The Cracked Cauldron

(Or: Neville, You Just Burned My Bollocks Off)

Warnings: Gender Swapping, Vulgar Language, Dysphoria, Potential Smut, Gore

Author's Note: So I read a fic seven years ago with this premise. It was abandoned. So I took the idea and went with it to (hopefully) see it through to completion, adding my own spin to it of course. I don't recall the original title or author, and if this rings a bell for anyone please let me know.

I do not own Harry Potter or other trademarked names or locations. They are property of Bloomsbury Books, Warner Bros., etc. Please support the original content.

Summary: Neville's lack of skill in potions causes Harry's world to turn upside down. Eighth year. Drarry.

It all began weeks before with a loud clatter in the doorway of the potions classroom. Neville Longbottom, war hero and consummate clumsy oaf, had dropped his cauldron on his way into class.

"Bugger, it's got a crack in it. Gran'll have my head. She's had to buy me a new one every year." Neville muttered, scooping the cauldron off the floor and running a hand over the formerly smooth surface. Just behind him, Seamus Finnegan peered over his shoulder and shrugged.

"It's just a wee crack, nothing to go writing home about. Should be fine, mate."

Had Hermione Granger been listening in, she would have told them all the ways that it would not be fine. Too much oxygen or heat from flames hitting the potion. The potential for explosions. Things like that. But as bad luck would have it, Hermione had already dragged her best friend and boyfriend into class early and was setting up her work station, eager to begin the lesson. To make matters worse, that was the very day the class would be beginning a practical lesson in making polyjuice potion, which can be painful even when made and taken properly.

The class started tamely enough after Neville's noisy accident in the doorway. Neville had partnered up with Hannah Abbot, with whom he had developed a close friendship after the battle the previous May. To Neville's immediate left were Harry Potter and then, Harry's partner for class, Susan Bones.

(Most of their classmates assumed Neville and Hannah would end up dating; only a choice few knew that Neville was a complete homosexual)

Uneventful weeks later, Professor Slughorn wrote the final instructions on the board and set himself to work grading the fourth years' essays on the twelve uses of dragon's blood, trusting his "eighth year" students not to muck things up too horribly. Neville's potion was nearing completion. It was bubbling unpleasantly in his flawed cauldron when Hannah leaned over to inspect their work. It seemed to her that the potion was brewing much faster than it should have been (Hermione could have explained why if she only knew). As bad luck would have it, it was at that very moment that a loose hair fell from Hannah's head right into the too-quickly completed potion. In a roar of flames and smoke, the cauldron ignited and potion flew everywhere; mostly onto the fronts of Neville, Hannah, Harry, and Susan. The four began shrieking and clutching at their chests. Neville looked into his lap to see his clothes burned away and his flesh melting and red. Soon the four were blacked out and class was dismissed early in order to get them to the hospital wing in time to prevent any permanent damage.

Unfortunately, they were several weeks too late for that.