Title: Red Rag Top
Author: rabid behemoth
Rating: T (warning for upsetting themes)
Summary: Stopped at a red light, Kakashi remembers a car, a lover, and what might have been. AU Songfic. Warnings for possibly upsetting themes and bittersweet content. [KakaSaku]

A/N: Lyric credits go to Tim McGraw's awesome song, "Red Rag Top." I just expanded and adapted the plot. It's kind of a bittersweet, nostalgic song, which makes for kind of a bittersweet, nostalgic fic. There's some potentially upsetting implications as well. If that doesn't bother you, please enjoy.

Red Rag Top

The yellow light went straight to red. Kakashi swore under his breath and hit the brakes. His sweet tea went flying. He put the Corolla in park and reached over to open the passenger dash, groping for something to clean it up with before it stained. He removed a handful of leftover napkins from some drive-thru meal and patted down his carpet.

He couldn't be too upset about the spill after such a sluggish workday. His sales job was easy, but maybe only because he was good at it. Kakashi didn't think of himself as a very reliable person, so it continually amazed him that so many people wanted to buy from him. He didn't have the heart to cry over a little spilled sweet tea.

He leaned back against the seat and waited for the light to change. He idly wished he hadn't forgotten Icha Icha at the office — his route home was riddled with so many long stoplights he was wasting precious minutes staring into space. They could've been better spent reading smut.

Sighing, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and glanced out the window. A flash of gleaming red caught his eye.

It was a red rag top. The convertible was old but in good condition — Kakashi could tell from the sound of the engine. He had owned one the exact same model and color a lifetime ago, after all.

The driver was a young girl — at least twenty-five, thirty years younger than himself, probably still a teenager. Her brown curls bobbed along in time to the radio. Just as he rolled his window down to get a better look at the car, she happened to glance in his direction.

And her eyes were green —

In Kakashi's mind, her features morphed, long brown hair becoming short and pink. The radio blared.

— and I was in an old scene

His uncle may have picked up the car, but it was the car that picked up the girl.

Technically speaking, Minato wasn't really his uncle — just a family friend. When Kakashi's father joined his mother wherever it is that the dead go, it was Minato who took him in. Kakashi was still so young when it happened, he came to think of Minato as a kind of second father, perhaps even a better one than his first had been.

It was Minato who bought him his first car: a red rag top convertible. An unnecessarily flashy car for a boy Kakashi's age, but Minato had the money, and he knew Kakashi didn't have much at all. A car was a poor replacement for parents, but Minato did what he could. What mattered was that it made Kakashi happy.

"I'm glad you like it," Minato had said when he saw Kakashi smile for the first time in far too long. "Just promise you won't use it to pick up girls."

Kakashi laughed.

He and the car spent many years together. It took him to high school, then to his first job. It carried all the possessions Kakashi could pack into it when he left his hometown for good. He drove it back across three states for Minato's funeral. Its beige upholstery absorbed Kakashi's tears on too many occasions.

The years of love eventually showed in its dulled finish and peeling paint. Kakashi was busy with the problems of adulthood — like being out of work after his company went bankrupt — and didn't maintain it as meticulously as he used to.

It was a blisteringly hot summer's day, even for the south. He walked out of the university's admissions office feeling dejected. The kind of loan he'd have to take out to go back to school just wouldn't work for him. Kakashi still had some savings left over; he'd be better off continuing to look for work. If he had to move again to find it, so be it. He scanned the parking lot for the familiar red glint, but his eyes were drawn to pink instead.

She was young — too young for him — no doubt a student. Her short hair fluttered in the breeze, and maybe that was what attracted his attention.

Or maybe it was the fact that she was scrawling 'WASH ME' in the dust on his back windshield.

"Ahem."

She spun around like a criminal caught in the act.

And her eyes were green

Her eyes darted to him, then to the car, then back to him again. She clasped her hand behind her neck sheepishly.

"So, this is probably your car, huh?"

"Yep."

"Sorry!" she laughed, edging away from his property. "It's just really too gorgeous not to take care of it, you know."

There was really nothing gorgeous about the car anymore. From the dents in the fender to the rust on the doors, Kakashi was sure the red rag top was beautiful to no one but himself. He arched a brow at her.

"You think it's gorgeous?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! I love red cars. And this one's a convertible!"

"The top doesn't even go down automatically anymore. I have to use my hands."

"I think manual convertible tops are cool."

Kakashi crossed his arms. "The passenger door hasn't opened in years, either."

She shrugged before mimicking his gesture. "Flaws provide interest. Perfection is dull."

Kakashi smiled at her stubbornness. Impulsively, he said, "If you like it so much, why not come with me to treat the poor old girl to a nice drive-through car wash?"

The thought of going for a ride with a stranger was a bit absurd, even if it was just to the gas station around the block. But something in his eyes made Sakura nod. "Alright. She deserves a bath." She smiled up at him. Kakashi helped her into the passenger's seat through the open window.

A few minutes later, he dropped her back off in front of the admissions building. He waved to her retreating figure. It wasn't until long after she disappeared from sight that he realized he'd forgotten to ask her name.

— and she was eighteen,

We were just about as wild as we were green

In the ways of the world

For reasons he couldn't fathom, Kakashi returned to campus at the same time each day for a week, hoping to catch a glimpse of her again. On the seventh day, he did.

She strolled across the parking lot alongside an exuberant blonde man, flip flops smacking the blacktop with each step. Her white shorts were rolled up, but it probably wasn't helping the summer heat much. Her eyes lit up in surprise when she locked gazes with him across the lot. She turned to say something to the blonde boy before jogging over to Kakashi, the shoulder strap of her backpack clutched in her hand.

