Thanks so much to my beta, Scarlett_Kingston! :) She's the best and had to put up with all my whining and complaining while wrangling this chapter into shape. She's a saint.

While the Estate was sprawling and quiet, the Bristol flat was anything but. It was centered in a metropolis where there were noises of cars and people at nearly all hours. The rooms were much smaller too, as was the kitchen—which wasn't much of a kitchen at all; a kitchenette, perhaps. The microwave was tucked above the stove and was in need of a good cleaning out; bits and pieces of exploded food parts were sticking to the inside and it didn't seem like either Ori or Kili cared about its sloppy state. The sink was set in the space next to the stove, already overflowing with dirty dishes.

Fili's room was mostly untouched. Old posters hung in place, long forgotten schoolbooks squeezed into the single shelf above the desk. He set his suitcase to the side of his tiny bed, feeling like he's stepped into a time machine. His room had been cleaned as there was no dust on any of the surfaces and when he settled down on his mattress, the sheets smelled strangely fresh.

"Uncle told me you were going to be back for the funerals," Kili admitted, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the doorway to Fili's room. "I was going to convince you to come here to live again." He smiled, a tiny quirk of his lips. "Thank god I laundered the sheets, right?"

Fili rolled his eyes, a mix of feelings in his chest churning, extending its warm tendrils to his extremities. He hoped the rest of his belongings would be sent along soon.

"The kitchen's a mess. So is the living room."

Kili made a face and shrugged, not at all ashamed. "We're not always around. We try, though."

"I can see that," Fili said, deadpan.

Kili laughed and crossed the space between them, plucking the pillow out from under Fili's head and shoving it over his face. "Mister Observant," he said as Fili shook it off and threw it at Kili in retaliation.

It was strange to be here. Fili hadn't spent as much time in Bristol as he did at the Estate, but he expected Dis to come passing by his room at any moment, giving the both of them a pointed glare, and telling them that it was past their bedtime. But Dis wasn't here and it didn't matter when their bedtime was; they were both grown men now, not the boys they used to be.

The bed bounced as Kili landed on the empty space next to Fili with his knees. He fluffed the pillow and dropped it onto Fili's stomach before laying his head on top, giving an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Comfortable?" Fili asked. One of his arms was trapped under Kili's weight and when he wriggled it, Kili just wriggled back, settling further against him.

"Very," Kili replied, smug.

Fili rolled his eyes again and with his free hand, idly combed through his brother's hair. It was in a desperate need of a pair of scissors, having grown long over time, and judging from the knots that Fili was feeling, he wasn't very good with the upkeep either. He tugged lightly at Kili's hair, working out the tangles as best he could with one hand. Kili had his eyes closed, a serene expression on his face. Outside, Fili could hear the shrill sounds of a car alarm interrupting the otherwise relatively quiet night.

"I wish I didn't have work in the morning," Kili sighed.

Fili paused in his ministrations. It was a silly question, but he couldn't stop it from tumbling out of his mouth regardless: "You work?"

Kili grinned up at him. "Course I do," he replied. "There's bills to pay, Mum's off with Simun, and I'm not about to go ask Uncle for money."

He knew all of this, somewhere in the deepest recesses of his mind. It was the adult thing to do, after growing up. Get a job. Pay bills. Find love. Get married. Fili said the only thing he could. "Oh."

"Yeah," said Kili and he groaned as he raised himself into sitting position. "Productive member of society and all that jazz. Do I get a good night kiss?"

Fili pointed at the door. "Get out and leave my pillow alone."

"Tetchy," Kili said, but leaned in to peck him on the forehead anyway. Fili obliged him and then shoved him off onto the thin carpeted floor.

"Good night," he said with finality, a smile tugging at his mouth. Kili returned the smile with a wave and shut the door as he left.

Fili turned to his suitcase and prepared for bed.

The old, glow-in-the-dark clock hanging above the dresser had its hands pointing firmly at two o'clock in the morning and Fili was confused as to what woke him so abruptly. There had been a sound; muffled, like a gun with a silencer, but that had been in his dream.

There was a creak from the floorboards next to his bed, though in the darkness he saw nothing. He laid still, one arm dangling over the mattress and the other curled under his pillow, slowly clenching into a fist. Something soft brushed against his fingers. Fili breathed in deeply as the bed dipped, someone taking a seat on the edge of it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and counted backwards from ten.

"Why are you here?" he asked, his words coming out clipped and snappish despite the croak of sleep in it.

Kili didn't answer the question; instead, he slid under the covers next to Fili. "Move over," he said.

"What are you—don't you have work tomorrow?"

