This takes place in a alternate Sgrub/Sbrub session where everyone is still alive and the kids have joined the trolls in hiding in the veil. Somethings an't the same though . . . and the game isn't what they think it is . . . not everyone is as accepting of Karkat's blood, and Gamzee could never be more dangerous. . .

Edit/edit: OMG i forgot to add something vary important to the end of this chapter D: *adds important plot trigger*

Edit: I misspelled some 'stuff' so thats fixed now :/ sorry . . .

AN: I will continue this later so it maybe some time before I update this again. (However, i started this so i WILL FINISH IT!)

Warnings:T for violenceand swearing, slight AU, OOC(varying decrees of *out of character-ness) and sober Gamzee should be his own warning. Main pairings Gamzee/Karkat/Terezi Terezi/Dave Rose/Kanaya etc. (M/M, F/F, F/M)

Disclaimer:Homestuck and all Homestuck characters belong to the one and only Andrew Hussie. I own nothing but the plot in this fanfic. Thats fan-fiction for you, made by fans.

Staring ahead in stunned state of emotional shock Karkat sat back resting his head against the cold wall behind him. Wrapping his arms around his legs tightly. Rocking back and forth. Slowly he glanced around, large cat like eyes darting around the small space. There wasn't much space in these vents, however almost no-one ever bothered coming here. It was the perfect place hide really. His blank stare shifted towards the vent opening.

Drip. . .

Drip. . .

Drip. . .

Hopefully no-one would take notice of the bright red blood. Not that it mattered anymore. Even if someone saw the filthy mutant red liquid, they wouldn't say anything.

Only three trolls would truly cared weren't here right now. Kanaya was with the Rose human, and Nepeta was glued to hip to Equius. Jade was human and who knows where.

And Terezi. . . she was with Dave.

Dave fucking Strider.

Thinking back through all time he spent with her and all he had gone. The conversations he had, the little moments that actually mattered. Over the course of the game he had grown to trust her. When Terezi had final figure out his secret and confronted him, the fear he had for being culled had changed to fear of rejection. Much to his surprise she had been rather understanding, in her own way of course.

She voiced her concern, saying that she didn't like the fact that he kept such a thing a secret. Even with the chance that he might die, he need it to prove himself. Then a there he made a deal with her, when he finally felt comfortable enough he would tell the rest of the team.

And then she would pass judgment on him then.

Meeting her and other face to face for the first just set his feelings for her in stone. God damn it she was so beautiful. His blood-pusher skipped a beat just think about her. Before when he been first aware of his flushed feelings for her, he tried his best to ignore them, but seeing her only made him fall that much harder.

It hurt so much.

It hurt so much to know that he never had a chance. He had been a fool to even try.

He tried not letting it show, he tried so hard to forget and he failed, he failed whatever chance he might have had to be with her, that chance was long gone. Or had it never been there in the first place?

With the arrival of the humans things just got more complicated. The way she looked at Dave even though she couldn't see he knew she 'saw' the human in much the same way he saw her. And Strider? With those awful glasses he looked at her in the same way. With admiration and respect she slowly began spending so much time with that human that it hardly even mattered what he thought anymore.

It's not like she ever listens to him anyway.

He tried reasoning with Strider, maybe there was a chance that he might share? Maybe he still had a chance to win her over. To court her, or just to be in her life. Humans didn't share flushed quadrants, and by this time it was already too late, he blow his one and only chance. He couldn't do anything right, he couldn't tell Terezi how he felt and by the time he finally had the courage to do so was already too late. What did it matter what he felt though? When had his emotion ever matter to anyone.

Then the time came.

And he finally told the rest of his team.

Everyone now knew his blood color.

He would have never said anything if he had felt he would be in any danger, or if he couldn't trust his friends. Their reaction however, it . . . it hurt. He never thought Sollux of all trolls would react that way. Sollux who had been there for him through everything. Karkat had always thought of him as his best friend. They had known each other long before the game, Sollux had been apart if his wiggler hood circle.

Was all that time they spent together truly irrelevant? Was the bond between them really so fragile?

God, it hurt so much.

Aradia reacted in much the same way, but when had he ever care what she thought? That way she looked at him, he almost thought he would die only by her stare alone.

The only two trolls who reacted in any favorable way had been Kanaya, Nepeta and Terezi already knew. Gamzee didn't react at all, however this mattered little, and Karkat already knew why.

