Description: Post CoLS. Canon AU. Alec is gravely injured, and Magnus, against his better judgement, agrees to try and heal him. However, he's not ready to see Alec again under any circumstance – he's especially not ready for this one, as Alec has forgotten everything. (In which Alec is hurt, Magnus saves him, and then it is up to Alec to save himself.)

AN: I'm finally back. It's been an incredibly busy past few months, and while I have had stories musing around in my head, this one actually only hit me a couple of weeks ago.

It will be quite a bit long – I've completely finished the outline, (Which for me is basically the whole story written out in a mess of POV's and parenthesis.) I hope to get all the chapters up quick as I can – though I have yet to see how that will be.

Warnings: Mild language. That should be all. Unless you need to be warned against my ramblings at 2 in the morning.

Disclaimer: If I was Cassandra Clare, I would not be writing fanfiction – okay, admittedly, I would be, just to mess with everyone – but I'm not her.

Also, I'm up on Ao3 now! However, I believe I'll post it there tomorrow. I just had to at least post this somewhere tonight (morning, really.) My tumblr has changed too – sophie-lightwood.

Please review, it means a lot.

Enjoy!

The city at night is the most alive it ever is. It takes on its own beat, its own breath. Mostly it's loud, and colorful, and bright; there's music to be heard and taxi's to be caught on every corner, and no one really sleeps in the hearts of the state. But there are also areas in which the air is quiet, and smooth, and yet equally as vivid; equally as living. People do sleep here, which only makes it easier for the hunted and the hunters to go unnoticed.

Alec prefers this part of the city; the part of the city where he can hear anything coming up behind him, the part where they sky is possibly just a little bit clearer. Magnus, of course, liked the vibrant lights of the bustling neighborhoods, liked the thousands of people with such distinctly different lives, each and every one. But Alec likes the solitude, and the peace.

So even like this, running down dark streets in the dead of night, there is a certain peace in the fight.

Jace is leading the way, navigating through the city with a smirk on his lips and a fire in his eyes; Clary is next, and her eyes are bright and alert as well. Isabelle follow them with whip in hand and black hair swishing in a deadly rope itself, eyes so dark her pupils are faint in the dim lighting. Alec follows last, watching their backs still, bow strapped on his back, blue eyes keeping a careful watch for them all.

When they corner the demons in the warehouse and slip in one by one to finish them, he takes one quick glance up to the sky before jumping in.

"I'll take this one." Jace's grin is obvious even in the thin light.

They've dived in only to discover the demons are so much more powerful than they had expected; honestly, he's easily had his share of greater-demon encounters, but really never seems to get a break from them. To make it even better, there are 2 of them. Isabelle takes a moment to roll her eyes at Jace's enthusiasm before launching herself towards the other. Clary follows them, pulls a seraph out of her belt. Alec's so used to this he sighs.

He swings himself up, into the rafters, to keep an eye on them, and draws his bow. The fights already begun and he takes no moment of hesitation before notching the first arrow. He slips into pattern instantly, mechanically firing arrow after arrow upon every opening he gets, while his 3 companions work close range, Iz taking one and Jace and Clary battling the other. "Nice one!" Jace calls to him, almost cheerful, when one hits the demon directly in the neck. The skin, however, is almost armor, and from far range he doesn't penetrate as much as he's wish. Instead he keeps them unbalanced, keeps them angry, while the other's steadily work them down.

But one of them catches Isabelle's whip, yanking hard, and down she goes.

It's like his body moves on its own accord, not like he would have acted differently even if he did have time to think about it. By instinct, he drops down, lands on his feet and stands quickly; right in front of the demon, between it and his sister. He shoots again and again, to the hand, eye, throat, heart, and down it goes.

Jace and Clary rush to Iz, helping her up, and Alec turns toward them; for a split second everyone forgets there is one demon left, and that split second is all it takes. There's a sudden, terrible rip, and Alec is suddenly consumed by searing pain. His sibling turn around in shock to see Alec speared through completely by one sharp claw.

In turn, their shocked expressions are the last things Alec sees before he is hurled against the far wall.

His head hits hard, his chest is open and his bones are broken, but he doesn't feel any of it for a moment; instead he sees Jace, Iz, Clary, and others; not screaming in the distance as he distantly comprehends they're doing now, but smiling, laughing, looking peaceful. He sees Magnus; he sees a smile and a light in his eyes that was specially his. Then all he can see is red, and all he can feel is blinding pain, and then he blacks out.

