A/N: Okay. It took forever. But here it finally is. The... end. I almost can't believe I finished this; the first multi-chapter fic I've finished since... 2005? 2006? Anyway. Thank you all so much for sticking with the story, and... yeah. Enjoy.

Chapter Eighteen

It was perhaps an hour or two before dawn. Taim stood by the window again, hands clasped behind his back, staring out into the darkness. He would have given a lot to be able to stroll out to the balcony for a breath of cool night air, but if what Logain had said about the wards was true, attempting to open the door would just summon Logain. Which might not have been all that bad - contrary to popular belief, he didn't hate Logain - but Logain wouldn't come alone, and Taim didn't want to alarm Erin unduly. The Aes Sedai was finally asleep and she needed the rest. Taim himself didn't feel tired. Besides, Erin had the bed, and while it was plenty of wide enough for two to sleep in and maintain decency, Taim didn't feel comfortable with the idea of letting his guard down in the presence of, well, anyone. Which was a ridiculous sentiment considering that she was inside his head, the connection they shared was more intimate in its own way than that of lovers and between the bond and her natural sensitivity and perception there wasn't much he could hide from her.

He plucked idly at the sleeve of the plain black coat he had been given. Oh, his wardrobe was mostly intact and he hadn't been forbidden from wearing whatever he wanted, but the blue-and-gold dragons decorating the sleeves of his old coats no longer seemed like such a good idea. How exactly had it ever been a good idea? He couldn't even remember if it had been his own design. He shook his head, mildly amused that of all the things he might be looking back upon with regret he was thinking of embroidery. Well, vanity had always been a part of him, long before the Shadow had stuck its claws into him.

Dawn crept closer and with it the trial. Of course he didn't know what time Logain was planning on holding the trial, but it was a reasonable assumption that he would want it over with sooner rather than later now that he seemed to have made his decision. Taim wondered again why it had taken so long, but then he supposed that Logain had needed to make his peace with something. That was a sentiment Taim could understand.

It was almost funny to think back to everything he had done to survive - not just swearing to the Shadow instead of telling Demandred to shove his offer where the sun doesn't shine, but already way before he had ever even dreamt that the Forsaken might walk the earth during his lifetime. Lying, thieving, murdering, hiding in abandoned farmsteads through harsh Saldaean winters - how many years? He had lost count at some point, and to be honest, he didn't want to remember. He had survived against all odds; he hadn't gone mad, he hadn't destroyed himself with the Power, he hadn't been caught by the White Tower. He still wasn't sure why he had bothered. It hadn't been much of a life. Had the Pattern made him keep living just to make him a false Dragon? Just to shove him onto the path that had led him to al'Thor, to Demandred, to the Pit of Doom itself? Did it have to be him or would any dumb country bumpkin have served the same purpose? He generally sneered at the very concept of destiny, but the other option wasn't particularly flattering, either.

It was almost funny to think that after all he had done to survive, after dying once and being given a second chance, he was now almost eager for the end. Erin would never forgive him if he told her that - and he wasn't sure but he suspected that it was one thing he had managed to hide from her, that he truly didn't see much point in his continued existence. He wasn't in that dark place he had reached that night in the North Harbour, or the night he had revealed the truth of his memory to Flinn in order to save Erin's life. No, he was just… ready to let go.

The sky outside the window was beginning to lighten when Erin woke up. The bond told her that Taim was awake, and not in the bedroom. He felt calm and thoughtful, not in the least anxious about the upcoming trial. Erin smiled wryly at herself; she was plenty of anxious enough for the both of them. She got out of the bed - noting that his side didn't look slept in - and draped a black silk dressing robe over her shift. The robe was way too big for her - obviously - but she didn't care.

She found Taim in the sitting room, looking out of the window. "Have you been here all night?"

"No, I've been to Tear and back thrice," he replied dryly, without turning to look at her.

Erin rolled her eyes - a gesture that was lost on him considering he didn't have eyes on his back. "That's not what I meant."

"I know."

