If someone were to take my hand and tell me that I was needed…

That expectation-filled glance that the adult had sent him only made a pang of disappointment screech and nothing else. But maybe that was when the clockworks of his mind started churning, spewing unneeded but uncontrollable thoughts.

"Lia."

To be utterly honest, Ivan had no idea about what he was doing.

Really – no idea at all.

The expression Lia had vaguely reminded him of fear. She looked scared while she was talking to the principal. Was going to school that bad? Sure, there was the constant pile of stress that came from homework and assignments and the drawling of teachers – but to look so…

Ah, what was that thing her father did?

That thing that made her less… riled up?

He put his hand on her head and at the same time she flinched. But then, he noticed, the tension from her shoulders perished and if he hadn't been watching her closely, he wouldn't have seen how she leaned very, very lightly into his touch.

He tilted his head somewhat, an intrigued sparkle entering his eyes.

Maybe Lia's weak point was being pet on the head?

Like… a cat.

Or was it? Oh well.

A smile twitched at the corner of his lips but quickly flittered away into a serious expression.

He lowered his head and attempted to meet Lia's covered eyes.

"This is a good idea."

And it was.

There was the intense hesitance lingering in his mind while he stated this (because, let's face it, he was Ivan), but he knew that having a second option from being a Hero was a smart idea. If anything were to happen, she could always resort to something else, and that something else may or may not require her to have a proper education, high school certificate and all.

It was dumb if a person became a Hero without any back-up, after all. If they were to be severely injured and no longer able to do heroic acts, or if their powers disappeared altogether…

But… did he have a back-up? Yeah; he could go back to school because Principal Massini would always open up a spot for him. But the thing is, Principal Massini didn't expect him to go back. Or rather, he'd be… disappointed, wouldn't he?

Ivan wasn't even expecting to become a Hero – even though he agreed with… with Edward that they were both going to make it to that stage. Maybe he'd had a few moments of wishful thinking, but really, him? And Edward never made it. In turn, he was at loss as to what to do – for a handful of other things as well.

"-ever."

Ivan's eyes shot up to Lia's face. Her bottom lip edged out slightly, forming her mouth into a slight pout and if he looked hard enough, he was sure that her face was dusted lightly with pink.

Then, she stood up.

And while she was retreating to her room, his eyes focused on her left shoulder.

She had said the bullet had only grazed it but even if it had only grazed it – it'd leave a scar.

A scar…

And it'd always, always be his fault.

What and why and just what was he doing? He was going to live with Lia. With Lia. Lia was going to live with him. Him. He, who shouldn't be a Hero. He, who Lia is going to eventually get sick of – and besides, she was going to school. She was going to make friends and then she'd see just how better they were compared to him. He'd be abandoned and forgotten and left out.

He was worried and he was jealous and he didn't even deserve the benefit of worry and it was disgusting because he was jealous and he was just so…

…

And… above all that… it was so easy to see that he just didn't… deserve anything. To meet the Heroes, to be a Hero, to be free. Because Edward sure as hell didn't have the privilege to even have those opportunities thrust at him anymore. And, and then? Those excruciating seconds that the russet-haired teenager is spending in jail is his fault. While he gets to do things that his best friend doesn't because he didn't take the initiative to step in back then and help.

His best friend.

How… how terrible of a person was he to just… even when Edward was calling his name and…

And of course, Ivan had ruined that friendship.

At that moment, there was this sort of feeling that blocked his airways and crushed his chest.

Maybe it was regret. It was definitely some kind of sadness.

There was an underlying self-hatred, too.

"-don't be late."

His eyes widened.

"W-wait…!"

The hologram had already dispersed.

He just had to miss the most important fact that Principal Massini had to say, didn't he?

Ivan's hands curled into fists.

Of course. He was… Ivan.

The blond's vision was beyond hazy but the strangling emotion at his throat was even more prominent. It hurt, and he couldn't make a sound.