Kili hummed something that sounded like a confirmation and sprawled himself over Fili when he refused to budge, warm like a furnace and as heavy as the combat pack he had become accustomed to carrying. An arm snaked around his middle, securing him in place below Kili.

"This bed has never been big enough for the both of us," Fili said, but the complaint fell on deaf ears. Kili was settling himself in comfortably, head pillowed at the crook of Fili's neck.

"Doesn't matter," Kili mumbled after a yawn. "Shh, stop thinking. It's too late for that."

Fili could have pushed him off; it would have been so easy to grab Kili by the shoulders and throw him to the floor. Kili wouldn't realize what was happening, wouldn't even react in time, not with the way he was loose and drowsy. A fight would inevitably ensue and that would definitely wake Ori, who was sleeping in the master bedroom just down the hall. Fili clenched both his hands into fists and concentrated on steadying his breathing, doing his best to ignore the weight on his chest and the blossoming headache in his skull. His room was blessed darkness, only the fuzzy shapes of furniture visible in the dim glow of the clock hands.

"We're not at the Estate anymore," he said, nearly getting a mouthful of hair for speaking. "You can't keep doing this."

"Mmm," Kili replied. It wasn't an agreement, but neither was it a disagreement. He was avoiding an answer.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Go to sleep," Kili whispered. He sounded tired of the conversation. "We can talk later."

Fili sighed and closed his eyes, exhausted and not wanting to argue at such a late hour. He forced himself to relax, but was watching the moving shapes behind his eyelids, unable to sleep. The quiet ticking noise of the clock crescendoed in the silence, sounding like an ominous explosion waiting to be set off. Eventually, he passed out in between listening to Kili's deep, easy breaths and his steady heartbeat, pounding lively against Fili's ribcage.

It didn't seem like much time had passed when he was being jostled awake by Kili moving out of bed; it was morning now, with slivers of weak sunlight streaming around the blinds of the window, and a quick glance at the clock confirmed that it was a bit before six in the morning. Kili smiled back groggily when he noticed Fili was watching him.

Fili rubbed his eyes and pulled the blankets closer around him. It was strangely chilly this morning; it was one of those days where it was cold enough that no one wanted to get out of bed and Fili leached the remaining heat Kili left behind greedily. He couldn't hold his peace, not anymore.

"You're an idiot."

There was a measurable pause.

"That wasn't very nice."

"I know what you're doing. I know why. It's very flattering that you want me around, even when you're asleep. But this has to stop," Fili said, sitting up in bed, blankets and all. He pinned his brother with a withering glare and Kili stared back.

"What?" Kili's voice was on the border of a squeak.

"I'm not about to up and leave in the middle of the night. You really don't need to keep watch over me or whatever it is that you're doing because I'm not going anywhere. You asked me to come live with you and here I am, so stop being so paranoid." Fili waited for it to sink in before adding: "Idiot."

Kili blinked, his face schooled into an imperceptible mask of neutrality. He took a seat at the very edge of the bed, just out of Fili's reach. "I wasn't—"

"Yes, you were."

A short silence reigned between them; Kili stared wordlessly at Fili and Fili stared resolutely back. It was the dull shriek of Kili's alarm going off that jarred the both of them back to reality.

"Sorry, sorry," Kili muttered, grabbing his phone from the desk and switching off the alarm with an absent flick of his finger. His slackened fingers dropped the phone onto the carpeted floor and with it, whatever emotional control he wrested with internally. His eyes were filled with reproach, and beneath his resolve was an incomprehensible ferocity. "If you leave again—"

Fili surged forward on the bed, drawing Kili into an embrace. The blankets fell over them, comforting and cozy, and Kili buried his head against Fili's shoulder, his ice cold hands pressed against the fabric of Fili's shirt as he held on tight.

"This is why you're an idiot," Fili murmured.

"You're the idiot," came Kili's reply and Fili smacked him upside the head tenderly, fondly.

"I know you too well," Fili said. "You don't need to lie or hide from me."

Kili turned to look at him, brows furrowed. If there was any doubt left, Fili had to clear them and he seized the initiative, kissing Kili for all he was worth, pressing wordless promises of togetherness against Kili's mouth, forcing him to acknowledge that Fili was there, with him. Even after the seemingly long years of absence, they were still Fili-and-Kili, made as an unbreakable duo.

Kili was quiet and still at first, then slowly and gently, he kissed back, hands roaming and pushing them both down and back into bed.

"You're such a brat," Fili said against the curve of Kili's lips. He felt Kili smile and press a trail of tickling kisses down the side of his neck.

"Am I an idiot or a brat? Make up your mind," Kili replied and Fili thought that he sounded better, happier.

