So

It's been awhile? If anyone here checked my profile/is keeping up on tumblr (it's changed again), then you'd have seen my decision to not post anymore of this story until I've completely finished it. - I am not quite done yet, but I decided to post this chapter anyways. If you go look at either above, you can see why (And you could read excerpts of the future chapters/other pieces I'm working on? And give feedback? Because I appreciate it so much!) But this chapter is shorter, and I simply couldn't just leave the story there for now, so – here.

Reviews, as always, are absolutely wonderful.

They say they're his parents.

It's not that he doesn't believe them, exactly; he – does – It's just the way they're looking at him. The way they look at each other (they don't.) There's sadness, and desperation, and – disappointment. And – the smallest bit of desperate hope.

They're walking on glass around him, so many walls thrown up that he's left almost completely in the dark about the possible causes of this emotion he sees. He keeps his guard up himself. He doesn't remember a single memory of them, and he feels uneasy around them, like he'll say something he shouldn't and they'll – what? Get angry at him? Walk away? Just continue looking at him like he's failed?

The thought occurs to him that maybe he doesn't remember them at all because he doesn't want to.

The stained glass windows are gorgeous – he'd noted them briefly earlier when touring with Jace and Isabelle, but now that he's looking closer he's fascinated. The technique is good, done basic but smoothly as not to draw attention to it. What captures his interest is the scenes they portray. An angel, hovering over a man, basked in light. A lake and a gleaming city beyond it. Staring at them, he feels almost nostalgic – not like a memory, but something more than that, something that runs in his blood. It's hard to pinpoint. What's even harder to discern is the feeling of guilt that comes with it.

Unfortunately, he might enjoy them even more if he wasn't trying to distract himself from the two others in the room. The two adults who sit on opposite sides of the dining table - Maryse and Robert, they'd introduced themselves as - both watch him while trying to make it look like they aren't doing so. There's not much to say to them, and apparently they don't have much to say to him either. For people who claim to be his parents, they're acting like he's as much a stranger to them as they are to him.

"What's going on here?"

The three startle out of their half-hearted conversation and Alec turns to see Isabelle standing in the doorway, eyes on the people behind him. Alec is only half surprised at the immediate rush of relief her presence gives him. What does surprise him, though, is the outright hostility that she's looking at her – our, he corrects himself – parents. She looks like she'd like to forcibly remove them both from the room, and none too gently, only she doesn't want to so much as touch either of them. None of this is said, of course, but Alec is quite certain that both Maryse and Robert are identifying this sentiment as well. They meet Isabelle's gaze, without flinching. Almost.

Izzy looks at Alec for a mere instant, with eyes that seem to tell him, one moment, before she's pinned her eyes back on their parents. Stepping in to the room, she stands behind Alec's chair and puts a hand on his shoulder. "What are you two doing here?" She demands.

Maryse answers immediately – "We heard that Alec was recovering, we wanted to see him ourselves" – But Izzy cuts her off. "Please leave" she says bluntly.

Neither of them look happy, but they get up and exit the room, in opposite directions, without another word.

Izzy visibly deflates when they've gone, exhaling like she's been holding her breath. "Are you okay?" Alec asks her, despite that it's rather clear that she's not.

"I really hate them" Izzy murmurs, sitting on the table.

"That was pretty obvious" Alec responds, because really, what do you say when you find out your parents apparently dislike you and your sister openly hates them?

Iz still smiles, though, a wry twist of the lips that looks genuine at least. "I can't really help it. Can't say I've cared to try." She stretches, and changes the subject. "So we have a new idea."

Alec tips back in his chair, resting it on two legs. "Yeah?"

"It's worth a shot." Jace walks in and pushes Alec's chair forwards; the front legs hit the ground with a soft thud and Alec twists around to see him.

And sees someone else walk in to the room behind him.

It's the guy from earlier, the one who had healed him and saved his life; the guy with the striking eyes and the graceful way of holding himself, the guy who Alec thinks had told him he would be alright. He hasn't forgotten his name, at least, from the previous day; Magnus. He meets Alec's eyes for a split second before looking away. It's silent as he comes up, sits on the table next to Isabelle, and places a large book next to him. Everyone seems to be holding their breath.

When the man finally speaks, it's in the same smooth voice he hadn't realized that he'd missed until now; he's not sure what's up with that. (He does notice how uncomfortable all three of them look, Jace and Isabelle looking at him like there's a chance he might break, the man now looking at him again with something akin to sadness.) "This book might be able to help you" he starts, and each word is almost carefully said, before it turns almost sarcastic. "God knows it's helped with memory issues in the past."

Rather than question what he means by that, Alec asks, "Magnus, right?"