A silence descended, heavy but not exactly uncomfortable. Erin came up beside him, and after a moment he put his arm around her shoulders. The gesture was unexpected but all the more precious for it, even though the bond didn't reflect the kind of affection that such a gesture might normally display. It was fine, though. Erin had learnt to tone down her expectations regarding Taim showing - or having - human emotions, and she found it encouraging that on some level he cared enough to go through the motions even if the actual sentiment eluded him. She wanted to believe that it meant that he wasn't beyond redemption.

There was a brief flicker of amusement across the bond. "Black doesn't suit you," Taim said when she gave him a questioning look.

"Oh." She was suddenly embarrassed about taking the robe; she should have just got dressed properly. What had she been thinking? Not like an Aes Sedai, that was for sure. They were an Aes Sedai and a Warder, not lovers, and while the two weren't mutually exclusive - as many Greens could prove - he had made it more than clear enough that it would never be that way between them.

Taim, of course, interpreted the sudden embarrassment in a different context. "…It's not that bad," he said, sounding mildly confused.

Not about to correct him, Erin merely nodded. The silence that followed didn't have time to stretch on for long before there was a knock on the door, and then the door opened behind them. Tension flooded the bond, but Taim didn't withdraw his arm as he turned to look over his shoulder. Irritation spiked and was forced down again. "Just leave it there," he said in the kind of casually commanding manner that not only demanded but fully expected obedience. There was a sound of a tray being set on the table. After a while Erin realised that she hadn't heard whomever had brought the tray leave. Taim must have realised the same because he turned again, stepping away from the window - and Erin - and crossed his arms. "Was there something else?"

"I have instructions to stay and make sure you drink the tea," the short, dark-haired Asha'man replied, his expression blank enough to make an Aes Sedai envious.

Irritation turned to cold anger, but then Taim strode over and picked up the tea cup, raised it as if making a toast and drank the tea. And then, in a sudden burst of movement, he threw the empty cup at the wall, where the fine porcelain shattered into pieces with a crashing sound. This elicited a reaction from the Asha'man, who took a step forward and probably seized saidin if he hadn't already been holding it, but Taim ignored him. Instead he stared for a moment at the scattered pieces of porcelain, the anger fading to an icy undercurrent across the bond, then he shook his head and made a dismissive gesture. "Was there something else?" he repeated slowly in a cold voice.

The Asha'man stared for a moment longer, looking slightly bewildered, before replying. "No, sir," he said, half-saluted before remembering that he probably wasn't supposed to, and made a hurried exit.

Erin watched as Taim half-fell, half-sat down in the nearest armchair; the bond was growing fuzzy and unfocused as the fresh dose of forkroot began to take effect. "You'd imagine they could bother with a shield today and not resort to… this…" he muttered wryly. "But I guess not. Seems just plain lazy to me." He was having trouble articulating clearly towards the end of the sentence, a fact which clearly annoyed him to no end. He gestured at the tray, which still held breakfast for two; bread, cheese, olives, dried fruit and a pot of regular tea. "Do help yourself, Erin. I won't… be much good… for conversation, I'm afraid…"

"Yes, tell me something I don't know," Erin replied with what she hoped translated into a mental eyeroll over the bond. The comment was met with a brief flash of amusement, but Taim was no longer capable of answering and Erin turned her attention to the breakfast.

Taim didn't hear the knock on the door but he felt the change in the bond, the sudden tension and anxiety blooming in the back of his mind. He fought to open his eyes, to focus enough to hear what was going on in the room around him, to gain any sort of hold on reality through the drug-infused fog filling his head. He had no idea how long he had been out but it couldn't have been long because he was still feeling the effects of the forkroot so strongly.

He could hear Erin speaking, but it took a while longer before he could make out the words. Another voice replied and after a moment Taim recognised it as Logain's. "One hour," the leader of the Black Tower said. "He'll be fine by then."

"What if he's not?" Erin demanded. "Will you drag him to stand trial like that?"

