DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kishimoto's Naruto characters nor do I make any profit from this work of fiction. Nor do I own MTV's show "Catfish"; I simply play off the idea.

WARNINGS: M/M sexual situations, F/M sexual situations, language, OOC

RATED M

Guys my life is so crazy -_- three jobs, college, working out, making time for my boyfriend, and trying to write…

CATFISH

Blink. Blink. Blink.

"I'm under you…" Sasuke said slowly, blinking at the frantic blond on top of him. It wasn't unpleasant if you ignored the facts that 1. Naruto was a solid, kind of heavy mass 2. Because of number one, Sasuke's head had bounced nicely off the hardwood floor. In fact, the longer Naruto laid in shock on top of him the more pleasant it got… Naruto was having a little problem down south and boy did it feel wonderful pressed against Sasuke's thigh.

"S-Sorry," Naruto murmured breathlessly.

Ohh. That's nice.

Naruto pushed himself off of Sasuke and sat back against the wall. Sasuke sat up, rubbing the back of his head, and peeked into the bedroom Naruto had just exited. His eyes widened a fraction at the sight of a half-naked, crying Hinata. Naruto grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the doorway. "It's not what you think," he said frantically.

Sasuke really didn't care what it was because if Hinata was crying and Naruto was still hard that meant that nothing had happened. Damn, he was a little mean, wasn't he? He looked at the blond for a moment and even in his tipsy state, he could see raw fear in those blue eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

Pushing his fingers through his hair, Naruto looked up and down the hallway twice before his eyes settled on Sasuke. "I'm petrified of what Neji is gonna do to me if he finds out about this. I know you said not to worry…"

"But a protective person who already knows how to fight will kick your ass?" Sasuke guessed.

Naruto nodded. "I really didn't do anything either. And Hinata is worrying me."

"Ino said she doesn't hang out with the best girls and they got high tonight. That does sound unlike her."

Naruto thumped his head against the wall. "Shit. Shit."

Sasuke hated seeing him so distressed. He wanted his blond happy. Yes, he had graduated to his blond. "You wanna go get some more to drink?"

"I dunno…"

"C'mon, at least for tonight, keep your mind off things. Let's get shit-faced, hide from Neji, and enjoy the night." Sasuke got to his feet and pulled Naruto's hand. "C'mon!"

Naruto got up reluctantly and followed Sasuke down the hallway. Sasuke motioned for him to wait and looked stealthily around the corner. No Neji. He waved that the coast was clear and the two boys sneaked hurriedly into the kitchen. Someone had apparently delved into the liquor cabinet of the homeowner because the kitchen was littered with more bottles of alcohol. They sifted through the bottles, looking for some to claim. Sasuke found another bottle of Black Label and grinned. He liked the stuff for some reason. Naruto snatched up a handle of vodka that was still mostly full. They nodded to each other and headed out.

Neji was nowhere to be seen as Naruto and Sasuke ninja-ed their way through the house looking for somewhere to sit in peace and drink. Finally, they made it to the basement where there were barely any people. Sasuke pointed to a relatively dark and empty corner and the two took up residence there. Naruto took a long drink of the vodka, cringing as he swallowed. Sasuke smirked at him and took a sip from his own bottle.

"What exactly happened up there?"

Naruto shrugged. "Hina is high. She came on to me… aggressively."

"How aggressively?"

After another swig of the vodka, Naruto sighed loudly and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "She pushed me down and started sucking my cock."

"Wouldn't most guys love that? I mean if someone was pushing me down and sucking my cock," Sasuke said, giving the blond a pointed look that went right over his head, "I wouldn't argue."

"It wasn't the blowjob, trust me. It was her. I didn't—don't want that Hinata. She's not the girl I liked."

"Didn't you just like her innocence so you could violate her?"

Naruto's eyes flashed with anger. "Seriously, Sasuke? Yes, I liked her innocence, but no, I wasn't just trying to violate her. I'm not some fucking rapist."

Sasuke waved him off, unfazed by his anger. "Okay, bad wording." He took another drink and yawned. "Damn, alcohol makes me sleepy."

"Then why the hell do you wanna get drunk?" Naruto questioned.

Sasuke shrugged. Logic wasn't always his strong-point. Everyone had their moments. The two fell into a comfortable silence.