"Both," Fili shot back and groaned at the love bite that Kili no doubt was sucking onto his neck. "Oh, my god. Stop it."

Kili pulled back, a wide grin on his face and pressed a wet, messy kiss to Fili's temple. "Alright, alright. I'm off for a shower. You're welcomed to join me." He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and Fili laughed, shoving him out of bed with a single hand. It was becoming a habit.

"Christ," Kili said. "I'll never get used to that."

Fili sat up, worried that he might have pushed too hard.

"You okay?"

Kili leaned over, his dark hair falling in a terrible, seductive veil over his face, and whispered into Fili's ear: "You should hold me down sometimes; I think I'd really like that."

He was gone, out the door like a breath of air and disappearing from sight, leaving Fili with the heat pooling at the bottom of his stomach.Cheeky bastard, Fili thought as he put one foot on the floor, ready to get out of bed.

Ori, wearing a ridiculous plaid onesie, passed by the opened door and did a double-take. Fili scrambled for the blankets, securing them over his lap.

"Good morning," Ori said, blinking. Fili hoped he didn't look too out of sorts or kissed stupid and that everything could be passed off as a terrible night spent sleeping. It wouldn't be too far off the truth.

"Morning," Fili coughed, his voice sounding rougher than he liked. He used one hand to cover where he thought the love bite was, pretending that he was just waking up and scratching an itch.

Ori smiled, buying whatever Fili was projecting, and nodded. "Welcome back," he said. "Kili never did want to lease out your room. I'm glad you're here; he's a bit of a nightmare to live with. I'm not sure how you managed before."

"Benefits of being a brother, I suppose," Fili replied. "Imagine having to live with Nori or Dori?"

Ori made a face at that. "No, thanks very much." He immediately changed the subject. "Do you want some breakfast?"

It became routine for Fili to wake up earlier than Ori and Kili on weekdays. He made them breakfast—proper food, not just leftover takeout from weeks before—making sure they ate healthily and not just what they liked. Cleaning the flat took the whole first week; the kitchen took the better part of two days to tidy. Long dried unidentifiable sauces littered the countertops, giving it a sticky, glossy sheen. The cabinets had a strange shine to them that Fili discovered might have been oil at one point and the microwave looked like a nuclear fallout had happened inside.

Kili had been remarkably unhelpful with cleaning and Ori only marginally so. Fili was amazed that insects and mould hadn't taken over the whole kitchen yet.
After making sure they were properly fed, he went on his customary runs.

"Bye, Mum!" Kili would mockingly wave whenever he left. Fili never hesitated to give him the two fingered salute.

The neighborhood hadn't changed much since he was last here. The cross sections were busy and the local coffee shops were teeming with customers for the early morning rush. Students were seen walking to the public school that was several blocks from where he lived.

He was older now and not one of children walking to school. He was just another man on the street, jogging in the mornings. He wondered how they saw him.

When he returned home, Kili would have left for work by then and occasionally Ori would be sitting either at the kitchen table with several books or sitting on the living room sofa, laptop propped on his knees as he typed away. Fili hated to bother him during those moments. Mostly though, Fili got the place to himself and he picked up their schedules rather quickly. Kili worked from seven to four and Ori only had classes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

He finished simple tasks that needed to be done quickly and efficiently. Whenever Kili or Ori muttered a complaint about something that needed fixing, he did it, whether it was fixing the broken lock on the bathroom door or doing the laundry. The days blurred on by, the earth rotated, and Fili stayed in his locked loop.

"You're fussing," Ori commented one day. He was sitting on the sofa, surrounded by long winded papers.

Fili paused in straightening out the groceries in the kitchen. "What?"

"Not that it's a bad thing!" Ori said hastily. "I just…think you should get out more? You're always home and I think that sometimes…you're a bit…bored?" The longer Ori spoke, the higher his voice went until the last word which came out as a high pitched squeak.

"I do go out," Fili said, not quite sure what Ori was trying to say. He gestured to the groceries he was putting away.

"No," Ori shook his head. "I mean, with friends? Or…or maybe something you'd like to do? A hobby?"

Fili furrowed his brows. "Am I being a bother?" he asked.

Ori frantically shook his head, reminding Fili of a frightened animal. "No! Not a bother!" He blinked and reeled himself back in. "Would you like to come out for a drink with me and my colleagues? We're planning on going Friday. In the evening. When everyone's free. You should come. Please?"

For someone whose mastery was in the field of literature, Ori wasn't very eloquent with spoken words. He had always remembered Ori to be on the shy side and he thought the contrast between Ori's verbal and writing abilities was quite endearing. Although, it was strange as he hadn't seen Ori stumble over sentences when conversing with Kili.

