Chapter Fourteen

Upon the sea shore, only feet away from the beached vessel The Siren's Song, stands the wizard-god Vashtar. Laying strewn all about him are the broken and bloodied bodies of the frigate's crew. Many of them are moaning in pain. Some are kneeling before the awesome spectacle of this obscenely powerful being, unsure of what to do. Keeping them in their place are Vashtar's groundling mercenaries. Dangling above the ground, being suspended by his neck, is the beaten and bloodied Captain Willows.

"One more time, human," snarls Vashtar, "Whom do you serve?"

In a weak voice, Captain Willows gasps, "I serve . . . The Lords . . . Of Light."

"FOOL!" cries the wizard-god in anger.

Before Vashtar can destroy the captain, suddenly there's a bright light and a loud explosion behind him, causing him to drop the man to the ground. His groundling minions are all blinded by the bright flash. He hears the neighing of horses, and sees the very familiar sight of a white stallion, brown mare, and equart galloping away down the beach. Turning around, the wizard-god sees his nemeses, Thundarr the Barbarian, Princess Ariel, and Ookla the Mok. Joining the barbarian, the sorceress, and the leonine mutant are a pair of young men, barely out of their teens if at all. One of them looks like a warrior in training, wearing leather pants, a sleeveless tunic, and a pair of gauntlets with green gemstones set in them. The other wears robes like a priest or a wizard, and wields a wooden staff with a bronze snake with emerald eyes coiled about it.

"Impossible!" cries Vashtar, "I destroyed you! You're nothing but dust!"

"Wrong, wizard!" shouts Thundarr, "We're back! And we shall have our revenge!"

"Ignorant barbarian!" shouts Vashtar, "Your threats mean nothing to me! This time I will finish what I started!"

Vashtar hurls a bolt of lightning from his palm directly at Princess Ariel. The sorceress once more focuses her magic through the shards of the Kronos stone in her ring, using them to boost her powers as she conjures a shield to deflect Vashtar's attack. It works, and the bolt of lightning is safely deflected. However the wizard-god's power has grown so much that the impact of the two spells hurls the sorceress backward to hit hard against the ground. The back of Ariel's head bangs against a piece of driftwood and knocks her unconscious.

"Ariel!" Thundarr cries out in alarm.

Ookla howls in rage and fires an arrow coated in hind's blood at Vashtar. The wizard-god raises a magic shield not unlike the one conjured by Princess Ariel just a moment ago and the projectile is diverted harmlessly aside. Enraged, Thundarr hurls The Kronos Blade at Vashtar. The wizard-god laughs maniacally as he maintains his magic shield. His look of supreme confidence becomes one of utter shock and horror as The Kronos Blade passes through the magical barrier as though it weren't even there and buries itself hilt deep into Vashtar's chest. The wizard-god stands there, grasping the hilt of the weapon as his enchanted barrier collapses. He coughs up blood as his lungs fill up with the life giving fluid, crimson saliva running down his chin.

"But . . ." he gasps as he falls to his knees, "I'm . . . a . . . god."

With those last words, Vashtar falls over onto his side and expires as his life's blood flows freely from the wound through his chest. The groundlings all stand around, staring in awe as their god is slain right in front of them. Before the groundling captain can even think of what to do, a strong hand taps him on the shoulder. When he turns to see who it is, all he sees is a very large fist coming straight for his rat-like face. The groundling captain goes flying at least a dozen feet through the air to land in an unceremonious heap in front of his loyal pirates. They hear the hum of Thundarr's Sunsword being ignited and lose all heart for a continued battle. As if by one mind, all of the groundlings turn and flee for their lives. When Thundarr, Ookla, Hippocrates, and Heracles look to see who it was that punched out the groundling captain, they are both delighted and surprised by what they see.

"Demon Dogs!" says Thundarr in surprise. Hercules, the son of Zeus, stands before them as clear as day. His hair is now mostly gray, and he now sports a well-trimmed goatee, but there's no mistaking that demigod.

"I figured you might need my help," he says as he walks over to Vashtar's body and retrieves The Kronos Blade.

