Finally, there is another chapter. Hurray!

I hope you all will like it since it will take a while to the next one.

I read your reviews (thank you by the way) and I know this fic is kind of a little strange for some people. I read the review from one guest and I'm really sorry that you are confused. If you had a own account on , I could send you a long PM with answers on the things you do not understand.

Disclaimer: I do not own this game. I think everyone understands that.

Warnings: Bad spelling (of course), yaoi, blood, games, boy on boy and much more.

Last time on Emono dekiagari omaesan:

The Master smirked. Their time was up. They hadn't said anything for a while, but what would that matter? He had heard their little conservation they had had about Player 1's decision. Player 2 hadn't sounded happy at all. More heartbroken that is.

That made the Master happy. To let Player 2 punishment be emotional than physically was much better.

The Master pressed the speaker button. He would finally get an answer.

"Greeting's players. Do you have an answer for me?"

And now, Chapter 18: Shapes of your own choosing.

XXX

No, no, no, no, no!

This was not going out as planned.

The Master paced back and forth in the dark room. The screens to the arena was still off and so was the speakers.

How dared they refuse his orders. Well, there haven't been exactly orders, but more like an offer they couldn't say no to.

But still they had.

Furious, the Master paced, with his hands behind his back.

This was not going out as he had planned.

Player 1 was supposed to say yes and leave the arena and go with the Master, but instead he had said no.

But then… Wouldn't Ludus Dominus wonder?

How did Ludus Dominus know what happened all the time. There were no cameras that kept watch over the Master. How did Ludus Dominus know what happened all the time? Why hadn't he called then? If Ludus Dominus saw and heard what happened to the players, wouldn't he call and yell at the Master?

But…

The Master was the game ruler.

Right?

It was he who decided when the game would begin and when it would stop.

Or… Wait. No, it was Ludus Dominus who decided those kind of decision. The Master was just a watcher for the players. Watching to make sure that they played by the rules and didn't get away. The Master was Ludus Dominus loyal servant. He was an important man for the game. He was a game ruler. He was a…

… A henchman.

No!

No! Player 2 could not be right! He was just a dust on the floor. A fly that was just in the way, trying to irritate him. The Master shouldn't think like that. He was no henchman!

The Master flinched as he felt a strong pain struck in his head.

The headache.

It was back.

The Master growled as he went fast into the bathroom. Quickly, he opened the cabinet and grabbed the bottle. As the Master opened the bottle, poured out two pills, and quickly swallowed them dry. He noticed that it wasn't so many pills left in the bottle. The Master sighed as he sank down to the floor.

It took a while, but after some minutes he could feel the pills kick in and the pain slowly went away. He stared at the bottle he held in his hands. If the pain was going to come this often, the pills would run out very fast.

Besides, he didn't know even how to explain why it was no longer available to see what was going on in the arena to Ludus Dominus. He hadn't called the Master, so probably he hadn't noticed it yet. But when he did, he was going to call. The Master knew that. But how was he supposed to explain his action to Ludus Dominus?

He couldn't tell him what he wanted. To harm or even touch any of the players were against the rules. And he couldn't just ignore when Ludus Dominus called him, right?

Ludus Dominus was his saviour. His leader. His God.

But that was nothing to worry about now.

Putting the bottle back in the cabin, the Master left the bathroom and walked toward the basement.

He was going to hold his end of the bargain.

It would be hard to find the switch that controlled the water. But even if it took hours, he was going to turn off that water.

XXX

It had gone a couple of hours since we had given the Master our answer and we hadn't heard from him since. After we had spoken with the Master, Axel had sat on the bed with me in his lap. Held me close, caressing my back and thanked me, over and over again, that I hadn't left. When we had sat there on the bed Axel had seemed like a complete different person. Not that cocky attitude, bald, not afraid of anything Axel. But more like a scared little child that had been afraid that I was going to leave him. I can't blame him. I really thought about leaving. I really did. But I seriously doubted that I had made out the door without Axel tackles me to the floor.