"Look, Aes Sedai, I know how forkroot works and I know the dose wasn't strong enough to-"

"Oh, do you now? Did you perhaps prepare the tea yourself?"

There was an undercurrent of wry amusement in Logain's voice when he spoke again, closer this time. "No, I did not," he said. "But if you quit glaring at me for a second and paid some attention you might notice that he's awake already. And you're the one bonded to him…"

"And thank the Light for that," Taim muttered. He forced his eyes open to find Logain towering over him, until Erin pushed past the Asha'man, looking down at him with worry painted all over her features. Taim managed a brief almost-smile. "Logain is right." There was a sound that might have been a not-quite-suppressed chuckle, which Taim ignored. "I'm fine." That might have been a slight exaggeration, but he would be, soon enough.

Erin glanced sharply at Logain, then looked back at Taim again. "Very well, Lord Logain," she said. "One hour. I suppose you will send for us when it is time."

In an hour's time they were escorted to the Hall of Judgement. The Hall itself was largely as Taim remembered it; austere, black, with a throne-like chair for the judge on a dais at the end of the hall, a clear space in the middle for the accused to stand in and rows of benches for the audience lining the walls. Today the Hall was filled to the brim. Taim couldn't remember ever seeing as many people squeezed on the benches, and certainly never so many who didn't wear the Asha'man black. It seemed like Logain was doing his utmost to be diplomatic; without counting, it seemed like approximately half the people crowding the Hall were Asha'man and the other half consisted of Aes Sedai and Warders.

He tried not to look at the people staring at him as he was led to stand before the dais but short of closing his eyes - which would have been ridiculous - he couldn't avoid seeing familiar faces in the crowd. There was Damer Flinn and his Aes Sedai, Corele. There, Atal Mishraile and Delaine Taborwin. Jur Grady and Fager Neald, both of whom had been among the first of his students back when the Black Tower had been nothing but a farm conveniently out of the way where a group of male channellers could gather relatively in peace. Androl Genhald and Pevara Tazanovni. Sarielle Teorin and Alinsar Zarac. Jonneth Dowtry next to a dark-haired young woman wearing a blue-fringed shawl. Elayne Trakand was there as well, with one of her Queen's Guard standing beside the bench on either side of her, her beautiful face frozen in an impassive mask but with a cold fire in her blue eyes. Erin, who had quietly taken a seat between Corele and Delaine.

Logain was seated on the judge's chair, somehow managing to look more regal in his plain black Asha'man uniform than any monarch Taim had ever seen. He had a presence that radiated authority, and the stern yet calm look on his face made him look like justice himself. He waited for the murmur of voices - triggered by Taim's entrance - to die down before he spoke. "Mazrim Taim," he began without preamble, "you stand accused of numerous crimes against the Light, including murder, torture, forcibly turning channellers to the Shadow. How do you plead?"

"Guilty." He barely resisted making a wry remark about the ridiculousness of the whole question; he knew it was just a formality, that Logain believed in doing things properly. The mental equivalent of a warning glare across the bond told him that Erin didn't have a whole lot of faith in his restraint, or perhaps common sense.

"And do you wish to say anything in your defence?" Logain asked, his voice perfectly impersonal.

"I do not," Taim replied.

Logain looked past him at the gathered crowd. "Does anyone else wish to speak in his defence?"

For a while the silence was deafening. Then, Erin's voice. "I would speak in his defence." She sounded calm, which, Taim reflected, must have been quite an accomplishment considering the overwhelming anxiety flooding the bond. "This man has committed terrible crimes," she went on when Logain gestured for her to continue, "that cannot be argued. But killing him will not bring back those who lost their lives because of his actions. You would only sentence another man to death. What would anyone gain by that? Vengeance? Justice? Do you really think he values his life enough for death to be a punishment?" She didn't look at Taim, she kept his eyes firmly on Logain, but Taim felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Erin went on, "'Death is lighter than a feather'," she quoted in a soft voice. "No, my Lord Logain, the only one you would be punishing by sentencing Mazrim Taim to death… is me."