"I'm not much of a drinker or a book reader," Fili said. "I don't know if I'll be able to keep a conversation at all."

"Just—just come?" Ori pleaded. "I'll ask Kili to come too, if it'll make it more comfortable for you."

Fili stared at Ori for a moment and then relented. Ori only means well, he thought to himself. It couldn't hurt to go.

"Fine," Fili said. "I'll go if Kili goes."

Ori beamed, relieved. "Okay!" he exclaimed and whipped out his cell phone, immediately texting someone on it, thumbs moving at a lightning speed over the touchscreen.

Fili returned to putting the rest of the groceries away. The fridge was fully stocked now, not like the typical student fridge it used to be. Instead of the frightful amount of bottles and cans of alcohol, enough to make a Christmas tree that reached the ceiling, there were vegetables and dairy and fruit and meat.

He didn't feel like cooking then. He kept the fridge stocked when he could; Kili had a big appetite and Ori, for someone so quiet, was particular about his food. Some days he cooked the evening meal in lieu of anything to do, but tonight was not one of those.

Fili was afraid of staying in the flat any longer and so, grabbing only his money and keys, he quietly left the building and went out into the street. The sun was gently setting and the traffic moved at a sluggish pace.

Kili would be home soon.

The park by the Avon was far by foot, though he traversed it step by step. There were couples walking in loving tandem through the roads, and his impression of the park—made so long ago—was of solitude. It was everywhere in the twilight, hushing the trees and the giggling lovers, seeping up through the serrated sides of the road.

He jogged along it, hoping to clear the ugly, complicated tangle of thoughts in his head, and when he doubled back, he became aware of a second jogger following in his steps.

He'd recognize Kili anywhere.

Silence was exchanged between them, their pants of breath answering notes to a symphony made only for them in the dwindling light of the day.

Fili lead the run, Kili half a step behind him as he always used to be. He was half a step behind him the day they got in trouble for trying to sneak one of Bombur's pies. Its crust had been golden and crisp and Fili had wanted dessert immediately instead of supper, but he had burned his grubby little fingers on the pan. He hadn't realized the pies came straight out of the oven and in his pain, he stepped backwards onto Kili's toes. Kili was half a step behind him when Fili got his first driving lesson. He didn't know Kili was behind him then and almost slammed the car door on Kili's fingers.

He was aware of Kili now, the easy way he kept up with Fili as they ran.

It was getting dark and there was nothing that Fili could run away from. He slowed and stopped, Kili echoing his actions.

"Done?" Kili asked. He handed Fili the extra coat hanging from his arms.

Fili shrugged. "For now."

Kili flashed a quick smile, out of breath.

The walk back to the flat was lengthy and drawn out, Kili insisting on meandering the long way home at the slowest pace possible. They passed by warmly lit restaurants and shops, loud pubs, and closed cafes.

Kili laced their fingers together as they walked and Fili almost balked at the action. He was here in one of the most populated cities of England, at night, where no one in the world knew they were brothers.

They turned down a less crowded street and Fili pushed Kili up against the nearest vertical surface, aligning their bodies to fit flush against one another. He leaned forward and Kili met him half way in a fervent, hungry kiss. It was as much a reassurance as it was a greeting, an apology, an I-missed-you, that sent a dizzying rush of blood straight to Fili's groin.

There was a loud cheer from behind them and Fili ducked his head in embarrassment at the group of friends that walked past. They seemed a little drunk too early in the evening, but Fili himself was feeling hazy and inebriated and very brave.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but you have to know," Kili said. He had quirked an eyebrow at the group that passed them, but otherwise didn't react.

"I already know," Fili insisted, resting their foreheads together, feeling their breaths mingle and linger until he wasn't sure whose breath was whose.

"I care. A lot," Kili said. "I hate not being able to tell anyone."

"I know," Fili replied and kissed him again, tender, soft, slow.

When they separated, Fili asked: "Did you eat yet?"

Kili shook his head.

"Let's get dinner."

They chose an Italian place and sat in a cozy corner holding hands through the meal. When Kili tried to get him to reenact a spaghetti noodle scene from a kid's movie, Fili had laughed and stole his unguarded meatballs. It still ended with a kiss.

The world didn't explode. They weren't brothers, just two people in a big city in love, and the waiter had smiled at them.

"Ori's worried," said Kili in between bites of his spaghetti. He had a slight frown on his face as he thought. "I'm worried. He said that you tend to stay at home too long and too often with nothing to do. Will you come, on Friday?"

Fili shrugged. "I suppose," he said.

"I won't push you," was what came out of Kili's mouth, but the expression he had on his face told a different story.

"I'll go," Fili promised and on impulse, he tugged Kili into another kiss.