After an hour with nothing more than hugging each other, my legs had started to ache and we both agreed to let go and let our legs stretch out a little. Axel had checked if the water in the sink and bath tub really was shut down, since he thought that the Master only had talked empty threats and had not shut off out water supplies. He came out the bathroom only to confirm that the Master had spoken the truth.

"It's okay, Roxas. We'll be fine." Axel assured and smiled at me.

I stared at him. How could he say that?

We won't be fine. We have no water. How long will we survive without that? Sure, we still have some power bars in the bag, but still no water. I remembered that I had read in school how weak and fragile the body becomes without water. The human body can live days without food, but two days with no water is dangerous!

I can't take this anymore. I want to be found. I want US to be found! I want the cops breaking down that damn steel door right now and take us away from here. I want… hell, I even want to see my mom. I want to tell her that I love her, how hurt I feel when she pushes me aside to be with someone else. I want to yell at her. Tell her thing I probably never even would think telling her about. About how much I hate when she chooses some guy before me. How she doesn't seem to care about me. I want to tell her all that, the things I wanted to say to her a year ago. Things I didn't dare to even say out loud before. The conservation I felt too weak to talk about. But I feel stronger now. More… confident. Now, with Axel by my side.

I want to tell her about Axel. That I have found love. Someone who I like and likes me back.

She probably won't even listen to anything I got to say. Heck, I don't even know if she knows I'm gone. But I think so. She must know that I'm gone by now. Or at least I hope so.

"Roxas?"

Being taken away from my thoughts I looked up only to see Axel sitting beside me, with his arm around my shoulder, observing me with his green eyes.

"We are gone fix this, okay?" Axel says, and I can hear confident in his voice. "We are gone be fine."

I sigh, not saying anything.

I really hope so. I really hope so.

XXX

At first, I didn't feel the need to have something to drink. Neither did Axel. Or that was he told me at least. Maybe he was thirsty and just didn't want me to know, because he knew that I would blame myself. But after a couple of hours, the dry feeling in my throat started to build and I knew that my body was in need of water. But I didn't say anything to Axel, didn't want to tell him my problem about being thirsty while he probably was thirsty as well.

What if the Master asked us again. Offering us again water to get me. Why did he want with me? Maybe he just wanted to scare us to separate us for a while, or was planning to kill me? The worrying feeling started to build up in my stomach as I thought.

Was I meant to die now? Did he get bored of the game he have been talking so much about or did I do something wrong? If he did mean to kill me, why didn't he just get in here and did it? Or take my inhaler away? I have asthma. An attack and no inhaler could get me killed. Or was this all just a part of the game? We where the players, Axel and I, without us would mean no game. The game was the only reason this man did this, so why kill us before we lost the game?

But that wasn't the most important question right now. The things I should worry more about now was if the Master would give us another offer and what we should answer to that.

I had tried to take up the subject with Axel again, but he only raised his hand, showing me to stay quiet, and then whispered in my ear that the Master might be listening to us right now and he didn't want the man to hear us talk about what to do next. Really, I just think it was an excuse not to talk about it, so we didn't need to bring up the subject what would happen to us if we didn't get any water. But I closed my mouth and stayed quiet as we both sat on my bed, in the silent room, thinking.

After an hour or so, I could feel my stomach twist and I felt hungry. Axel and I shared one of the power bars, chewing on them is silent as the sand dry bars only made us more thirsty than before. I looked over at Axel, he seemed in such deep thoughts as he chewed on his little meal, when he stared at the wall. Maybe he was thinking of a way to get out. He had come up with the first escape plan, that unfortunately failed, but was effective.

"What are you thinking of, Axel?" I asked, taking another bite of the bar in my hand.

Axel brought himself from his thoughts and turned to look at me. "You, of course." He stated, giving me a reassuring smile. I smiled back, hoping that he would soon start to talk about a new plan how to get us out.

But he didn't.