Thundarr extinguishes the blade of his Sunsword and walks over to his friend. "We are glad to have you with us!" he says as he claps Hercules good naturedly on the back. The barbarian's expression quickly changes from glad to concern. "Ariel!" he gasps.

Thundarr quickly runs over to where Princess Ariel had fallen. Hippocrates is checking on her injuries when the barbarian reaches them. "She'll be alright," says the priest, "She'll have one heck of a bump on the back of her head for a while though."

Just then Princess Ariel's eyes flutter open. Thundarr offers the sorceress his hand to help her up to her feet, which she graciously accepts. As Thundarr is helping her up, his eyes glow green for just a brief moment. "Lords of Light!" he says, "You truly are the most beautiful woman I have ever known."

"Thundarr?" says the sorceress, for the moment confused as to the sudden shift in her friend's attitude towards her. Before she can even say anything else, Thundarr wraps her body in a strong embrace and plants his lips firmly against hers. His tongue forces its way into her mouth, like a battering ram bashing down a castle gate. Once the shock of the situation has worn off, Princess Ariel returns Thundarr's affections threefold. Her arms and legs wrap around the barbarian's muscular body like pythons coiling about their prey. Then in a manner befitting his barbarian roots, Thundarr picks Ariel up and slings her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and marches towards Captain Willows' ship with determined strides.

"We will be occupying your cabin for the next little while, Captain," says Thundarr as he walks past his injured friend.

"Ariel!" calls Hercules, "Aren't you forgetting something?" Princess Ariel takes off the tiara and tosses it onto the sand. "And the ring?" asks Hercules.

"I'll get it to you in an hour," then she looks at Thundarr's muscular buttocks as her upper body is hanging upside down off Thundarr's back, "Maybe two . . . A couple of days, tops."

Hercules, Ookla, Hippocrates, and Heracles go about helping Captain Willows and his crew. The young priest of Asclepius provides as much practical healing as he can, saving the use of his staff for only the most severe cases. He allows Hercules to use the staff to heal the injured, for they guessed (quite correctly) that a demigod has much deeper reserves of life force to tap into for such magics. The sun has set, and the crew of The Siren's Song have built multiple campfires on the beach to chase away the darkness and the chill night air. The sounds of passion drift out from the ship, making some of the friends and crew feel somewhat uncomfortable. Others seem rather amused by the spectacle. Finally, after what seemed to take forever, the sounds of Thundarr's and Ariel's love making has come to an end. Sometime later, Princess Ariel comes staggering over to the campfire where her five friends were relaxing. She eases herself down onto the sand, slips the ring off of her finger, and hands it over to Hercules.

"You okay?" asks the demigod.

"If I had to sum up Thundarr in a single word," says the sorceress, "that word would be stamina."

"So is the honeymoon over?" asks Captain Willows.

"Honestly?" she says, "I really don't know. I know Thundarr was only making love to me because of the ring. But I just don't know how he'll see me when the enchantment is over."

"Trust me, it wasn't just from wearing the ring," says Hercules.

"How can you possibly know that?" she asks.

"Remember our time together in Cythera?"

"How could I ever forget?"

"Do you remember how we wound up in bed together?"

"Your niece, Charisma, used her divine powers to enflame our inner passions."

"That's right. And it only works if there is a base attraction to begin with. You cannot force someone to feel passion for someone they find physically repulsive. And unless I miss my guess, I'd say that that's exactly what this ring does. Enflames ones innermost passions."

"So what you're saying . . ."

"What I'm saying is that what you and Thundarr have been doing all day and most of the night is exactly what both of you, secretly, on some level, truly want to do."

"Still," says Ariel, "I don't know how Thundarr will react if he knew I had taken advantage of him while he was under the influence of a spell."

"I guess there's only one way to find out," replies Hercules.

"Yep," agrees the sorceress as she forces herself back up onto her feet with a groan, "Back into the breach I go."

"Sore?" asks Hippocrates.