The scream is out of Clary's mouth before she realizes it's hers. She surges up, reaches for the knife at her side, hurls it deep into the last demon, watches Jace finish it off with the same surge of energy she feels now; together, the 3 of them run to Alec.

There's blood everywhere, splattered onto the wall and pooling underneath Alec. There's what she thinks is bone sticking out of Alec's leg, which, she distantly thinks, can definitely not mean good. He's lying against the cold, gray, stone wall, his eyes are closed and from his face he could almost be sleeping, if she disregarded the gaping hole in his chest. Jace goes straight to his brother, shouts at him, his name, "ALEC!" to wake him up without any expectation he will. He starts drawing runes with a hand he's concentrating heavily on to keep steady. Isabelle uses the same level of concentration to punch numbers into her phone and call for help, her hand and voice shaking but not nearly as much as it would had she not been suppressing all the panic she can. And Clary, Clary had a sudden, overwhelming flashback of another time when they had seen Alec lying broken, but she fights through it and helps Jace with the aid, tearing off her jacket to press it as gently but firmly to Alec's chest as she can.

"Here." She hands Jace her own seraph, his already slick with blood and sweat. He takes it without a word, and she wipes his on her shirt before taking it to Alec's other arm, gently, so gently, creating the now well-known pattern on his skin with the lightest pressure she can manage. She looks again to Jace. "He's going to be okay." She speaks with all the conviction she can manage. He still doesn't answer, keeping his eyes on Alec's face.

A car arrives; they drive as fast as they can (Just like last time, she thinks), each second weighing so heavily; they rush Alec into the institute on a stretcher, not a single pause, and carry him into the infirmary. In the pale colors and lighting of the room the wounds are just so much more visible and it makes her a little sick. Still she stays by his side, as do his siblings; there are a few other shadowhunters currently present in the institute, by some fortune, and healers are suddenly next to them, taking over, handing her back her black shadowhunter jacket now soaked in blood, while she thinks, I have no idea what to do with this. Alec's body is acting on its own accord, now lying on the white bed, sheets quickly stained; jerking and spastic every few minutes, deathly still next. All the while, his eyes remain shut.

"Will he be okay? Will he be okay?" Isabelle is shouting at the healers, who ignore her for the most part, already focused on Alec without asking any questions.

The three of them are ushered out of the room; they put up quite a shouting argument but are eventually shut out. They are told, by one adult with sympathy and pity in her eyes, "We cannot do anything with you hovering. We will do what we can."

Clary hugs an agitated Jace, runs a hand through his golden hair, while he does the same with her fire red. They breathe together, and she briefly relaxes into his warmth, fitting against him, still in their fighting gear. There is nothing they can do at the moment, and for the moment they are resigned to it. For them, however, that never lasts long.

The door shouldn't be ringing. It is so irritating in the fact that it is that Magnus decides to ignore it. Being him, though, he can't keep it up for too long; or the caller is just particularly insistent.

He stretches his arms up, from where he's lying on his bed, in jeans and a loose jersey tank; his hair isn't styled and there are the remnants of glitter on his eyes that he couldn't be bothered to wash off earlier. He's been a mess these past couple of weeks – ever since he walked away from Alec – occupying his time with a haphazard mix of shutting himself in his apartment, drinking, and attending party after party, drinking. Either way, he's spent the majority of the time drunk. His head still hurts less than his heart, he thought mournfully one of these nights, and then cursed himself for thinking it.

Either way, he's been miserable and trying to forget it. His friends are worried about him, he would be worried about himself if he had any energy left to care, but no one can really do anything for him anyway, so he seems bent on just living out whatever post break up depression he's in and wait till it's gone enough to regain some of his energy, a spark of himself. He knows how folly this notion is; at the moment, he really just doesn't care. But as time goes by, instead of forgetting Alec he's only reminded more strongly of him; he only gets more restless, more inclined to pick up on the calls that Alec had been sending (Which had recently declined.) Last night, while out, he hadn't drank nearly as much as he been lately; today, he decided to take for himself.

That is, he would, if whoever was both ringing the bell and pounding on the door would just stop doing so.

From the bedroom, it is more distant; but it simply won't stop. He's guessing it's someone with Magic capabilities; after all, he's got an electrical current running through the doorbell.

"MAGNUS BANE!"

No. It isn't.

