Internet 101

By: M14Mouse

Summary: Xander teaches Phineas and Clare about the joys of the internet.

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

Xander knew this wasn't going to be easy.

It will probably be impossible.

But it was totally Vida's fault for dare him into doing this. Maddie just shook her head at the whole mess and walked away. Nick looked entirely amused by the whole thing. Chip was all for it.

Then again…anything with magic made Chip too happy.

Or it might be World of Warcraft. Sometimes, his best mate was a very strange man indeed.

Although, he was kind of curious to see if he would work.

Another part of him had plans for those fifty bucks that he plans to win from Vee.

That is why he was here at Rootcore.

His first part of Plan Xander was to gather Phineas and Clare. Since, they would be the best choices for this little dare. Undonna would just scowl at the laptop. Daggeron scared the crap out of him. So…no…

"You two are in luck. Today, I am going teach you something new and exciting," He said as he pulled out his laptop from his backpack and set it on the table. Okay, it wasn't his laptop…per say. He was borrowing it from the school.

So, if Clare and Phineas fry the computer by accident…no harm, no fowl.

Or at least, no money coming out of his paycheck.

That was always a plus.

Phineas wandered over and stared at the laptop for a moment then turned to him.

"Can I eat it?"

"No! That isn't food."

Phineas poked at it.

"You sure that I can eat it?"

"No…No…these are laptops. They are wonderful pieces of technology that I am about to teach you and Claire."

Phineas frowned for a moment then smiled.

"Like the can opener…!"

"Urgh…"

This may be harder than he thought.

"No…watch and learn, my friend." He said as he opened the laptop and started it up. He did some mess around with it. Chip and Maddie helped with the whole internet thing. He made it work with the whole don't blow the laptop with magic thing.

He blew up too many radios in effort to make the laptop magically safe.

Although, he could magically make a new one.

He never thought of that.

"Oooo…What is that?" Phineas said as he watched the start up screen.

"Don't worry about it, mate. The fun part doesn't happening yet. We still have to wait for Clare."

"Someone wants me?" Clare said as she appeared down the stairs.

"Yes. Today, I am going to teach you two all about the internet."

Clare frowned for a moment.

"The internet…? Is that a monster?" She said.

"No...No…Ladies and Gentlemen…." He said as he opened his arms.

"Troblin." Phineas said.

"Uhh…Troblins and Ladies…The internet is where you can find anything that your heart's desire."

They turned to each other and then him…giving him are you crazy look.

They had no need to doubt him…This was going to be awesome…minus if they don't blow anything up.

"Anything?...like what?" Clare asked.

He grinned as he took a seat by the table.

"Anything! You can ask it any question and it mostly give you answer. Remember, Wikepdia is your friend. Oh, porn is urgh…never mind. Anyway…let me click on here." He said as he clicked onto the internet browser.

He glanced over at them out of the corner of his eye as they watched over his shoulder.

"Okay…this internet…and this is your best friend, Goggle. Don't be fooled by Bing and Yahoo. They are just second best," He said as he typed in Goggle. It was good to the computer or the internet wasn't going to blow up.

"Now…pick a question…any question…"

"Uhh….How about recipes?" Clare said.

"What type?"

"FISH!" Phineas shouted happily.

Him and fish…he wondered what his deal was with fish anyway.

"Okay…Fish Recipes. It is." He said as he typed in the request.

A few seconds later, a list of fish recipes appeared on the screen. He clicked on the first link to a Baked Catfish recipe.

"Ta-Da…." He said with a grin as the recipe came up.

"Ooooo…." They said in a chorus behind him.

"Okay…what is next?" He said to his audience.

"Oh…oh…pet rocks!" Phineas said.

He moved away from the laptop and offered the seat to them.

"The floor is all yours. But perhaps, Clare should type it."

Phineas nodded his head and Clare took a seat.

"Now…hit that button and it will send you back." He said as he pointed out what to do.

He watched Clare worked.

Fifty bucks were totally in the bag.

-MFMFMF-

"What in the hell is this?" Vida said as she watched Phineas and Clare giggling over the lap.

"Right now…Kitten videos. They just do the stupidest things." He said with a grin.

She gave him a look.

"What did you do?"

"Me? I just won fifty bucks. Pay up, Vee."

"You had help."

"Nothing in the rules said that I couldn't have help."

She huffed for a moment then dug into her pocket for her wallet. She opened it and handled him his money.

"I hate you."

He grinned.

"Nice doing business with you."

Sometimes, his Plan Xanders were totally awesome.

End

A/N: Read and Review if You Wish.