A/N: This is a bizarre two-shot I wrote when the idea popped into my head. It took a few hours, tops. Before you ask, no it's not a crack!fic although it probably seems like it. If the first chapter boggles your mind, hang in there, the second will probably help. Maybe. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or the characters contained therein. I am not making any money off this story, although I'd love to see something like it as an episode. It would be the perfect psychedelic mass of confusion. :)

At the Zoo
by Enthusiastic Fish

Chapter 1

He was so tired.

There was a pounding, pounding in his chest.

The swirl of images finally calmed and he stumbled forward. What he could see was better than what he hadn't been able to see before.

...but what he could see was bad enough.

He was stuck in the middle of the ocean, sharks swimming around him, herding him to his doom. One of the sharks snapped at him and he shrieked.

Suddenly, the shark started to laugh.

"We're ready. Are you?"

"Don't eat me!" he pled.

The shark laughed at him again and forced him to continue walking forward.

He got closer and closer to his final destination and found that, more and more, he knew the sharks were going to eat him. They were laughing to each other, laughing at him. They thought he was completely at their mercy.

No. He wasn't. He was walking on water! He could get away. They were stuck in the water. All he had to do was start running and get away from their teeth. He started to watch for an opening in the swirling fins around him.

After a few minutes, he saw it, a gap. They weren't even looking at him. They were just laughing and thinking it was funny.

He pushed through the gap and rolled painfully, but he pushed the pain away and started to run.

He started to run.

The laughter stopped and the sharks were coming after him.

He ran and ran and ran.

One of the sharks leapt out of the water and got its teeth into his back, but he screamed, turned and ripped the teeth out of his back and then stabbed the shark with its own teeth. That gave him a rush of satisfaction, but he didn't stay and gloat. He started running again, although the teeth hurt him.

He ran and ran and ran.

Pounding in his chest.

He was so tired.

Then, he decided it might be better to dive underneath the water. The sharks could easily pick him out when he was running on the water.

Decision made, he dove into the water...

...and suddenly, everything changed. He wasn't in the ocean anymore. He didn't know what had happened, but the water was really cold and it didn't feel like the ocean. It wasn't salty for one thing.

He couldn't see the sharks, either. There were people far above him, pointing down. How did they get up there?

He tried to get back on top of the water, but he couldn't. The water was flowing too fast...but why? He couldn't figure it out.

Then, a big bird flew down from the sky and plucked him out of the cold, rushing water.

He was so tired.

"Are you all right, sir?" it asked him.

"The sharks," he said. "I need to get away from the sharks! They're going to eat me!"

"Sharks? In the river?"

Then, a shark tooth buried itself in the ground.

"See?" he screamed. "The sharks!"

He got to his feet and could run on the water again. He left the bird behind. It was too hard to explain why the sharks were going to eat him. The waves went high and he had to climb them, but he didn't stop.

He could faintly hear the bird calling after him, but he didn't listen. Instead, he kept running, but there was a lot more noise than he had expected, and there were gusts of wind blowing by him.

Really fast-moving things on either side of him. His chest was still pounding. He could feel it in his head, even.

Whales?

No. Whales didn't come out of the water like this.

Boats, maybe? Yes, they could be boats, but they were full of noise and shouting.

Fish inside the boats! Lots of fish. Different sizes and shapes and colors. There were fish everywhere!

Maybe they'd been sent by the sharks.

There were more fish. More and more of them.

Suddenly, there were bright lights. Maybe it was a buoy. Maybe he could be safe there...but no, no, the sharks could surround him on a buoy and a buoy wasn't big enough to get him out of their hands.

He was so tired.

Suddenly, a mass of dogs.

Dogs. How were they running on the ocean? Were they dangerous?

They were shouting things at him.

"Sir, stop where you are! Put down the gun!"

The words made no sense...except one that was repeated a lot.

"Stop!"

"The sharks are after me!" he cried out to the dogs. "They're going to eat me! They're throwing their teeth at me! I have one of them here! See?"

He held out the tooth.

For a moment, the tooth didn't look like a tooth. It didn't feel like one, either.

Then, the dogs bared their teeth and leapt at him.

He screamed and tried to run, but there were so many of them. They took the tooth from him and forced him onto the strangely hard surface of the ocean. But it might give way and he needed to breathe!

"I don't want to drown!" he cried out. "Don't eat me!"

"We're not going to eat you, sir. Calm down!"

"Don't let the sharks eat me!"

He was dragged to his feet and pulled closer and closer to the flashing lights. The dogs weren't letting him keep running and who knew when the sharks would show up again? The lights were pretty colors, but he'd suddenly realized that he'd misplaced his arms.

How could he lose his arms...unless...

"You ate my arms!" he screeched. "You ate my arms!"

He started fighting the dogs. He tried to pull away from the dogs, but they wouldn't let him go. He couldn't fight against the dogs.

Who was worse? The dogs or the sharks?

He was suddenly in a confined space.

"You're working with them, aren't you!" he said to the dogs in the front.

"With who?"

"You're working with the sharks! You ate my arms and now you're going to give the rest of me to them! You ate my arms!"

