Hi. This is my first fanfic, so don't kill me please! The person named Morea in this story is the same best friend I mentioned on my page (if you read that.) I know they didn't really have dentists or drugs to knock you out back then but I was bored. Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. I tried my best. Oh, and the gay captain is Captain Shakespeare from the movie Stardust.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stardust, Ranger's Apprentice, or YouTube (do I need a disclaimer for YouTube?)

Halt hated going to the dentist, but now that he had to have a tooth pulled, he hated it even more. And since his tooth was at an angle, he had to have surgery. That meant Halt would be pumped full of drugs, and he'd lose awareness of his surroundings. He sighed. Even worse, Gilan and Will were supposed to pick him up from the dentist's.

Halt finally reached Castle Redmont. The soldiers at the gate nodded to Halt and let him pass. A stable hand came up to Halt. Halt reluctantly dismounted and handed Abelard's reins to the stable hand.

He walked toward the small red stone building at the edge of the courtyard. Halt walked into the building and was greeted by the receptionist's cheery, "Hello, Ranger Halt, just sign here," the receptionist pointed to a box on a piece of paper and Halt signed. "Now, why don't you sit down? The doctor will be with you soon."

Halt did as he was told, and waited despondently for his turn. I bet Gilan will come up with some kind of plan to mess with me when I can't defend myself, Halt thought with a groan. Just then a nurse called, "Ranger Halt?"

Halt got up and followed the nurse down a hallway to a small, square room. Halt entered and the nurse left, presumably to attend to some aspect of his upcoming surgery. Dr. Arnold sat on a stool in a corner of the room. "Good Morning, Ranger Halt. Are you nervous for your upcoming surgery?"

"No," Halt lied. He was more nervous than he'd ever even told Pauline. In fact, he'd rather fight the battle at Hackham Heath again than do this.

"Yes, of course, silly of me to ask," Dr. Arnold said. "Well, might as get this show on the road. Ranger Halt, if you'll just sit over here. . ." The doctor pointed to a chair in the middle of the room. Halt gingerly sat down. "And we'll just have to inject this into you, if you don't mind, and when you wake up you'll be a bit groggy and you probably won't be able to feel your mouth, alright? Are you ready?"

Halt nodded curtly. He just wanted to get this over with. "You'll black out in about ten seconds." Dr. Arnold said and stabbed a needle into Halt's arm, pushing the plunger thing down.

Halt counted to five and then started, "I—" before everything went black.

The next thing Halt was aware of was Will's voice asking an ever-present question. "What's this do? Do you cut people with it? Did you use it on Halt?"

"Will, leave the poor doctor alone." Another voice said. Hold on. Was that Crowley? Halt was a bit confused. It couldn't be one of the nurses or receptionists because they would have addressed Will as Ranger Will. And Crowley wasn't supposed to be here. Will and Gilan were only supposed to be here, no one else. Then Halt realized what had happened as he heard Horace pipe up that he thought Halt was actually alive. Will and Gilan had brought Crowley and Horace along with them. Halt groaned, now not only did he have to keep Gilan and Will from doing something horrible to him, but he had to watch out for Crowley and Horace too.

"It's alive!" Gilan shouted, then added, "You are, right, Halt?"

Halt cracked open his eyes to behold Gilan staring at him like an idiot and Will with an enormous idiotic smile on his face. Halt couldn't see Horace or Crowley. "If I wasn't, could I answer that?" Halt's head really hurt. He couldn't think straight either.

"Well, his sense of humor is intact, at least." Crowley said brightly.

Halt chose to ignore that comment. "Now, Ranger Halt, I want you to take one of these pills every two hours, okay?" Dr. Arnold said.

Halt nodded and stood up. That wasn't the greatest thing he'd ever done. His head swam and he felt all dizzy. "Just get me home." Halt said.

Crowley helped Halt to walk out of the room and down the hallway to the waiting room. They walked up to the front desk to pay. "Five crowns, please, and sign here," the receptionist said. Halt did as he was told.