Kili smiled against his mouth. "Okay."

When Fili paid for the meal, he made sure to tip the waiter extra.

That was how, on Friday, Fili found himself bundling up in one of his many old tawny colored peacoats. It was well into autumn now and the weather was turning into something downright nasty, but what was England without rain or cold? The weather had been one of the things Fili missed when he was abroad, but now that he was back, he found himself liking it less than he thought he would.

Kili was sitting in the middle of Fili's bed, already dressed in a nice looking blue coat. If Fili didn't know better, he might've guessed that Kili was sneaking candid photographs with his phone.

"I hope you're not taking pictures," Fili warned, buttoning the last of his buttons. There was one up by the collar that was hanging on by a single strand of thread and he made a mental note to patch it later when he got back, provided that it didn't fall off some time later in the evening.

"Nope!" Kili replied cheerily, sliding his phone into the pocket of his trousers. "Ori's probably worrying himself into the carpet if you take any longer to choose your clothes."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to look presentable," Fili said. He wasn't at all like Kili, who seemed to look good in anything he wore. Fili was too well aware that he needed a brand new wardrobe; he had filled out in the shoulders and chest—and to his chagrin, his belly—which made his old clothes nearly impossible to wear. They were too tight, though Kili kept insisting they were fine.

"Sure, princess," Kili said, taking a hold of his shoulders and steering him out into the living room. Ori was wearing a knitted cardigan that looked quite warm to be in, though he was worrying his bottom lip. Perched upon his nose was a set of thick, black rimmed glasses that he used mostly for reading, though Fili suspected that he was starting to need it on a day-to-day basis. Ori's expression brightened when he saw them step into view.

"Shall we get going, then?"

Fili nodded, doing one last mental checklist. Wallet, right coat pocket; phone, left coat pocket; keys, inner breast pocket. Was there anything else? He couldn't think of any.

"Right!" Ori exclaimed with a sunny smile. "Everyone's already there waiting."

It was a gastropub near his school and it took a twenty-five minute cab ride to get there. Over its entrance hung a wooden sign, one with a prancing pony on it, and it looked warm from through the windows. Ori ushered them inside and Fili breathed a small sigh of relief to be out of the cold.

It became evident that Kili had met Ori's colleagues before, since he immediately spotted a group of five sitting around a large booth and cheerfully hollered at them. They recognized him in return and roared in delight, waving him over. Several of them already had mugs of drink on hand and there was a platter of finger foods at the center of the table, half of it already gone.

"You're late!" one of the girls exclaimed when they walked up to the booth. She was blonde, with stringy hair that she tied back into a ponytail and it wasn't until much later that Fili recalled her name to be Miranda. Ori made gesture with his hands that sent everyone sitting to scoot over and make space. Somehow, they managed to squeeze in, with Fili seated in between Ori and Kili.

"This is Fili, my new flatmate. The one I told you about," Ori introduced with a smile. "He just came back from Afghanistan."

"Oh, a brave soldier boy," someone commented. It was an old man, with wild grey hair and beard, smoking something sweet smelling from a pipe. He wore a tweed brown suit with elbow patches and a funny brown cap that had the remains of bird droppings at the top of it; his whole countenance reminded Fili of a hippie. He was just missing a pair of circular glasses and a headband.

He smiled at Fili and raised his pipe in a half salute. "You've come home alive. It's a good sign. Welcome back."

"That's Professor Brown," Ori said and Fili wanted to ask if that was his actual name or if it was because he wore the color from head to toe. He held his tongue because he didn't want to be rude. "He's higher than a smokestack right now. You can ignore whatever he says."

The professor didn't even look insulted at their exchange. He took a proud puff of his pipe and blew some impressively circular smoke rings into the air.

Bookish types, Fili thought, not for the first time in his life. Very strange.

After getting a drink, Fili found himself fielding questions left and right. There were some questions about his tours—interestingly, nothing about the actual deployment, but everything about the strangest things that left Fili wondering what the rest of the world actually knew about the Middle East.

"Were there mutant rats where you were?" a drunk, petite brunette asked. Fili was fairly certain her name was Roz or something like it. "What about spiders? I heard the ones in Afghanistan would hug your face and kill you!"

"That's a movie," Kili said, coming to his rescue when he couldn't find an answer for her.

"They say you can cook an egg on top of your car during the summer! Did you try?"

"No," Fili replied and sank a little lower in his seat. Kili glared at her and Fili was immensely glad for his brother being beside him.

"Are you single?" the loud blonde girl from before asked.