There was no way to tell whether the speech had made an impression; Logain was still as a statue, until he spoke again. "Does anyone else have anything to contribute?"

People spoke, one by one, most of them in favour of execution, repeating half a dozen different variations of the sentiment that he simply did not deserve to live. Some were against the death sentence - Flinn spoke of wasted resources, how his strength could be harnessed to be of use in the rebuilding process; Delaine Taborwin spoke of the logic in both Flinn and Erin's arguments; a Brown Aes Sedai Taim had never met spoke of all the knowledge that would die with him if he was executed. Taim wasn't sure what knowledge the Aes Sedai thought he possessed, but the argument was feeble as it was. He quit listening after a while and focused on trying to look like the outcome didn't concern him in the least. It was not easy with the knot of Erin's emotions at the back of his mind swinging wildly between crushing despair, determination and hope. He looked at her once and was almost surprised to see that outwardly her Aes Sedai calm was unbreakable.

Finally it seemed like everyone who wanted to speak had had their chance and all that was left was for Logain to make the decision - although Taim had the growing feeling that the decision had been made for a while already. The Hall of Justice was silent as a tomb. Then, "Mazrim Taim, I sentence you…" the slightest hesitation, one that most people wouldn't have even registered, "to live." The silence gained a shocked undertone and a wave of whispers rose, but Logain ignored it and went on. "You will remain bonded to Erin Davian of the Yellow Ajah, and furthermore, you will be bound to oaths sworn on a binding rod."

Logain kept speaking but Taim no longer heard him. I sentence you to live. The words echoed in his head, drowning out the world around him. He only realised that Logain had finished speaking because his guards prodded him towards the exit. The shocked silence was turning into a growing din of voices, some of which sounded like they were protesting and others just confused, but Taim couldn't make out the words, couldn't summon the focus to even try. He was dimly aware of Erin through the bond - the dizzying relief and joy - but couldn't spare the energy to look at her as the guards escorted him out. I sentence you to live. Somehow, Logain's little chats with him had led the new leader of the Black Tower to this decision. Damn you, Logain. It was supposed to end. It was supposed to be over… The doors to the Hall of Justice closed behind him and his escort, shutting off most of the noise. Logain would pay for his decision - people wouldn't just accept it without making a fuss - and Taim had no idea why he had made it.

Erin followed the old Asha'man called Emarin - she didn't need the escort, she could have followed the bond straight to Taim, but apparently she was not to wander the Black Tower without one. She was taken back to the rooms where she and Taim had spent the previous night. "What will happen now?" she asked Emarin before the Asha'man left her at the door.

"Logain will be conferring with some of your sisters to decide the exact wording of the oaths your Warder will swear," he replied. "Once that's done and the oaths are in place, you'll be free to take him home, though Light only knows why you would want to." He smiled to show that he meant no offence but it wasn't a joke and Erin knew it.

Erin returned the smile, grateful for the Asha'man's polite manner. She thanked him and entered the room. Two Asha'man were standing guard inside, on either side of the door, looking more like stern-faced statues than living men. Taim was standing by the windows - as far from his guards as you could get without leaving the room - staring out, hands clasped behind his back. Erin had to resist running to him; instead she glided across the room to stand beside him. He gave no outward sign of being aware of her presence but the bond told her that he had noticed her. Beyond that, the bond wasn't being very helpful; he had had time to regain his composure and as always kept a tight leash on his emotions. Back in the courtroom, when Logain had announced the sentence, he had been rapidly spiralling down into that dark mental space she'd come to recognise. Now he just felt… resigned, somehow. And that scared her almost as much as the darkness.

"So," she said after a while of not-quite-comfortable silence. "Looks like you'll be stuck with me a while longer."

Something wry surfaced from the depths of the weary apathy. "Isn't that my line?"