The hours went, with none of us talking very much or long, and I felt my eyes getting heavier. I still hate that there is no clock in this godforsaken room. Since we didn't know the time, we could only wait till our bodies told us they were tired before we put ourselves in the beds, or in our case my bed.

Axel made some dry joke that we didn't need to brush our teeth and I smiled, even that the joke only made me think about water that I felt I wanted to drink, right now. The thirsty feeling had come and gone for the last hours. In one minute you wouldn't even think about water and then next feel how your throat begged for a sip or just a mouth full of something to drink.

XXX

The phone had been ringing all night. It had been Ludus Dominus. He probably wanted to know what have happened to the camera's view of the arena. The Master didn't dare to answer, only stared at the phone as it rang and rang.

It can't go on like this. If this continues to go one, Ludus Dominus might come over self. The Master can't let that happen. He would kill him. Or worse, take away his arena. Take away the game from him. Take away his medicine. Take away his title as the Master.

No!

He can't do that! He is the Master! It's he who takes care of the players in the arena! It's he who makes sure that they play the game! He is the ruler! No one else!

It was all the players fault. If they had done what I had wanted in the first place, the Master wouldn't be in this mess right now. Player 2. It was he who made player 1 doubt to take the deal. That the Master was sure of. They sure was affected by each other. That was obvious.

But how could the Master make them do the things he wanted? The Master wanted player 1. Simple and easy. But they refused. They had said no. Rather taking the punishment, to live in the arena with no water, then simply doing the thing the Master wanted.

Why had they been so stubborn?

But the Master would get what he wanted.

The sound from the phone where irritating, but the Master tried hard not to think of it.

He had no intention to back away from his plans now. Not when he came up with a new plan to get player 1.

The Master wanted player 1. And if the Master had to take strong measures to get him, he would do so.

The Master stood up from his chair and walked toward the kitchen.

The Master would make sure that he got what he wanted.

XXX

-Dream-

I feel something soft touch my feet. I know it's grass, but I can't think the word.

Then I hear a big thud. And I see a car.

Someone drags me by my shoulder, leading me away from the loud noise.

What?

"Shh… It's okay, " Someone says.

"Wh- What?"

Everything changes and suddenly I sit on a couch and everything is shaking and blurry.

"If you could choose, Roxas, what would you like your life to be like?"

That voice… I heard it before. I try to look up, try to see who it is, but all the colours and forms are fizzing through my eyes. I can't see anything clear enough.

My head spins around. Everything is spinning. Everything is dizzy. I'm dizzy.

"A game…" I hear my own voice say.

But it isn't me. It can't be! If I was saying that my mouth would say it! Well of course my mouth said it, but not my mouth!

The scene changes and suddenly I'm outside. It's cold and dark.

Everything goes round and round. I feel my legs weak. I fall to the ground, but it's not lawn. No, it's… a carpet. A thin, hard carpet. Where am I?

I sit on the couch, feeling the warmth in the room and bright light against my vision.

"I wish that I could live in a game…"

No, that's sounds wrong! It wasn't me who said that, it was the other me!

"… And play forever and ever…"

What is happening? Why is everything so blurry? What's going on?

"Roxas?"

"… And never come back to reality…"

No! Stop that! What is this? I can't remember this!

"ROXAS!"

-End of dream-

"Roxas, wake up!" I feel Axel's hands grab my shoulder tightly, shaking me awake from my sleep. "Roxas, are you alright?" Axel asks, anxious, staring at me.

I must have had a dream again. It had begun as a pattern now. We would fall asleep and I would often get awake by Axel, who would shake me and yell my name. I sighed deeply, feeling Axel's grip on my shoulders lose its grip and I brought myself up, lying on my forearm. Axel looked at me, seeming tense and worried, but soon relaxed as he saw me get up.

"Did you have another dream?" He asks, looking at me with a worried look.

I swallowed. I had almost forgot. He knows now. Axel knows about my dreams and what they are about.