She was on her third drink and she was looking very red in the face. She sat across from Kili, at the very edge of the booth where her legs dangled off of the side of the seat so she didn't have to share leg room with everyone else under the table. Fili suspected Kili would be imitating her, if his foot wasn't too busy wrapped around Fili's ankle.

"Miranda!" Kili interrupted loudly before Fili had to muster a response. "You have a boyfriend!" He shot her a scandalized look. "What would he say?"

"No," she whined drunkenly. "Not for me. You're exactly my friend's type. Blond and hot. And dimples. She'd climb you like a tree."

Fili blushed to the roots of his hair and tried to hide behind his mug. "Erm, thanks," he mumbled, taking a loud slurp of his beer. It tasted foul and smelled foul and was probably one of the worst shields he could hide behind. "Not looking for any sort of attachments right now."

"Oh, but you're free?" She smiled brightly at him, her gaze unfocused. "Just a date; you don't have to go home with her or anything. Talk to her. She'd love you. And me forever for setting you up."

Fili felt Kili's hand on his thigh, heavy and possessive. Kili's expression was schooled into a friendly grin, but from where Fili sat, it almost looked vicious.

"If it's that Scottish girl, she isn't good enough," Kili said, a strange cattiness to his voice. "She's a nutter and a slag. Besides, he said no. He's not interested."

Miranda stared at Kili and then to Fili and then back. "Who was I talking to?" she finally asked, words slurring together. She put her head down in her arms and sighed loudly. "Oh, why am I swimming?"

"I told you to pace yourself," a stout, dark haired man next to her said. "Up you get, I know how you are. To the loo, now."

Miranda slowly got to her feet with some help from her friend, who Fili couldn't recall the name of for the life of him—Ned? Fred?—and she tottered off to the restroom with him following behind her like a careful bodyguard.

"Her boyfriend?" he whispered to Kili.

"Best friend," Kili replied. The fake grin had disappeared off his face and he was staring at Fili with a strange intensity. It wasn't the alcohol; Kili could handle more than one drink and Fili hadn't even finished a quarter of his. There was something dark and lusty in his gaze, no traces of mirth whatsoever. Fili reached for his mug again. His throat was suddenly very dry.

The night went on and Fili continued to find himself being brought into conversations, even on topics he had no knowledge of. He received a very wordy rant from a half-drunk Ori about the poor reading curriculum in public schools and half of the table argued against him or for him. Fili could barely remember what books he read. He knew the great works; Great-grandfather had been unbending on that issue, but it had been so long since he'd even thought about it, he found that he couldn't remember anything except the titles. It was like his childhood was a washed out smudge, the only memories that stuck out with clarity were the ones with him and Kili.

He worked through his first drink and was on his second; it had appeared out of nowhere in front of him and when he finished his first, he immediately grabbed at it before it disappeared. The more he drank, the more he listed towards Kili, eventually settling completely on Kili's shoulder when his head started to get too heavy to hold up.

"You're gay!" Miranda chirped suddenly, bringing every conversation at the table to a stop. She had come back to the table slightly less drunk, but still red faced and bright eyed. Her tankard had been swapped out for a glass of water ages ago.

"Miranda, you're drunk, please stop talking," her stout male friend said. He shot Fili an apologetic look. "Sorry, she gets socially awkward when drunk."

"No, no," Fili found himself saying, the words spilling out before he could stop them. "I think I am."

Ori choked on air next to him.

Kili's grip on his thigh got tighter. It was heavy and hot and felt so good; he wished it would move higher.

"I think you've drank enough," Kili said, taking Fili's drink away from him. When he protested, Kili downed it all in one breath. He held up the empty mug with a smile. "No more."

Fili rolled his eyes. He'd try to sit up straighter, but his spine felt like jelly and leaning into Kili was altogether a better choice than trying to sit with proper posture.

"Hmm. Brat. I'll remember this."

Kili's smile widened and in that moment, Fili wanted nothing more than to be alone with him. Kili must have thought the same because he stood up abruptly, knocking Fili off his balance and slamming the back of his head against the seat. He was lucky that the booth was cushioned or he'd complain about a concussion.

"Right, he's had too much to drink," Kili said hurriedly, smile just a bit too bright. "Come on, Fili. Let's go." Kili hauled Fili up by the collar of his shirt roughly and Fili couldn't get his legs under command. He ended up crashing into Kili instead. Firm arms reached around his waist to prop him up against a solid shoulder.

Miranda giggled loudly, like she knew some sort of secret, though both Fili and Kili steadfastly ignored her.

"Nice meeting you all," Fili called out before Kili hauled him away. "Later, Ori."

There was a chorus of good-byes, yet when they were just a short distance away, he heard Miranda shrieking; "Why didn't you tell me that was Kili's boyfriend?"