"What do you think? Psycho, drug addict or something else?"

"Not our call."

"He's certainly nuts right now."

He couldn't understand what they were saying. He tried to push himself out of the confined space, but he was stopped. Where was the water? What was all that movement through the hard thing he could see through? He started throwing himself against it. Why couldn't he get through? He banged his head against the hard see-through thing.

"Hey! Stop that!"

"I don't want the sharks to eat me!" he screamed. "Don't give me to the sharks! Don't give me to them!"

Who was safe in this world? The sharks were after him. The dogs had him now. There was that bird that had pulled him out of the strange cold water. Other birds... He remembered a golden one.

"Take me to the eagles!" he shouted. "Eagles! The golden eagles!"

"Eagles? What's he raving about now?"

"He thinks we ate his arms. I don't think there's much even he knows right now."

He tried to stand up, but he hit his head on the top of the enclosed space.

He was so tired.

Then, the blur outside the hard see-through thing stopped.

"Okay, sir, don't give us any trouble. Just come on. We're going to help you."

He struggled against them as they pulled him out of the space and out somewhere else.

"Don't eat me!"

"We're not going to eat you, for..."

"Don't let him get to you. He's not in control of himself right now."

"Eagles! Golden eagles!" he shouted. "Help!"

Another animal. He could see them.

"Seals! Yes, seals! They're in the ocean, too! They can get away from the sharks! The sharks don't scare them! Don't let the sharks eat me!"

"We've got a guy here who was running down the George Washington Memorial Parkway with a gun, screaming about sharks."

"Oh, yes. We were told he was coming. All right. Let's get him back into a room."

He was pulled into a room and suddenly his arms were back. How was that possible? The dogs had taken them.

There was no more water. There was nothing except light. Maybe the sharks couldn't find him here. Maybe the eagles were here.

"Eagles!"

Eagles were in the light, in the sky, away from the water.

"Eagles!"

He was alone for a time and then there was someone there with him. Another bird. A robin. Maybe this bird would be safe. He was wary, but he was willing to take the chance.

"No sharks?" he asked.

"No. No sharks here."

"Where did the water go? Where's the ocean?"

He could almost see more than he could see.

"It's outside where it should be. What's your name?"

"The sharks are after me. I got away because they forgot I could run on the water."

"Good for you. What's your name?"

"I need the eagles," he said. That was important. "I need the golden eagles! Where are they?"

"Who are the eagles? Do they have names?"

That question confused him. Names. What did that mean? There was a layer of something else behind the light. He started looking around. The pounding got louder and he was afraid.

"He definitely confused. He's rather gaunt, too, and shaking. There's some meaning behind these eagles and sharks. I'm sure of that much. I just don't know what it is."

He was worried now. Things could go back again and he didn't want that.

"I don't want the sharks to eat me! Don't let the sharks eat me! Keep the dogs away! They took my arms!"

He started to try getting up, but there were things on his arms. More claws. He started screaming. What would be eaten this time?

"No! Don't eat me! Don't eat me!"

"Let him go! Let him go. No one's going to eat you, sir. I promise. Stay calm and everything will be all right."

The claws vanished and the bird stayed back away from him. He pulled back until he hit a hard surface behind him. Nothing approached him. No sharks, dogs or birds of prey.

"I don't want the sharks to get me."

"Okay. No sharks."

"Keep the dogs away."

"Okay."

"No eagles here?"

"Not so far as I know."

"You're not an eagle."

"No."

There was silence and he looked around at the light. Still that strange layer behind the light.

"The sharks threw their teeth at me, but I got one myself and I got him back."

"He had a gun and said it was a tooth."

"Did you get shot, sir?"

"They threw their teeth at me. One of them got out of the ocean and...and he attacked me, but I pulled out his tooth and stabbed him with it."

"Did the teeth hit you?"

He nodded.

"Yeah."

"Can I see?"

He wasn't sure he wanted this bird closer to him, but all the birds had been nice to him so far.

"No claws."

"Okay."

He nodded slowly.

The bird came closer and seemed almost like a person. He tensed as the bird touched him, but it wasn't a claw.

"You're not a bird?"

"Not last I checked. I'm a person, just like you. This might hurt a little. I'll try to be as gentle as I can."

He was turned to the side slightly.

"Would you let me take off your shirt?"

He shrugged. The bird/not-bird took off his shirt.

"Sir, what happened?"

"The sharks. They're after me. Sharks. Lots of them. I had to run on the water to get away, but they're everywhere."

"We need to do a full battery of tests here. Who knows what's in his bloodstream?"

He stood where he was, losing track of what the bird was saying again.

"Sir, who are you?"

"Me. I'm me."

"What do other people call you? ...what do the eagles call you?"

He didn't know how to answer that.

Suddenly, one of the dogs was there. He tensed. Pounding.

"Doctor..."

"What?"

"There's a BOLO out for him. He's a federal agent. Tim McGee?"

It was a dog. Another dog. He pulled back against the wall.

"Don't eat my arms!" he whimpered.

"Tim?"

That was the bird again.