He thinks the man flinches. He's certain that Jace does, standing next to him with one hand on Alec's chair, but he doesn't look at him; he keeps his eyes on the man in front of him. Still, the man's voice is steady when he replies. "Magnus Bane." He actually smiles a little. "At your service." Picking up the book again, he looks down, breaking their gaze. "Let's get started, shall we?"

If Alec's being honest with himself, Magnus Bane fascinates him. He pushes that though away for now.

"All I want you to do" Magnus continues, flipping through the book delicately until stopping at particular page, "Is look at this, to start. It's been known to help magic-related memory loss – yours is simply due to a blow to the head and near death experience, but it may help nonetheless." He holds the book out to Alec, who takes it like it might crumble into dust.

There's a symbol composed of black streaks on the page like the one Clary had drawn on him earlier. He frowns. "I don't think this is really going to do anything." He gently outlines the mark with his finger. It does seem somehow familiar though. "But-"

That is, of course, how far he gets before he blacks out for the second time that day.

The lights around them are dim and multicolored, flashing in time with the music, and there's a sea of people surrounding them, and Alec can't quite believe that this is someone's home, - and even if it is, why the hell would they want so many people here anyways?

They follow the warlock making his way fluidly through the crowd, down the hallway and away from the laughter and music, into a separate room that's very, very colorful. Alec takes in the floor length windows to the bright curtains that hang around it as Magnus shuts the door behind them and leans against it.

They're there for Clary; already she and Jace are interrogating Magnus none too courteously, not, Alec thinks, like he's one to talk. The warlock sighs, crosses the room to a large bookshelf, takes one large book off of it – the book –

Magnus reaches out and steadies Alec with both hands, Alec having gone suddenly still, by reflex; Jace has a hand on his shoulder too and Isabelle had started up (They're such protective siblings, he takes a split second to muse,) and Alec is already coming back and he takes his hands off him before he's alert enough to notice.

He does, of course, make sure Alec's completely alright before letting go of him entirely, and if his hands linger a second too long against Alec's collarbone he'll get mad at himself for that later.

"Are you alright?" Isabelle asks Alec, who sighs.

"Besides the fact that I've lost my memory and just blacked out for the second time today, I'm doing pretty well." He says almost offhandedly, and turns back to Magnus, who examines his eyes intently. "I saw something" Alec says bluntly, "it didn't bring everything back, just a single scene in particular." Everyone watches him, waiting for him to elaborate, and he sighs again. "I think we're at your home – your apartment," he directs to Magnus, tilting his head like he tends to do when thinking – Magnus's hands tighten – "Isabelle's not there but Jace and Clary are. You presented the same book to her. That's all."

Oh. Yes, Magnus knows the party he's talking about instantly – how could he forget? It was the first time he'd met the shadowhunters, the first time he's seen Alec. It's all too clear, really; opening the door and being instantly confronted by Jace and Clary and their issues, and then seeing Alec (instantly thinking, now that one's gorgeous).

Alec's memory loss now seems clearer as well, but he's really not looking forward to how they're going to work this out.

He briefly touches his hand to his forehead – he can already feel a headache coming on in light of this new concept. Isabelle descends on the motion immediately. "Well? Do you have any ideas?" Alec's still looking at him as well.

And Magnus looks back. "It doesn't give us much to work on. But studying this rune didn't release your memory like it would have under magic – again, your memory loss isn't magic related. What it did do, though, is release a memory of a similar event. It's simple." In his head, he thinks, not really.

"Was it the magic, though?" It's Jace talking now, still standing with one hand on his brother's shoulder. "Clary used runes too, and that's when Alec's memory first started coming back. So is it related to the mark?

Magnus shakes his head. He doesn't think it is, unfortunately, because that would almost make it easier; a spell could be done and Alec would remember everything and he would leave before everything deteriorated. But no, he can't solve everything with a wave of his hands, a bitter truth that's been ingrained in him several times now. "That could boost it, but it's not the main reason."

Focus on the problem at hand, he tells himself, rather than get caught up again. Another thought occurs to him. "Your memory may return in fragments – it can most likely be triggered by strong emotion. Moments that really made an impact to you will probably be easiest to recover, and will probably be triggered by situations that aren't just similar to the ones you were in, but produce similar feeling." He jolts out of this musing to suddenly realize himself what exactly he's explaining.

Jace and Isabelle have tensed up and realize it too. The strongest emotions in Alec's life were his protectiveness and love for his siblings, his love for Magnus; the devastation they caused each other.

They are now, Magnus thinks, even more fucked up than they were at the start of this mess.