Halt exited the building on Crowley's shoulder; while Will was asking Horace a question and Gilan picked his nose. Halt shook his head, which just made it hurt more. What were his former apprentices coming to? Who knows why Jenny liked Gilan. And how did Alyss deal with Will's questions? That definitely was the question of the decade.

Halt entered the keep and climbed the stairs up to his and Pauline's apartment. Pauline was out on a mission about some peace treaty or another in Arrida. It was probably best she wasn't here. He'd probably say something to her and then Horace would give him a weird glance, and everything would get hectic from then.

Halt handed Crowley the key to the apartment. Crowley unlocked the door and handed the key back to Halt without a word and walked in. "Couch or bed?" Crowley asked.

"Couch," Halt replied and Crowley led him to the couch. Halt sat down and then realized Will hadn't asked him a single question in about five minutes. That was scary. What if Will had suddenly gotten a horrible disease? Halt glanced up at Will, who was opening his mouth for a question. Oh, good, Halt thought, he hasn't gotten a horrible disease.

"Halt, does your head hurt?" Will asked.

"Yes. . ."Halt didn't think this could go anywhere good.

"Will you say things without realizing you said them?"

"No," this definitely wasn't looking good.

"When were you first in love with Pauline?" Horace asked.

"When I was about your age," Halt said without realizing it.

"So, Halt, why don't you tell us about that day," Crowley suggested.

"No."

"Come on, Halt. You know you want to."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why did you say so?"

"Because I said it."

"Why—"

"For heaven's sake, shut up!" Halt yelled, then more quietly, "Ouch. Can you guys just leave me alone for a while? I'm tired."

"Oh, sure, Halt. Sorry, Halt." They all said apologetically. They walked to the kitchen and left him alone.

Halt sighed. He was really tired . . . if only he could fall . . . asleep . . . .

"You shouldn't write this fanfiction like this." A tall, blond-haired girl said.

"Why? It all works," another girl, this one shorter with curly brown hair, asked.

"'Cause it's annoying," the first girl answered.

"How? Come on, Morea. There is no such thing as annoying writing. Especially mine."

"Uh, Xayh, missing commas? Nothing capitalized? You complain about it all the time." The girl, who apparently was named Morea, said.

"I forgot about that. Anyways, back to the point, why shouldn't I write my fanfiction like this? How else would I write it?"

"Like this."

Xayh: Like—oh. . . .

Morea: See what I mean? So much easier.

Xayh: Not really. You're not the one who has to write your name fifteen billion times.

Morea: You've only written it twice. The good thing about writing it like this is you can be more random.

Xayh: Wait, hold on. [suddenly screams] IT'S THE GAY CAPTIAN!

Both: [burst out laughing]

Morea: [screams at anyone crazy enough to read something this horrible] Just go with it!

"Okay, back to normal. We're falling off course." Xayh said.

"No, duh. Randomness rules!" Morea crowed.

"Yeah, it's the picture of epicness. Hey! Epicness isn't a real word." Xayh exclaimed.

Morea's eyes widened. "Noooooooo!" Then she said sarcastically, "My life is ruined. Seriously, Xayh. How did you know anyway?"

"'Cause it has those red squiggly thingamajigies under it."

"It's called Spellcheck." Morea rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. . . . I hate all those ads on YouTube."

"Um, why did you put that? Halt doesn't even know what YouTube is."

"He's not going to remember this when he wakes up."

"Then why are you writing this?" Morea yelled.

"One, you told me to. Two, this started out serious and I got bored so I wanted to make it random. Three, waiting for Halt to wake up is boring."

"Humph. I didn't tell you to write it in a dream. You didn't really need the gay captain part, though. No one will get it."

"I did to need the gay captain part." Xayh protested. "Hey! I'm over a thousand words!"

"Well, Halt's dream has been, like, one and a half Microsoft Word pages long." Morea pointed out.

"True, true. . . ." Xayh muttered.

Please review! I hope you enjoyed it. Or, at least, it wasn't the worst thing you've ever read.