"To paraphrase an Old Earth saying," replies Ariel, "When in Greece, do as the Greeks do," and she staggers back towards The Siren's Song.

"What does that mean?" asks Heracles.

Ookla growls a reply in his bestial tongue and shrugs his massive hairy shoulders.

"It means," says Hercules with an amused grin, "that Thundarr was doing the sorceress in the butt."

The next morning, Thundarr and Ariel return to their friends walking side by side with the barbarian's muscular arm draped comfortably about the young woman's shoulders, while her own arm was wrapped affectionately around his waist. Their faces are bright and smiling as they greet their friends once more.

"Good morning!" calls Princess Ariel in a very chipper voice, "Sleep well?"

"Fine," says Hercules, "And how about you two?"

"Never better!" exclaims Thundarr happily.

Ookla growls something in his bestial tongue. Before Thundarr gets the chance to translate, Hercules says, "I'll be taking this ring and tiara back to my niece, Charisma. She has become quite the sorceress and can put their powers to good use. The sword and the bow I think I'll keep for myself. I'm not as young as I used to be, and I could use some help with helping those in need. Speaking of which," and he places a hand affectionately on Heracles's shoulder, "How would you and Hippocrates like to join us?"

"You really mean it?" asks the young man.

"Absolutely," replies Hercules, "After all, that's an awful lot of power you have in those gauntlets. I feel it's up to me to teach you how to use it responsibly."

"Wait a minute!" says Princess Ariel, "Since when do you understand Mok-Speak?"

"It's been over four thousand years," says Hercules, "You'd be surprised at how many skills I've picked up over the centuries."

"Well then," says Thundarr, "Allow me to present your new pupil with a gift." Thundarr goes into his belongings and takes out the sword General Dimios had given him. He hands it to Heracles. "This was given to me by a brave warrior of Sparta," he says.

Heracles draws the blade from its scabbard. "Wow," he gasps, "A real Spartan blade. Wait," he says, "I can't. It was a gift."

"It was given to me in hopes that it may one day save my life," replies Thundarr, "I have my Sunsword and my friends for that. So now I give it to you, with the same hope."

"Thank you," says the young man.

"Use it well," says Ariel, "And use it wisely."

"I will. I promise."

Then Thundarr mounts his horse, as Ariel and Ookla similarly mount their own steeds. Thundarr rears his white stallion up onto its hind legs and waves goodbye to Hercules and his young companions. "Farewell my friends!" calls the barbarian, "Ariel! Ookla! RIIIIDE!" And the three friends ride off into the distance.

At the very same spot, four thousand plus years earlier, Xena and Gabrielle are saying their own goodbyes. Hercules and Iolaus decide to return the borrowed horses, and Joxer's borrowed mule, to Salmoneus. Atalanta agrees to join them on their journey. Autolycus elects to go his own way, as he so often does. He had heard of a wrestling league where one can make a small fortune gambling on the matches. Word is that their champion, Hulkus Hoganus of Rome, was Nye unbeatable. That leaves just Xena, Gabrielle, Joxer, and Jett on the beach. The two twins stand there, staring at one another, neither quite certain of what to say.

"So," says Joxer uncomfortably.

"Hey, thanks for breaking me out of the clink."

"I didn't do much," says Joxer, "Xena and Autolycus did all the real work."

"Yeah but it was your idea!" replies Jett, "Never forget that!" and he pokes Joxer in the forehead several times to emphasize the point.

"Here," says Joxer, "I got you something." He reaches into his armor and pulls out several folded sheets of papyrus.

"What are these?" asks Jett.

"Wanted posters," Joxer replies, "Since you're gonna go legit and become a bounty hunter, I figured you could use them. They're all known warlords, murderers, rapists, and thieves. Wanted dead or alive. Their bounties are at least equal to what you used to charge as an assassin. I figured that would be a good way to start your new career."

"This . . ." and Jett begins to act all choked up, "This is really great. Thanks, bro." and he gives Joxer a hug.

