza and the end of Gato control over the country, but saying that someone had severely crippled the demon of the hidden mist because the supposed apprentice of the missing nin never showed up.

Normally this would not be a problem for Minato since his daughter was in the team as well as the last Uchiha (even if the very same Hokage despised the spoiled boy to the core), what was giving the Yellow Flash a VERY strong head-ache was the new group of eight people that entered his office barely few seconds after the end of the report.

"So...you came from this village in...what was the name again?" asked Minato

"Vingrid" said Rodin

"Never heard about it" said the brooding Sasuke

"Well my boy, it was an Hidden village for a reason" said Luka while shamelessly flirting with a purple haired ANBU

"We were destroyed during a war with an enemy village, among the two parties me and my family are the sole survivors because we were out for a mission or for other reasons, I lost my team during our trip here, but I found those two and formed a new team" said Naruto

"I understand, I'm sorry for your loss and still I couldn't help but be happy that at least your family and sensei are alive, do you really wish to join Konoha?" asked Minato

"Yes, before the whole massacre my team was selected to take part to the chunin exam held in our village, but the attack came a week before we even start" said Rodin

"Usually I could not let you partake to the exam, but I can still stress the whole procedure...but this mean for you to pass a month in our prison under heavy surveillance and sustain few round of interrogation and mind-walk, I can stop them from the torture, but if you lie we will know" Minato said with an hard face

"Bayonetta, Jeanne, Joy and Luka are civilians, so I don't think they will represent a menace for you all, can we ask you to treat them accordingly? I'm actually the first one in my family to undergo ninja training" said Naruto

"They will still be in prison with you and your team, but we will pay attention, we are not considered the strongest village for our cruelty, trust me" said Minato, he was feeling somehow at ease with that boy, just like if he knowed him.

"Thank you Hokage-sama" said the boy

"So? Present yourself and your team"demanded an ANBU behind them

"I'm Rodin, instructor of team Durga, I am interested in forging weapon" said Rodin

"I'm Haku, I am the former apprentice of Zabuza, but my team discovered an obedience seal on me and saved my life from being a soulless tool" said the girl at Naruto's left wearing a green battle Kimono.

Little flashback

The bridge was covered in a thick mist, hiding the fallen workers as team 7 and Tazuna walked in

"Here we are again Kakashi! It's time for our little rematch!" said the bandaged man suppressing a groan of pain.

For some reason Haku had only given him an half-asses medication, but he couldn't understand why.

"Zabuza! I won't let you kill our client!" said Kakashi uncovering his Sharingan

"We'll see! HAKU! KILL THOSE BRATS!" yelled Zabuza

"..."

"..."

"...Haku?...Any moment now" he called out again

From the shore a group of people were watching

"Are you sure you don't want to help him?" asked Naruto

"He used me, he will pay, It's simple" answered the girl.

-On the bridge-

"So you are alone" said Kakashi holding his hand that was surrounded by electricity

"Sure kill!" yelled Kiba going on all-four with his dog Akamaru behind him

"Uhn!" said(?) Sasuke holding a kunai

"Fall before my might!" yelled Minako charging holding a Tantou blade

"...mommy" Zabuza could only said in a whimper

In all Wave Country Girly screams of pain were then heard.

End flashback

"My name is Kimimaro Kaguya, my team found me in a cage were I was kept against my will, once they cured a terminal illness that was slowly kill me I join them, and now I will serve my Master at the cost of my life" Kimimaro had pale skin, vivid green eyes, masculine facial features with two dots on his forehead and shoulder-length white hair which he wore divided down the middle on his head .

"And finally you, my boy" said Minato with his eyes that had never left Naruto's face

"I'm...Luis Umbra, heir of the Umbra clan, I hope to be helpful so to repay your village for your generosity" said Naruto

"Very well team Durga, please follow the ANBU that will escort you to the prison, again I'm sorry, but I have to protect my village and people" Minato said to the group

"We understand Honey, don't worry" Bayonetta said with a wink, earning a blush from the village leader.

"Very well sensei, we will leave too" said Kakashi escorting team 7 out of the room.

Once everyone was out of the room Minato activated the Privacy seals inside his office before letting an older man with white hair and a red dress enter from the window.

"Jiraya-sensei" The Hokage saluted

"Minato" answered Jiraya

"What do you think about those people?"

"I'm way ahead of you this time Minato, I've already collected few information about them"

"And?"