Magnus stands suddenly. "I'll research more into this," he says curtly. His eyes sweep all of them, and then he closes them. "I'll tell you when I have more information." Jace looks like he wants to argue, but doesn't, and Alec feels the hand on his shoulder tighten its grip.

Isabelle jumps off the table too. "I'll walk you out", she says. They've both made it clear that the conversation is over.

Jace says nothing; Alec's not sure what to say himself. "Goodbye" seems silly; so does "Please stay", but that, for some reason, is what springs to his mind. He settles for "Thanks."

Magnus just looks at him, nods, and then he's gone.

They're both silent as they walk through the hall, boots clicking on the marble floor and eyes fixed straight ahead. Isabelle finally risks a look at Magnus; she stops and actually studies him for a moment. The book is cast under his arm loosely, none of the great care present like it had been before. He stands straight and walks gracefully like he always does, but it does look like he at least has to make a little effort to hold together. Yet his eyes are bright.

When they reach the large doors of the institute, Magnus turns to her. Crosses his arms, and studies her back. Silence reigns for a moment, before he breaks it with a sarcastic smile. "Well, guess we're not really any farther, are we?"

Isabelle doesn't respond directly to the comment. She feels her heart go out to him, as well; she hates him for hurting her brother, she can't help it, but she loved him too, she had considered him part of her family, and truthfully, she still does. She notices, but doesn't comment on, his use of we. She doesn't think he realizes it himself.

Instead, all she says is, "Thanks for helping." She means it so much it hurts.

"Not like you gave me much of a choice, hm." He turns and begins making his way down the stairs, but adds, "I'll be back."

She says nothing, but watches him as he walks away, and hopes not only for her brother to remember everything but also for them both to be happy again.

Once they've left the room, Alec looks up at him. "Are you okay?"

Jace wonders why its Alec asking him that, because it should obviously be the other way around, before he realizes that he's been gripping Alec's shoulder for five minutes straight. Uncurling his hand, he pulls a chair away from the table and tosses himself down in it. "I'm fine." He says. He's not, of course, but he's been lying for a long time.

But Alec seems to pick up on that, and, because some things about Alec will never change, he voices it. "No you're not."

And another thing, Jace thinks, which will never change about Alec, is that Jace feels better around him; from a young age he's known how to use sarcasm to keep people at a distance, and how to keep himself locked up. But even though even Alec couldn't always break down the walls Jace put around himself, he – stuck with him anyways. Unconditionally, he was there. And Jace had actually grown used to it, actually started feeling like there was someone who he could trust at his back. His parabatai. His relationship with Alec wasn't like his relationship with Clary – he's constantly worrying he might lose her, but he always took Alec for granted. He never realized that maybe Alec was keeping himself locked away too.

He smiles, tired but bright and sharp and real; he asks him, "Is anyone?"

Alec smiles back, and they sit quietly, comfortably, for a moment. They're both leaning casually back in their chairs, legs sprawled in front of them, and they must look just like regular teenagers for once, and for a moment it's like before, before Alec lost his memory and before Jonathan started fighting them and before Valentine stepped back in to Jace's life and started making it difficult for them. It's just the two of them. It's timeless.

Then Alec asks thoughtfully, "How do you – well, we – know Magnus?"

Another beat of quiet, more anticipatory this time. And Jace knows he can't just give Alec the outright, heavy truth – he doesn't even know how he would do so – but he's tired of covering things up and he's tired of half-lying. "We needed his help once. He helped us. He's stayed in our lives since."

He hesitates, then adds, "You knew him best."

Alec looks curious, but doesn't question it. Jace internally pledges that after Alec gets his memory back, when it's back, he will try to never lie or fucking hide things from him again, because out of anybody Alec deserves the truth.

Dinner passes, Isabelle again attempting to cook and Alec and Jace again warding her off; Clary shows up, catches Jace's eye over Isabelle's shoulder, and picks up her cell phone and a takeout menu before Isabelle notices she's there.

They talk and eat and scuffle and laugh; Alec should really probably still be on crutches but can't be bothered to use them, and once the immediate crisis is adverted apparently none of the others care much about physical safety either. They don't spend much time telling stories or even much talking about themselves; they all agree they can't change much anymore tonight; but Alec feels like he's starting to really learn who they are again anyways.

That night he sleeps in his own room, and it doesn't seem all that familiar, honestly, or even friendly. But he's tired, so he lies on the bed and closes his eyes, and the next morning he won't know if he dreamt it or remembered it right before he fell asleep, but he sees the same memory as before, sees Jace, Clary, him and Magnus is Magnus' colorful room, and he remembers telling Magnus, You can't help the way you were born.

He thinks, right before slipping into unconsciousness, that you can't help a lot of things. But you can make of them what you will.