Nevertheless, it just grew stronger: he just had to miss the most important sentence that Principal Massini was going to say, didn't he? And to think, it was only a few minutes earlier when he was stable enough to assure Lia on something that would affect something as huge as her life.

Through blurry eyes, Ivan looked at the hand that had rested on top of Lia's head.

He should've been feeling happy that at least he had sort of helped Lia.

But he wasn't and he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he made himself miserable and he always managed to.

Wasn't there something he could do, for Edward? For himself? Yesterday's feeling of worth shrunk and lessened until he couldn't see it any more.

5:00PM, Justice Tower.

What time was it now?

Lia dragged herself to her bed, where she collapsed and rolled over twice to pat the bed for her music player.

10:56AM…

The sigh that escaped through her nose made her chest fall and she relaxed into her bed. So maybe she was eavesdropping but there wasn't any other noise except for the faint wind outside her window.

Principal Massini must've hung up. She couldn't hear his voice nor Ivan's.

What was Ivan doing?

She also had to put the groceries away, so…

Lia tumbled off her bed slowly, sliding down until her feet were curled underneath her crouched body. Then, she straightened up and walked to the door.

Honestly, she'd made it awkward for herself. If she were to go out, walking casually as if her little episode hadn't happened…

…she sighed.

Well, there wasn't much to lose, right?

The door slid ajar soundlessly.

Her foot crossed the doorframe but she paused when she saw the hunched figure of Ivan with his arms hugging his knees and his head tucked between them.

She squinted.

What… was he doing?

She stood stationary, hesitantly.

He… he was… trembling?

Lia gradually dragged the cloth around her head off; the fabric tickling her face until she opened her eyes and held the blindfold loosely with her fingers.

Yeah. His form was shaking ever so slightly.

She doubted it was because of the cold.

As she drew closer with wary and light feet, her eyes fixed on the imperfect circles that darkened the wooden floor.

That's when her eyes grew a fraction in size.

No.

If-if he was crying, she couldn't handle that.

No.

Straight-up, definite no.

Then why wasn't she fleeing from the scene already?

She couldn't comfort anyone to save her life, and she didn't even know why he was crying when he seemed perfectly fine before.

And there was yet another disturbing factor.

Why did she feel… so sad? She was worried – of course, anyone would be. But there was this pang of…

Her fingers twitched and there was an undeniable urge to reach out to him.

She could reach out but would she actually reach him, or would she be silently rejected like when she tried to help him that other time? Would he hide his face from her again with a single shout or would he ignore her?

She… kind of… didn't want to risk it.

"…I'm so sorry, sorry, please… sorry, I never wanted…"

His tiny voice cracked but the sobs continued.

But he was such an overthinking little… idiot.

If he was left alone… who knows what he'd do? She didn't want him to hurt himself.

Besides, he helped her before so she should return the favour…

And when he looked so… it was hard to describe – but bluntly, he was hard to look at and she really did want to get away. The sight of him crying and hearing his repeated, desperate apologies to empty air, oddly enough, made her want to cry too.

Her throat ran dry as soon as she parted her lips – what would she say?

And how had he not noticed her yet?

Then, her free hand with fingers uncurled, she bent down and stretched her arm towards-

His head rose, eyes glassy and face flushed.

There was a short instant where brown and purple met.

His pupils flickered from her hand, to her eyes, then back to her hand…

What happened next was a flurry of movement.

Honestly, he was just so dishevelled that there wasn't much room for thought anymore. There was also the fact that Lia had this expression…

When their eyes had met, Lia had flinched and pulled away her hand but in a split second his own hand tugged her back.

'This is the 'what' and this is the 'why'' – were the things that ran through Ivan's otherwise clouded head.

And please just for now, even if it doesn't make much sense, the blond thought to himself, please just let me think that.

The 'what' – because he had no other choice.

The 'why' – because he had no other choice.

It's just how it was.