Oh, he supposes he should have known this would come; he's rather surprised it took them this long to get over to him. After all, they had threatened him with everything under the sun when he'd first started openly dating Alec, all if-you-hurt-our-brother's and the like. He debates whether or not to answer them; he takes a minute, and then decides it's better to just get it over with, that maybe it might help him in a way. He does a quick once over in the mirror; even sleepless, he is Magnus Bane, and though he's in one of those rare moods where he can't be bothered much by the way he looks he still looks better than most people can claim to regularly. He makes his way to the door, picking his way through his chaotic apartment (Which had been stripped of much anything blue); not in a rush, Isabelle's shouts just irritating and a little breaking. He opens the door to find Isabelle, Jace, and Clary standing in his entrance.

Isabelle stands in front; it's the first time they've seen each other in 2 weeks and he sees that understanding quickly register in her eyes, but she pushes past it and immediately starts at him again. "What took you so long?" She's irritated as well, and now Magnus can see, restless and – scared.

He doesn't mention it. "God, what do you want?" He leans against the frame, same way he had when first meeting them, only then he had worn a slightly amused smile and this time he makes no effort to hide the tiredness and annoyance on his face. Of course, then, a blue-eyed shadowhunter had been with them, and this time he is conspicuously absent.

Izzy – for, he thinks with a bit of a jab in his chest, he had begun to think of her by that name - seems almost for a minute like she's about to scream, biting her lip, and on closer inspection she seems almost terrified, of something or whatnot; this time it's Jace who speaks, stepping forward to stand level with Izzy. "We need your help." He says bluntly, and though his voice is steady and firm Magnus sees the same panic pushed down inside him.

"And here I thought you were finally coming to scream at me on your brother's behalf." He speaks a bit bitingly, and before they can answer, he continues, "And instead you actually come back for another favor? Why would I help you?" He's really not up to this.

Izzy looks again like she has much she'd like to say to that – again, she seems to fight it down, and takes a breath. Interesting. Mildly. "We are here about Alec." Oh.

He does his best to look uncaring. "You need my help about Alec?"

They're all silent, and he suddenly starts getting angry. "And I would help you with that – why? Why now, do you really think you can –"

"Alec's dying." Izzy blurts it out like she doesn't want to believe it herself.

Just like that, things change. He suddenly gets the fear in their eyes, the pain; their defiant but slightly broken postures. "What?"

Just like that, the strong, defiant Isabelle looks like she might cry.

Clary, who he noticed hadn't spoken yet, takes over. "A couple days ago we went hunting – Alec got hurt, badly – he's been in the infirmary ever since, and he hasn't woken up. We've been told they're keeping him stable but we can tell it's not true. There's been no improvement, and he's getting worse. They can't take him to Idris now, not with Jonathan being a threat, the silent brother's are apparently incredibly busy with something we're not yet informed of, and the New York shadowhunters have to leave for council, they can't get around it. So," She breathes deep. "He'll die."

This races through his mind, and he's hit by his own shot of panic, because even with so few details he can picture Alec lying still and damaged in that institute, an image that he is all too familiar in real life and he has unwillingly imagined on several times. He closes his eyes for a beat, staying composed. "And?"

This time it's Jace to snap. "And? He's dying. We need your help. We need you to heal him, to goddamn make him live. Will you do that?"

Their eyes meet, and both are a mixture of fire and ice. "We are broken up," Magnus says as flat as he can manage. "So it seems you might look elsewhere than me-"

"What, so because of that you won't help him?" Jace's voice is stronger now. He steps forward, and Magnus doesn't move. "That wouldn't be an excuse, even for you, even if you didn't love him anymore. As it is, I know you do."

They stare each other down. Magnus knows he's right. As much as he may hate Alec (and he wonders, does he really), he loves him more; as much as he wants to stay away (again, he's not truly sure if that's what he wants), he wants to be near him even more, and there is no way, simply no way, he can let him die.

"I'll go with you." He turns to grab a jacket, merely the closest one he finds, doesn't comment on Izzy's little deflate in relief, and pushes past them into the hall, the door swinging shut behind him. "Let's go."

He could take them through portal, but as he's said before, that's far too risky for such a short journey; even though with Alec is danger he feels far more inclined to risk it. Instead they simply choose to walk quickly through the streets. The sky is far too blue above them. They elaborate to him while they travel there.

"So he jumped in front of you." That's really not surprising. Izzy looks so damn upset, so he continues. "That's just Alec, isn't it." Her expression turns thoughtful.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't make it much easier for any of us." Jace's voice is almost sarcastic. Ah, much more to what Magnus is used to. In fact, he can't help but smile just the tiniest fraction. Alec always being so worried about his siblings and what was best for them, but not usually for himself.