They left the building before Fili could hear Ori's response.

Outside was cold; the blast of air was a shock and almost enough to sober them up, but Fili couldn't stop leaning against Kili and Kili didn't seem at all inclined to remove his arm from around Fili's waist. In fact, he held on tighter than before.

"Home?" Fili asked. His tongue felt numb in his mouth and his throat was dry. Forming words was a herculean task and it felt like his head was floating in the skies. He plucked absently at the belt around Kili's trousers. He was so very drunk.

Kili made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "Why are you such a lightweight," he muttered, but there was no anger in them, only fondness. Then, louder, he said, "Yes, home. We're taking a cab."

Fili felt himself being manhandled down the street as Kili waved enthusiastically to catch the attention of a cabbie. He couldn't, for the life of him, remember actually getting into the cab, but he must have, as the next moment he and Kili were at the front door of their flat.

"Magic?" Fili muttered against Kili's chest.

"No, you fell asleep on me," Kili replied, amusement lacing his voice as he fumbled the keys.

He finally managed to get the door opened after much snickering on Fili's part and the first thing he did was throw the keys to the floor. It bounced into some shadowed corner of the room, most likely needing a search party in the morning.

"Did you have to say that?" Kili asked. "Did you have to encourage her?"

"What?" He had said many things throughout the course of the evening and nothing in particular or important jumped out at him.

"Miranda!" Kili said. He sounded frustrated.

"I didn't do anything," Fili replied. He thought harder at what transpired, but all he wanted to do was lay down and not think. Maybe even go to sleep again. It was like crossing through a thick slog of mud; his thoughts were a jumble and he seemed to have grown two left feet in addition to having jelly for a spine.

He tried to untangle himself from Kili, but his brother was having none of it. Kili hauled him bodily onto the sofa, fingers digging deep into Fili's old coat. The one button already hanging on by a loose thread snapped off and rolled out of sight.

The kiss that came next was not entirely unexpected. Kili was aggressive and obstinate, pressing their mouths together in bruising, furious kisses. They fell backwards into the cushions, already old and well-worn. Fili remembered sitting on the very sofa watching telly years ago, sometimes with Kili, sometimes with Dis, and sometimes with both.

Fili reached up to grab at Kili's shoulder, though in his drunken state, he ended up pulling Kili's jacket half off.

Kili grunted something unintelligible and shrugged off the offending piece of clothing, tossing it somewhere over the sofa without a second thought. His fingers worked at Fili's coat buttons when Fili himself fumbled at it, unable to make heads or tails of how they worked.

It was frantic and heated and Fili was getting so, so dizzy. He shed his coat, dropping it onto the carpet and almost immediately Kili's hands were all over him, running over the planes of his shoulder, fingers scraping down the back of his shirt and then pulling up the hem to expose his abdomen. He was kissing, licking, sucking, and biting at Fili's chest in an instant.

"Not out here," Fili gasped, managing some semblance of speech and clarity of mind in between kisses. He was aroused and terrified and giddy and much more awake than before; Kili didn't seem to want to listen and continued to divest him of his clothing, nearly ripping the shirt in two as he yanked it the rest of the way over Fili's head. His fingers went after the opening to his trousers next and Fili batted his hand away.

"Not here," Fili insisted again, forcing Kili to listen.

Kili met his gaze and muttered something completely filthy that had Fili laughing at his frustration.

"Come on," Fili said, summoning what little coordination he had to rise off the sofa.

They ended up in Kili's room because it was closer. The moment they got the door opened, Kili flicked on the lights and was pushing against him again, pressing their lips together in heated, opened mouthed kisses. Fili groaned as his shin hit the hard corner of Kili's bedframe. It wasn't the old metal one that Fili recalled, but one of sturdy wood. The bed was bigger too, not as large as the ones they had on the Estate, but definitely bigger than the one Fili had in his room. Old posters and toys were nowhere to be seen and for a moment, it didn't look like a room that Fili recognized at all. It was neat and clean and so unlike the whirlwind that was his brother.

Something shifted then; maybe his thoughts had been too visible on his face or Kili knew him too well, but the frantic greediness of their motions slowed.

"Alright?" Kili asked, mouth marking a trail down Fili's neck. "I can stop."

"I will kill you if we stop now," Fili answered and felt the responding chuckle reverberate against his own chest, the sensation making his toes curl in pleasure.

"It was a mistake to go tonight," Kili said, working on pulling Fili's trousers off.

"They were nice people."

Kili grunted. "They were making you uncomfortable."

"Can we not talk about this now?" Fili snapped.

Kili paused and nodded. "Later," he mouthed into Fili's skin, making Fili arch into his touch. Finally, the last article of clothing was stripped away.