"I didn't think I'd see you again," she said by way of a greeting.

Kakashi smirked. "Hi there, yourself."

A faint pink tinge colored her cheeks. "Sorry! I meant 'hi.'" She laughed.

Kakashi liked the sound. "I never caught your name."

"Sakura." She scuffed the sole of her sandal back and forth against the asphalt, attempting to remove a sticky wad of gum. "What's yours?"

"Kakashi."

They looked at each other for a long moment. They opened their mouths to speak at the same time.

She laughed again. It made Kakashi think of bells. "You first."

"I was wondering if you'd like to go for a real ride with me."

Her eyes were round with intrigue. "Where to?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Nowhere in particular. I like just driving."

Her green eyes smiled at him. "I like just driving, too."

He helped her in through the window.

On a summer night

Running all the red lights

They just drove, talking about everything and nothing. Kakashi learned that no, the blonde kid wasn't her boyfriend, and yes she was a pre-med student, and no, she didn't think Kakashi was a creep just because he was older. She thought he was cute, in fact.

Kakashi told her about his hometown, and Minato, and even his parents. They drove over freshly paved roads and meandering dirt ones. They left the city limits and passed cornfields and trees and pastures. They fought over the radio. Kakashi put the top down, and Sakura slipped her sandals off to put her feet up on the dash. Kakashi didn't even mind. They didn't care where they were going.

By the time they pulled into a clearing in an orange grove, the sun had long set. Even without it shining, the night air was sweltering. The crickets chirped the temperature. Their clothes stuck to their bodies with sweat, so they took them off.

In the back of that red rag top

She said please don't stop

Every weekend they drove to a new place together. They got lost a lot because neither was the type to willingly ask for directions. Fortunately, they didn't mind being lost so much, either.

The red rag top found secluded parking spots next to creeks, and parks, and empty fields of grass. Or just on the side of the highway, when they were really impatient for each other. They tried to outrun the summer heat, marking a new spot on the map wherever they made love. They still fought over the radio. Sakura bought sweet tea at every stop, even though Kakashi only drank unsweetened. Against his will, he was developing a liking for the stuff.

Kakashi began to feel like Sakura's feet belonged there on the dash.

We were cooking with gas

Ooh it had to last

Well the very first time her mother met me,

Her green-eyed girl had been a mother-to-be

For two weeks

Her parents were friendly, but their smiles didn't reach their eyes.

"It's just that she's only eighteen — "

"I understand."

"You seem like a nice man, and we really do like you, Kakashi. But she's still in school, and with you out of work, the financial situation..."

"I understand."

"She's really just too young. It's not that we don't think you'd both make good parents, it's just that she's got the whole rest of her life ahead of her — "

"I understand."

"Of course, that's only our opinion. You're both adults, so the final decision is up to you."

"...I understand."

And that was that.

So we did what we did and we tried to forget

And we swore up and down there would be no regrets

In the morning light

But on the way home that night

Her feet weren't on the dash. They didn't fight over the radio. Kakashi pulled over.

Sakura's face was hidden by her bangs, but he saw the tears fall in the dim light of the streetlamp. They mingled with his old ones, absorbed by the upholstery. Too many tear stains for one car.

"Sakura..."

Kakashi kissed each one away.

In the back of that red rag top

She said please don't stop

Loving me

He never did.

We took one more trip around the sun

But it was all make believe in the end

Kakashi knew something was wrong when her schoolwork started keeping her from their weekend road trips. When she did come, she still put her feet on the dash and fought with him over the radio, but her laughter didn't remind him of bells anymore. They continued to make love, but stopped marking it on their map. The summer air cooled.

One day she told him she was leaving. Some big university up north had offered her a scholarship for the fall semester. Transferring was the obvious choice. She invited him to see her off to the airport.

He drove there on the allotted day, but he never left his car. He watched from the window of the red rag top as her plane took off. The passenger's seat was cold under his palm.

No I can't say where she is today

I can't remember who I was back then

Months later he tried to call her to apologize, but her number had changed. He tried to look her up in her new city, but it was too big. He couldn't track her down. He climbed into his car and took off.

I was back in that red rag top

On the day she stopped

Loving me

He walked away from the house her parents had lived in. The 'for sale' sign on the door barely registered in his brain. He crawled into the back seat. He wished she was there to kiss his tears away so he'd have an excuse to cry.

Well you do what you do

And you pay for your sins

And there's no such thing as

What might have been

He hoped she was happy, in a new place with a new life. Kakashi took a page from her book and moved. He found a job in sales. He was good at it. He made new friends. Eventually the red rag top's transmission went. Kakashi paid far too much to fix it, only to have it break again. The third time it happened, the mechanic took pity on him and advised him to scrap it. Kakashi bought a Corolla instead. It was silver, not red. When he bought it, he briefly wondered if she would've liked it, but —

That's a waste of time

Drive you out of your mind

Years passed. Wounds healed. When Kakashi's Corolla bit the dust, he bought another one. He had moved on and forgotten about her long ago — until one day when Kakashi hit the brakes too hard and spilled his sweet tea.

A honk broke him out of his reverie. The green-eyed girl in the red rag top took off. Kakashi hit the gas, freeing the blocked traffic lane behind him. To the other drivers, he probably looked like an absent-minded, nearly middle-aged man in a nondescript Corolla. But in the space of an instant, during the second those green eyes had locked on his —

I was back in that red rag top

On the day she stopped

Loving me

- fin -