I nod, but don't say anything, staring down to my knees. Axel sighs, laying one of his hands on my knee, not saying anything either. I'm grateful for that Axel doesn't start to ask questions about my dream, since it all is different now.

The dream… it hadn't been about when I tried to kill myself. It was the other dream. My new dream. It had been fuzzy, like the other ones I had before, it had been mixed up with different memories. Or was it all just fantasy? I have no memory about me talking to anyone what I wanted. Where had I been in my dream? I must have been at a party, since it had been loud music and hard to hear. Perhaps it was a memory form where I was drunk? I couldn't remember the moment and everything had been dizzy in my dream. If I had been drinking in the memory I dreamed about that would make perfect sense. Who had I been talking with?

"Roxas, are you listening?"

"What?" I gazed up to see Axel look at me, still feeling Axel's hand pressured softly on my knee. It takes me a minute to pull my mind together and understand that Axel wondering if I was listening to him. Axel doesn't seem to mind that I hadn't paid attention to him as he just smiles a little down at me. He gazes a little up to the camera, before turning his eyes on me, leaning near my ear and whispers.

"I got us some water."

My eyes open up in surprise. Water? How did he get water?

"How did yo-" I start, but Axel quickly covers my mouth with his hand and gazes up at the camera again. Why did he… oh, I didn't whisper. I almost spoke up so loud to let the Master know that Axel had found us water. Stupid me. Slowly, Axel lets his gaze from the camera and turns to me, as he took off his hand from my mouth.

"We have to speak quieter." Axel told me in a whisper and I could tell that he was worried that the Master might have heard us.

"Yeah, sorry." I apologized with the same quiet tone as Axel's.

Axel gave me a reassuring smile, showing that it was alright, and started to whisper.

"I was thinking last night about what options we had to get water or trick him to get us water. And then it hit me. The water in the toilet!" Axel explained with a triumph. I frowned. The toilette water? Isn't that dangerous to drink?

"I know what you think." Axel whispered before I had a chance to say anything. "But toilette water is clean to drink as water from a sink. Since he turned off our water supplies the toilette may not give us more water if we flush, but the water I have collected in the plastic cups will give us some time."

I can't believe it.

We have water!

… Well, toilette water, but in a time of need anyone would do anything crazy. I felt how dry my throat was and I felt relieved to know that we had water now. Axel and I got up from the bed, into the bathroom, where Axel showed me two plastic cups, filled with water, that was hidden behind the toilet, away from the bathroom cameras view. Axel smiled like a mad genius when he told me that he might be able to get more water if we broke one of the pipes to the sink, since some water may still be stuck in there. He reached down and brought one of the mugs to me. The water didn't taste any different than the one from a regular sink, a little more plastic flavour but that didn't bother me. We had water now. We both took turns to drink from the cup until it was empty. Axel then filled the empty cup with more of the toilet water and placed the cup next to the other.

I smiled, looking at Axel. I felt a warm feeling in my chest as he smiled back at me with his soft smile. Everything could actually go well for us now.

Clank.

Axel and I turned both our attention to the steel door. The sound of something metallic touching the ground made my breathing stop for a second.

What was that? Had the Master sent something to us trough the letter flap down the steel door? I tried to step out of the bathroom, but Axel caught my hand and pushed my behind him. I grunted, but let Axel do as he wanted. Axel stepped out the bathroom with a slow pace, with my hand in his, and I forced myself not to push him to go faster. Since Axel is much taller than me, it's impossible to look over his shoulder and see what it was that had caused that sound. I tried to look around him, but found it impossible to move much since Axel held me firmly to stay behind his back.

Axel didn't say anything. He didn't seem to breathe either. What was happening? The Master must have pushed something inside the room for us, but what?

"Axel…" I said, pushing slightly at his back. Axel didn't budge. Instead he let go of my hand and made to the steel door and kneeled in front of it. I stood frozen as Axel got up, holding something in his hands, and showed me what the Master had given us.

It was a knife.

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