Joxer hugs his brother back, his chin resting on Jett's shoulder, a wide grin upon his face. All of a sudden his eyes go wide and he lets out a girlish scream. Jett has grabbed the back of Joxer's underwear again and is giving him another wedgie. This time Jett pulls on Joxer's underwear so hard he pulls the waistband all the way up and over his brother's head.

"I can't believe you just did that!" cries Joxer, "After all I've done for you! And right in front of my friends too!" Then he runs over to some large boulders where he can get the privacy he needs to pull his underwear out of his butt.

Jett can't help but laugh as he walks up to Xena. The two of them eye each other for a moment before Jett breaks the silence. "You know," he says while holding up the stack of wanted posters that Joxer had given him, "I bet there are more than a few of these floating around out there with your name on them."

"I'd be surprised if there weren't," replies the Warrior Princess, "What of it?"

"You look after my baby brother," Jett says while tapping Xena's armor with the stack of posters, "Or I'll be coming to collect on those bounties."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," Xena replies.

Jett tucks the posters into his leather armor and steps over to stand in front of Gabrielle. They stand there looking at each other for a moment. "So," says Jett.

"So," replies Gabrielle.

"Can you give something to Joxer for me after I leave?" he asks.

"Why can't you give it to him yourself?"

"I hate long goodbyes."

"Okay, what is it?"

Then Jett grabs Gabrielle, pulling her close. He dips her back and leans in close, then plants a deep, wet, passionate kiss right on her lips. They stay like that for several seconds, their lips locked together, their arms wrapped around each other in a tight embrace. Then the assassin-turned-bounty hunter lets her up. The bard sighs as Jett just smiles and walks away, giving the two women warriors a casual wave goodbye. By the time Joxer has returned from picking his underwear out of his butt, Jett is long gone.

"So where to now?" asks Joxer.

"I need to get back to Amazon country so I can tell Ephany about what happened to her customized Artemis Bow," says Gabrielle.

"We'll need provisions for such a long journey," says Xena, "We should stop by Sparta on the way to resupply."

"Sounds good to me," says Joxer, "And I have just the marching song to make the miles fly by!"

"Oh no," groans Gabrielle, "Oh gods, please no."

"He's Joxer the Mighty,

He roams through the countryside,

He never needs a place to hide,

With Gabby as his sidekick,

Fighting with her little stick,

Righting wrongs and singing so-ngs!

Being mighty all day lo-ng!

He's Jox-er! Joxer the Might-y!

EVERYBODY!"

Just then a bolt of lightning comes down from the sky and strikes Joxer, sending the idiot flying through the air to land hard on the rocky ground. Xena and Gabrielle quickly go running to their friend's side. "Joxer!" they both cry at once. Xena checks his neck for a pulse and listens to his chest for a heartbeat, while Gabrielle tries to slap some sense back into him.

"Joxer!" cries Gabrielle, "Joxer! Are you alright?"

"Oh, he'll be alright," says a deep, majestic, melodious voice from behind them. They turn and see a regal looking older gentleman with silver hair and wearing elegant and regal looking robes. "I only hit him with a small lightning bolt. He won't remember the words to that little ditty of his for a while. Or who either of you are. Or even his own name. But he'll be fine. The effects should wear off in a week or two."

"Who are you?" asks Gabrielle.

"Don't you know?" he asks.

"Zeus," says Xena.

"At your service," replies The King of The Gods with a regal bow.

"Why did you have to zap Joxer with a lightning bolt?" asks Gabrielle.

"Why, because you asked me to of course," replies Zeus.

"What?" says the bard, "I never . . ."

"Actually, yeah you did," interrupts Xena, "Right before we met Thundarr, Ariel, and Ookla. Remember?"

"Oh . . . Oops."

"And now I believe you also said something about a reward?" says Zeus as he raises his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Oh gods," says Gabrielle.

"No," says Zeus, "Just one god. Me."

Gabrielle turns to Xena with a pleading expression on her face. "Hey, don't look at me," says The Warrior Princess, "That was your oath to the gods, not mine."

Gabrielle turns back to face Zeus and gives a nervous chuckle, to which The King of The Gods simply smiles knowingly.

THE END