Humans didn't see the significance in what had taken place, not until they noticed how the rest of the trolls started to keep their distance from him. Yet still, not one person looked at him. They didn't see him anymore. Time pasted, and he felt more isolated from the group then ever. Even Eridan left him alone. Everyone was pairing up leaving him alone to drown in his hurt. By this time his blood-pusher was matted in scars, bleeding in pain, his will completely shattered.

Needless to say he wasn't leader anymore.

Snarling Karkat forced the sob back down his throat. Even alone he would not dare cry. And yet the unbearable pain in his chest could not be ignored. He had nothing, everyone was alive, and they just didn't care.

All sound echoed here, if even the tiniest of sobs escaped, with his luck someone would hear. He couldn't stand any more humiliation, all this pain it was just too much-

''Honk.''

Oh god no.

Just no.

Anyone but him.

Glaring he turned his head towards the sound, Karkat tensed as he saw the troll he long hopped to avoid. There staring back at him was Gamzee. Those large indigo eyes sharp as knifes, digging into him with barbed hooks. The clown's expression was hard to see in the this light, but that lazy grin was long gone. Would the clown have to ware that facade here? There was no-one to see the clowns true self, way hide?

The cancer already knew.

Gamzee had never been stoned, never in the clowns life had he tried the slime more then once. Oh no, the capricorn was far to smart for that. Not taken a bite since he was a grub, he used whatever means his twisted sick think pan of his could of to convince the others into believing what he wanted. And with his lusus absence, why bother eat that shit. Why would he when he knew it was meant to control him.

It had always been a act.

To gain the trust of others, the clown pretended to be harmless.

Karkat had figured all this out a long ass time ago, and Gamzee had figured the cancers secret in return. Long before Terezi came into the picture. With a tight rope tied to each other neck nether made a move against the other.

Now that balance was one-sided. Everyone knew the cancers blood color, and no-one knew the capricorns secret, no-one but Karkat.

Grinding his teeth the cancer shifted moved his injured side out of sight by instinct. Not that it mattered any.

"What the fuck do you want ass-wipe?"

The capricorn watched him intently, orbs of indigo locked in an unnerving stare. Tense silence followed, nether of them moved.

. . .

Tilting his head slightly to left the clowns eyes trailed down at the small drop of bright red staining the vent floor. "You should really get that looked at . . . best friend."

Scowling Karkat shifted backwards trying to moving away with out drawing attention to the fact. "Why the fuck would that matter, its not like you care. I don't live my life to please you!"

Snarling the cancer flinched as those indigo eyes lifted to meet his, as the capricorn growled in return.

"Watch your self, motherfucker. That line between life and death is thin, you should tread more carefully. My brother..."

Swallowing the cancer opened his mouth forcing every last bit of his gradually diminishing confidence into his next. "...and what are you going to do about it! Terezi and the others will notice- you wouldn't dare..."

Unfazed Gamzee chuckled. "Shit, will they? I didn't fucking know my brother. They didn't seem to care last I checked, thats why your alone isn't it?"

"Shut up!"

"They hardly all up take any motherfucking notice of you any more anyway. Would it matter much if you were dead?"

Karkat flinch yet again, the clown spoke the truth and he knew it. Though it still hurt none the less. Damn it. Grinding his teeth together he spat.

" . . . you . . . you wouldn't dare cull me, Kanaya is smart enough to figure it out eventually and with Rose by her side they will make that connection. Your cover will be blown..."

There was a small pause as the clown narrowed his eyes at the smaller troll. Those orb indigo almost seemed to glow, Karkat shivered and inched back.

" . . . then whats stopping me from culling them too?"

" . . . because that would be two less to dot over you like your lusus never did!"

Oh shit.

". . ."

Shit!

The cancer eyes widened his body tensing as he realized the words he said all to late.

Turning in the only direction he could he bolted. There was only two way to run in such a small space and as he scrambled at the smooth metal to get as much distance between him and clown as possible he slipped.

Snarling the capricorn lunged at him, tackling Karkat to the side. Closing his eyes the cancer hissed as pain ranked through his back and open wound as he was pressed against the cold metal.

Panic began to over take him, the cancer struggled even though the pointless the situation pulled through. Twisting around he pushed and kicked against the his captor. The capricorn grip tightened as he growled. Wrapping his arms around the struggling low-blood he pinned the smaller trolls arm against his side.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, he was going to die, he was going to die-

Finally the cancer stopped thrashing. He stared with wide frightened eyes at the jugglo, completely lost in a deep sea of indigo. His blood-pusher beating in a frantic flurry, his breathing coming in hiccuping gasps. In a last dutch effort to save his pathetic useless life he swallowed, forcing down a whimper he bowed his head. Hoping a sign of submission would make the jugglo reconsider.