Time passed and passed and Sasuke's bottle was empty. He glanced over at Naruto. The blond was staring off at nothing, his bottle by his side, significantly empty though it still held some vodka. Sasuke blinked sleepily. Two Narutos? Mm, twice the fun!

Sasuke jumped in surprise when his head hit something solid, but kind of soft. When had he fallen over? He rolled onto his back, his head resting on Naruto's lap and looked up into the blue eyes that were watching him. A stupid grin lit Naruto's face. "You fell asleep an' fell over." He laughed and touched Sasuke's hair. "Cute when ya sleep."

"But I'ma boy," Sasuke reminded him.

"Boys can be cute," Naruto declared, nodding.

"Then m'cute. Thaaaanks."

"Do other boys think ya cute, Sasu?"

Sasuke frowned. "No! M'not cute to other boys. M'gorgeous. Se-xy."

Naruto snorted with laughter.

"Think it's funny? Don' think m'sexy?"

Naruto shrugged noncommittally.

"Hmph. Weeell, if we played socc'r, I'd tackle ya."

"S'not football."

"So?"

"Sas, what's it like likin' boys?"

Sasuke blinked blearily at the blond then shrugged. "S'like likin' girls, just bet-ter."

"Why's it better?"

"Whatcha mean why's it better? Men are better. Not so… squishy."

Naruto's brow furrowed at Sasuke's explanation. "Whatcha have against squishy?"

"It's…squishy…"

"It's supposed to be squishy."

Sasuke shook his head. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it up, revealing his pale torso. "Not squishy." He took Naruto's hand and guided it over his chest and abs. "See? That's nice, right?" A strange look passed over Naruto's face. Sasuke grinned stupidly. "You never ex-ex-experie…no, experienmented. Shit, tha's not the word…" Sasuke stopped and thought hard for a moment. "Oh, experimented… you never experimented with a boy, Na-ru-to?"

Naruto shook his head vehemently.

"You seem to like it," Sasuke teased, glancing down at the hand that Naruto had failed to remove from his chest.

Naruto snatched his hand back like he'd touched fire. "I'm straight! I like girls, squishy girls! They…they feel nice! And they're tight! Tight is so nice!"

Sasuke sat up, swaying, and leaned close to Naruto's ear. The blond tried to move away, but Sasuke pressed his mouth closer. "Boys…are…tighter…" he whispered. In the next moment he found himself flat on his back from Naruto's push. "Why'd ya push me," he giggled.

"You—you—you—you said something weird! Boys—boys—" he sputtered.

Sasuke propped himself up on his elbows, a mischievous look in his eyes and a smirk on his face. "Boys are tight. Haven' you ever fucked a girl in her ass? I's tight. Boys only have ass'oles. You never felt anythin' so tiiight."

Naruto's face was darker red than Gaara's face, Sasuke observed with glee. He loved seeing the blond flustered.

"St-Stop sayin' stuff like that, Sasuke! S'not funny!"

Snickering, Sasuke decided not to torture him…that way… anymore. "Ya never answered my question, moron. You never experie…damnit…just, you never answered!"

Naruto's eyes shifted to the ceiling and he cleared his throat. "W-Well… no. It's not… not like we sit 'round in the locker room and—and touch each other's dicks."

"Nothin' at all?"

"Okay!" Naruto sighed in defeat. "I had…I had this one guy in high school. He said it was normal for guys to—to, yaknow, jack off together. He was just g-gay an' wanted to jack off with me. That's it though!"

Sasuke was jealous, instantly. Another guy had seen Naruto jack off? Not. Fair! "I'm jealous!" Wait, was he supposed to say that out loud?

"What?!" Naruto screeched. "Why?!"

Sasuke had the decency to blush lightly. "Uhh, I just—I was—never mind." He looked away stubbornly and thought about his next move—not an easy feat when drunk. Yup, he got nothing in that jumbled brain of his.

"S'gettin' really late," Naruto commented.

"It's been late."

"Wanna go back? I wanna sleep in a bed."

Sasuke groaned. He was too tired to walk back to school. "M'tired. Too tired."

"C'mon," Naruto pouted.

"Shikamaru an' Ino are prob'ly havin' sex though," Sasuke whined back.

"Then we go to my room."

Say no more.

Naruto POV

Naruto blinked blearily in the bright sunshine. Hm, he was in his own dorm, that was good, but damn his head was pounding. And what the hell? Did he bring someone back to sleep with him? He was about to turn and see who was squeezed into his bed with him when the person shifted and he felt…

Oh my fuck!