Despite that, a reason why he couldn't just keep on crying and moping around was that Lia was his friend, if he was allowed to call her that.

…or at least, he wouldn't make her worry. She was younger than him, she didn't need that extra baggage on her shoulders.

While holding her close to him, Ivan nearly let out a sigh. He couldn't deny the fact that he was just so needy too; he only hoped that Lia would be able to put up with him for as long as she could.

To say she was uncomfortable would be an understatement.

Her legs were spread out awkwardly behind her, curled underneath her torso and overlapping Ivan's own legs. Ivan's chin rested on the junction between her shoulder and neck, and resulted in the desire to squirm at the ticklish feeling that was elicited. His arms were coiled around her middle but she didn't know where to put hers.

Finally, when he didn't let go, she settled them against his clothed back – just underneath his shoulders, with her hands spread out against the firm warmth.

What was she supposed to do?

Against her, Ivan breathed slowly.

She wondered if he was still crying.

"Is…"

His gentle breathing paused. Why? Was he... scared?

"…this about… Edward?"

What else could it be about?

A few tentative seconds flashed by before he tightened his arms.

Something in her chest did something weird but went ignored.

Lia was unsure how long Ivan was going to hug (her awkwardness almost tripled when she thought this word) her like this, but after a while of silence, she returned the favour and let her chin lie on his shoulder.

So... that was his answer. What now?

The rhythm of her breathing began to match his and she wondered how many minutes had passed just sitting there.

The heated feeling on her cheeks was long gone by the time her hands started tracing light circles against his black singlet. What she didn't notice was how Ivan suddenly tensed up at the feeling, his body making a slight arch as her finger tickled a sensitive spot in his back that he hadn't known, before he stuttered out a 'L-Lia!'.

From her lips left an absentminded 'hm?' before Ivan's hand travelled to her shoulders and gently pushed her away.

She blinked; her eyes sweeping over his crimson cheeks before widening and she propelled herself away from him, making the blond fall back onto his elbows with a small exclamation of surprise.

"I-I… y-you… that was your fault okay! I-I'm not some pervert okay! You-" Lia let out a frustrated noise and backed away further.

Ivan pushed himself up, the blush enveloping his cheek unwavering, but he nodded lightly, embarrassedly at the girl's rambles.

Where her fingers had been trailing left a lingering feeling that trembled between tingling and tickling.

Silence took over. The blond resisted the urge to look up – it wasn't often that Lia had her blindfold off and honestly, there was that curiousity to just see her full face.

…he didn't know why exactly, he was that curious and why he wanted to see it, but…

Maybe because it was like a mystery. Mysteries were cool.

Then, a snicker sounded from across him. He allowed his head to rise, meeting chocolate irises.

"You're ticklish?"

He opened his mouth and closed it, finding it unnecessary to answer.

Lia let out an amused snort, before she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. The pinkish shades on her cheeks were kind of... eye-catching? Was that the word? Ivan didn't know how to explain it, but 'eye-catching' sounded kind of weird. He was never really a very good writer.

"Anyway," she said, "Do you have a pen?"

He sent her a curious look before shaking his head.

She frowned lightly, before moving to pick up the blindfold that had slipped out of her grip earlier.

"I might have a pen in my bag…" Ivan heard her mutter to herself, watching as she stood up.

A flittering thought crossed through his mind – what did she think of him now?

The black-haired girl turned on her heel and Ivan expected her to return to her room, but before she did, she faced him again, walked to at least two feet away from him and crouched to his level.

"Hey…"

He glanced at her eyes – they were indeed a light brown but it might've been his imagination – the electric blue he saw.

"Look," a sigh, "I'm not… I'm not good with…" She gestured to him, "…this?"

Her eyes narrowed at the way her voice had faltered, before she cleared her throat and said, "As in… I-I don't…"

Her teeth chewed on her bottom lip before she scrunched up her nose and remarked, "Look, alright? Saying 'cheer the hell up' won't make you cheer up because it never works that way."