If this didn't work, he would fucking die.

Silence followed nearly lasting an eternity.

Until finally he felt the jugglo grip loosen. Slowly Gamzee sat up still keeping him in a firm hold, he stared down at the smaller troll.

". . . motherfucker, I'm disappointed in you."

Karkat eyes snapped open forgetting the overpowering fear, he stared at the capricorn in shock.

". . . and don't you fucking DARE cower!" The clown roared as he saw the nubby horned troll begin to tremble. Snarling the indigo blood leaded forward, glaring at cancer coldly.

"Don't bow, not you who despite all faults became leader, pulled all our ass together and lead us to all up and rise against the Black King-"

"-THAT was all you!" The cancer tried to force himself not to flinch, tried his best not to turn away, he wanted so much to just run from those intense orbs of blood shot indigo staring into his very soul. He never felt so ashamed . . .

"It because of you, the rest of us motherfuckers are still alive! And yet you just let them fucking trample over you-they couldn't care about you less. . . don't fucking dare cower . . . after all you've done, don't you dare bow-"

" . . . what the motherfuck happened to you . . ."

Shuttering a breath Karkat pushed weakly against the capricorns chest.

". . . g-get off me. . ."

After a short pause he was almost sure the jugglo won't comply with the 'demand'. Darting his eyes around nervously he pushed against the clown this time with a more favored result-

-Gamzee moved back allowing the much needed room for him to set up. Moving slowly the cancer held his wounded arm girding his teeth together to prevent himself from hissing in pain. Darting his eyes away from the jugglo he tried to still his franticly beating blood-pusher.

Fuck, why did that clown have to give him so meany damn signals. . . what hell did the he want form him!

Hissing the cancer snarled as he felt Gamzee's cold hand pull his own away from the open wound. Karkat tensed, glaring at the indigo blood as the capricorn examined his arm. Flashing the high-bloods eyes locked on him.

"Motherfucker, you should really get this looked at . . ."

Damn it, he noticed! No, he could not have that looked at, the wound was clearly cut and if Terezi were to smell it she would realize what happened and then she would start asking questions. The same thing could be said if went to Kanaya, Rose or even Jade. There be questions no matter who he went to- Sollux would chase him off, Equius would probably just snap his arm like a fucking twig and going to Feferi was a big fat NO. John would worry and fuss and there was no way in hell he would let Dave see him like this.

"Isn't that what you were doing?" Swallowing a lump in his throat he watched nervously as the jugglo leaded in closer, while looking him straight in the eye he pulled the cancer wounded arm up to his mouth.

Oh god, he did not like were this was going, at all-

The cancer bite his lower lip. He wanted so much to look away but found himself unable to, even as the shame returned with an vengeance. He started to tremble as he felt the capricorn breath ghost across his open wound. It stung as Gamzee's cool tongue lapped across the soar slightly bloody skin. He showed no signs of disgust, or any other emotion for that matter. The clown expression remain neutral a perfect poker face, his full attention focused on cleaning the wound. While licking a wound clear was relatively normal, it was usually an intimate gesture shared only with those in red or pale quadrants, and only with these most trusted.

And he certainly didn't trust Gamzee...

Feeling overcome with insecurity the cancer fought the urge to pull back, running his thoughts over and over again in a pathetic attempts to distract himself form the sudden affection the clown was giving him. Still the fear that those sharp fangs would sink into his soft skin prevailed, refocusing his attention on those long teeth proved to a mistake for as soon as he did so his attention was brought right back to Gamzee's cool wet tongue.

Fuck . . .

Given Gamzee's capricious nature mood swing were a given and his unpredictability was a normal thing. The clown could go from murder mod one minute to mockingly affectionate the next, but really, what the actual fuck? This was just a little to much for his poor blood-pusher to take. Just seconds ago he was sure the clown wanted him dead, and now the capricorn was flirting with him. What the fucking hell did this guy want?!

Shivering the cancer pulled back as the capricorn finished his work after what seemed like forever. Swallowing Karkat finally met the clowns unnerving gaze, his silent question going unanswered.

As it always did.

" . . . just . . . just, leave me alone."

Lost their lives

It all fell apart

Falling with the bravest of heart

Their universe fell

So they built it back up, so meany pieces apart

From their blood to their bones

They built it from scratch

From the very glitch, that tore them apart

In all paradoxical oblivion, time and space fell

Sending all players back before the start . . .

?To be continued?

Review please :3 \/