It was the first time that Fili's ever seen adult Kili naked. He kept the perfect skin tone throughout his body, something that Fili didn't have. He still had a tee-shirt tan, though that was quickly fading thanks to English weather and the onset of autumn. He reached up and tugged lightly at the dark hair that ran over Kili's chest, watching as Kili shivered at the touch, eyes drooping closed leisurely. Fili returned the earlier favor and kissed a trail down from Kili's neck to his chest and over his belly and lower. He felt the thin vibrations of the strained whimper that fell from Kili's mouth and the consuming fire fanning Fili's actions lit ablaze even brighter.

He flipped their positions and pushed Kili down onto the mattress, though it didn't take much of an effort, not when he was willing and pliant like this. He liked it though; he liked how Kili reacted to his touches, how open his expressions were. Kili's cock was straining, red, begging to be touched, and Fili obliged.

"If you take any longer, I'm going to die," Kili complained.

"You can't die of blue balls," Fili said even as Kili groaned and pushed his head down. "Impatient, much?"

Kili growled. "When did you get so wordy?"

Fili tilted his head and licked a stripe down the side of Kili's cock, unable to stop the grin from forming on his face when Kili's hips bucked. One of Kili's hands buried itself in Fili's hair, pulling lightly on the strands. He obeyed the wordless command and took Kili into his mouth, licking and tasting as he went down the length, swallowing until he felt it bump against the back of his throat. He hummed tunelessly, hollowing his cheeks as he sucked, bobbing his head up and down on the cock in his mouth. The hand in his hair tightened.

"Oh, god—" Kili choked into a keening whine, hips bucking off the bed. Fili pushed him down effortlessly, forcing him to stay still. It wasn't long until he felt the body below his tensing, going taut like a string. Kili's eyes were bright and unfocused, but he stared back at Fili and he groaned, guttural and deep.

"Fili—" he said and it was the only verbal warning that Fili had before Kili was spilling into his mouth, the taste of come bitter and salty on his tongue. He swallowed it all without choking.

Kili made a strangled gasping noise, his eyes rolling into the back of his head when Fili pulled off with a bold, wet pop.

"Holy fuck," Kili cursed in between breathy pants and yanked Fili up for a filthy opened mouthed kiss. He fumbled at Fili's erection, having been ignored the whole time, and he gave it an experimental pump. Fili hissed at the sensation, nearly biting into Kili's tongue. Fili could tell he had never had sex with another man before. His touches were hesitant and he didn't quite seem to know what to do.

"Tighter," he instructed, his voice coming out rougher and deeper than he meant it to. "Faster."

Kili followed faultlessly and learned quickly with kisses and verbal cues as encouragement. Fili knew it was almost embarrassingly short, but after Kili got his grip just the way Fili liked it, he was coming into Kili's hand, a high pitched moan escaping his mouth, unbidden. Kili kissed him roughly, swallowing the sound.

"Christ," said Kili, leaning his forehead against Fili's. They were both breathing harshly, like they'd run marathons, and Fili smiled. He pressed a kiss to Kili's bare shoulder and stole the lone pillow on the bed to lay his head on.

"Going to regret waking up tomorrow," Fili said with a yawn. He nearly missed the confused look Kili sent him and tapped at Kili's jaw. "Not getting clean right after sex," he clarified.

"Oh." Kili looked at his hand, still covered in Fili's come, and made a face. He wiped it off on the sheets as Fili laughed.

"Move over, pillow hog," Kili said, wrapping sweaty limbs around Fili. He nuzzled in under the soft part of Fili's jaw, tickling the already sensitive skin there. A hand came to rest over Fili's waist, fingers tracing a pattern over his bare skin. It was ticklish, but he didn't even have the energy to squirm. The fingers moved just a bit higher. Fili glanced over at Kili, but Kili wasn't looking at him. His eyes were focused on where his fingers were.

"Will you tell me?" he asked. Fili thought that he could feel Kili tapping out a rhythm over the scar.

"One day," Fili answered, pushing his hand into Kili's and entwining their fingers. "Not tonight."

Kili's response was a humming noise as he closed his eyes, a small, silly smile on his lips. Fili was about to follow suit when he remembered the clothes they left in the living room and the opened door to Kili's room. He turned to see, but the door was shut tight.

"Stop thinking," Kili mumbled.

Fili frowned, not remembering when they'd closed the door. Then again, he had been too distracted by Kili; for all he knew, they could have slammed it behind them and he probably wouldn't have noticed.

"Alright," he agreed, yawning again. He closed his eyes and sighed, letting go of the niggling worries in the back of his mind, and slowly falling into a dreamless sleep.