"I said it first so you'll have to think of something else." He said nothing and so Erin went on, "You don't seem too happy about the outcome of the trial. Mazrim… I know my defence speech wasn't much of a defence, but I thought it was the best way to get through to Logain, and I don't know if it worked but does it matter? You're going to live. That's what matters… You have a chance to…"

"Are you listening to yourself?" he asked quietly. "Every word you said out there was true. Obviously you must have known it because you were able to speak them. And now you wonder why I'm not happy that my life was spared?" His voice took on a cruel edge as he added, "Do I look like I value my life enough for death to be a punishment?"

Erin shook her head with a sad smile. "No, Mazrim, but I was hoping that you might not outright hate it, either." He didn't seem to have anything to say to that. "It's not like you haven't had the opportunity if you really wanted to die; you've had plenty. And as it turned out that you could channel, I couldn't have even stopped you. So don't you dare resent Logain for not doing it for you. Don't you think you have done enough damage to him?"

Taim finally looked at her, frowning, confusion flooding the bond. "Damage..?"

"In case you weren't aware, killing people isn't good for you," Erin said, a touch more sharply than intended. "No matter how much you know they deserve to die - or don't deserve to live - it leaves a scar. People are not meant to kill people. And for you to force his hand like that, to make him do it just because you can't live with all the things you've done, is just downright cowardly and selfish and I'm not letting you do that to him."

"I'm sure he appreciates your concern," Taim replied with heavy sarcasm. "But you're wrong about one thing. Well," he added, "at least one thing."

"Really?"

He looked away again and somehow the gesture created a distance between them, one that mere physical closeness couldn't bridge. "Even as you call me selfish and a coward, you still think too highly of me," he said, voice tinged with cold amusement and contempt he didn't feel. "You think I can't live with what I've done? That I'm overwhelmed with regrets, to the point of wanting to die?" He shook his head. "I wish that was the case. Truth is I barely know what regret feels like. I have hated myself, and I have hated the circumstances, I've hated the Wheel itself, and now… I'm tired, Erin. I should have stayed dead. It should have been over when your girl Amyrlin sacrificed herself to defeat me. It was a suitably dramatic way to go, don't you think?" The attempt at humour was feeble at best. "Second chances are nice in theory, but how often do they actually work out?"

The question was clearly rhetorical and Erin didn't bother trying to answer. And before she could think of anything else to say, either, the door opened behind them and Emarin announced that it was time.

Logain's study wasn't as full of people as Taim had expected, but then again it made sense that Logain would want to keep the drama to a minimum now that the trial itself was over and done with. Androl and Pevara were there, of course, and Jonneth Dowtry, as well as Delaine Taborwin - with Mishraile, of course - and another Aes Sedai wearing a white-fringed shawl, the Brown sister who had spoken in Taim's defence during the trial, a Grey sister Taim had never met who hadn't spoken a word for or against, and Corele and Flinn. The White Tower was surprisingly well-represented - although on the second thought, perhaps it shouldn't have been surprising. The Black Tower would ultimately stand by whatever decision Logain made; it was the White Tower that needed to be convinced that the oaths would be enough to render him harmless.

Harmless. He was fast developing an intense dislike for the whole word.

The binding rod was brought in and the oaths spelt out for him; to not perform any action harmful to either the Black or the White Tower, to not use the One Power as a weapon except in defence of his Aes Sedai or another sister or their Warder or against a Darkfriend or shadowspawn, and to obey Erin Sedai absolutely. Taim did not swear under the Light and by the hope of salvation and rebirth; Light had abandoned him the day he had turned his back to it and it was going to take a while to get reacquainted, and he didn't much care for the thought of rebirth as it was. The binding rod didn't require such words, anyway, to make an oath binding. The sensation of the oaths settling in was not a comfortable one, neither physically nor mentally; he hadn't really been planning on doing anything that the oaths prohibited, but now it was no longer his choice but something he was forced to live by. Surprisingly, the oath to obey Erin, while potentially the most restrictive, bothered him the least.

"A word with your Warder, if you please, Erin Sedai," Logain said as people were leaving and Taim was about to follow Erin out.

Erin arched an eyebrow but Logain didn't explain. "Very well," she said. "But be quick about it. I'm not waiting around in the hallway all day."