It was unmistakably a guy in the bed behind him. Definitely. And dear god, whoever it was had morning wood pressing into his ass.

He checked over himself quickly and was relieved that he was at least fully clothed. He rolled over carefully to check on the other guy.

It would be Sasuke and he would be in nothing except tight black boxer-briefs. Naruto flushed and tried to look anywhere except the pale body next him. He especially tried not to look at the very impressive outline of Sasuke's erection. But you know how that goes, the harder you try not to look at something the more your eyes are drawn to it. Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. Why was he so concerned about another guys dick?

Naruto rolled off his bed as gently as possible, wincing at the throbbing it caused in his head. He reached for his phone and opened up his messages to Reia. He missed her.

Me: hey rei, I miss you! I got so shitfaced last night… like, woke up in bed with a guy shitfaced. I don't even know what happened. Well, I know what DIDN'T happen so no worries ;) its just one of my new friends anyway, totally cool… I guess. I have other stuff to tell you though

Me: reia? Are you there?

Me: it's not like you to not answer…

Me: you're starting to worry me…

Me: Reia?

Naruto gave up after a little while. Maybe she had gone out too and was still asleep. Why was he awake anyway? Groaning, he pushed himself to his feet and staggered to the other side of his bed for some meds for his headache. He heard a soft shuffling behind him and turned to check on Sasuke. He hadn't moved.

Right… he had a roommate.

He turned to the other side of the room and his eyes met Kiba's brown ones. The boys stared at each other for a moment. Kiba's eyes drifted down to his side, back to Naruto, then to Naruto's bed. With a worried look, Kiba pulled his blankets higher and looked anywhere but at Naruto.

Weird, Naruto thought. He opened his mouth to ask Kiba what was wrong when the blankets he had just fixed suddenly moved and fell away as the person in Kiba's bed turned over. Naruto turned calmly away from the sight of Hinata's naked body. "Really, Kiba?" he said quietly, but he knew the other could hear him.

"You said you weren't going after her anymore," Kiba argued softly. "And you have a guy in your bed."

"That's none of your concern. We only slept, we were drunk."

"Then it's none of your concern what I did with Hinata."

Naruto looked over his shoulder, his eyes angry. "She was high, Kiba. Probably drunk, too. And don't—" Naruto continued, raising his voice to prevent Kiba from speaking, "say you were drunk. Because I know you don't drink. Didn't you see how different she was? What if she regrets it?"

"I—I just…she came on to me, man. What was I supposed to do?"

"Do you have that little self-control? She came on to me, too. I said no. I couldn't do that to her."

"Well sorry I'm not a fucking saint," Kiba bit out.

Naruto shook his head. "Whatever."

"Don't act all high and mighty, Namikaze."

"Don't call me that."

"Why? Because you know you act just like him?"

Naruto felt anger surge through him. "I'm not like that anymore!" he yelled. "I am not like my father!"

"Yeah, whatever. You've been out of high school for what? Not even a year? But you're changed."

"Shut the fuck up, Kiba. If you know what's good for you, shut the fuck up."

"Sure, Naruto. You wouldn't be so mad if it wasn't true."

Growling, Naruto threw the bottle in his hand as hard as he could at Kiba's face. The bottle smacked the other in the eyes and Kiba howled in pain. "You fucking moron! That shit hurt so fucking bad!" He doubled over, holding his eye and breathing harshly. "Fuck!"

Naruto stalked across the room and leaned down to whisper, menacingly. "I will still beat the shit out of you, Kiba. You think you're tougher because we're in college now? I will fuck you up."

Kiba waved him off, concerned only with the pain in his eye.

Naruto inhaled deeply and moved back to his side of the room. He picked up his phone to text Reia and realized he'd grabbed the wrong phone. As he was about to place it down and grab his phone instead the phone began to buzz. His heart jumped when a picture of Reia popped up on Sasuke's phone screen. Sasuke knew her? How? His eyes drifted down to the contact name.

Sana Uchiha?

Props to pickensl246 and TheHiddenAngel whose ideas helped fuel my own ideas!

This is proof… if YOU think your idea would go great in Catfish, PM or review! You never know, you could be my next inspiration!

THANKS to everyone who reads, follows, favorites, and reviews! Don't forget to check out my other work! XD