Okay, so...

I don't know how to say this...

I am suddenly so ashamed of the Phandom.

I mean...

I would never ever think of going on Dan or Phil's YouTube videos and screaming about how "that one moment TOTALLY showed how Phan is realzz!"

- or harassing Dan on Tumblr

- or bullying either of those men on the internet.

I

Am

Ashamed.

Dan having to change "HOT SEXY PHANTASTIC ACTION" to "Some Bloopers From Phil Is Not On Fire 4"?

Dan having to deal with angry tweets and tumblr asks?

Dan having to delete VYou comments from over a year ago?

Too.

Fucking.

Far.

Reading about these things on tumblr...

I actually almost started crying.

I felt fucking awful and ashamed and I didn't even DO anything wrong!

I didn't even know anything drastic was going on!

Then I started thinking about my phanfiction.

I started hating it. I suddenly don't want to write phanfics anymore.

But, lucky for you all, I still will write.

Why? Because I like the IDEA of them dating. I don't, and never would, think they are dating (unless it actually happens and THEY tell us) or rub in the idea that they have a "secret" relationship.

Yes, I do realize that my new friends on here are people I have said things to like, "Yeah, Philip! Stop hiding your feelings!"

I was joking. I will continue to make these jokes, too, because I love using sarcasm.

I remember reading a comment on one of Dan's videos.

It said something along the lines of, "Isn't it weird to ship two real-life people?"

and my immediate thought was, "Of course not! Why would it be?"

Then I realized something.

The only reason it's not weird to me is because I'm USED to it.

I had a friend not too long ago that gave me a handmade book that she wrote herself.

What was in it?

It was an entire book filled with oneshot fan fictions of ME with my close guy friends.

She shipped me with pretty much every guy friend I had, and they knew about it, too.

I loved reading those fan fictions. I loved looking at how she portrayed the imaginary romantic relationships between me and someone I actually knew.

I became immune to the weirdness of it all, so the idea of shipping Dan and Phil wasn't strange to me at all.

So, I apologize, in advance, to Dan and Phil. If you ever somehow come across this account or my phanfics, I'm sincerely sorry. I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable.

And, if you ask me to, I would immediately take them down. No questions asked, no explanations given.

I wish I was with them right now.

Not because they're "famous" or "cute" or "British".

No- because I actually want to be there for them, letting them know that I care.

It has struck me that deeply.

I can't stand the thought of either of them living life in misery and awkwardness with each other because of the ridiculousness going on.

You really want to tear them apart, don't you?

No?

Then stop doing this.

I thought they were shipped because they were "perfect for each other."

Guess what?

They are. Just not romantically.

And, romantically or not, it shouldn't matter.

That's none of our business.

All I can say...

I don't even know.

Just-

Shame.

On.

You.