Alone with Logain, Taim couldn't summon the energy to keep up the arrogant facade. "What do you want?" he asked, aiming for a challenging tone but managing to sound merely sullen. "Missing our little chats already?"

Logain gave him a flat look. "Trust me, I can't wait to see you gone," he said. "But there is someone who wants to meet you and this was the easiest way to arrange it without causing… an incident." Logain regarded him for a while in silence, as if evaluating a risk. "I'm not sure how much you'd be able to channel right now, but just don't, alright?" He waited for Taim to nod before weaving a gateway. "The coast is clear," he said to whoever was waiting on the other side.

A tall, black-haired man stepped through. Taim froze as he saw the deceptively youthful face that belonged to the nae'blis, Moridin. The Forsaken smiled as he saw that Taim had recognised him. Taim resisted the urge to seize saidin; he couldn't match Moridin in strength on a good day, let alone still half dosed on forkroot as he was. His mind was racing wildly, trying to think of a logical explanation. How had the nae'blis made it out of Shayol Ghul alive? Why was Logain working with him? But he schooled his face into an impassive mask, forced his hands to be still, prepared to weather whatever punishment the highest of the Forsaken might decide to inflict on a whim. "Nae'blis," he said, inclining his head slightly in what the other man might interpret as a bow if it suited him.

"Don't be an idiot, Taim," Moridin replied in a voice that was Moridin's, no doubt, but also didn't sound like Moridin at all. The accent was all wrong and the tone of voice even more so. He must have seen Taim's confusion for he turned to Logain and said, "You didn't tell him, did you?"

Logain made a half-hearted shrug, looking mildly embarrassed, of all things. "I doubt he would have believed me," he said. "I know I'm still having some trouble with that."

Moridin gave the leader of the Black Tower a look that finally helped Taim connect the dots; he very well remembered having variations of that same look directed at him and not by Moridin but… "My Lord Dragon," he said, hearing the disbelief in his own voice. "You're… alive?"

Moridin looked at him but it was Rand al'Thor who spoke, "'To live, you must die.' That's what I was told, and it turned out to be true." A frown that was very much al'Thor creased Moridin's brow. "You, however, have no excuse that I'm aware of."

Told by whom? No, that wasn't important. Focus, Taim. "And you… wished to see me?"

Al'Thor gave him an amused look. "Oh, we've met before," he said. "Or do you not remember?"

The evening at The Red Rooster, waiting for Estevan Marle, flashed before Taim's eyes. "You were the flutist," he said slowly. A thought hit him. "Did you interfere with my memory? Why?"

"I may have had something to do with them returning, if that's what you mean," al'Thor replied wryly. "But as for them missing in the first place, I'm not taking responsibility for that. I didn't even know you were alive until that night. And as for the why… I suspect it was going to happen sooner or later, and overall it was probably better sooner."

Oh. "And what do you want now?" Taim asked, still too stunned to quite know how to react, which might have been for the best all things considered. "Shall I kneel again?"

"Don't be an idiot," al'Thor said again, a touch of impatience to his - Moridin's - voice. "That's not why I'm here, and besides, it wasn't worth much the last time around, was it? No, don't answer that," he added with a dismissive gesture. "I am not entirely without blame in how things turned out - but, blood and ashes, Taim, you couldn't have picked a slightly less disastrous way of seeking attention?"

Seeking-!? He swallowed half a dozen sharp retorts, trying to clamp down on his anger so as not to alarm Erin. Then he happened to look at Logain, who looked like he couldn't decide whether he should be amused or preparing for the worst, and that helped him take a step back and calm down. "Well, whatever it is, you might want to get to the point. Erin is getting impatient."

A small smile that looked eerily like the Moridin Taim had known flashed across the man's face. "There's something that needs to be done," he said cryptically. "I suppose Erin will have to come with us, because if I know Aes Sedai at all, she'll have a fit if she finds you gone without a warning."

"Gone where, exactly?" Taim asked, but al'Thor ignored the question.