Her eyelashes shaded her narrowed yet somehow soft eyes as she averted her eyes to the floor. Then, they rose and met his own.

She was fed up with not knowing how to help.

"So, even if I say this you probably won't talk to me but-" She faltered, "I-I'm… here for you alright, idiot? Don't… don't try to shoulder everything yourself because that's just dumb. It's not… healthy. I- look, hey, I don't even care if you got my jacket wet with your t-tears but… but…"

Oh fuck, wouldn't that make him feel embarrassed? What else should she say-

"I… don't know what to say to make you feel better."

She finally admitted, breaking the eye contact and looked unsatisfied and angry and maybe even a bit sad.

"Sorry... but, you know, I am here. Ugh, that's so cliché but-… guh, just don't cry alone, yeah? Ah, crap... and forget about your male pride for a moment, you see girls cry and people don't care, guys don't have to act all macho because there are different types of guys and it's normal and oh my god, what am I saying- I'm just making- ugh…"

Lia let her palm whack her forehead and she grumbled words he couldn't hear.

Ivan's lips tilted downwards, before he reached his hand out and softly let it rest on her head. Did he even have 'male pride' to forget? It was embarrassing that Lia saw him so vulnerable but… what's done is done – and wasn't it fair?

The black-haired girl jolted momentarily, before locking her eyes onto his.

"…thank you."

It was okay that she didn't know. Because he didn't know either. All he could do, he supposed, was do whatever he could to make it up to the Edward that had no future, or at least, not a bright one.

Still, he was at a loss what to do when she looked up with an expression that made him regret letting her out of his arms.

He had someone.

That was all.

"...but Ivan?"

"…yes?"

"Don't touch my head again. It's creepy."

She stated that sentence with the same deadpan voice that he had become familiar with.

He removed his hand but the frown on his face was wiped away; a slight twinkle of amusement in his eyes.

"Okay."

"5:00pm… Justice Tower… where is the Justice Tower anyway?" Lia sighed, spinning the pen in her hands. She fingered the note in her hands before getting off the couch and placing the small piece of paper on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, Ivan-…"

The statement fell short.

"What… are you doing?"

Ivan toppled off of the couch (she couldn't comprehend how clumsy Ivan could be sometimes) and from his fingers left something white and bird-like. Deadpan, Lia watched as the blond landed on it, effectively squashing it.

"Paper… folding…"

The boy lifted his hands to show her, but stopped as soon as he realized there was nothing in his hands to show.

The black-haired girl observed the boy as he panicked. She sighed.

This is what Lia would have to deal with from now on.

Not that she minded.

…I would squeeze their hand back and say to them, 'I need you too.'

Yeah... I, um, yeah.

This chapter can either be really emotional and touching OR it can be sucky and out of character.

ALSO* I FORGOT: DISCLAIMER:

greyzebra aka karimacchi helped me out a ton with how Ivan was going to react to Lia seeing him vulnerable. I owe a lot to her, so check out her stories okay? She's working on a TNB fic as well as a Free! fic. They're both great and I really need to catch up on them, so yeah.

Continuing on-

So you see, Ivan WOULD probably be totally embarrassed and say something he'd regret to Lia because of his male pride of being seen crying but I felt that Ivan... Ivan, in a really simple sense, is done. He's just done. I'm sure some of you who have tumblrs can understand this phrase. Basically he's already quite broken and he's the one who keeps on hammering at the fragile cracks and he knows that. He's just fed up and he's tired and he wants to get better so what Lia offers him is just support (but essentially /not/ a way to move on) and a person he can kind of lean on, even if he's too fearful of being 'annoying' and such.

So thanks for reading. Thank you also to sophiashyaway who helped me with my writer's block! You're amazing so thank you, hehe.

I hope you can enjoy this. Sorry for the late update! /kisses and spreads love.