"His coworkers are on their way over here."

"Good. Maybe they can break through whatever has done this to him."

"Oh...golden eagles. On the badges! Duh."

"If you're right... Tim, the eagles are coming."

"Eagles? They're coming? Here?"

"Yes. Just wait. The eagles will be here."

"No sharks?"

"No. No sharks. Just the eagles. Why don't you just sit down here?"

He wasn't sure about this. It seemed too good to be true after all the time he'd been trying to get away from the sharks.

He was so tired.

It wasn't safe to sleep, and he felt too jittery to sleep anyway. The bird/not-bird seemed trustworthy, but who could really be sure? He would wait until he was sure he'd be safe. He sat down, but he wasn't ready to relax. The bird/not-bird approached him again.

"Agent McGee, I'd like to examine you fully. Will you let me?"

"No. No...I don't want to lose anything else."

"You won't. I promise."

"No! No!" He stood up and backed away again until he hit the hard surface.

"Okay. That's okay, Agent McGee. We'll wait for the eagles."

He wouldn't sit down again. The bird/not-bird wasn't to be trusted, either. He stood against the hard surface, staring at the bird/not-bird and the dog. They were letting him stay where he was.

"Agent McGee, what do you see when you look at me?"

"Almost a bird...but not exactly. You don't have claws. A robin," he said warily.

"And Officer Wood, here?"

The bird/not-bird gestured to the dog.

"A dog. Like the other dogs, the ones who took my arms away."

"And you had sharks after you? Any other animals?"

He looked at the bird/not-bird and didn't answer.

Suddenly, there was an eagle! He was so excited to see the eagle. It said something, but he didn't understand it.

"Eagles! The eagles are here!" he said excitedly.

"Tim, what happened to you?"

It was one of the eagles. He couldn't stay back. He ran across the light and fell down in front of the eagles. He grabbed for the wings of the biggest eagle.

He was so tired.

"I was trying to get away from the sharks, but there were so many of them! So many and they were everywhere and I couldn't get out of the ocean! ...and then, the dogs...and they ate my arms and gave them back! ...and I'm so tired!"

The eagle crouched down in front of him.

"Tim, how did you get away?"

"I ran on the ocean and then dove in. I had to get away from their teeth."

"We had a report of someone jumping into the Potomac and getting pulled out downstream. Shots fired."

"I don't want...the... I'm so tired."

"How long has it been since you slept, Tim?"

"I had to get away from the sharks. They wouldn't let me sleep!"

"He's been missing for nearly two weeks."

"It could be sleep deprivation, but they gave him something, too...unless your agent is drug addict."

"No, he's not."

"I had to get away."

"Yes, you did."

Another eagle knelt down.

"Probie, you're safe here. No one's getting in this place."

"Dr. Notham needs to examine you."

"No! No! No! No!" He didn't want that.

"Do you trust me, Tim?"

"Yes. I trust the eagles."

There was a snort, almost like laughter.

"I trust Dr. Notham."

"The robin?"

One of the eagles laughed.

"Yes. The robin."

More laughter and the world got stranger. There were things he could almost see that he couldn't see. All the eagles started looking different than they should be.

"There are layers," he said. "Layers that I can't understand."

"He'll help you with that."

He thought about it.

"Can I sleep? Can he stop the pounding so I can sleep?"

He was so tired.

"Yes, Agent McGee. I can help you with that. You just need to let me examine you...even if what I do seems strange to you."

"I don't want to see the sharks again."

"You won't."

The bird/not-bird helped him stand and took him to a place where he could sit. He strapped something on his arm. There was a painful prick.

"Ow! No!"

"Tim, it's all right. Just stay put."

"But it hurt! Like before!"

"It has to. It's only a little."

He stayed put, but he didn't like it. He was feeling tense again. The bird/not-bird seemed more like a bird again and he didn't like that the dog was still there. ...but the eagles were there, too.

"I don't like this. I don't like this," he said. "I don't."

The biggest eagle sat down by him and protected him with its wing.

"Don't worry about it. Everything will be fine."

The bird/not-bird finally finished and left.

"I'm really tired."

"You'll be able to sleep soon."

Suddenly, he was somewhere else. It wasn't the light. It was quiet, and dim, and cool. The pounding was muted.

"Awake again, Tim?"

He looked at the eagle and it had an extra layer. Its voice wasn't the same.

"You sound different."

"Just relax and go to sleep. Everything can wait."

"I'm tired. I'm afraid of the sharks."

"No sharks here, and if they come, we'll stop them."

He looked around and saw that the eagles were all there, plus another bird, a duck...and something else. He couldn't figure out what the dark shape was, but he was so tired.

"Sleep, Tim. Don't worry. We can wait."

"Wait for what?"

"Nothing. Go to sleep."

He closed his eyes.

Then, suddenly, his body jerked and he was awake.

A hand held him down.

"Relax, Tim. It's all right."

He closed his eyes.

Suddenly, his legs jerked again and he started to sit up.

That same hand.

"You're safe, Tim. Just go to sleep."

Trying to calm down, he lay there.

He closed his eyes.