"It was a pain trust me, but two months ago I had my spies reporting that a mysterious group of people had kidnapped the last user of a bloodline able to manipulate the bones of the body, that is that Kimimaro guy we saw earlier, but since he was treated like an animal I think that now he is happy at least"

"That's all you have about them?"

"Show some respect Minato, I am a super pervert, but I know how to find information about someone and that was just the beginning, it took a lot of effort, money and alcohol but in the end I found another informant from oversea that was in possession of what I need" said Jiraya giving a scroll to Minato

"Who was that informant? Usually you do not need to use money for information gathering" said Minato while reading the scroll and totally missing the scowl on the old man's face

"I had to use money because that fucker not only didn't know a word of our language so to force me to find an interpreter, but he was a fucking Leech with a suit!" Jiraya yelled enraged since those money came from his Research founds.

"To spill money from you I have to say that at least he knows how to sell his work, ero-sensei!" chuckled Minato

"Stop calling me like that! Damn that midget...Enzo I believe was his name, by the way, their story is true, their ninja villages were well hidden, but voices of fighting between Clans and whatnot were confirmed so apparently we really have a ninja team and few refugees from a damned bloodbath" said Jiraya opening the window to leave the room.

"I'll still keep them in cell, maybe that will hinder their possibility to pass the exam, but at least we will know if we can trust them, I'll have Inoichi looking deep in their minds just to be sure" said Minato

"Hey...do you never think about Naruto?" asked Jiraya out of the blue

"...Every day, but he had the Kyuubi soul sealed in him while his sister had the power, I had to choose" said the blond pinching the bridge of his nose

"That was your mistake, a father should never choose a son over another"

"IT WAS FOR THE BEST OF THE VILLAGE!" finally yelled Minato

"And your family? Even then..Look at you, Minako is spoiled rotten just like the Uchiha with the only difference that she was transformed like this by YOUR hands, you had practically every Jonin and ANBU privately teaching her, don't you think that I didn't know, I'm a spy-master for a reason, you had a son too, but I never saw nor you nor anyone else pay attention to him and both me and Tsunade regret this, I should have taken him as apprentice so to teach him, maybe he could still be alive by now"

"He had the Fox soul! What kind of power could have been mastered with that!" Minato asked

"He had some potential himself, you and all those idiots were just too focused on another target, but now he is dead and with him the Fox, congratulations! Now you all have the weapon of your dreams, just don't count on me or Tsunade to train it, now sorry but I have a little kid to show my respects to" The Toad sage said before jumping down.

"I lost my son, but at least I will still protect Konoha thanks to my daughter, sorry Naruto, but between the two I'm sure Minako will achieve great things...and me too considering that I outsmarted the Shinigami" Minato said watching a family photo of him and Minako with the girl sitting on the desk of his office.

"We'll see Minato...We'll see" said The Shinigami, smirking while finally all the pieces were ready for the Game.

The end! Now few answers!

Cleopatra is the same boss from the video-game Dante's Inferno.

No, Naruto is not God-like (sort of) he may have Minato's knowledge but he still has to train in order to effectively use what he knows, so even if he knows the theory behind the Rasengan he still must train to not have it blow up on his face.

The next chapter will start directly from the exam and I have few ideas to make the written test part interesting ( a little lime), Tenten is with him because he showed her a strong Will even after the beatings and the general hate.

Yes, I switched Hinata and Neji personalities, I thought it was something rarely done, The Futa incident I mentioned came ( no pun) from a doujinshi someone presented me, and even if I'm not into Futa it was well drawn in my opinion, long story short: Jeanne created a Futa potion to sell to erotic shops, suffering the side-effects she fucked Joy into submission, it sounded like a good excuse to have Joy to join the family.

You can find it if you are interested, it's part of my story after all ^^.

Bayonetta Accepted the whole ordeal out of personal gain, with that she will have The Death itself with a debt towards her, and if you know the game story enough, you should know what happen to a witch when she dies and having the Reaper owning you one could help greatly.

Naruto called Jeanne MOM just to make her happy ( he had feelings for her, but he will not be all like "let's be happy-happy family together" because it's not believable) and secretly because he saw in the group the family HE WISHED to have.

and Finally

Pairing: NaruTen (sorry, for me is a must) Naru/Minako

Occasional Naru/Kushi

Powers of Naruto

Pact with: Mistress Cleo (It's Lust we are talking about, so it's Mistress)

Beast within: a white Fox

Beast within (flying type): dove, white and gold wasp

Handguns: Twister Sisters (Chun-li, Morrigan, Samus, Tifa)