"He never really does."

"Out of the way. Please." Jace and Izzy almost push their way through the institute; the shadowhunters willingly part for them, but there's no doubt they would have used force if needed. There's only a few of the nephillim left now; some still glance at Magnus a little warily. He doesn't care.

The door to the infirmary is swung open. Jace goes in first. He speaks to the sole healer quickly, who then leaves, glancing at Magnus as he does so. Then he ushers Magnus inside.

Magnus hasn't been prepared to see Alec in any kind of circumstance; he's pictured it, sure, and it's painful every time. However, even his imagination, drunk or sober, didn't conjure this one; he's always imagined Alec as conscious, and, well, much more alive. Seeing him now in this state, he can't breathe.

Alec's eyes are closed, his face serene; his body now mostly cleared of all blood, his chest bandaged many times, only blood still soaks through. The bright red contrast stark against his skin, even more pale than usual, which contrast with the ink black of his hair, messed around on the pillow. Even without seeing the wound itself Magnus can tell it is very, very bad. Alec is hardly breathing, his chest hardly rising. The panic must show in his eyes somehow because Jace actually squeezes his shoulder. Then anger comes, anger at the shadowhunters for not doing more to help him, for not even reaching him sooner, for leaving Alec in this state. Finally, sadness washes in; for seeing Alec lying so damaged. He doesn't comment on any of this. Best to get to work immediately.

"Out." His siblings look incredulous, so he turns to glare at them. "Now. I need to concentrate, I need to do some serious work here, I need to do it now. Leave." Though they look like they wish to protest, without a word they take his word and obey, shutting the door behind themselves. He casts off his jacket, flings it to the grounds. Focuses again on Alec. Looks at the boy he hadn't seen in two weeks, and now sees on the brink of death. Takes a deep breath, permits himself to close his eyes briefly, allowing just the shortest pause to let it all it all sink in; he's about to try to save the life of his ex boyfriend who he is still very much in love with, and it will not be any easy task. He snaps, and the bandages disappear. The blood that immediately begins pouring freezes him again for a moment, but sadly, it's nothing he's never seen before, and honestly, not too much of a stretch of what he's seen on Alec. He begins.

The initial wound has been more or less patched; the nephillim really have done what they could. Yet despite their efforts Alec is critical, and he throws himself into saving him. He can feel the magic pouring out of him and into Alec, draining him by the second but he refuses to stop. His hands move mechanically; keep the lungs moving, keep the heart beating, repair the torn muscles, replenish the blood. He concentrates intently on the movements but his eyes intermittently glance at Alec's face. After what feels like a century – and oh, he knows how those feel – Alec's pale skin has regained a bit more color, and his breathing is stronger. Finally Alec's lips part just a little and he breathes in; Magnus' shoulders finally release some of their tension. Refusing to leave any chance, he sends a final surge of magic into Alec's body. Goddamnit all, he loves the shadowhunter.

Alec gasps, his breathing relievingly, wonderfully normal, and Magnus' energy completely depleted. He sinks into a nearby chair.

It's done. Alec is stabilized, he's no longer currently in danger of death, and he's also possibly bound to wake up soon, giving the amount he's slept. Magnus isn't sure what to do about that. Part of him wants to run out of there before Alec wakes, doesn't even want Alec to know it was him that had saved him – after all, he had been very firm saying it's over. Another part of him though just wants to see his eyes open and make sure he's safe, wants to just look him in the eyes again, and he's so exhausted that he can't bring himself to move, or think past that point.

It hits him, now the danger's pass, how precarious this whole situation is. Coming here only made him miss Alec more, only increased the pain he feels in his own chest. It doesn't increase the love he feels for him – he thinks – only because he doesn't see how he can love him any more – it has, however, made him admit that. He close his eyes, thinks to himself what a mess he is.

A sharp breath makes his eyes fly open.

Alec gives another sharp inhale – his eyes flicker, once then twice and then stay open. Magnus once again finds it hard to breathe and his heart is beating fast as Alec's gorgeous blue eyes, that he'd missed for so long, slowly focus. Alec weakly sits up slightly. He turns his head towards Magnus, and there it is; that piercing gaze.

Then Magnus is struck that something is wrong. Something else, despite everything already messed up between them. Alec tilts his head, and Magnus can't read the expression on his face as he can't ever remember seeing it before. Green-gold meets blue. Alec opens his mouth.

"Who are you?"