"Logain, bring Erin Sedai in, if you will."

"Going where?" Taim repeated sharply, trying to shake the feeling that this had all happened before, but then Erin was there, concern and irritation warring for dominance over the bond, and he had to leave off questioning al'Thor for now.

"Who's he?" she asked quietly, nodding towards al'Thor. "Mazrim, what's going on?"

"He's…" Taim wasn't sure how much he should tell Erin; obviously al'Thor being alive was not common knowledge and probably should stay that way. "Someone I used to know," he said. "Don't ask more, not now at least. Please."

Meanwhile, al'Thor was speaking to Logain. "You may come along if you wish, of course, but it's not necessary. Either way, I will have to ask you for a gateway."

Logain nodded. "It seems to me I'm due a visit to Malkier, anyway, if only to see how the lads are doing with the construction work up there…"

"Very well," al'Thor said with a grin. "Shall we, then? We don't want to keep her waiting."

"Keep whom waiting?" Erin asked at the same time as Taim, gaining an amused look from Logain.

Al'Thor, however, just said, "You will see soon enough, Erin Sedai. Logain, that gateway..?"

They emerged through the gateway into what looked like an out of the way corner of a palace courtyard. A man in Asha'man black jumped as Logain addressed him. "We have an appointment with Her Majesty," Logain said. "If you will lead the way..?"

Taim listened with half an ear as Logain asked the Asha'man for a report on the progress of the rebuilding of Malkier while he led them into the palace, which itself seemed quite finished. Malkier. The name had been a legend and a tragedy for longer than Taim had been alive. Most Borderlanders had dreamed of seeing the Seven Towers rise again and the Thousand Lakes cleansed of the poison of the Blight, but how many, he wondered, had ever truly believed it was possible? Yet, now… He felt Erin's feeling of wonder and could guess that her thoughts were running along the same lines.

Finally their escort stopped behind a door where two soldiers stood guard, the Golden Crane worn proudly on the left breast of their uniform. "Will you announce that Logain Ablar and his companions are here," the Asha'man said. "They are being expected." One of the soldiers did, and reappeared almost instantly to usher them in.

The room was large yet somehow cosy, elegantly furnished in light colours, lit by sunlight from the tall windows that almost made up the whole wall facing west with a magnificent view over the city that was still largely under construction. Beyond the city walls, some of the thousand lakes reflected the brilliant blue sky in contrast to the land surrounding them, which was… green. This was what Blight had become?

"Not Blight anymore, master Taim," a woman's voice said proudly. "This is Malkier."

Startled, Taim looked towards the source of the voice and saw a woman, as short as Erin, with dark hair barely past her shoulders, dressed in a yellow silk gown fit for a queen - which the delicate diadem upon her head and the ki'sain between her brows told him she was. He made a careful bow. "Forgive me, Your Highness."

Dark eyes regarded him steadily for a moment before she replied, "I'll think about that."

"Your Highness," Logain addressed Queen el'Nynaeve of Malkier, "I'm sure you know why we're here…"

The Queen nodded. "I do indeed," she said sharply. "And I must say that the thought of helping the man who killed Egwene is not one I would normally entertain… However, I am doing this as a favour to an old friend." She turned to Taim and pointed imperiously at a chair next to her. "Sit."

Taim wasn't sure what he had expected, but he was fairly sure this was not it. He looked at Erin, but while she felt as confused as he was, she just said, "Do as she tells you." And the oath of obedience kicked in and before he could think, Taim found himself sitting before the young Queen. He had barely time to begin to feel annoyed before the Queen laid her hands on him and the chill of Delving ran through him.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "There's nothing wrong with me…"

"Be quiet," Nynaeve muttered distractedly, and as per Erin's orders, Taim couldn't do anything but obey. So he sat still, wondering whether Erin, who was able to see the weaves of saidar being used, had already figured out what was going on. And then the sudden sense of understanding across the bond told him that she just had. He would have asked but the command to be quiet still held him - and the look of singular focus on the Queen's face made him think twice about interrupting her. There was an intensity to Nynaeve Mandragoran that was rare in an Aes Sedai, or at the very least it was usually hidden beneath layers upon layers of the fabled Aes Sedai serenity. "Oh, for Light's sake…" she muttered after a while, then took a step back and fixed a withering stare at Taim, as if she took whatever she had found as a personal insult. "How long had you been channelling before we cleansed saidin?"

Taim shrugged. "Ten years, give or take."

"That certainly explains…" Nynaeve muttered half under her breath. "Erin, I need a circle." Nothing happened that Taim could see, but then the Queen set to work again. Taim couldn't say how long it took - it might have been minutes or hours - but finally the Queen stepped back, swaying with exhaustion. Al'Thor rushed to steady her and help her into another chair, asking if she was alright, which she waved aside with an impatient gesture. Erin felt exhausted as well; the amount of Power Nynaeve had been drawing through her must have been close to the limits of what Erin could safely hold. And as for what they had done…

At first he didn't feel any different. But then he began to notice the small details - the sunlight streaming through the windows seemed brighter, colours seemed sharper, the sound of people's voices less grating. It almost felt as if an oppressive weight or a smothering shroud had been lifted and suddenly it was easier to breathe. Then everything seemed to crash down upon him at once; the guilt he had never been able to truly feel, the bitterness, the disappointments, the self-loathing accumulated over the years, everything that had become a part of him to the extent that he had barely even noticed them anymore, all that welled inside him now like a rising tide, threatening to pull him under. And Erin… Out of nowhere she was there, holding him, and her love - love that he didn't deserve, love that he didn't know how to deal with - provided the anchor he needed, as if striving to balance out everything else.

Slowly he became aware of his surroundings again. Nynaeve was speaking to Erin, "…Did work, the madness caused by the taint is gone, I told you that already." She sounded mildly exasperated but her voice was surprisingly gentle. "However, it was bad. Not the worst case I've seen, that would not have been Healable, but it was bad. How his mind will adjust to the change… That is anyone's guess."

Concern and determination flooded the bond. "I see."

"Is that what you did?" Taim asked. He was dismayed at the sound of his own voice, thin and brittle, but went on anyway. "Healed the madness?" He opened his eyes to find the Queen - and everyone else in the room - watching him with varying degrees of concern or wariness.

"Yes," Nynaeve replied. "How are you feeling?" But without waiting for an answer she turned to Erin and repeated the question, "How is he feeling?"

"Confused," Erin said. "And confusing." She was still stroking his hair soothingly, and he wanted to tell her to quit embarrassing him before Logain and al'Thor and the bloody Queen of Malkier, but he didn't think he could trust his voice. Somewhat belatedly he realised that there were tears running down his cheeks, and no way to discreetly wipe them away. Erin spoke again, "I am grateful for what you've done, Your Highness, and if there is ever anything I can do to repay you, know that you need only to ask. But now, could I take him home? This has been a long day, for both of us."

"Yes, that would be best," Nynaeve agreed. "Master Logain, can you Travel from here or would you rather go back to the Travelling grounds?"

"Here is fine."

"And you," Nynaeve turned to al'Thor, who had been following the proceedings mostly in silence. "You're not going anywhere before Lan has met you. In fact, you're staying for dinner."

Al'Thor grinned and made an exaggerated, courtly bow. "As Your Highness commands."

Logain wove the gateway to Tar Valon, but before following him through, Taim turned to al'Thor one more time. "I don't think you ever answered my question; why are you helping me?"

The man wearing Moridin's face shrugged. "Call it a whim," he said lightly. Then something more serious flashed in the deep blue eyes. "And you could say you… remind me of someone I used to know, a long time ago, if you know what I mean."

He was clearly not going to elaborate on that, and so Taim followed Erin through the gateway to the White Tower Travelling grounds. Logain left them there, making another gateway for himself back to the Black Tower. Taim squinted his eyes against the glare of the sun; judging by its position, the afternoon was just turning into evening. Erin took his hand. "Let's go home."